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 safisher57
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 1
Good enough only for sexPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
This pretains to men and women. Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public? I have come across men and woman who think this way. I don't have sex with anyone that I would not be caught dead in public with. If you are ashamed to be seen in public with them, why would you have sex with them?
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 2
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:44:18 AM
Cause some people just exude a desire and a need to be fvcked to a level of absolute bliss.

But intellectually or emotionally, they just aren't compatible.

And c'mon, let's be real here, most people have in mind "a type" who they'd love to do it with at least once or twice...no great conversation or getting in depth...just natural, raw animal magnetism. Is there a problem with that as long as both understand it?

 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 3
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:48:47 AM
That's probably more of a guy thing; but guys tend to compartmentalize sex separate from other aspects of dealing with a partner. A guy is perfectly willing to have sex with a woman he's not particularly attracted to; doesn't respect; and doesn't feel compatible with, just to get himself off. The thinking is: why be seen with a person you have nothing in common with and don't value? Some women think like that too, but probably less frequently.

Most guys grow out of that, though. As one matures, one tends to want a woman who's great for sex and great to be with in general.
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 4
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:57:26 AM
I can't you give an acceptable answer. I will say it is a socially acceptable practice to many. I have had sex with women before ever actually going on "date." When they want to go out afterwards USUALLY am not intersted. Maybe because they were too easy.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 5
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:05:42 AM
usually the "going out in public together" happens before the "sex" thing..

if it doesnt, then you only have yourself to blame!
 wtf!!!!!!!!!
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 6
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:24:24 AM
It sort of on the same lines as you don't masturbate in public either.
 9to9
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 7
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:24:49 AM
Msg1.

This is kinda like The Town Mayor/ Preacher and The Prostitute, in a Western. Good enough to shagg till the sun comes up, but not tolerated in church or other public/ social gatherings where "honest folk"/ "important people" may be.

My advice is thus (and this goes for both sexes as well):

All people want porn, in their bedchambers. Few will admit that in a public venue or want to associate that reality w/ them publically. So find a person whom can be honest about their sexuality, and non hypocritical about that socially.

Also. If a person wants a relationship above the hip:

Either:

A) Thats a condition they expressed from the start. So nothing new to their partner.
B) Either you or your partner have "upgraded" eachothers status above "my anytime shagg puppet" and that has to be a mutual thang to your she or he "thang".
C) Or the rampant degrading sex will continue! So Wimper Louder! And like it! My Sexpuppet!!
Because.
D) After all its what some people just want, because theres really no logic about behaving like a sex puppet, then claiming to have negative feelings about that later.

Their getting treated exactly as they present themseves as wanting to be treated. And somewhere in "the good book" which is read by "Honest folk", it does say something about "do unto others......." And oh my.... how well they like being done. ;)

lol!

9to9
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 8
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:24:52 AM
Because sex is a seedy thing, kept "under wraps" and considered a discreet anonymous thing by many.

Or maybe they're afraid to show you in public where other guys would be drooling over you, or vice versa-! Personally, I love being out in public with my woman. Let other guys drool all they want...I'VE got her, they don't.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:59:27 AM
I'll give you an example...

Guy contacts girl online. Initiates face to face meeting. They are physically opposites... he's thin, she's a bit on the thicker side. The sex is good, really good. That's all they have together. He won't take her out because his friends don't know that he likes bigger girls or they've teased him about it in the past, so he keeps that part of himself hidden from them.

Or there's an age difference.

Or they are different ethnicities.

Or one of them is disabled.

Or one of them is married and they live in a small town.

Or...

The sex is good, really good.

We, as humans, are generally driven by things that make us feel good.

I agree with you OP. I don't have sex with people I won't be seen in public with.
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 10
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:00:17 AM
Will for me I'm a big ugly guy and I have one eye right in the middle of my head, I look like a Purple People Eater, but I'm a woman eater..I'm great in bed but too ugly to be seen in public with I don't mind that women treat me crummy they are not that way when we are alone and sometimes they slip me a bill for some extra tongue work..
 backcheck
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 11
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:59:36 AM
Went to college with some guys like that, they went after large unattractive women saying they were like mopeds, fun to ride but you don't want to be seen on one. One said he did that because the unattractive and large ones worked harder in bed....because they had to. I couldn't do it.

Some are just looking for a place to bust a nut, and they don't want anything else.

I'm married to a hottie and love to show her off. I'll take her anywhere, anytime, plus I've got a tongue thats 10" long and I've learned to breath through my ears. I'm not just going to had out that tallent to just anyone.

If you are in the situation of being used....it takes two to tango. He or she can't use you unless you let them.
 iloveshoes2
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 12
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:14:15 AM
I have never been ashamed to be seen with someone in public. But there was one guy I used for sex. It was SPECTACULAR! Maybe the best ever, but his personality was seriously boring. I could only stand to hear him talk dirty to me. Every other time he spoke, I wanted to shoot myself in the head.
 coldlogic
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 13
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:31:42 AM
because some ppl get that desperate and bored , they will have sex with anything that moves
 sxysingle
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 14
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:37:01 AM
It's such a shame that this happens but it does.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 15
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:43:43 AM
Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public?


I could live with that. It's far better than being good for nothing. And I like sex. Sure, I may want more, but would have to decide if I'm likely to get it! Fortunately, this isn't a decision I need to make, and hopefully it won't ever be.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 16
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 12:35:42 PM
OK, there are four choices here...

a) would have sex with, would be seen in public with
b) would have sex with, would not be seen in public with
c) would have sex with, would be caught dead with in public
d) would have sex with, would not be caught dead with in public

The first two aren't morbid so I would stick with one of those. I'm not planning on who I have sex with based on my dead body being seen in public. That's creepy.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 17
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 1:23:28 PM


Msg: 3 -- A guy is perfectly willing to have sex with a woman he's not
particularly attracted to; doesn't respect; and doesn't feel
compatible with,


Wow, a BLATANT overgeneralization of men if I have EVER seen one. I
have NEVER had sex with ANY woman who would cause me embarrassment in
public. If she shows GENUINE desire for me AND if she AROUSES me, THEN
she is **NO** source of shame to me. The woman whom I find attractive
in such a way can NEVER be a source of shame. If we satisfy each other
intimiately, she deserves PRAISE, not shame. If she has shortcomings,
that remains PRIVATE. BUT, the fact that she may remain my woman
reverts to her PRAISE and may, to her possible embarrassment, become
PUBLIC. What I expose of such a woman is my PRAISE. If she has no
praise due, she is no longer my woman. My LACK of desire for her will
NOT be public, it will simply dangle in the wind without comment.



The thinking is: why be seen with a person you have nothing in common
with and don't value?


MY thinking is a bit more SELFISH than that. MY thought circles more
around "Why should I WASTE my time with a woman with whom I have
nothing in common and whose personality I don't value?" After all, I
search for MY happiness and enjoyment, NOT for the edification of the
general public.



Some women think like that too, but probably less frequently.


I doubt it. From personal experience, accurate or not, I have seen
MORE women place an inordinately high value on the social
acceptability on her mate than I have seen on an equivalent basis with
the men. Women SEEM to be FAR more SOCIALLY conscious of their
position in society than men.



Most guys grow out of that, though.


Most HUMANS grow out of that, regardless of gender. Most HUMANS, as
they grow older, eventually realize that COMPATIBILITY is at issue
MORE than ANYTHING else.



As one matures, one tends to want a woman who's great for sex and
great to be with in general.


Allow me to MISquote you to gain a bit of perspective:

"As one matures, one tends to want someone who's great for sex and
great to be with in general." This is particularly true for one who
searches for a Long-Term, possibly LIFE-TIME Relationship. Narrowing
this down, I WANT SOMEONE COMPATIBLE WITH ME!

OK, I changed your quote and then added some. But, I CHALLENGE you to
change one WHIT of my previous statement in ANY effort to validate
YOUR stance. If you can't, please state so. I PERSONALLY believe
COMPATIBILITY is the ESSENCE of ANY relationship, whether short-term
OR long-term.
 blondie900
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 18
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 1:25:03 PM
Basically because some men are pigs ( I said some not all) and some women do the same thing. Sometime's people just suck and are shallow and ashamed and if that's the case then why the hell are you with them? I would not be with someone who made me feel ashamed, I would just show them the door.
 TallDarkPassionate
Joined: 5/13/2009
Msg: 19
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 1:36:53 PM
Because there are several levels of attraction and connection.

There is attraction and connection on the physical level, there is attraction and connection on an intellectual level, and there is attraction and connection on an emotional level.

For me the physical connection is the easiest one to find, but that doesn't mean I want to spend time and money on her outside of the bedroom. I wish more women would spend as much time and effort on how emotionally and intellectually attractive they are to men as they spent on how physically attractive they are. Maybe then I'd find more women that I would be proud to be seen in public with.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 20
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 2:08:46 PM

Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public?


Never had this problem, but then, outside is one of my fav places for sex, and most outsides are in public.


If you are ashamed to be seen in public with them, why would you have sex with them?


Sorta already covered this above, but maybe I should 'splain. "Having sex", as that banal contemporary phrase is mostly used, is only about 10% of my having sex, which is more of a continuum of intimacy. Where ever we happen to be, the continuum doesn't break, even though the genitals are temporarily uncoupled, or we are partially or fully clothed, or we are out of visual range of each other.
On the other hand, if we happen to be somewhere between the naked interlocked genital place, and the over-the-horizon outta range place, in other words, side by side in view of other humans, then my affection for you, and I hope yours for me, is gonna be, uh, obvious to the onlookers. Yep, affection is one of the good things that humans do, and I no more believe in reining that in than I would tolerate limits on free speech. I live on the edge with my words, and I'm gonna want to get to the same place with my body, and hers, where ever we are. Kinda like seeing how much we can get away with and still get to heaven.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 21
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 2:13:20 PM
Because sometimes, the dumbest people are spectacular in bed and will do anything. It is the ultimate torture and pleasure.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 22
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:05:01 PM
I have no idea why a person would have sex with someone with whom they wouldn't be seen in public. If I was ashamed to be seen in public with him, I certainly wouldn't be having sex with him. Yuck!!
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 23
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/27/2009 8:17:41 AM

Wow, a BLATANT overgeneralization of men if I have EVER seen one.


Nope. Men will often have sex with women they wouldn't introduce to their families and wouldn't want their friends to know about. It's common, especially amongst younger guys. Very common.



But, I CHALLENGE you to
change one WHIT of my previous statement in ANY effort to validate
YOUR stance. If you can't, please state so. I PERSONALLY believe
COMPATIBILITY is the ESSENCE of ANY relationship, whether short-term
OR long-term.


Look at any high school or college campus, and you'll see this kind of thing go on all the time, especially among the athletes and fraternity bros. Don't know why you're so strident in your rebuttal----I think it's common knowledge that most guys, when they are young and immature, will have sex with girls they wouldn't want to go public with. Yes, guys in their teens and early twenties do care what their friends think. There are even some men older than that who care about it. That's the norm. Fortunately, most guys grow out of it.

The only guys who don't go through this phase are probably guys who have fewer options to begin with.
 dezertseeker
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 24
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/27/2009 8:57:43 AM
Damn what ever happened to "Discretion"? If a chick wanted to jump my bones and wanted discretion then her wish is my command. Or was this a trick question.
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 25
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/27/2009 11:47:59 AM
Usually when this happens I don't want to see them again period.
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