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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:02:48 PM | I'm relatively new to the dating scene and also with intimate relationships, i.e., I haven't lived with a boyfriend, the longest relationship I've had began after 30 and lasted a little over a year. I'm interested in knowing from men and women:
What is the longest amount of time you've been monogamous without cheating... breaking up... ever having sex with someone else?
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
What say you? | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:13:30 PM | In a relationship, 10 years... and could have gone the rest of my life.
Not in a relationship (abstinant), 5 yrs, 2+ yrs (after my separation), various and assorted months here and there as well.
I've been in a relationship that we both cheated... it lasted 3.5 yrs, two planned weddings (neither of which happened)... so not sure if your theory is accurate. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:18:48 PM | I was monogamous for 6 years, could have gone forever. I don't cheat in any relationship, and I like it that way. Monogamy is a good thing, and I like the fact that I am in a solid, monogamous relationship now. Don't want it any other way.
Beth | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:21:43 PM | | I too for the length of my marriage was faithful.... 10 yrs... some may have a difficult time with it but I don't really believe that it's impossible to abstain either... it's not the simple lustful act of wanting sex only in my little opinion... it's more the taking the easy short term way out for self esteem issues that people cheat.... unless you are a sex addict.... | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:24:05 PM | | I was monogamous for 21 years.... never even thought about cheating. I don't think I could ever do that... | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:31:50 PM | | In every relationship I have been in, I have been monogamous and completely faithful. Never have cheated, and I don't think I ever can. Find it much more to my taste to break things off if I find someone other than my SO attracts me completely... | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:39:02 PM | 8 years for me and I would have continued to do so had he been willing to get some help with some glaring issues that were damaging us as a couple and as a family.
I'm in control of my sex instinct. It doesn't control me. Although, when I give myself permission it's hella fun to pretend I have no control LMAO!
Oh and I've been faithful in all of my relationships except once. I was young and foolish. It was never an option I'd take again. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 8:59:36 PM | | 15 years, and could have gone forever. IMO if you are wanting to cheat, the relationship is basically over, so either end it straight up, or fix it, and keep it in your pants until then. While I have a decent drive, I also have self-control. Do the right thing. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 9:22:19 PM | Always monogomous in a committed LTR (where it was out in the open "we are exclusive.") Always will be.
Twelve years for me, and would have been fine that way for longer. Even when we were "on again off again." I was getting enough to satisfy me from him. He eventually met someone else and we moved on. I went three years totally celibate after that. I see no reason to cheat if you are both getting what you need, otherwise time to go anyway. There is much more to a relationship than sex (tho it's great lol).
If you want multiple partners, then just be up front with them and they with you, and be grownups. IMO don't do something you can't stick to, and hurt someone in the process. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 10:11:12 PM | | I have been married twice and never cheated. I have only cheated during a relationship once, however my gf was off in another state doing the same thing and got mad at me. 1st marriage lasted 4 years. 2nd marriage lasted almost 10 years. I prefer monogamy as it is allot safer and easier than lying all the time. I went 3 years abstaining once. I don't think that abstaining is a foreshadowing of their ability to be faithful, but I wouldn't discount it either. Hope this helps. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 10:37:30 PM | | Met my ex husband in 1985 and was with him until I kicked him out 2005. 20 years of my being faithful. Mental illness, my ex husband's, is what ruined our marriage. I think every marriage is different and every reason for splitting up is different even if it involves an affair, that is just a symptom of other problems. | |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 10:48:39 PM | My longest relationship was 8 years and I never would have cheated on him, no matter what. I've never cheated in any relationship I've been in. It's just not in my character to do so.
The length of time you can will be faithful is in no way tied to the length of time you can remain celibate between relationships. I've always been a monogamous person. The longest I've been celibate as an adult is 2 1/2 years. I could easily be monogamous for my entire life. I have no desire to be with anyone else but the man in my life. Period. It isn't even a fleeting thought. It just would never happen. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 2:06:07 AM | | In any relationship, I've never cheated. My longest relationship was 8years. Longest period of abstinence was 5years. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 3:01:09 AM | In any relationship that I've had as an adult I have been monogamous which would mean not cheating or having sex with someone else.
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
I honestly can't see a correlation between the two. One has nothing to do with the other. That would be akin to saying those that don't have sex when they are between relationships have little to no sex drive. One has nothing to do with the other. | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| Monogamy Service
Posted: 5/27/2009 3:39:39 AM |
What is the longest amount of time you've been monogamous without cheating... breaking up... ever having sex with someone else?
Just over 21 years... until she cheated on me and I dumped her azz...
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
I don't see how the two tie in together in any way.. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 5:02:07 AM | | Over 25 years! My ex husband - we met when I was 16 years old and separated/divorced when I was turning 41. I never touched another man that whole time - even though there were opportunities and desires! I was MARRIED! I made a commitment and stuck to it until there was no choice but to leave the marriage! | |
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ndulj
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Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 17 | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 5:07:17 AM | | 21 years followed by 18 months of celibacy post divorce. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 6:16:52 AM | 10 years, says I. Might have lasted 20, had she lived up to her end of the bargain.
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
I fail to see any distinct correlation between the two, unless we're talking about a sex addict. In other words, having a few healthy flings between committed relationships, is hardly an indicator of one's inability to maintain fidelity. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 6:34:02 AM | | The relationship I'm in right now has been 8 years and counting with no cheating on my part. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 7:07:59 AM | Monogamy and a long term relationship go hand in hand. Simple as that.
I could never cheat.
I don't go around having sex with other people while I'm with someone. Well, unless she wants a threesome. LOL!
My longest relationship? Over 2 years... was going to ask her to marry me... until I caught her cheating. LOL!
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
I don't get it. How do those things have anything to do with each other?
I am not one to just go sleeping around. Yeah, I've made dumb choices in the past, and been used from time to time for sex. But, that's life. :p
If you're in a relationship, you're faithful.
If you're not in a relationship, then what you do is your own choice.
Do you think that if someone's not in a long term relationship, they're not allowed to have sex?
Do you think that someone who might sleep around a bit while they're single, can't be faithful?
I don't see how those are tied.
A good person is faithful ALWAYS.
Cheaters will cheat, always. It's simply in their nature. Some do it because they enjoy to, others do it because they can't help themselves. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 7:29:07 AM | | 13 years and I've never cheated on anyone. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 7:33:05 AM | | It was 20 years and I never cheated. When she did, pooff, it was over. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 7:35:11 AM | was married for 5 1/2 years, never cheated even though she did. The longest of being celibate was 3 years after the divorce. If I was to marry again, I don't see a problem of being monogamous. If your really in love with someone, the desire the cheat is not there.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying life as well as I can  | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 7:40:05 AM | I've gone three years before in a completely monogamous relationship.
I'd also like to know if the length of time a person can be faithful is perhaps foreshadowed in their ability to restrain from having sex between relationships.
I've never seen any correlation. In fact, being in a relationship sometimes makes a person a magnet for the opposite sex. There are more opportunities to have a number of different partners when one is in a relationship than when one isn't, so being celibate while single is not a guaranteed precursor to future faithfulness. | |
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Posted: 5/27/2009 8:14:41 AM | | I've gone 25-plus years in a completely monogamous relationship. As spitfire noted, the other issue has no correlation - if I'm dating, I'm probably not going to abstain. | |
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