| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:12:43 PM | | I wanted to ask this question of the women, but they wouldn't let me post it there. Do you ever feel a little sad having to turn down so many men? I mean, there's only a few I will "take on" but most I have to pass up. After reading profile after profile, and their profiles are so nice too, really sweet, I always send a little message, but I know I am in no way interested and I let them know that politely...I haven't been on this website long, do you get used to it? Or maybe it doesn't take so long to find whatever you are looking for...here's hoping! I'm just finding this search thing a little sad. | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:42:24 PM | After reading profile after profile, and their profiles are so nice too, really sweet, I always send a little message, but I know I am in no way interested and I let them know that politely...
Well, that's positive anyways, at least you haven't been here so long you're posting how "all" us men are just liars and cheaters and... whatever jaded view some seem to have, where you are judged "evil" before they even know you...
"Half of my life I spent doing time for some other f**kers crime..."
(I'm sure you'll know what that's from  ). | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:59:02 PM | ROTFLMAO
What I find is sad is you ladies who go out with the same type of guy over and over and over and expecting the outcome to be different. You are trapped helpless in a construct of external validation.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-Albert Einstein. | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 12:13:49 AM | Nah. Not even close. On the contrary I feel quite elated when I read profiles.
It means somewhere, someone overcame his/her personal fears to give it another shot at some happiness. The details are irrelevant. What matters is that someone is reaching out, and that means....
...someone could be reaching out to me. That's a reason to smile. | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 12:54:11 AM | Yes, I tend to find the process of being rejected continuously to be depressing...
But that's the way life is, personally I just look at profiles now, I enjoy reading about people, having a laugh every now and then...
I don't bother contacting many people, if I were it imagine myself as an attractive woman getting oh so many e-mails a day, "hey what's up babe, wanna bone?" I think I would get pretty damn sick of it myself...
I figure eventually women think that's all guys are after, having it happen to them so much.
Even if it's not what we are looking for, some will write us off by assumption...
Some idiot always ruins it for everyone else.
In any case, you can't spend your life worrying about every single guy facing loneliness, it's no one's burden to bear.
And in the end it clearly only brings you undeserved sadness.
We'll get over it.
But I don't suggest you do what you have been doing, if I were to find out a woman was expressing interest in me because she feels sorry for me, I think that would be worse than no one talking to me at all.
Anywho, that's all I have to say I guess. | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 1:04:00 AM | What's the difference in looking at someones profile or walking by a person in the streets and not saying anything but taking a glance at them? There's nothing sad about it. It's life. You just get to learn a little bit more about them before you keep on "walking." If you try to please everybody that you come across you're going to be tired lol.
I sometimes send people messages that I know aren't going to be interested in having a relationship with me (older women, women in other states/countries) to just talk and give them a compliment of their looks/profile. I have had some great conversations with people and have learned many things about life and relationships, and most importanty got to meet very interesting people. | |
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Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 15 | |
| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 1:12:53 AM | The alternative to trying is giving up and I am in not going to sit at home watching TV as a form of social interaction...except when I do a pay-per-view that is ;-)
It is far better to try and fail in the relationship game than to never try and be imprisoned by your own insecurities. Many folk on this site don't have a picture up for many reasons but I bet the real one is that they have yet to take the final step up to the plate and say 'Hi Everyone!', you are putting yourself 'out there' warts and all and for all those folk who did..GOOD FOR YOU! and for those still to do it...JUMP IN!
POF may not be perfect but at least it has me here to make it that way ;-) If this site manages to match up just a couple of people it'll have been worth it don't you think? | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 1:30:14 AM | Sad having to pass up on guys? How about being the one's passed up on - I sincerely think that it's more difficult for men on here than women to find a match, get a response, etc.
Good on you for sending a little message. I think it's much better than getting by a computer telling you "Read" (and then nothing in response you what was sent), or "Read - Deleted".
I think people get use to rejection the more it happens, sadly, we all become more callous whether we want it or not.
Searching might be sad but I hope you find who you're looking for... I hear the view is great from up there
AK | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 2:17:51 AM | A couple of things I think you come to realize pretty quickly:
1) There are good reasons why a lot of single people are still single! :)
2) When you do find someone who's worth the time and attention, they truly do stand out from the crowd, and they totally justify your effort finding them.
Good luck! | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 10:41:19 AM | I understand the sentiment. The core message that you send is, I'm kind and empathetic toward all men, but I'm looking for a select someone or a select few." We all understand that coming to a site like POF, and understand that women, or men, will not find EVERYONE attractive or interesting, so, in a way, your message is redundant.
Sometimes, messages like yours can be interpreted as a form of boasting. "Hey, look at me, I'm getting so many hits that I'm even having to be "mean" to some of the men!" I know  that you're not wanting to send that message. All I'm saying is that your message could be interpreted as that.
Women, and men, are getting "interest" e-mails on this site, so I reckon that that means that "meanness" is being projected both ways. Don't see it as that. So long as the "you're sweet but I'm not interested," response is gentle and courteous, I'm fairly confident that the level of "hurt" is minimal.
When I go fishing, and throw the little fishes back in the water, or throw the occasional tennis shoe or boot back in the water, I'm sure that they know that I mean no disrespect to them. The little fishies, especially, are grateful for their second chance of swimming the ocean (and hopefully they did not get too injured by the experience). The tennis shoe or boot, I'm not sure if they even care. | |
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| Don't you think it's a little sad reading profile after profile...
Posted: 5/27/2009 10:53:00 AM | | Honestly, I don't feel bad about having to say no to guys who saying things like, "hey baby" and using some sort of lingo that I don't think it respectful towards me. But then again, its likely because of my profile. If I wanted a fling, and expressed myself that way, then I guess that would be acceptable. I don't think rejection is ever easy to give, or to receive. I think the key is being respectable. There are many men I have found nice or attractive in life that I have not pursued and accepted because of some important things to me, such as they were a smoker, or said something in their profile that implied they were into flings, etc. | |
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