| responding to kids
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:37:00 PM | | I've noticed that there are a ton of women on here who mention their kids in their profile (not just checking "yes" in the "has children" box). So I'm wondering what kind of reaction do/would you get should a guy mention about your kids in a message, especially an introductory message? | |
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MizAnj
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Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 2 | |
| responding to kids
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:47:39 PM | I would prefer someone not inquire as to my child at all in an introductory message.
After that, it all depends on comfort level that is established. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:49:10 PM | | Well I am a mother and I think it's important that I put that out there rather than just a check box. My kids are a huge part of my life. Though most guys do not inquire about them unless we've been chatting for a while. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:00:39 AM | You start chatting with me and start asking questions about my teenage daughter you best be careful what you ask or I am going to think you are a pervert.
As for when the kids are small, and taking up a majority of your time, yeah, it is perfectly within reason to talk about the kids, eventually. But be careful. There are a lot of us protective mommies out there.
Beth | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:17:42 AM | i would go along with beth...
a couple of generic , how many..? how old ..? type questions is fine.. but dont ask too many or some mums would get the wrong idea and it can come across as a little creepy...
interested is good, over interested sends your hackles up... | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 12:23:35 AM | think most people would be interested in the woman or man in the profile and apart from knowing their rough ages and sex, the main interest would be on the adult.
more like are they babies, children or teenagers, if the relationship gets to the stage where you all meet up fair enough, asking too many details suggests that you prefer the kids to the adult, which is not good.... | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:41:01 AM | | I've NEVER had a guy ask about my kids. Depends on what he wants to know and why, if he did ask. If he's trying to get a feeling for how old they are or what the custody arrangement is then I think that's perfectly fine. Not all guys what to get involved with a woman that has young kids. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:49:25 AM | I am going in another direction. Overprotective Mom, paranoid..I don't care.
If you have young children and are on a dating site or just dating. I think to put them out there to much is asking for danger.
There are to many bad people in the world that seek that single moms.
To answer your question. I would be put off completely if the message mentioned my kid or kids. Warning  | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:02:22 AM | If anyone asked about my child in a first message they would be shut down very quickly. The man dates me not my child. No one meets him anyway unless the relationship is of a serious nature. That is very few and far between. I think two men in seven years that is after quite a bit of time has passed.
He might be 16 but he does not need to meet every date... like there is so many, LOL. Anyway he can be a bit over protective of me, kinda funny.
~Charmed~ | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:08:49 AM | Angelic I agree with you completely. Children don't ask to have their photos up on a ''dating'' website. And it's not necessary. As long as you say you are a parent, that should be enough. Most times it will come up in later conversations not at the very beginning. Would be weird if it did.
I've had guys tell me they masterbate to my photos. That creeped me out, imagine if a child was in my photo with me.
I've run across two guys on dating sites who were also listed on our city's sexual predator list. One I actually went on a date with and found him on there later. Another was pointed out to me. The one I went on a date with was around 40 and had had sex with a teen under 16. At the time my daughter was 16. So that was enough to freak me out.
I also went on a date with a guy on THIS Site. At the time I had a photo up of me and my daughter when she was around 16. After the guy went out with me, he asked if he could meet my daughter. He wanted to marry her, he thought she was amazingly beautiful and wanted to take care of her the rest of her life.
After that. No more photos of kids for me. I won't even post up friend's photos, since again they didn't ask to have their photo here. It's about privacy. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:37:45 AM | not everyone is being creepy - there are some that just don't know better and they're trying to make conversation
with that said....it's a turn off for me. either they don't know better, or they're being creepy. either way, it isn't something i'd enjoy | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 9:34:59 AM | | ask about the kids after u get to know her, make sure she is comfortable w/ it, talking about ur kids w/ some women can be a touchy subject at first | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 9:40:29 AM | | I don't really think that it's a big deal to mention the kids in the profile. I have one sentence in mine that mentions that I have kids. However, I don't think it's a good thing to ask about it right away. I mean, after all, you don't even know this person and you are asking a major personal question when you ask about a child. I think that's for later in the conversations to talk about. Everything depends on the individuals and the situation though. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 9:50:09 AM | | Personally I would think you were a pervert because you are here to date me not my kid. Let's leave the discussion of our kids for when, and if, we meet in person. | |
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| responding to kids
Posted: 5/28/2009 11:06:44 AM | | Don't mention in the first email. But I think it's okay to bring it up after a few good email or phone conversations. Some men may be okay with dating a woman with 1 kid. But may not be interested in a woman with multiple kids or young kids. | |
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