| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:09:28 PM | Im a 19 year old single mom of 1.
I dated this guy for about 3 years lived wiht him for 4 moths and loved him more than my own life. Everything was great and we were maddly in love ( I believed). In June 2008 I found out I was pregnant right after I moved in wiht him. After that I dont know what happened to him. He just grew apart and pushed me aside. He never talked about the baby or wanted o be involve with the baby stuff, I dont know what really happened to him!
Time went by and he just stopped being the guy I knew, all he wnated was sex and never listen to me or say I love you any more. He started calling me ****, monster, fat, things of that kind... At the end he broke up wiht me and treated me like a stranger pregnant girl who was going to the college he was going to. He never asked for the baby or even care when she was born. He desapear until this month. Is being 6 months since the last time I saw him, and I still dont understand what could have happened wiht him! He always said how much he wanted to have a family and how much he wanted to get married after all.
I would like a man or a smart woman who actually understand guys to explain to me what happened to him! did he actually loved me?
Please dont write rude stuff, this is hard on me still... | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:16:01 PM | He may have loved you on some level. He's just one of those guys who cannot bring himself to face his responsibilities. This probably happened way too soon for him (and you). Unfortunately, you don't have the option of just fading away.
Chin up. Be the best mom you can be and eventually your dreams will unfold before you. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:16:45 PM | I'm sure this is hard on you and I feel for you, as I was a young mom myself. I think he wasn't ready to be a father and didn't want all that responsibility.
He may come back in the future and want to be a dad. He might never look back. Do the best you can for you and your child and don't get pregnant again until you're older and ready. Heck, I had one child at 17 and I was never again ready for a baby. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:17:26 PM | | The simple truth is that he did not want a baby and did not take very kindly to forced fatherhood. This is the reason he pushed you aside as soon as he found out you were pregnant. Birth control works if you actually use it. Human error is the reason it fails. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:21:00 PM | | Honestly? No he did not love you. You were just a sex toy to him and when you became pregnant he wasn't man enough to take responsibility for his own actions. Never and I do mean NEVER love someone more than yourself. You're setting yourself for a major heartache if you do that. I'm not being cruel or mean when I say this but I think a rise in maturity level on both parties is in order. Really think hard before you get into another relationship. There is a great quote that I love to share. "Never make someone a priority while allowing yourself to be their option." | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:25:54 PM | I'm just glad I could help!
And please stop mailing me, your way way to young for me, sorry! | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:27:30 PM | | you didnt do nothing, you are just rude... keep your dumb comments to yourself... | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:27:35 PM | | It sounds like one good thing came out of you... er it all. I'd let go of trying to understand him. Just accept that he's well, a loser. Hopefully he'll man up about his responsibilities. As for whether or not he loved you, do you feel loved now? Should your baby feel loved by him? | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:36:49 PM | Yes, he probably did love you. You dated him a long time. Sometimes, parenthood scares men and they cannot handle it. It sounds like he is very immature. You and your precious daughter do not need him.
Sending positive energy your way. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:38:22 PM |
you didnt do nothing
I hope you realize that what you actually said was the poster "did do something". | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:38:42 PM | | OP, I have a question I've always wanted to ask girls in this position. They're pregnant, with a bad guy who treats them like crap. Why did you have the baby? | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:39:29 PM | OP... Very simply:
You got involved with a jerk.
File for child support.
Take good care of your baby.
Hopefully the next guy you get involved with won't be a jerk... | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:39:30 PM | Goga..his distancing behavior once you became pregnant was a way of him saying that he really didn't want to have any responsibility in it. It was big time immature of him, yeah, but he's probably around your age you said? so that's not something completely unusual for someone who's 'at' that space in life.
You're taking on a big thing little mama and it's going to be rough. But you sound sincere and I get the impression that you want to do what's right for your baby so I commend you for caring to examine this.
Do you have a good support system around you? I hope so...because that means a lot for you and the baby.
I can't tell you why his feelings changed. The mind of the teenage male is a very hard thing to figure out, heck ANY teenage mind is hard to figure out and yes yes I know you're adults but still...you're just newly emerging here.
Encourage him to come visit the baby but I wouldn't expect wonders from him. But relying on your personal support system will help alleviate the burdens you're facing now and hopefully will also offer you some space to have time for yourself to do the things you enjoy like spending time with friends and family that care about you.
And be careful !!! Teenage moms often get themselves in the same boat all over again. Please don't be one of those casualties. Be smart! | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:42:55 PM | "It was big time immature of him"
This is what I don't get. Is it immature for just the boy who doesn't want forced fatherhood (as Annie said) or is it immature for the girl who didn't take the morning after pill.
I'm genuinely confused on this issue. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:47:36 PM | | Chris you're making a baby out to sound like a mistake that can just be discarded. A baby is a human being. She has my utmost respect for carrying the baby. That shows maturity. Discarding it in a way you have suggested is not mature. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:51:18 PM | Thank you,
Is not the babies fault what happened, she is made and I wasnt going to get rid of her... she was in me... she is my blood and my child... | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:51:55 PM | | I think you misunderstand him, perhaps you both wanted something different and he merely facing the choices decided. So he chose to move on, even knowing you had a child that was his. This is how we learn, both he an you. Good fortunes to you though truly. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:54:09 PM | | Exactly right, goga. A child is never a mistake and should never suffer. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 8:58:57 PM | Your 19...so I'm guessing he's about the same age.
Yeah, boys that age are pretty good about saying the right things, but in the end, he really has no concept of what life is like. What he did like (and perhaps love in his own way) was playing house and having fun and such with a cute girl...no real restrictions, just college and fun.
But a baby freaks out everybody...h3ll, most guys when they are in a marriage and wanting a baby can still be freaked out by the news. So, given the appearance of an option, the more immature ones will behave just as he did. In some ways, count your blessings...as his behavior indicates he probably doesn't have what it takes to mature from being a guy...a boy...to becoming a man. The sad thing is, it will be years before he gets it.
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:11:19 PM | Chris just so your no longer are confused and to make sure no one else is...
Chris listen careful and read every line... Do you understand that You Chris are not only an idiot you excell in imaturity brain dead statis?
The boy moved in with the girl,they played house and the boy left the girl alone to nurture the garden they started together...hmmm some how Chris this boy helped plant the seed AND yes you might be confused,not an excuse...
Oh what is that saying Red says... Oh HEY DUMBASS!
If you plant the seed the garden is half yours! | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:14:58 PM | That's what you get for asking a boy to do a man's job.
He's still a kid who's not ready for the responsibility...that HE CO-CREATED. Don't know how you're going to get this "man-child" to love you again, but he played...he's got to pay. | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:29:51 PM | He probably did love you, he probably freaked out. A baby is a life-long decision and many people (not just men) have issues when the hard reality sinks in: this is forever. He most likely had NO clue what to do so he did all he could think of. It's best you don't worry about it ~ wondering about it just keeps it alive within yourself. Good luck to ya.  | |
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| I still dont get it...
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:43:42 PM | | you should definately go after Child Support.. Nothing upsets me more than dead beats!!! | |
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