| Irish Bee?
Posted: 5/31/2009 12:29:33 AM | How do you know if a Bee is Irish?
Cause he has a good buzz on! Hahahaha
(I made this joke up at lunch on an out door patio today. There was some flowers and a bee.)
I know... best joke ever right. Gag  | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:42:03 PM | what's the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?
one less drunk!  | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:04:27 PM | | Good one you rule!! | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:11:47 AM | i didn't actually think that was funny it just wasn't that not funny  | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:32:10 AM | OK, if were doing "Irish" gags
Spot the bride at the Irish wedding , she's the one wearing white wellington boots.
Find the Irish chap on the oil platform, he's out throwing bread to the helicopters.
Captain on an Irish ship? Gold braid round the top of his "wellies".
A word of caution however, the Irish can be very sensitive to this type of jest. Only last week I told one of these Irish jokes in a pub and a chap called Murphy went for me with a razor. Luckily it wasn't plugged in ...... | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/22/2009 12:42:21 PM | i am 95% irish and they don't offend me one bit | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 6/22/2009 2:34:32 PM | what they call a irishman who sleeps out side in the garden
PADDY O FURNITURE | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:49:31 AM | irish fella walks in a shoe shop can i have that pairof tortoise shoes in the window size 7
he put them on bought them took him 4 hours to walk out of the shop
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------unluckiest man in the world he had no arms and no legs and was swimming the channel and got cramp in the ears he got picked up by a boat the titanic
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:27:16 AM | | Why did god create alcahol........so the Irish wouldnt take over the world. | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:17:01 PM | Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman. Each orders one beer. Three flys fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man's beer.
The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says "tutto e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the beer.
The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it's wings, shakes it while yelling
"Cough it up, you wee theivin' **stard!" | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:08:37 AM | a irish pilot in his light aircraft crashed into a graveyard
the irish police found 800 bodies
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------what do you call a irish spider
paddy long legs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------paddy says to murphy we are gonna rob a bank tomorrow so put something on your face
the next daypaddys outside the bank all masked up murphy comes along looking the same as yesterday
paddy says i thought i told you to put som ething on your face
i did murphy says AFTERSHAVE | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:24:19 PM | | whats all this irish jokery going on here? 100% irish here : ? he burned his lips on the tailpipe | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:25:51 AM | An recent Irish immigrant to Toronto found a local pub to call his own . Every day he would enter and sit at the same spot at the bar and order 3 whisky shots. He would raise one in a silent toast and drink it and do the same with the other two. After a few weeks the bartender had noticed his pattern and asked the Irishman what it stood for.
The Irishman told the bartender that he was raising a toast to his two brothers back in Ireland. The bartender took this at face value and continued to serve the Irishman his three whisky shots every day for a couple more weeks until one day the Irishman sat at the bar and only ordered two shots.
The bartender, thinking the worst, ask the Irishman if there was anything wrong with his brothers.
The Irisman replied that "my brothers are fine, I just decided to give up drinking". | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/22/2009 4:08:58 PM | Paddy and Murphy jokes...
Paddy and Murphy are sitting in a bar when Tom and Pete come in with a stringof fish. They hand the fish to the barman who gives them free drinks all night, curious Paddy and Murphy ask Tom and Pete how they got the fish. So Tom and Pete explain that one of them held the other upside down over a bridge by the ankles, when a fish came between the upside down persons hands he yelled and was pulled upwards with another fish for the landlord. At the end of the night Paddy and Murphy are going over a Bridge and they decide on a fish each for supper, so Paddy stands with Murphy's ankles in his hands. Both are knackered and wait for nearly half an hour, suddenly Murphy shouts "pull me up, pull me up!" Paddy shouts back, "Have you got a fish", Murphy says back to him "No, there's a train coming!"
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site, one day theres a terrible accident and Paddy is beheaded by a crane. The body is a mangle of bones and blood, the head though needs identifying and since they have no one else they ask Murphy to do the job, all they left of him though are his shoes and his head, which they place at either end of a sheet on the morgue table. The mortician asks Murphy, "Is this your friend?" Murphy looks relieved and says "God no, Paddy was a lot taller than this man"
Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are on a skyscraper building site, they work right at the top and every day since work began they get the same ham sandwiches for lunch, they are all sick and tired of the same crap sandwiches that their wives make for them and so they sign a pact, if they get ham sandwiches again they will jump off the building, leaving a note for their wives explaining their plight. Sure enough the following day they open their lunchboxes to find ham sandwiches, so they write their suicide notes and jump. Hours later their distraught wives are reading the notes, the Englishmans wife says "If only he'd said, i'd have done something different" The Scotsmans wife agrees "Aye, if only he'd a said summat", the irishmans wife looks perplexed, "I don't understand" she says "He made his own sandwiches".
Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are lost in the desert when they find a magic lamp, out pops a genie and says "I am the genie of the magic slide, you will go on my magic slide and you will shout whatever you want, what you shout is what you land in" so the Englishman steps forward, jumps down the magic slide and shouts "Howay the Toon" and hey presto, he's back in Shearers Bar in Newcastle, surrounded by gorgeous lasses drinking Brown Ale. The Scotsman goes down the magic slide next shouting "Aye Bonnie Scotland" and sure enough he lands in a wee bar close to a Scottish Loch, surrounded by gorgeous women drinking Whisky and eating haggis. The Irishman thinks this is going ot be great, he jumps on the slide and shouts... "Weeeeeeee!"
An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman have emigrated to America during the 1840's and they go west to find good wives and settle somewhere. They are unlucky however as they are caught by native american indians, they are taken to the village and tied to a pole. The chief comes along and rubs the englishmans skin, "ah your skin make good canoe, you have one last request" so the Englishman asks to spend an hour in the bed of the best looking girl in the village, sure enough an hour later he's happy enough to die by being skinned alive. The Chief then feels the Scotsmans skin "Oh your skin make better canoe, you have one last request" so the Scotsman asks for a mighty feast to eat before he is skinned alive and the indians do this for him. Lastly the Chief comes to the Irishman, feeling his skin he jumps with joy "Your skin make best canoe ever, you have one resquest" so the Irishman thinks a while then says "I'd like a fork please" the chief is bemused but gives him a fork, the irishman then starts stabbing himself all over shouting "Your not making a canoe out of me!"
God I love the Irish! | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:45:12 AM | hahahaha..... | |
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| Irish Bee?
Posted: 7/25/2009 12:56:47 AM | whats the difference between an irishman and a scotsman ?
an irishman prays on his knees and a scotsman preys on his nieghbors...... | |
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