| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:31:00 PM | When we saw some one at the first time, the butterflies suddenly fly in our stomachs. We call that is love chemistry. I am sure we all experience that before. It is such a wonderful feeling. But why we have such feeling? My guess is there is some chemical changing in our brain when we saw this person, could be male or female. But what is the trigger to make this happen? Can we make this happen? Or it is a sort of magic thing. We never know when and how it will happen. Any thought? | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:33:07 PM | My best guess is that its the immediate surge of blood flowing through our veins and the adrenaline rushing around firing neurons and hitting information overload... culminating in the fluttering in our stomachs...
a.k.a. ~ butterflies
But that's just a guess...  | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:39:02 PM | The neurotransmitter phenylethylamine is responsible for feelings of lust and infatuation.
The effect of it eventually wears off because we develop a tolerance to it, a kind of neurotransmitter burnout.
When the lust/infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, the one responsible for intimate relationships: endorphins.
Low endorphins is responsible for feelings of incompleteness, and an inability to love.
Which would in turn lead to difficulty forming loving, intimate relationships when the high of lust burns off.
Which explains why some people can't form any real relationships and end things once the lust wears off, claiming the other person wasn't really their "soul mate"
It's not magic.
It's basic biology | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:44:18 PM |
When we saw some one at the first time, the butterflies suddenly fly in our stomachs. We call that is love chemistry. I saw him across a crowded dojo... She: He smiled and I felt it warm me all the way down to my toes... I basked in the glow... He: he suppressed a burp and thought through a beer induced haze, "nice rack"... I'd do her.
It takes two to simultaneously feel the heat. What it is remains a mystery especially when it's across a room or just passing by... not pheromones - too far away... possibly hip/waist ratio... hard to tell. Could be just a fluke or a chance peek into the mirrors of the soul... Nah - must be beer and horniness... sheer luck. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:06:03 PM | Love is a bond holding two people together. It is like a two part epoxy mix. There is the catalyst and the hardener. It's one step more complicated than normal adhesives only because each person has both components, that will not mix asexually but require another person.
When two people go to fall in love, they both offer and receive the pair of chemical agents that will combine to form a lasting bond. In a typical heterosexual union the effects are slightly different, especially the ratio of hardener being higher in males. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:23:37 PM | ^^^ Ding bing it, farceur, now I have that stupid "Stuck on You" song stuck in my head. And me without the solvent!
--Ms. Flis | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:44:30 PM | That's LUST honey. It's the physical biology -- the attraction.
Trigger: it's different for each one of us as we are shaped by our past experiences. Certain smells, how we define "beauty" and what is esthetically pleasing to you, nice smell, cute dimples, all that external stuff.
Can we make it happen? Well you can only control yourself and not the other person. It takes two to tango. You can try really hard but if the other person isn't really into it...might be more exciting to watch grass grow then.
I'm older than you (really trying hard here not to come across as old and bitter  ) but I've learned pfffttt to LUST as it does not sustain a long term relationship for me. Yeah sure it would be awesome to be compatible physically. We get old. We lose our hair and teeth. H311 some of us will end up in Depends.
I'm lustfully pragmatic. Yeah that's it.  | |
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alv2.0
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Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 13 | |
| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:58:25 PM | I actually wrote a research paper on this during undergrad:
It’s All About Chemistry: How the Symptoms of Those Who Experience Romantic Attraction Can Be Attributed to Oscillations in Phenylethylamine, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Serotonin in the Brain.
There are definitely neurochemical changes that take place in our brains during the different phases/types of love, let alone romantic love. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 7:11:27 PM |
25% luck
25% lust
25% madness
25% romance
I've only got 1/4 of this recipe. Anyone care to guess which fourth?
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:12:15 PM | Prolonged eye contact and physical touch starts the chemical process. A mental fantasy about the person comes to mind, infatuation sets in. Other chemicals fire off...stage when we do foolish stuff.
Oxytocin keeps us cuddly and affectionate.
Unfortunately we lack vasopressin which promotes monogamous bonds. Oh well...can't win them all.
We mentally override these feelings by avoiding the gaze of those we are not feeling attracted to. There are way more of those than there are of those we find attractive. Therein lay the magic. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:28:53 PM | Well i can't argue with what was said in Msg 4, I must say it's the most romantic thing I've ever read on POF.  | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:37:12 PM | It is simply EVOLUTION at work. We give off pheromones and receive them from the other person as a few have already mentioned. The SOLE purpose of this is to help us find a good GENETIC match. It obviously works and physical attraction obviously is only part of it. Few people are able to resist it and it normally leads to lust rather quickly. Rather addictive once one has had it with another.
The Mission Impossible is to find that Chemistry with someone you are COMPATIBLE with. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 6/1/2009 10:29:26 PM | | We are not only looking for GENETIC match, we are also looking for updating our genes. For example, if I am a short person, I hope my parter be tall. If I am fat person, I want my partner slim. I think the codes of love chemistry is in our genes. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:16:53 AM | There was a post that got deleted - gee big surprise there!
So, I wanted to post my reply to that thread here:
___________________________________________________________
The OP asked what "chemistry" was - so here's my reply.
chemistry is another word for 'lust'
No it's not. That's one of the most inaccurate lines I've seen on the boards.
Chemistry is a bonding between two people on all levels - not just physical.
she HAS to have 'chemistry' in order to bed down with him .
Another completely inaccurate statement. I know plenty of women who don’t need chemistry to sleep with someone.
Both men and women feel this chemistry thingy, just not necessarily at the same time or with each other......it happens within about 30 seconds or so of meeting
The apex of terrible and totally wrong statements.
Spark and Chemistry are two very different things, entirely.
To illustrate the difference, OP, I will give you two situations.
You hit the club one Friday night after a long week of work. You see a little something something dressed to kill, so you walk up and strike up a conversation, you talk for a few moments and feel an overwhelming sense of attraction, you laugh and joke – have a great time. That’s spark. The combination of lust and instant infatuation based more or less on physical attraction more than anything else.
You meet someone and spend time with them. As you continue to learn about each other (their values, communication skills, etc – the things that really matter) you begin to develop a bond based on intellectual, emotional, sensual attraction.
Spark is short lived – and typically dies down after you’ve slept together a couple of times.
Chemistry is lasting and deeper.
If it is this big instant connection between a man and a woman wouldn't it always be on both sides? I mean if one person feels it and the other doesn't, does that make it false? I have never felt this chemistry thing and I was wondering if any man has, so that is my main question. Have any guys out there ever felt this chemistry thing women are always talking about, or is this some kind of gender thing we as men will never get?
So, to answer the OP’s question. No – chemistry is not instant. How the hell can it be? It is something that grows over a period of time, time spent getting to know the true person, their values, their dreams, their desires, their faults, their insecurities. You can’t have chemistry after a few moments of talking to someone, e.g instantly. How the hell can you – YOU DON’T KNOW THEM.
The bottom line is simple. And, here I am going to be mean – but it’s truly how I feel and think. So if any of you take it personal I apologize in advance.
Stupid people use spark as a deciding factor to have an LTR with someone.
Intelligent, mature people know spark is short lived and while chemistry can develop down the road, know that “spark” is completely meaningless in the long term. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:27:24 AM | that's interesting...I agree chemistry and lust/spark are two completely different thing. No idea where that other post went to. Spark..well, would be the minimum for a fling, which I don't really do anymore. Chemistry ...also the minimum...must be there for an ltr..but certainly not the only thing that needs to be there.
I don't actually think chemistry can 'develop' down the road..I think that case is more that you learn to really like / respect, maybe love each other. Nothing wrong with that, but by itself, not enough for me for an ltr (though definitely need that , too). Maybe it's just not something I've seen, who knows. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:33:49 AM | | You're totally wrong. What people call "chemistry" DOES develop over time. I don't feel instant connections to people. Never will. It's a childish reaction when meeting someone in my opinion which has no real meaning. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:58:59 AM | I've only felt this once. With my first husband. I haven't felt butterflies since and I've had 3 solid relationships that went long term/serious/commitments.
I think our hormones have a lot more to do with "love" than our minds.
Maybe that's why we often realize the person we thought they were, isn't actually the person standing in front of us.
Long live hormones. But they sure do have a way of leaving us bewildered and confused. | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:08:30 AM | What you are talking about OP, is attraction that triggers your mental and physical side with hormones that want to do what you can to satisfy that attraction.
Chemistry develops from that attraction, as the two of you get to know each other much better, and have all those compatible parts that seem to mesh and fit in all the right ways.
I have had those that I am attracted to, but never developed enough chemistry that would warrant more then the occasional get together for fun and excitement; and I have had others that the chemistry was there with how we meshed, but I was not attracted to them enough to make my hormones rage, and feel the need to have them.
It becomes the combination of the two that makes the total more than the sum of the parts, and that is how relationships can blossom into potential love, and all those other things romantic novels print in their stories......
As always, looks will get my attention, but it will be brain power, and compatibility that will bring me back for more and more.......
Just my opinion..........   | |
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| What is the love chemistry?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:17:12 AM | Chemistry, simply, is how two people relate to one another.
Here's a perspective--
Ever mix bleach and ammonia?
Some people have a similar chemical reaction-toxic...it may just be
time-released.
I'm just saying. | |
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