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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Is he still in love with his ex wife?      Home login  
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 is4you
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 1
Is he still in love with his ex wife?Page 1 of 1    
Guys, how does a girl know if you are still in love with your ex; even if you claim you are not? I know the obvious signs. What are some signs that are not so obvious a girl can look for? Can a man truly love two women at the same time?
 KindredSpiritz
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 2
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Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:47:05 AM
well if he still has her picture in his wallet and on the wall, momentos of her around the house and still mentions her in conversation he's probably still in love.
But thats not a bad thing, shows he loves deep and doesnt let go easy. You just have to convince him your the one not worth ever forgetting.

Love comes when it wants and stays as long as it pleases.
 drakalich
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 3
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:55:10 AM
Yes a man can love more than one woman specialy if he has children with them. The biggest tell is when he keps all conversation with her privite or keeps you in the dark
 rockcrawler28
Joined: 5/21/2009
Msg: 4
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:01:48 AM
Like the song says "It's in his kiss"...

Seriously. If a guy is still really hung up on another woman then you'll probably be able to tell when you're romantically involved. If he talks about her often or you just get the feeling that he can't let her go your intuition is probably right. Go with your gut here, I think it'll steer you in the right direction.
 outstanding4u
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 5
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:05:14 AM
Some men can love more than one woman at a time, you should maybe ask him if he is that type of man and work from there.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 6
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Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:13:47 AM

Guys, how does a girl know if you are still in love with your ex; even if you claim you are not?

I can't say, because I'm not in love with my ex. Are you sure that you aren't just being overly sensitive/jealous? I got divorced in '91 and always maintained a good relationship with my ex, for the sake of the children. We wanted them to see that despite having differences, people can still be civil and get along. I would NEVER get back together with my ex, but a girl I used to date was still jealous of her. I think most of her jealousy came from the fact that she and her ex would fight all the time and despite the adverse affect it had on their children, couldn't put their differences behind them.

I know the obvious signs.

Do you really?? Would you call organizing birthday, graduation parties, etc. together and attending them at each others homes an "obvious" sign? Would you call working together to find/visit colleges for the kids together an "obvious" sign? Would you call being able to talk to and about an ex with ZERO sense of disdain an "obvious" sign? Would you call being at a bar and buying drinks for an ex (as well as a number of other people) all night, an "obvious" sign? Some people mistake these kinds of things or other mutual acts of kindness for being in love with an ex, when the truth is, these are the types of things that mature, well adjusted exes do. Especially when there are children involved.

Can a man truly love two women at the same time?

There are MANY different kinds of love. While I don't "love" my ex, I certainly don't wish any ill will on her. I could certainly see a man (or woman) still feeling love for their ex without actually being in love with them - especially if the breakup was recent. You really need to define the type of love before attempting to pass judgment.

I guess what I'm saying is that you need to step back and take an objective look at the situation. The last thing you want to do is mess up what could be a great relationship with a great guy, simply because of your own jealous insecurities.
 Andrea062174
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 7
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Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:26:44 AM
Been there done that. I recently dated a guy that wouldnt shut up about the Ex Wife, he had something to say everyday about her. If he's briniging her up, doesnt matter if it's good or bad comments, that means that she is on his mind. If he wont tell her that he's seeing someone, or you have to be silent while he's on the phone with her discussing the kids, look out. You gut will tell you....you may not want to believe it, but you will know.
 FunkyMonkee
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 8
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Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:42:27 AM
Above you are not correct.

Someone who never talks about their ex - especially if there are kids involved - is odd.

Just as odd as someone that is constantly talking about them.

It very much depends on the circumstances and the stage of your relationship.

Some people will not be comfortable talking about their past, others more so.

It is important to understand each others significant pasts to make good choices on a whole range of things to do with getting involved with someone else - unless you are only interested in a short term fling.

The difficulty is judging where the tipping point is, but you should be talking about your past in moderation.

Saying mentioning someone means they are on their mind is different from them being on their mind constantly, or inappropriately.

If you are not on their mind more it is an issue , but we cant read minds yet. Be very careful about projecting your own insecurities onto other people and jumping to conclusions. Talking about them every day is however a red flag for sure.

Actions speak louder than words.




If he wont tell her that he's seeing someone, or you have to be silent while he's on the phone with her discussing the kids, look out. You gut will tell you....you may not want to believe it, but you will know.


This could be for at least 2 reasons.

1/ she a fruit cake and wil ltry to make an issue out of a new partner. he is protecting you - he knows her better than you - stop being jealous and jumping to conclusions

2/ he is married , not over her etc - now you walk.

You better know which one is the real reason .

 humptyhump1984
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 9
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 1:04:20 PM
If he calls out her name in bed.
 whatthefluc
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 10
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 1:10:26 PM
OP
The way I see it is , if a guy has kids from his ex he would be pretty heartless not to care what happens to the mother of his kids . If not and he still brings her up then there might be something there . I can say without a doubt that if I didn't have kids from my ex she would never cross my mind.
 OCMALE08
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 11
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 1:20:12 PM

Guys, how does a girl know if you are still in love with your ex; even if you claim you are not? I know the obvious signs. What are some signs that are not so obvious a girl can look for? Can a man truly love two women at the same time?


Does he share a kid with this ex? If so, keeping in contact with her is inevitable and an open communication line with her is healthy IMO as it relates to the child. I know with my ex, I don't talk speak to her often, but we send emails quite frequently (sometimes daily)with things that relate to our child. If it's all a big secret, then there's probably something more to it. Keep in mind, divorce is usually the last resort in a relationship. It's emotionally and sometimes financially draining. If it's gotten to that point, he's probably not still in love with her.
 blowmydoorsoff
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 12
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:09:01 PM
Feck I hope not, he gave me a 10 grand deposit. To do a contract killing on her.

Some not so obvious signs ? No idea on that one. Some obvious signs would probally be. If he calls U by her name alot. Talks to her all the time on the phone. Usually ending the convo with. "I luv U", or "I luv U 2".

Some other things to look 4, if U come in and he's naked in bed with hiz ex. That could mean trouble. Oops, what can I say. Im such a dork today.

The only question U asked that I might be able to help clarify. Would be, can a guy love two women ? Love is a feeling, comprised of a certain level of affection and desire for someone. So would say that yes, its possible for a "guy". To have very strong feeling's for more than one woman. To a degree, that would constitute "loving" them.
 lamhoir
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 13
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:36:22 PM

Can a man truly love two women at the same time?

I truly love at least three women right now, none of them romantically but all of them with a tremendous amount of passion. So, yes.

It sounds like you feel threatened by his ex, and I think that's the real issue here. You're going to reach a point where you're going to have to decide to trust him to be faithful, or to leave. Staying when you feel threatened is not a good idea; it will poison the relationship.
 zapped
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 14
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:59:22 PM
if nothing comes out in his mouth but his "EX" --then he still inlove with his ex wifey.
if he always compare you to his "EX" ..youre doomed.....he still inlove with his ex wifey.
 islandfires
Joined: 5/21/2009
Msg: 15
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 2:42:50 AM
In love with her or still loves her? There is still a difference between the two.
 itsmillertime6227
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 16
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 3:01:50 AM
Why does it matter if you have an active profile on here looking for a long term relationship??
 is4you
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 17
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:51:11 AM
ah, I did my profile a long time ago and haven't logged in in awhile. I am here for the forums.
As for everyone else, thanks for the input. He does indeed have children with the ex and I fully expect our lives would and should be intwinded forever with the ex due to the children. Also, our relationship is not on the down low. The ex and I have met
numberous times. There is no doubt in my mind he loves me. My only fear is that she may decide to come back one day. See she left him for his best friend. She lives with said bestfriend. Everything is very out in the open. Problem is she wants both her current bf and her ex hubby (ie my bf). She loves money.....my bf has a ton of it and a new thriving business. She constantly manipulates him by using the kids as pawns. She is incredibly jealous of my relationship with her children and I have gone to great lengths to never bad mouth her or deture them from talking about her. She had her bf and mine hanging on for 3 years while she had her cake and ate it too. Then I came along and messed that up for her.
Here we are 2 years later and we are talking marriage and I don't want to be sure since I take marriage seriously. The only indicator that he still has feelings for her is the way he basically defends her when she is clearly in the wrong
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 18
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Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:25:22 AM

My only fear is that she may decide to come back one day.

The only indicator that he still has feelings for her is the way he basically defends her when she is clearly in the wrong

Well, these 2 things kinda jumped out at me. Is it possible that (like an ex I had) it is your own insecurities at play here? Further, the 2nd comment would indicate that you are voicing your opinion about when YOU think that she is "clearly in the wrong".

IDK, it takes a lot of tolerance, understanding, and maturity to successfully blend a family. It also means that sometimes, you're going to have to bite your tongue and let things play out in order to achieve the long term goal. From what you've briefly described, it doesn't sound like that's happening. If your man doesn't feel that he is being mistreated by his ex, then NOTHING you can say or do will change his mind. Contrarily, he may start questioning YOUR motives for being soo difficult. Especially if, as you say, "my bf has a ton of" money.

I have to say, a few of the things you said were like deja vu to me with an ex GF of mine. Notice, I said... EX girlfriend.


ah, I did my profile a long time ago and haven't logged in in awhile. I am here for the forums.

Yet even after it was pointed out to you, your profile still remains unchanged...


Sorry, but I get the feeling that there's a whole lot more going here that we aren't hearing about.
 BeeGee56
Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 19
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:40:52 AM
How about when a guy has a legitimate reason to communicate with his ex (about kids, for example) but is agressively in "no contact" mode instead. That would suggest to me that he is concerned about what feelings might arise, unbidden and unwelcome, from face to face contact with his ex.

Just my opinion, but being "in hate" with a former partner is probably just as bad as still being "in love". Guys who have unresolved issues with former partners - bad feelings over things that happened before the split for example - might find it pretty hard to have the degree of indifference toward their exes that they need, to move forward.

As to the second question, I think the halls of heartbreak are well stocked with people who thought they could truly love two women at the same time. But there's love, and then there's Love, if you know what I mean.

Sad to say, OP, but any decent guy is going to have, carefully encapsulated and stored in a recess of his heart, some degree of feeling for any woman he's truly shared life with.
 Motto_Bella
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 20
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:04:42 AM
these are the types of things that mature, well adjusted exes do. Especially when there are children involved.

^^ Bravo! Couldn't agree more and maintain the same type relationship w/my ex. Can be (and has been) quite intimidating/threatening for the "other" person which, in the end - revealed their emotional maturity/capacity or there lack of. I wouldn't and don't tolerate jealous behavior - it's unattractive.
 blowmydoorsoff
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 21
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:47:13 AM
ALSO: Its obvious, that something iz bothering U OP. If ya let something like that fester. It will more than likely lead to problems. So az usual, my opinion would have to be. Talk about it, with the person it pertains to.

Nothing better than having a gf. Who haz something bubbling in her head. And having it rear itz ugly head, all of a sudden. Ever hear of a wedge OP ? Funny thang, wedges.
 zapped
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 22
Is he still in love with his ex wife?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:52:38 AM
Married to him or not---if he wants to come back with his ex..he would.By marrying to him its not a guarantee he will be yours forever.I dont think youre jealous with his ex..you just feel "treatened" by her and thats a normal feeling.
Sometimes the biggest rival to your love one is the " ex" cant compete with them.
I guess....just get ready for anything what will happen.OR if youre in doubt dont marry him.You dont want second divorce,do you?
Your boyfriend knows what she did to the fall of their marriage and if he still didnt learn from it..then its his problem anymore not yours.
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