| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:07:50 PM | After reading the "Do you hesitate to contact someone with zero roses left?" thread I was reminded of an experience.
I contacted a lady through a dating service. When I met her at her home we discovered we had attended high school together many years ago. She had an idea who I was so meeting at her home wasn't a big deal.
Anyway, we decided to have a date at an old fashoined drive-in. That way we could watch the movie and chat at the same time, if desired.
The next day I sent her a dozen yellow roses and wrote on the card, "I look forward to the day when it will be appropriate to send red roses."
She declined further dates saying it appeared I was too serious.
So, my question is, "Was it inappropriate to send roses or was that just her way of gently dumping me?" | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:14:03 PM | | This would scare some people away in itself, however I find it a sweet gesture and see nothing wrong with it. This lady did say it appeared to serious, so this tells me that she is not ready for 'serious'. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:15:44 PM | It could have meant both........
While the yellow rose is a symbol of friendship it might have just been a bit
over the top with a dozen.
Especially when you added as a footnote that you'd be looking
forward to the day when you could send red roses.
Who knows if the roses and the mention of red roses later sent her on her way OR
your actions/conversation during your date in addition to the roses.
In any event, she declared that you were a bit too serious for her. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:17:01 PM | Honestly, i would be so scared of you after that. It would be tooo too much in my opinion. This woman obviously felt the same. Overkill to say the least. Maybe next time a voice mail or a e card, alot more subtle ! Happy fishin'  | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:20:22 PM | I think that the roses were a nice touch, but the note on the card could be interpreted as over the top. You and I know that it was a romantic gesture that wasn't literal--
her----not so much, since she stated that it appreared that you were too serious.
It's always nice to get a phone call after a date, especially the first date. Hold off on the roses next time and take it easy. Nothing wrong with showing your interest, but best in small doses. She may not have been out of a relationship long, etc.
I don't think that she was gently dumping you--she told you that she felt that you were too serious. That is what she meant. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:23:01 PM | Yellow roses.... = Friendship roses...nice thought!
But...sigh...yes...it has a way of scaring a girl somewhat...
I remember a man coming to pick me up for a date and we were going to go into the next town for dinner. I had only met him once before and we had chatted on the phone a few times.
He arrived with this HUGE bouquet of flowers!!! I couldn't see him for the bouquet!
In the search for a proper vessel to put them in, he admitted that they were "3 bouquets in one" from Safeway. He had the girl do it up for him.
We ended up uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.
I love flowers and love the sentiments, but I like them when they are genuinely from the heart. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:24:04 PM | There's always the the possibility she doesn't even like roses, you'd be surprised how many women don't. But a dozen with the note was overkill, a single rose is endearing, but a dozen may have come off as too needy, clingy, or too serious for sure. Also, using "appropriate" in a note, isn't exactly romantic way of saying "I really like you"...
before you send a girl roses, ask her what kind of flowers she likes first, and then figure out if she's really looking for something serious or not. Also, flowers on a first date isn't a bad idea, but if you're going to start that way, don't go overboard.. there are simplier gestures of affection you can give, like, a book, or a cd, or a $5 truffle or, something that really comes from within, and not just the old standby. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:26:53 PM | take my advice,give jewellery-it is long lasting and shows thought.
diamonds are also nice
john | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:33:31 PM | | I don't think sending the roses was inappropriate at all and I actually disagree with others that say that perhaps it was the card. I think the card was every bit as kind and genuine as the roses. Having said that I don't know what the conversation was like during the date so perhaps those two things were too much in combination with the conversation. I would have been flattered if the date had gone well! | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:34:03 PM | | The3 rose recipient was looking for an excuse to bail. We're all inundated with minor awkwardnesses we work through, deal with, skirt or adapt to. Mild pecadillos aren't deal breakers. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:36:41 PM | I think it was a cute gesture. If she had liked you, it would have been wonderfully romantic. I suspect she didn't like you so much, so it was creepy.
It's exactly like this:
http://patriots.fandome.com/video/98594/Tom-Brady-SNL-Sexual-Harassment-PSA/ | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:57:23 PM | | I think something like that would scare off any woman after the first date. Even though you two went to school together many years ago it was still inappropriate. Your heart was in the right place and you meant well but it was a little much. Maybe one yellow rose and a thank you card would have been more appropriate. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:59:50 PM | | Hi, I think roses are very nice. May 3 roses would have been better. I love getting flowers on a first date. It makes me feel very special. Best of luck on your next date. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:16:04 PM | Gawd, I love flowers... roses, tulips, daisies - you can send me flowers anytime and I won't take it as you're too serious. Flowers bring joy... I buy them and send them regularly. I also have flowers at home and the office.
Your gesture was sweet and not inappropriate. There was more behind it than just the flowers... | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:45:23 PM |
(Msg 11) I think it was a cute gesture. If she had liked you, it would have been wonderfully romantic. I suspect she didn't like you so much, so it was creepy.
It's exactly like this:
http://patriots.fandome.com/video/98594/Tom-Brady-SNL-Sexual-Harassment-PSA/
Thanks for the instructional video but as the old saying goes, "A dollar short and a day late." Just my luck I'm now retired.  | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:53:32 PM | | Don't send flowers until shes yours, it was inappropriate in that it was too soon for any gifts like that. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:03:10 PM | Awww.. send them to me!! That was super sweet!! I'll take flowers anyday!
She just wasn't in to you is all.
Sorry.. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:09:08 PM | OP, it was a nice gesture.
If she was really into you, she would of worshiped a box of Crackerjacks!
Yellow Roses have a universal understanding of friendship, so keep
to your beliefs that is a throw back , Old School, classy gesture!
Maybe next time watch her body language and I'm sure the Right
Lady would embrace such a noble gesture! | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:47:54 PM | | I think sending flowers, at least the dozen so soon probably seemed a bit hasty. As others have said, maybe an arraignment with just one yellow rose would have been more sufficient. I remember a girl sent me flowers for Easter, and we hadn't been dating long. Honestly, it kinda freaked me out at the time, I thought "wow there's no way we are serious enough for flowers, yet". I was young though, and in College. These days I would see it as a nice gesture. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 7:42:56 PM | OP,
The fact that she found your roses offensive tells the type of wacko she is. You're better off without her.
I see posts where some women find flowers frightening. Hmm, I'd be afraid of them instead because that indicates some kind of imbalance in their minds.
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:10:28 PM | | Bad idea. Giving her roses after one date was too soon. She was probably just looking at you as a friend and by you sending roses the very next day she may have thought you was going way too fast for her! Next time take it slow and after a few dates,then send her some roses,better than that send them to one of the ladies above that love getting flowers on the first date! | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:36:16 PM | I think sending flowers was sweet... but it probably was a little soon. Unfortunately, most women (and maybe men, too, I dunno) have had one too many creepy stalker types. So even if that's not you, and the roses were yellow, a gesture like that is too close to creepy territory.
Next time, follow up with a call... and when you arrive to pick her up for your second date, bring along something a little more casual... a wildflower mix, or daisies, etc. It's sweet and romantic... but doesn't give off that "I've picked out our house and named our three kids" vibe. :) Even better, pay attention to things she mentions, and personalize it to her. I had a guy once that sent me a box of mini Ritz crackers after our first date because I had mentioned I loved them but could never find them anywhere. I actually hadn't been sure I was that into him, but thought the gesture was sweet enough I ended up seeing him again... and we were together for several years. So ya never know. :) | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:47:16 PM |
So, my question is, "Was it inappropriate to send roses or was that just her way of gently dumping me?" I'm thinking it's inappropriate when you haven't read the signals right to know that a second and beyond date is something that is desired. And even then, I'd wait.
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:12:31 PM |
"I look forward to the day when it will be appropriate to send red roses." Presumptuous. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:27:50 PM | | If I really like a guy on a first date or whatever, I would be so flattered if he sent me flowers like yellow roses and the note. But if I'm not all that interested in him, then no. OP, next time read her body language and what she says during the date to determine if it's appropriate to send such a thing. Good luck! | |
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