|
|
|
|
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:44:32 PM | Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
I am almost at my wit's end. I don't seem to be getting too many positive responses to my profile.
What do people here think that I may have done wrong in writing it?
Either when I write a person (women), the first time, or if i haven't and they just happen upon my profile ... it seems that too many women either PASS (do not want to?) write me (that's all cool ... to each their own), OR (most importantly), when I DO write them, they immediately either DELETE my email without even reading it (probably because they checked my profile first), OR if they DO write me, the most common response I get is "Sorry, you're just not my type" - WHEN WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER - how can they know if I am NOT their type or not??? Based on only 1 tiny webpage which barely even touches the tip of the iceberg about what ALL I am about?!?!?
If I seem angry or hurt on my profile page, it is for very good reason. ALL I EVER GET is hurt by women, even when I am trying to be the most loving person I can. Why do I always get hurt? It can't be what I write, can it?
I am this close || to becoming a total monk and writing off ALL WOMEN for good :-(
And NO I do not wish to do that, hence why I am still here.
Please review my profile. I cannot help how I feel. So I try to make better decisions so I won't have to feel such crap anymore. I don't know if my profile link is clickable here in this post so just search my user name if you want to review mine: "ProphetPX".
Thanks to all, in advance.
--Ryan | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:34:24 PM | Okay, I'll bite.
At the risk of sounding judgmental, might I suggest lightening things up a bit. Your profile might be a bit intense right out of the chute. It's clear that you're a passionate individual with a hard crunchy shell. But inside is the same soft, chewy middle we all have. And, it seems you are going to great lengths to keep it protected. In fact, you make it pretty clear that such is the case.
If I seem angry or hurt on my profile page, it is for very good reason. ALL I EVER GET is hurt by women, even when I am trying to be the most loving person I can. Why do I always get hurt? It can't be what I write, can it?
It would be presumptuous of me or anyone else to claim to know why you always get hurt. But if I had to guess, it's because that's what you know best. Getting hurt. So, you are best at getting what you're used to getting. Just a guess based on what I can glean from your profile.
We humans are feedback machines and are only able to think about things in terms of what we know. We're conscious of our consciousness. Or, to put it another way, we think we think, therefore we think we are...we think.
Don't assume that everyone is judgmental, as your profile implies. That opening is pretty in your face. The tone is accusatory and actually confirms any preconceived notions I have about you based on how you present yourself visually. Try a little softer opening. Save the heavy stuff for later. Might be a nice contrast.
I'm like you, Proph. I think too much. But I've learned that there is danger in getting too far inside your own head about things. And, there is danger in dwelling in waters that are simply trying to move under the bridge and make their way down stream.
Heraclitus said, "You can't step in the same river twice." Because when you step into the river, you change the river, Proph. And, the river changes you.
But only if you let it. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:56:48 PM | Hi Ryan,
I cannot sleep so I am going to give you my take on your profile. I find you quite interesting. Intriguing, in fact. You have a lot to your profile, so I am going to give my opinion in sections.
First off your interests:
9-11 911 Truth Alex Jones
Ron Paul Iconoclasts Computers
Programming Security Hacking
P2P Information Technology Web 20
Internet Space Networking architecture
engineering composition exposition
invocation MIDI video games
satellite communication Space
Time Physics Art
Literature Erotica Seduction
Poetry History Great Britain
Russia South America China
World Cultures TRAVEL King Arthur
Romance religion classical music
heavy metal progressive rock RPGs
Dungeons Dragons BDSM
lesbians Domination relationships
polygamy polygyny harems
Ownership commitment deep connections
Bible Prophecy Fulfillment
Apologetics Conspiracies Freedom
Liberty Revolution Kung Fu
Martial Arts Lao Tzu sci-fi
fantasy camping hiking
exploring water parks Astronomy
forests mountains Great Lakes
mental health spiritual warfare anointing
Rapture Tribulation End Times
Eschatology Apotheosis Super Reality
**This is too much. You should pick 10-15 (20 maximum). The purpose of the interests field is so that others on site can find your profile in search. Since I am gay, I may search 'lesbians' and I would see your profile. What interests are most important you share with your partner? Those are the ones which should be listed. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:09:02 AM | Unfortunately, we aren't sitting across from you, so we don't know how charming you are. All we have to go by are your photographs and the words of your profile.
We can tell you are good looking - but the last five photographs do not do you justice. In fact, the color is off so much it hurt my eyes. (Although, I did notice you favor Jack Black :-) )
You already know you need new pictures. None of yours are recent. If you are serious about meeting someone take a few pictures with your hair combed. Maybe one or two with it pulled back to emphasize your eyes. Give us a full frontal smiling facial shot. You only look approachable in the first two pictures, and since this is a dating site and you are seeking a long term commitment you need to look approachable. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:12:53 AM | @nathan.618:
That is amazing feedback! I don't know why I didn't think of that but "lightening-up" is not something I am normally good at. I take life extremely seriously and yet at other times I am all jokes and not serious at all. I guess I tend towards extremes. I don't really know any other way to be? Actually most of my life is ALREADY spent in daily quiet solitude. I meditate probably way too much, and am trying to get out more and be more social / sociable.
And your psychological understanding is something I guess I lack. I do understand what you said, but I guess I never thought of those reasons why I do what I do. Good points!
Thank you so much! For thinking of things that I really should have, but obviously did not. My meditating must not be so productive after all (or the wrong subject matter at least lol)
I am definitely going to take all of what you said into serious consideration, and hell i might even (later, at some point) re-write my whole profile with it in mind!!!! :-) | |
|
| Now your rant.
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:22:53 AM |
** Profile REVISED and partly REWRITTEN, as of May 4th, 2009 **
** No one looks at our profile often enough to know when it is revised. [nor do they care]
Just revise it as necessary.
TO ANYONE / EVERYONE who reads MY profile: BEFORE YOU EVEN CLICK THAT X to close my profile page out of your browser because you seem to think or feel that you have found something (someONE) here that you "do not like" or "are afraid of"? OR, IF you TEND to reply back to ANYONE from any of THEIR own "initial contact" emails to YOU, with stuff like "sorry you are just not MY 'TYPE'" and nothing else written ... type of replies ... THEN:
I RECITE THIS TO ALL OF YOU:
"Judging Others"
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
6 ΒΆ Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
And THOSE are words right from Jesus Christ himself, IN the Bible!!
Mark 4:24, Luke 6:37-38, :41-42, Matt 7:1-5
THINK HARD UPON THOSE WORDS BY THE SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD, BEFORE or IF you EVER DO think or feel any "disdain" for ME, my profile, or ANY of my words, anything we say to each other, or ANY thing I have ever said to you or heard from you in the past, whether e-mails or phone calls or whatever messenger conversations were ever between us! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT REGRETS you may discover only too late, by giving up on the DEPTH that is ... Me. Anyone who PRE-JUDGES or IS SUPERFICIAL enough to reply back with "Sorry you are not my type" IS SUPERFICIAL themselves and SO CLOSED-MINDED that they ARE UGLY INSIDE, to MY INNER EYES. DEFINITELY NOT "MY TYPE" neither! GO AWAY!
WORK ON YOUR OWN INTERNAL SELF, FIRST, to make YOURSELF a "better mate" to another HUMAN BEING, before scouting for such idiot bubba guys (which I DEFINITELY AM NOT!!!) who are ONLY your type because you can get a great lay out of them, and WHO OFFER NOTHING of EXOTIC INTELLECTUAL MULTIVARIOUSNESS ... in SPIRIT AND SOUL ... as I do.
** I understand that we all need to rant sometimes. I hope you feel better after getting it out of your system, but all this needs to go. If you are truly seeking a long term committed relationship then it shouldn't matter how many people view your profile, or how many people write you as quality over quantity , no?
** Most of us aren't going to appeal to the masses nor should we want to. It doesn't mean something is wrong with us, nor does it mean those uninterested are superficial and close-minded.
But, MY BIGGEST THRILL is engaging in exciting conversations! The likes of which MOST PEOPLE just never seem to have anymore! I keep running into people who are just INCREDIBLY BANAL and who never have anything truly "INTERESTING" to offer back ... or MOSTLY, people who just cannot even PROCESS what it is that I have to say. They just give me continual DUMB LOOKS ... like .... "what did he just say"? I swear I am always encountering women who have some sort of "Valley Girl complex" in SOME DEGREE OR ANOTHER??
It is a constant source of sighing for me..
** You have preferences too, you see. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:24:41 AM | Well...
You asked for advice...here it is. Please dont bite my head off...lol
Congratulations for expressing how you are. A lot of people hold back and pretend they are something they are not, and surprise their new friends when the real them starts to show.
I can see that your choice of pictures are all very serious or dramatic. I feel that the pics that we choose of ourselves should reflect how we are on a regular basis. Do you have moments in your everyday existence where you are content? If so, it might be a good idea to take a picture that reflects that.
There are many, many, many people in this world. Good luck. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:25:45 AM | @LilyVee:
Actually I put lesbians in my interest because I am *normally* not interested in straight women (they usually tend to bore me). While I am a man (yes I was born male lol) and not what most of these women are looking for, I am still MOSTLY only attracted to feminine bisexual or lesbian women (people who were born female, as I don't like people who are THAT confused. And yes, I know how typical or corny or flakey that sounds but that is what I am attracted to, I can't help it i have the body parts of a man, and no i am not confused about my gender. I am all about being a man, but yeah, I am just attracted to that particular group or genre of women, ie: women who also love other women. I have been this way since I was extremely young, and it is not something that will ever end anytime soon. It is my soul. So, yeah, extremely much so!!! ;-)
Sorry if I misled you or any other men or women as I never intended on doing so.
And yes thank you for your warm comments as well (about finding me interesting - it doesn't seem that too many people here do? I don't understand why, since I am interested in such a wide variety of topics!)
I also tried to list as many interests as the website would allow me to. So I filled it out to maximum entries because I have a LOT to talk about and so many people on here have SUCH VERY LITTLE to talk about! I want REAL LONG DEEP CONVERSATIONS about EVERYTHING! I don't expect such things right away, of course, but yes I want people to know that I am worth talking to!!!!
About my pictures: They were taken in 2006 I think. I can't get my current camera to interface with Linux yet (I don't use Windows or it would be a snap!). That is the main problem with having new pics taken or I would do just that! I recently shaved off the whole beard and now I have just the mustache. I DO have new pics that were taken before I shaved (as of last September - why does it always seem that whenever I take new pics it always happens in September? This is a weird repetitive trend lol)
I never really understand the concept of "approachability". Thank you for bringing that up. I have lived most of my life in isolation, VERY VERY sheltered, loner to the core. Never had many friends, and trying hard to REVERSE COURSE before I end up dying alone :-( I think the main reason why I prefer my pictures to look the OPPOSITE of "approachable" is because in some sense I WANT to be scary, to show them (any person really) that I AM AN INTENSE PERSON inside, that I am not just your average "run of the mill, joe schmoe" who can be found anywhere! That I am a "diamond in the rough", more of a person on the inside than a "looker on the outside" ... I try to convey that my looks are only a gateway to ME and not the total sum of who and what I am. So that's why I look the way I do, plus I do not "feel myself" with short hair. I wear my hair long because without it, I feel ... sick? Like there is something just not right with me. So yeah that is my own self-image thing. I feel great and confident when I look the way I think I should be. I definitely do comb my hair LOL I am not a total scuz... haha It's just I prefer the "wind in my hair" sort of look (as i love women to have that same "bed sex hair" look... all tousled and crazy wild ... maybe it's just me? :-)
LOL
PS: I HATE Jack Black. I know people say I look like him (I also get the Jesus and Charles Manson comparisons too, oddly enough LOL) but yeah I literally cannot stand Jack Black (his personality nor his acting) LOL | |
|
| Now your rant.
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:41:59 AM | @LilyVee (part 2):
thank you for giving me that new outlook on my profile "judgment" section. I never really thought that it would "ward" people away from me. I spend so much of my time pursuing truth (it is literally what most of my life is about, as I USED to be a PREACHER (yes the Bible / Christian variety), AND currently am a "truth seeker" AND ALSO, a political activist in a rather radical sense lol) so much so that maybe I really did not think it would push people away from finding me a "relaxed" or comfortable person to approach (as I wrote in my last post, the whole "approachability" concept seems so ALIEN to me ... so i definitely needed to hear that!!!!!)
About why I wrote the date of my last profile revision:
Because it seems people either looked at my profile once before, and may be turned off by it (hence why I revise it from time to time) and I am trying to subtly let them know that my profile has probably changed since last time I wrote it and that perhaps my thinking (and my inner person) has ALSO CHANGED (and that I have thus grown, I hope) since I last revised it. I did it because I wanted people to see my life as progressing forward, not sticking back to the same stagnant "old me" all the time. I put that in there to show them I "keep with the times" of myself... something like that :-)
And Aye, lassie... Lo! you were right about how I should prefer quality of letter responses, over quantity of them! I do want quantity so I can somewhat "pick from the litter" but it seems Life (or the people on this site) have yet to afford me that lovely luxury where I can sift from my suitors and find the best mate. So far I am still attempting to pick from the "highest growing fruit" of the tree because all the lower-hanging fruit is always getting taken by (I guess) much more worthy men than I. Yet, yes, I still keep trying.
I guess my life experiences with being an activist of sorts is why I keep forgetting that on a personal level as close as "wanting someone special" should definitely NOT mean that I am trying to appeal to the masses. You are right again. I don't want "just anyone" but (at least in a friends FIRST sort of way).... I want that someone that nobody else wants, or at least, the person that is "NOT just anyone", the person who is reserved for me. Or so I hope?
And yes I have preferences but I think most people are going to start laughing at me and making fun just because I prefer the type of women that I do. Don't most guys prefer that 1 latent or overt MODERN quality in women? I do know guys that do not like women who like other women (kinda scarce quality in men if you ask me but whatever lol)
But yes (back to why you posted about preferences), I love conversations and I never get to have enough of them so I feel really DEPRIVED. I really just want people to talk with and I HOPE (I hope with all my might and heart!!!) to hang out with in real life not talk on the internet! I am SO TIRED of talking on the internet or only by phone! I want to start being in the same room with someone and BE THERE! *sighs*
i am so alone.... nobody even knows the trouble I've seen...
(yes it's cliche and from a song, but please don't moderate this for self pity. I kept it short). | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:48:56 AM | @LucidDreaming:
Thank you!
and no i will not "bite your head off" ... why does it seem that so many people get that rabid impression of me for?
do I really seem like i am about to stomp through the room (through your computer no less?! WTF?! lolll) and just rip off your head, hand it to you, and then devour you, bone by bone, like a bloody Rancor in Star Wars? lol
hahahahahaha!
Thanks for your kind input however. Yes I have newer pics but as I earlier stated, getting them off my camera (and then taking new ones) is a bit of a problem right now. And no I don't know anyone with another camera.
You had a good point about how we take pictures of ourselves, and YES, MY PICTURES definitely show how I normally am!! When am I most content? Mostly when not around idiots... haha ... which isn't often enough, hence why I tend to live most of my life in solitude ... quiet and alone. But there are way too many drawbacks to this, and I do not want to live my life under a bushel anymore! I want my light to shine! I have way too much to offer and so much is going un-appreciated and I want to appreciate and love and laugh with other people!! So, I have been trying to get out more often and do just that but unfortunately that only ever seems to include guy friends and no new females to meet! Sad huh?
As for expressing how i truly am, well. I might just be doing that "too much" and in spades, so to speak! I think people are possibly intimidated to me (there we go with the whole "approachability" factor again). I prefer being INTENSE and being TAKEN as a SERIOUS PERSON, someone who literally "means business" (yet I am not AT ALL a "business-person" - I do NOT have the mind of a businessman)... and I guess that's just not "approachability-friendly"? | |
|
| The good stuff.
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:52:35 AM |
Calm, cool, confident, collected and sensible MAN, "Dominant" but aspiring Unlimited! Encompassing, of high loving heart, paroxysmal poetic touch, and artistically sensitive, seeks fun-loving worthy friend(s), whom of paradoxical passions, may value the many thrilling complexities and yet soothing simplicities found in life.
** This is great information.
Recently relocated here to Leavenworth, Kansas however I am originally from Waterford, Michigan - where I lived primarily MOST of my life and grew up there. Since I am new to Kansas, I currently have VERY FEW similar-age acquaintances yet. But because I have known and loved and been PROFOUNDLY HURT by FAR TOO MANY EVIL SCHEMING WOMEN IN MY PAST (can you SENSE MY ANGER and utter frustration???) I am PRIMARILY seeking friends FIRST (I still prefer female company, as I tend NOT to be ordinarily comfortable around other men) ... where shared conversations, be they deep in spirit, or light with humor, might bond us together as lifetime companions within mutual joy! Friends first, although wherever the road may take us, a profound relationship is ideally desired and very possible.
** This is great information! Loose the all-caps - they are unnecessary.
But because I have known and loved and been PROFOUNDLY HURT by FAR TOO MANY EVIL SCHEMING WOMEN IN MY PAST (can you SENSE MY ANGER and utter frustration???)
** Come on, why have this negative statement in the middle of such a great paragraph?!
We all have been hurt and frustrated. *Delete*
I'm highly intelligent (university educated), emotionally mature, definitely with dreams and ambitions, self-dependent, loving of heart and uplifting of soul. I studied Information Technology at American Inter-Continental University, and I used to work from home as a Technical Support Consultant.
** This is interesting, and good information.
While I do admit to bouts with dire depression, and a gradually healing physical disability,
** You may want to touch base on your physical disability
my aspirations remain high, and my expectations stay purposefully well-managed. I believe everyone of us here on this Earth has a dream, a purpose, and a destiny to fulfill. So, My fight forges ON!! *smiles*
** I love what you say here. This is beautiful and inspiring.
Have you also sought the reborn inspiration for your heart? Or the real-life personal expression of your dreams? So have I, and be fate as it may, I hope possibly we may search together ...
** Very romantic and poetic.
My dreams are: a NEW WORLD, where the lion shall lay down with the lamb, where a righteous King of Kings will reign and all the world rejoice, and a CHILD shall lead them. freely and safely wandering and frolic exploring all of creation, and NEVER BE HURT EVER AGAIN.
** I am not sure I understand. Are you speaking of Revelation in the Bible?
To this end I engage in 9/11 Truth and Awareness
** This is an interesting subject and one which needs to be discussed.
However I have been backslidden for ten years now and I am fully conscious and aware of anything and everything that is wrong with MYSELF and where I lack and fall short, before I ever even "need" to know what is wrong WITH YOU or anyone else.
** OK but perhaps you should reword this so it doesn't sound so negative. I am a big believer in self reflection and practice actively, so I respect this about you. The way it is worded it makes you sound defensive.
Ladies, PLEASE!! DO FEEL ENCOURAGED if not freely COMPELLED and definitely WELCOMED to write me LONG BOOK-like letters!!! (as long as you can actually stand to write, even if it is only the initial contact or just a short ways beyond that... Believe it or not, I actually LOVE TO READ about a woman's heart and soul her mind, what she thinks about -- I want to KNOW IT ALL ... but of course, in due time, as you feel comfortable! :-) And no, just because you write me a lot about any variety of things, I will NOT consider any of you to be strange or anything - I LOVE IT! :-)
** Reword this without the caps. State the facts without all the filler. ex "Believe it or not"
My Current pics = 2-3 years old. I will have new pics posted ASAP!
** I don't think this needs to be said, but if you must have it in your profile why not move it to the bottom?
As for ... what do i do for fun?
Well on Wednesday nights after my weekly medical appointment I go out and join a group of NEW friends for a regular roleplaying game, where we play in Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. There are MANY OTHER ADULTS who play, as well as young children who play with us so really it is a fairly fun time!
** It isn't necessary to have "after my weekly medical appointment" unless you are going to touch base as to why you have this weekly appointment.
But, MY BIGGEST THRILL is engaging in exciting conversations! The likes of which MOST PEOPLE just never seem to have anymore! I keep running into people who are just INCREDIBLY BANAL and who never have anything truly "INTERESTING" to offer back ... or MOSTLY, people who just cannot even PROCESS what it is that I have to say. They just give me continual DUMB LOOKS ... like .... "what did he just say"? I swear I am always encountering women who have some sort of "Valley Girl complex" in SOME DEGREE OR ANOTHER??
It is a constant source of sighing for me... this is why I tend to live mostly a HERMETIC life always immersed in my own studies because I SIMPLY FIND NO OTHER SATISFACTION WITH MOST PEOPLE! It's VERY HARD! And VERY depressing!!! :-(
** OK The only sentence I recommend keeping is "But, MY BIGGEST THRILL is engaging in exciting conversations!" the rest is just plain ole rude. Maybe tell us the topics of conversation you enjoy. Religion, Philosophy, Rumi?
** You gave us lots of information, but we still don't know the qualities you find attractive. Intellect obviously. Open minded I'm sure, but what else? Are you seeking someone professional? High maintenance? We want to know. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:14:10 AM |
Actually I put lesbians in my interest because I am *normally* not interested in straight women (they usually tend to bore me). While I am a man (yes I was born male lol) and not what most of these women are looking for, I am still MOSTLY only attracted to feminine bisexual or lesbian women (people who were born female, as I don't like people who are THAT confused. And yes, I know how typical or corny or flakey that sounds but that is what I am attracted to, I can't help it i have the body parts of a man, and no i am not confused about my gender. I am all about being a man, but yeah, I am just attracted to that particular group or genre of women, ie: women who also love other women. I have been this way since I was extremely young, and it is not something that will ever end anytime soon. It is my soul. So, yeah, extremely much so!!! ;-)
** No, this doesn't sound flaky or corny, as I am getting the impression you are often misunderstood, and generally speaking people in the gay/lesbian community are more open and accepting. (especially to those with eccentricities) I understand your attraction to 'women loving women' -women.
I also tried to list as many interests as the website would allow me to. So I filled it out to maximum entries because I have a LOT to talk about and so many people on here have SUCH VERY LITTLE to talk about! I want REAL LONG DEEP CONVERSATIONS about EVERYTHING! I don't expect such things right away, of course, but yes I want people to know that I am worth talking to!!!!
** I understand this, but it is too much. Pick the most important interests to list in the interest field, and then write a couple of paragraphs about a few of the others.
About my pictures: They were taken in 2006 I think. I can't get my current camera to interface with Linux yet (I don't use Windows or it would be a snap!). That is the main problem with having new pics taken or I would do just that! I recently shaved off the whole beard and now I have just the mustache. I DO have new pics that were taken before I shaved (as of last September - why does it always seem that whenever I take new pics it always happens in September? This is a weird repetitive trend lol)
** Wow, you shaved your beard?! I imagine you look a lot different. You can take your camera to Wal-mart and they will put your pictures on a disk, then you can go to the library and upload them to your profile. I had to do that last year.
I never really understand the concept of "approachability". Thank you for bringing that up. I have lived most of my life in isolation, VERY VERY sheltered, loner to the core. Never had many friends, and trying hard to REVERSE COURSE before I end up dying alone :-( I think the main reason why I prefer my pictures to look the OPPOSITE of "approachable" is because in some sense I WANT to be scary, to show them (any person really) that I AM AN INTENSE PERSON inside, that I am not just your average "run of the mill, joe schmoe" who can be found anywhere! That I am a "diamond in the rough", more of a person on the inside than a "looker on the outside" ... I try to convey that my looks are only a gateway to ME and not the total sum of who and what I am.
** I get this, but unfortunately, this is a dating site, and people are visual creatures. We don't have the luxury of people getting to know us first. We feel your intensity through your words, so there is no need to intentionally look scary. Sometimes, when we are very intense we have to gently break people in, ya know? Give them a little at a time.
So that's why I look the way I do, plus I do not "feel myself" with short hair. I wear my hair long because without it, I feel ... sick? Like there is something just not right with me. So yeah that is my own self-image thing. I feel great and confident when I look the way I think I should be.
** I am not suggesting you cut your hair. I happen to think it becomes you, but I do think you should work on your approachability.
quote] I definitely do comb my hair LOL I am not a total scuz... haha It's just I prefer the "wind in my hair" sort of look (as i love women to have that same "bed sex hair" look... all tousled and crazy wild ... maybe it's just me? :-)
** smiling
PS: I HATE Jack Black. I know people say I look like him (I also get the Jesus and Charles Manson comparisons too, oddly enough LOL) but yeah I literally cannot stand Jack Black (his personality nor his acting) LOL
** Yes, your profile picture does remind one of Jesus, but not Charles Mason. I think people say that about any man with long hair and a beard. As far Jack Black, I am not too fond of his humor, but it is cool you look like him. (you only do in the last few pictures) You look more like Jesus in the first two and Jack in the others. J & J lol | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:19:59 AM |
But yes (back to why you posted about preferences), I love conversations and I never get to have enough of them so I feel really DEPRIVED. I really just want people to talk with and I HOPE (I hope with all my might and heart!!!) to hang out with in real life not talk on the internet! I am SO TIRED of talking on the internet or only by phone! I want to start being in the same room with someone and BE THERE! *sighs*
** Well, you have to start working on being approachable. On the internet is as good of a place as any, eh?
I am a bit of a loner too. Sometimes, I have to remind myself I need to socialize as I often get lost in a book.
See, your energy is completely different in these messages . This is the Ryan you need to convey in your profile. This Ryan is approachable, kind, and interesting - this is the Ryan we want to know. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:25:19 AM | **EDIT** - my post took so long to write that I missed all the other poster's great advice and your wonderful responses to their constructive criticism.
If you've already read mine (before this edit), please disregard anything that's already been discussed with the better reviewers. If you haven't read it yet, never mind. The other advice was far superior to anything I had to offer. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:29:31 AM | | Someone else suggested something about your pics being over exposed (too bright). I think it would be helpful to include pics of yourself doing the activities and things you like to do. Showing you living your life. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:32:14 AM | My view:
If you want an HONEST take, don't get upset or be too sensitive about it, righteo! And don't dwell on the negatives. Remember, everyone goes through sh1t..whether it's big, small, runny, soft, hard..they all have one thing in common, they all stink! LOL.
We get that you're angry but there's no need to be so belligerant about it. Okay you've been hurt badly but...newsflash...you're not the only one (generally speaking). Banging your fists on the table is too much baggage. Sorry but leave that shite for later. Baggage-handlers are for airports, not as your potential friend or whatever (unless you met one lol). Think it's best to be discreet about your full psychological pain at this point. Again, leave it for later.
I think your username, your image and quoting of bible verses altogether screams bible basher. And this too:
"My dreams are: a NEW WORLD, where the lion shall lay down with the lamb, where a righteous King of Kings will reign and all the world rejoice, and a CHILD shall lead them. freely and safely wandering and frolic exploring all of creation, and NEVER BE HURT EVER AGAIN."
What do you see yourself as, a new-age prophet? C'mon. Is that why you have this holier-than-thou attitude?
I don't think many people are into being bible-bashed. Whenever something goes wrong, are you gonna sling scriptures at them? Bad idea. You said yourself you are serious and it comes through like thunder. Definitely need to try to lighten up. It's not worth it! Ever wonder if that's why you've been so miserable? I don't know how life will unfold for anyone, maybe it (in whatever area) doesn't/can't happen for everyone (not saying you). Being able to cope and adapt can help you grow in other ways? It takes more guts to take it in your stride than being a ranter. My own philosophical crapola lol.
I think your last three photos make you look like a terrorist to be frank. You look angry in all of them plus they're too glary anyway, can't make out your features. Personally not into long hair but you carry it off well. And you have nice eyes.
We get that your smart but calling people out for being dumb AND in caps too, well, people are who they are and quite frankly, it's unwarranted and offensive (speaking on behalf of the dummies lol). Be happy that YOU are smart at least. This also narrows the field if you're in the Einstein league (if you just think you, it's another story lol). I can see that this can be intimidating too. So it's not necessarily about you. That's what people forget, argh! Learn that peoples.
Keep contributing to Forums.You obviously love to write and read. I'm sure people can learn from you. And they will get to know you better. Who knows, you might even meet someone there.
Once again, don't be so intense!
Edit: Some Woman, I caught a glimpse of your post before your edit. You were being frank. It's worth including here. Plus you spent that time and effort on it!
| |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:48:22 AM | YOU LOOK LIKE CHARLES MANSON -- FOR GOD'S SAKE GET A HAIRCUT AND SHAVE -- STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE A SWASTIKA ON YOUR FOREHEAD. I KNOW VINCE BUGLIOSI AND EVEN HE WOULD AGREE --- HE SENT CHARLIE TO PRISON.
GROW UP --THAT WILL BE A GREAT BEGINNING.
AND STOP SITTING AROUND LISTENING TO THE BEATLES' WHITE ALBUM BACKWARDS.
there -- I sed what should have been sed a long time ago to this guy. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:57:54 AM | wow - this profile - just wow. I don't know what to say. I'm speachless.
the pictures are just awful and scarey and they look like Charles Manson's mug shots that I see on those History Channel shows.
And I don't need or want any quoting Jesus Christ to me - I have my own Bible - thank you very much.
I don't even know what else to say... | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:34:41 AM |
What am I doing wrong?
Oh, good grief. How's the following, for starters?
Anyone who PRE-JUDGES or IS SUPERFICIAL enough to reply back with "Sorry you are not my type" IS SUPERFICIAL themselves and SO CLOSED-MINDED that they ARE UGLY INSIDE, to MY INNER EYES. DEFINITELY NOT "MY TYPE" neither! GO AWAY!
OP, I'm gonna flat-out say it: You are NOT my type. Want to know why? Because in not a single picture are you smiling. Quite the contrary, you look downright mean and in the majority of your pictures your eyebrows look like this: " V"
What's that you say? You're NOT a mean person, but are actually quite happy when all is said and done?
WELL, THEN, HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW THAT???
Do you understand what I'm saying? You've deliberately sabotaged your own profile by making yourself as unapproachable as you could possibly be. And as long as you keep your profile that way, I have every right to reach the conclusion that you're not nice, not fun, not "whatever". You've given me no reason to think otherwise. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:40:29 PM |
Edit: Some Woman, I caught a glimpse of your post before your edit. You were being frank. It's worth including here. Plus you spent that time and effort on it!
After reading this, and a very nice personal message from another poster, I have reconsidered reposting the reply I edited (removed) last night. Thank you both for mentioning it and finding value in it. I hope the OP will as well.
(It's probably a good thing I tend to save my long-winded posts elsewhere. Now I might understand why I do that. But anyway...)
Here is that reply:
Oh my, Ryan, I don't really even know where to start. But I'll try anyway, ok? I'm going to be really honest. My apologies in advance if honesty isn't quite what you're looking for. You can even stop reading right now if you want. I promise not to be offended if you do.
Ok, here we go...
I think your photos might scare a few women off. You have some rather frightening expressions in some of them. Sort of like an intentional attempt to look intimidating. I suspect that your true self does not wish to intimidate or frighten anyone. You said you're going to be posting some updated pictures. That's a great idea. Please try to have at least one with a genuine smile. Women love that. Also, one full length photo so they can get an idea of your body type, clothing style, etc. Right or wrong, those things are very important to quite a few women.
Starting a profile so negatively is not the best way to attract women. Yelling (CAPS) and ranting in the very beginning is likely to make women think you are probably the yelling and ranting type in your real life. That's kinda scary for some and simply annoying to others. I can't honestly say I know any women who wouldn't just click ahead to the next profile when their first few seconds of reading about you are so intense and not in a good way.
You're absolutely right about women not knowing if you're their type just by reading your profile. However, it's really pretty easy for most women to tell who isn't their type if they feel frightened/nervous/intimidated just at a glance. Also, you have this marvelous list of interests, but I'm sure you're well aware that your interests are not exactly mainstream. It will be a very incredibly special and unique woman who shares them.
I can see you're a thinker and that all the time you spend alone allows you to get fully immersed in your thoughts. I believe, realistically, that most people are much less complex and intense than you appear to be. You're a talented writer and you express yourself exceptionally well, but in my opinion, inappropriately for the audience you're trying to reach and for what I believe you're trying to accomplish on this site. You need to give women reasons to want to get to know you, not just try to make them feel bad for not giving you a chance and yell about how women have hurt you.
Aww, crap... (*huge sigh*)
There's so much that could be done to make this profile more attractive to women. You could get better pictures, you could tone down the intensity, you could cut out the negativity, you could (insert suggestion here). I could offer you the standard advice (as I'm sure someone else will) and try to persuade you to play by the written and unwritten rules of creating a profile to attract the opposite sex. But do you really and truly want that?? I mean seriously... you are who you are. If you only say the things women want to hear in order to capture their interest, but you're hiding or disguising your true self, then you gain nothing.
Someone out there is going to appreciate you for exactly who and what you are, whoever and whatever that happens to be. If you make your profile sound like all the others because someone else thinks you should, you're going to miss out on that one special woman who totally gets you, because she's so much like you and has been searching and hoping to find someone who totally gets her too. You really need to describe that woman, your Ms Right, what she's like, what you want and need from her, so that when she reads your profile all the way to the end, because you are who she's been looking for, she will have some idea that she's just right for you as well.
You're passionate about your beliefs and super intense in your expression of your frustration, hurt and anger. You're quite intelligent, or you wouldn't be able to write the way you do. You're lonely, you're less than perfect, you have some serious issues and you think about things in a totally unique way. Am I wrong? If I am, then please feel free to correct me. Do you really want women to believe something else about you? If so, then describe yourself in a way that makes something else believable. You're a writer. I know you can do it if you so choose.
Or just be you. Describe you as you see yourself. Talk about what interests you, what makes you tick. Say what your Ms Right is like, so she will recognize herself in your words. You, exactly as you are, the good stuff, the bad stuff, the hard shell and soft center (as noted by a previous poster), are just what someone out there needs. But she's going to be completely different from all the many thousands of women on this site. She's going to be the only woman like her. What is she worth to you? Adjust your profile accordingly.
I have much more I could say, but perhaps a public forum is not the right place for it. I hope I've been able to help you, even if just a little bit, by sharing my thoughts with you. Take what you need, get rid of the rest, or feel free to disregard them all. | |
|
| Please review my profile? What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/8/2009 2:58:34 AM | Wow, "Easy2Like" (somehow I find it hard to believe that you are "easy to like") - can you be anymore of a D!C|<}{3/\D to me eh??? holy crap ...
That just was NOT very cool...
I didn't ask for PERSONAL CRITICISM, only for criticism of my PROFILE, what I wrote, how to refine it. Not for judgments on my character. YOU don't know me, so DON'T ATTACK ME.
What a #$@*^?&!
--- "Easy2Like" said to me ---
YOU LOOK LIKE CHARLES MANSON -- FOR GOD'S SAKE GET A HAIRCUT AND SHAVE -- STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE A SWASTIKA ON YOUR FOREHEAD. I KNOW VINCE BUGLIOSI AND EVEN HE WOULD AGREE --- HE SENT CHARLIE TO PRISON.
GROW UP --THAT WILL BE A GREAT BEGINNING.
AND STOP SITTING AROUND LISTENING TO THE BEATLES' WHITE ALBUM BACKWARDS.
there -- I sed what should have been sed a long time ago to this guy.
---
| |
|
| Okay so I RE-WROTE almost the whole thing! Check it out! Please?
Posted: 6/8/2009 3:08:50 AM | Ok so anyway, WITH THE HELP of other people ... another website, really... I totally re-wrote my whole profile, according to a Question / Answer scenario. GONE are all my poetic stylings ... but so are the rantings and ravings too (well for the most part).
Ok so I totally re-wrote the first part of my profile. (Second part I did not change much)
As for my photos, well sadly I cannot do anything about them yet. My own digital camera is NOT the kind that you can just take to a Pharmacy or Wal-mart to offload the pics to a CD or prints, because it does not use SD-cards. It is a properietary download protocol, and I am not using Windows anymore (I am a Linux geek, so right now I cannot get my camera to interface with Linux to download the new pics I had already taken, or to make room for more new ones to take. And I am not going to go back to Windows right-away, just for new pics.)
Sorry but I actually think my pics are sufficient as they are, FOR NOW. I understand my problem with "approachability" but I do not feel that my pictures are lacking "niceness" as they are not threatening in any way (seriously, what am I gonna do, come jump out of your screen and attack you?!? You may think so but I call that a mental issue). So, how i look, well, that is just how I am most of the time, intense and serious. I almost never smile much (and no it is not because I am unhappy, it is because I don't like being that way ... all smiley and bogus crap).
Anyone who is still left reading this thread, please RE-REVIEW my profile and tell me how you think my NEW profile looks / reads? Is my new profile...
A. IMPROVED? :-)
or...
B. Worse? :-(
And how?
Thanks!
--Ryan | |
|
| |
| Okay so I RE-WROTE almost the whole thing! Check it out! Please?
Posted: 6/8/2009 4:41:24 AM | Get a picture of you SMILING.
Does wonders, I swear.
Read the profile guides on here too. Women don't want downers, so lighten up the mood and be happy. Saying you work too much and don't get paid enough may be true, but that's not what women want to hear. List the best things about you, and what makes you, you! | |
|
| Okay so I RE-WROTE almost the whole thing! Check it out! Please?
Posted: 6/8/2009 4:45:09 AM |
I almost never smile much (and no it is not because I am unhappy, it is because I don't like being that way ... all smiley and bogus crap).
Fair enough, Prophet.
Way back in your original post you wrote:
OR if they DO write me, the most common response I get is "Sorry, you're just not my type" - WHEN WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER - how can they know if I am NOT their type or not??? Based on only 1 tiny webpage which barely even touches the tip of the iceberg about what ALL I am about?!?!?
And more recently you wrote:
So, how i look, well, that is just how I am most of the time, intense and serious.
Ok. Now you can probably see a little of what's going on here. Your pictures do, indeed, convey the message that you're intense and serious. There are folks who do not prefer intensity and seriousness, a preference for which I'm certain you can find no fault, no? When you email one of them, and they respond with "you're not my type", it's fairly easy to see, don't you think, how they correctly reached that conclusion?
So, actually, your webpage goes much deeper than the iceberg's tip. With the pictures alone, you reveal an intensity and seriousness that volumes of words may not have adequately conveyed. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
