| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:36:46 PM | Hi Fellow Fish,
You fall "head over heels" for someone, and they feel the same way about you. You're GOOD together. Problem is they want to live together before marriage. You don't, knowing that living together is a sure fire way to wreck even the best relatiohship. What do you?
Sincerely,
Timothy Paul | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:41:43 PM | If living together is what you blame for "wrecking the relationship," then you need to see a therapist. If you can't live together, there is no relationship, or it is a distance relationship which both parties must agree to. Typically such relationships are created for reasons other than not wanting to live together. Blaming something other than your talents, skills, or attitudes for a relationship problem is a sign of a disorder.
Then again, I knew an old Harley repair guy who said:
Women, ya can't live with 'em....
... ya can't break 'em down and sell the parts...
Let me take her down to the shop for a week and I will see if I can tweak her carburator for ya. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:45:46 PM | Well at some point I would have to pull my head out of my arse to take a breath, at which point I would hope that I would realize that once we got married we would be living together.
So I would either have to stick my head back up my arse or come up with a good reason why a ceremony, ring, and a piece of paper would make any difference!
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:47:03 PM | | it would be a very good idea to live together before marrige...you get to find out all their quirks and such before hand and then you can find out if its gonna be worth the doom of marrige or not. Its like sex, you definetly want to do that with your partner before marrige. Everything should be like your test driving a car before you buy it so to speak. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:02:16 PM | Hi All,
All who have replied so far have said they would go for it despite the overwhelming evidence that living together usually dooms a relationship.
I'm truly surprised. Seems like if you really loved someone and wanted a future with them, you'd avoid doing things that are likely to ruin the relationship.
Sincerely,
Timothy Paul | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:10:41 PM | I suppose the divorce rate is solid enough evidence of your claim. Why not just quit having relationships and nip this whole outbreak in the bud?
Marriage is clearly the primary cause of divorce. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:12:41 PM | Do you think marrying her will make any difference?
No relationship guarantees a happy ending. That is all up to the two people involve and not the choice you proposed.
Yes, I would sin with my partner till we are ready to marry. If we don't work out, its not the end of the world. Bad decisions are not always a bad thing. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:12:46 PM | | Mr. Timothy Paul I am as confused with your post as I have ever been on POF. I just don't understand what you are trying to say. This doesn't appear to be an issue of morals. I know that there are still a lot of people who morally believe that it is wrong to live with someone that you are not married to. Be it a religious reason, or whatever. But what you appear to be saying is that simply living together is a sure fire way to wreck a relationship. As a general rule I agree. Sometimes people in a relationship move in together way before they have had a chance to get to know each other. But again, it doesn't appear that this is what you are saying. If you have developed a relationship with someone that you are now wanting to marry, but the issue of living together prior to marriage is worrying you, because it will destroy the relationship then something is wrong with your concept of relationships. I am not even sure why I am responding to this post, because it is either ridiculous or, so vague that a rational response is impossible. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:13:40 PM | OP I don't think you understand what other's are saying.... once you get married, you WILL be living together. Therefore, if living together is sure to wreck a relationship, then don't you think it's going to get wrecked after you get married and you move in together??? The ONLY difference between living together before marriage and living together after marriage is the ceremony and piece of paper called the marriage license. Unless you plan on marrying her and continue to keep separate residences???
Personally I would much rather live with someone before I marry them simply so I can see if I can tolerate them being around all the time and little habits they might have that I don't see otherwise. I know that if I can't tolerate it while living together, i'm sure as shit not going to be able to tolerate it married to them! | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:16:30 PM |
OP I don't think you understand what other's are saying.... once you get married, you WILL be living together. Therefore, if living together is sure to wreck a relationship, then don't you think it's going to get wrecked after you get married and you move in together??.
Perhaps he is considering the marriage as the "brass ring" and needs to acheive the goal before the breakup? | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:22:58 PM | Yes I would.
I do agree that marriage is more real - more of a commitment.
I've had two long-ish marriages (16/17 years) and feel marriage is better.
I did have a gal living with me (between the two marriages) for a year. Too bad she was a liar ...... sure miss that wild monkey sex. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:23:46 PM | Please present me with this overwhelming evidence that living together dooms a marriage. It makes no logical sense. There is nothing that happens when you live with someone that doesn't happen when you live with someone after you are married.
Now the only man I ever lived with is my ex husband. As I was having difficulties where I was living, I moved in with him prior to our buying our home and getting married. Our getting married did not change anything. The only thing was that we had a reception/housewarming party after we were married that we wouldn't have had had we not gotten married. I would not have lived with him if I didn't know for sure we would be getting married. I really believe if you have a set date for your wedding, why would living together prior to this date doom the marriage?
The only thing I can see is if you live together and find out that you can not tolerate living together and that wouldn't be any different if you were married.
A marriage is a promise between two people and God. How could that be effected by living with someone prior to marrying? | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:24:08 PM | Dear Mr. Paul.
You have failed to answer the question being asked to clear up the issue at hand.
What will be the difference after a wedding if in fact you believe that living together wrecks even the best relationships?
Marriage is a relationship and has been for a few years now!
I am surprised that anyone with such views would even consider marriage. It makes no sense what so ever! | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:28:44 PM | Hi All,
Yes the question is about before marriage only. After marriage, you live together. Hope this clarification helps.
One poster did make a great point. Even if you are willing to risk damaging or ending the relationship by living together before marriage, a person may decide not to because of religious or moral reasons.
Sincerely,
Timothy Paul | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:39:03 PM | | Here one of the very few threads where every one is of one mind.... That got to say something about it. Sound to me like your GF wants to take you on a test drive to see what it would be like to actualy live with you....Cant blame her its a big step to get married and you better walk into it with your eyes open and have as few surprises as you can.. | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:43:54 PM | Nah. I prefer they stay at their own place the entired time...before during or after marriage. makes things easier. That seems to be what you think would have to happen to keep a relationship from being doomed.
All who have replied so far have said they would go for it despite the overwhelming evidence that living together usually dooms a relationship
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:49:51 PM | | dont get married then live together what if you guys actully find out if you get on each others nerves first by just living together then you will know if you should get married | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:59:09 PM | Hi All,
I agree. Many men will live with women they would never marry.
Can you imagine how a woman feels who thinks the world of you and wants to be your wife and you only want to live with her? Ouch!
Sincerely,
Timothy Paul | |
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| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:02:26 PM |
Can you imagine how a woman feels who thinks the world of you and wants to be your wife and you only want to live with her?
I haven't met any women that delusional on POF, but I keep trying. | |
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