| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:32:01 PM | Um, I'm not sure where to start...About a 2 years ago I got fed up with my life. I changed everything, because the girl that broke my heart told me I just had nothing to offer. So I sat down and thought about it. Maybe she was right?!? So I got my butt to the gym, and lost 60 lbs. I got a good job. With a pension, health benefits, profit sharing the whole 9 yards. I made some hard choices and cut people out of my life that weren't on the same path. I got better people in my life. I changed everything. Even the type of girl I was interested in was different. Still I meet the same girls. I was at a gas station once awhile back and this girl was there and she'd lost her wallet and was obviously upset. So I paid for her things and helped her to find her wallet. To make a long story short she told me that she worked for the EPA or something like that. She was a stripper. Everything that she'd told me for 3 months was a complete lie. It's the perfect example of my dating life.
There's no difference from when I was 300 lbs working at Mcdonalds making 20,000.00 a year.
So why do I bother waking up at the crack of dawn or only sleeping 16 hours a work week so I can go to the gym for 30 in a 6 day week?.... Or why don't I go work at Eat - Park there's no danger of a 1 ton steel beam breaking in half or falling from a crane and crushing me. I did just move back home though, but I moved in with a friend we agreed before we moved in together that we'd both put in x amt of dollars and whatever was left over went to recreation. Well she thought if she walked around half naked and shook her butt a little..I would pay her half. I did cover the first month, but then she quit her job. I moved out...I hope to be in a new place by july 1. but I'm even wondering should I even leave.... I pretty much give up. There are atleast 3 girls on here that I met at bars that either ignore my messages on here or are very mean to me on here, but they call me atleast once a week. They have no clue.
Is everyone really that fake?
I'm just fed up. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:35:06 PM | | I feel like I should just give up ad become another meathead A**hole manwhore..... | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:30:24 PM | Dude...not only have I read few post more pesimistic...but OMG your profile.
Brutal honesty...if you were the hottest gal in the WHOLE WORLD I would run from you just based on your attitude.
Work on the inside | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:33:00 PM | | I hear you man. Try to keep your chin up, there is someone out there for you and everyone else. But you might not meet today..or tomorrow..or maybe even next year. Eventually, you will find her. Because something that good has to be worth the wait, and don't settle for anything less. Good luck in your journey. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:16:45 PM | Revilor is right, man. If you take everything negative out of your profile, would there be anything left?
You may be able to get a some help here, with your little problem. But you have to take the first step, with that profile. It's a rant, not a profile.
It sounds like you started to change your life. You're only 29 years old. You've just started the process of becoming who you can be.
It's a lousy species, bap779. But the way to change it is to change the one person we have some control over; our self.
If we do that, maybe we'll be the person we need to be, when we meet that other person on the journey of becoming, with whom we can share that journey.
(We'll be watching your progress. And, ask us anything, while you move ahead.) | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:56:28 PM | Stop doing things just to get women and start doing them for yourself.
Do you really want to go to the gym every day, or are you just doing it because you think it's going to get you women?
It sounds dumb but you need to be happy with yourself. If you don't like you, then a woman is certainly not going to like you. Stop doing things just because you think they will help you get women. Start doing things that will make you happy instead. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:03:30 PM | | listen man stop trying to change. NEVER GEIVE UP. Have you ever thought that it's not who YOU ARE but how your TREATING THEM? maybe your to demanding and independent. OR.. ur to dependent on her. every women has her own type of man. So thats why you have to BE YOURSELF. i've been hirt a lot even though im at a early age. I was cheated on by the women i loved. what im trying to say is that these types of things happen. But the most important part of it all is to GO THROUGH IT. Take the hits and KEEP MOVING FOWARD. Hope this helped. GOOD LOOK! | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:40:26 PM | thank the few of you who took the time to reply... Thanks for the encouragement.
The only thing that would make a difference as far as changing my profile would be pictures... I know i've experimented. I'll stick with the 2007 pictures...if all you care about is what I look like, then I don't want to tlak to you.
Everything I'm doing to better myself is for my benefit. Though it's hard, frustrating and expensive, I know I'll be happier in the end... | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:47:45 PM | I can sympathize with you, we all have issues and difficulties when it comes to dating in general. The only thing we can do is stay positive and keep moving forward.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We must learn to love and accept our selves first, before we can truly be open to the wonder that is love.
Your playing small does not serve the world or yourself. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. There's more to life than what you see, be open to possibilities and stay grounded and focused on what you truly want and deserve.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain. I wish you the best of luck in your search and hope that you will find what you're looking for.
Aloha :P) | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:50:59 PM | I don't see anything wrong with the pictures you have posted anyway? You're a handsome guy! Sounds like you've been burned pretty badly though, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. Look inside yourself. You know you're a good man, right? You work hard in every aspect of your life it seems, and because of that, you're improving yourself one step at a time. Everyone has things they don't like in their lives, and you are no exception to the rule. I wish you love, joy, peace, comfort, a soulmate and a family to call your own! | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:06:23 AM | | Yea cause that kinda profile will actually get anyone to be interested in you... | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 1:16:06 AM | | Dude, I hear you loud and clear! I suspect that you were raised to believe that you should "provide" for a woman and take her bad behaviors as if they are to be expected. A woman will tell you that your mother was right i.e. you should be a "nice boy" and be her personal footstool, so to speak. Yet, when tempted with a guy who has no such upbringing, she will leave in the night to meet with him while you sleep. I really believe that women in general are divided creatures just as we are: we men, want a hot, beautiful babe to sleep with, but find it a drag in trying to satisfy her endless needs for money and encouragement in the inevitable long term committment. Women, on the other hand, long to be with a stable, loving and attentive man, but they also have a need to go out and screw like little bunnies, once in a while. That is the picture I've been seeing since I was a young teenager. I've only recently been hurt bad enough to lose my guilt over it and actually become the coldhearted, silver fox that I always thought was the best plan of attack. Unfortunately, I have given up my hopes of a long term relationship with any woman. It sounds sort of romantic, but it is merely a personal choice and it sucks in that way. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 1:16:21 AM | Your profile says you've "totally given up." You say, "I don't care any more. Why do I bother?" So do you want people to talk you into staying and trying or what? Only you can make that decision. And as several someone elses already pointed out, you won't catch any fish with tainted bait.
If you choose to see the world through sh1t colored glasses, all you're going to see is sh1t. Or you can make the choice to wipe off those glasses and choose to see positive things in the world.
Start with yourself. Maybe get a counselor or soemone who can help you put things in a better perspective.
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:35:06 AM | | You are proof that changing for external reasons will not work. Change has to come from a desire within. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:16:35 AM | "Is everyone really that fake?"
You are a fake yourself. You want, but you have nothing of substance to give. At least that's what I thought when I read your profile. Money is not substance, character is. Like anything that is worth getting you have to work for it. And I don't mean the superficials. Keep it on a superficial plane and you'll end up with superficial results. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:24:00 AM | I am so glad that this post is going to be on your profile... I don't think any woman needs to deal with that kinda attitude. Especially one that says women are this and that... way to generalize. And, again, you wonder why you can't be in a relationship and you wonder why they leave you... Of course it's not your fault, it's their fault... A person, wait let me rephrase, a narcissistic person can never put the blame on themselves, they always have to point fingers at others, and that's what you're doing right now.
By the way, saying you've given up your hopes for a long term relationship doesn't sound romantic at all. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:46:32 AM | One, Your profile is a long reason NOT to date you.
Would you date a girl with one like yours?
Two, I commend you for changing your life.
Keep on that path cus it will bare fruit.
But Don't do it to get a better girl.
Do it cus you want a better you.
You are unhappy not cus you don't have a girl in your life.
You are unhappy and no girl wants to be dragged down by that.
Depression is a dark lense that clouds everything we see.
If you say to yourself I'm doing all this good and have all this going for me yet am still unhappy......
...well that is clinical depression.
Very common and easy to treat.
So seek help.
When you remove that darkness, you will shine and women will be drawn to your light.
good Luck! | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 4:31:28 PM | Birds of a feather, flock together.
As others pointed out, you changed to make yourself look better, and you meet...people who change who they are, to look better.
You didn't do it for yourself, and you meet people who...do what they do for other people, not for themselves. Coincidence?
Look back at your original post. How many times did you literally pay for other people's problems? Its no coincidence that paying for other people's problems, gets you their problems. There's a reason why you are buying people, maybe its b/c you wished someone had done that for you in your old life, who knows. But as you see, you're buying the very situation you are complaining about. And people who can't handle their own money, ain't gonna do a better job with your money.
If someone can't handle their money, which is a personal subject for so many people...then how can they handle anything else in their life? Its easy to handle money, its all about self control, and having respect for yourself to not be broke. so, if you lack these things, then what will you do about the rest of your life? Well, you already saw what the answer is:nothing. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/7/2009 4:57:26 PM |
There's no difference from when I was 300 lbs working at Mcdonalds making 20,000.00 a year.
The only obvious conclusion I can draw from that is that you assumed making those changes would change the type of women you met. You only changed the external, so it would infer that wasn't the most important change to make.
You changed what you are, you didn't change who you are. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/8/2009 9:22:20 AM | I hear you,
Don't worry about it. Online dating is pretty much the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating anyway. You should go at least a year only dating women you meet in the real world, just to get some perspective on how warped things are around here. You need to get an enjoyable routine in your life, and meet women as part of that.
If you are at the gym a lot, notice nice looking women there, smile at them, and if they smile back go up and introduce yourself. This applies to anywhere else that you hang out. It works best at places that are 'your spot', where you are comfortable and confident in yourself. It also helps if she sees you around there a bit, so she doesn't think you are a creepy stranger.
Don't let women use you, or you will just keep attracting the type of women who are professional users, such as strippers. Don't jump to offer to pay for her things, don't try to impress her with gifts and expensive dates. A decent woman isn't going to be put off that you don't spend $100's of dollars on her, and the type of women who that is important to is going to expect your wallet to always be open for her. The first few dates should be about getting to know each other anyway, so just keep it light & fun, and don't spend a lot.
As far as living at home, that is a trick. There is a very negative connotation for guys who are still living at home at your age, so I'd make that a priority. I'd avoid another female roommate, and find a guy to split rent with. Hopefully the whole 'I look so good, I don't have to pay rent!' thing won't come into play that way.
Congratulations on improving yourself. It will take a little while for your own self esteem and self worth to catch up with the changes you have made. Once it does, don't sell yourself short, and don't date women who haven't put as much effort into their lives as you have put into yours. This is going to shrink the dating pool for you a huge amount, but it is worth it to not have to deal with the worthless lazy liars and users. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/8/2009 10:36:17 AM | | There is no UP side to being a pessimist. You just attract more negativism. Concentrate on what you have going for you. Build on the positive. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/8/2009 10:58:48 AM | You changed everything on the outside but haven't quite worked it through to your inside.
You're still using your paycheck to attract and keep friends, and those kinds of "friends" are just users.
I suspect the girls you met at the bar got a lot of drinks on you, too.
It doesn't sound like your self-esteem has improved nor your self-image. Might want to think about that. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/8/2009 11:05:46 AM | Good stuff in here for everyone to pick up on. The part in the original post that caught my eye, he has three lady friends he has messaged on here to no response, but that he has also met in real life and they keep in touch and chat etc.
It says someting about the differences in online and real life meeting and greating. It says a lot about how hard it is to get the real picture of someone based on a few thumbnail pictures and black and white text in some made to fit everyone boxes.
Sometimes sites like these should only be used as a means fo getting contact information, and then make that next meeting in person. Enjoy and happy fishing folks.
Bill | |
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toy09
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Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:45:35 PM | | DO YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF? EVENTUALLY, THE RIGHT WOMAN WILL COME ALONG. DON'T SETTLE BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WHEN SHE SHOWS UP! KEEP IMPROVING YOURSELF, YOU WILL BENEFIT AND EVENTUALLY SO WILL SHE. | |
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| I really don't get it....
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:12:41 PM |
... I moved in with a friend ... she walked around half naked and shook her butt a little ...
Um OP...you made changes and this was the result? And you're complaining?
*shakes head*
You changed what you 'felt' would attract a 'better' (different) type of woman. One who is hung up on looks, money, etc. Now you know better...follow the above posters' advice re. changing from the inside out.
Look at it this way...you've already proven change will attract those that you've become and can offer. Become what you really desire and attract that 'type'. JMO.
~ds~ | |
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