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Posted: 6/7/2009 4:36:13 PM | We all like to hand out advice and points of view to each other on this site, whether it be the relationship forums or ask a girl/guy forums, and it’s definitely a good thing. It’s like a community of rodeo clowns to pick us up when were down.
But how much of the advice that we give out do we actually apply to ourselves and our own lives?
I for one have been guilty of giving perfectly good advice but no following it myself, it would be interesting to know what others peeps think about this…
I mean, to a certain extent do we know what we should be doing but somehow block ourselves and seek security/advice from the forums first… | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 4:40:18 PM | Idiots apply it to the others seldom liking yone reality
thing is this is explicable to a minority
if one catches ma drift
wicked yawns and falls asleep
surrounded by muffins never the inane | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 4:41:50 PM | I agree. It is something I have noticed right in begining when I started to read forums.
I also believe I have posted about it. What also clear is that some people just see a negativity in someone's action to a a high degree even if things are not clear at all. There are also many who like to attack OPs | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 4:50:50 PM | That's a good point, but everyone finds it easier to give out advice objectively as a third party when he/she is not personally involved. To turn around and apply that same advice to our lives is a different story all together.
As an example, Ann Landers gave out great marital advice for years but ended up going through a divorce herself.
People reading the forums still benefit from the variety of opinions. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 5:02:18 PM | | ha! It was a lyric in a song I was listening to when writing the thread... seemed like it fit at the time :s | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 5:19:23 PM | Most people can easily see the problems in others' situations and may or may not see the similarities in their own choices and behavior. Like people one gives advice to, we know the "intelligent" thing to do and may choose to roll the dice anyway; the key is knowing that you made that choice and not blaming the other party or the situation for your subsequent problems.
There are also people that are totally incapable of seeing their own deal. They can read a post that could have been written by them, post an intelligent response, and never consider applying it to their own lives. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 5:46:15 PM | Advice that is unaffected by emotion or personal involvement is the best. That's what I think is so great about these forums.....you can get really good, non-biased opinions from those who have no emotional connection to your issue, allowing them to more clearly see the full picture (as much as you offer here).
I can give logical, sound advice all day long....but when it comes to my own life? I can't see the forest for the trees. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 5:47:47 PM | I have been guilty of knowing the "correct" behavior, but , not being able to apply it to myself, for whatever reason...I tend to believe this is a disconnect between my brain (intellect), and my heart (feelings)..I usually know what my flaws are, and often how I should correct them..but, can't always practically do it.
I don't post often to "asking for advice" threads...partly for that reason...and partly because I am aware that what works for me, doesn't necessarily work for others...and sometimes because I don't know the answer either...
I will say, I have never asked for advice on here...but, I have learned a lot of valuable things from posters whose opinions I respect, and sometimes even from those I'm not that crazy about...and I have implemented some of it...especially things I have learned about men and how they process and look at things. It has also helped me reaffirm those things I always thought, but, wasn't sure if I was the only one.
For all the negatives that can be said about the forums...they have also been a very positive force for me...why I'm still hanging around... | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 6:00:28 PM | I have solved this problem by trying to never give any sound advice AT ALL! If it can't be said in some funny, sarcastic way, then why bother saying it at all? As for anyone of the suckers who may actually take any advice I give ... you get what you pay for! | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 6:10:33 PM |
what's a batten?
Merriam-Webster
1 a to grow fat b. b to feed gluttonously
2 to grow prosperous especially at the expense of another - usually used with on transitive verb
Now what the hell does Batten have to do with the question OP ask? | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 6:10:37 PM | | Maybe we all find it easier to give advice than to consistently follow it ourselves because we can be objective about another but it's hard to do that for ourselves. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 6:12:38 PM |
If it can't be said in some funny, sarcastic way, then why bother saying it at all?
True dat!
Most threads I post in are about situations I've never been in, and likely never will be. I just like finding out how some people arrive at their conclusions. I seldom actually give advice, I just try to provide another perspective for people to consider during their decision making process. In that aspect... yes, I take my own advice. I typically don't make decisions until I've considered as many angles as I can possibly imagine. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 6:31:26 PM | For me, giving advice and giving an opinion are two different things. Most of the advice I give I'd learned from experience and some from education, plus I'm one of those people that others seek out when they want advice so it seems to be part of my personality. Yes, I do follow the majority of my own advice, like I said, I got a lot of it from experience. But not all things asked here are something that is part of my experience, still common sense is pretty obvious when advising someone. I mean I don't have been beaten for 20 years to know to tell someone to either get out of it or face up to liking the attention all the drama brings.
Now my opinion, that's my gut reaction to something I read, and it doesn't have to match anyone else's or be what someone is going to take as advice, it's just my opinion on a topic. If I come across as being negative to an OP then I found the topic or the OP or both to be pretty negative. It's not my job to pander to people who post, if they can't take disagreeing comments then they have more issues than can be helped on a forum on a dating site. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:01:46 PM | | It is a lot easier to tell people write good advice than to act on it. I think a lot of us are guilty with being lazy in some aspects of our lives. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:08:18 PM | You mean the baton? I just can't read the title.
Why do people who can't spell give spelling advice?
Typos?
I heard this saying long ago. I have a feeling it applies to this circumstance:
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Many people aspire to goals they cannot attain. It is true that some good advice is hard for the giver to follow. Since the most common answer on POF is; "Kick them to the curb," I will assume that most of us eventually got it right, or we wouldn't be here. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:08:27 PM | | The advice I would give I would follow. I learn from past experiences. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:24:59 PM | If it can't be said in some funny, sarcastic way, then why bother saying it at all?
But why waste such good sarcasm on such a grumpy audience? I rarely see any props given for the good stuff.
It's a tough crowd, I tell ya. I don't get any respect."I remember the time I was kidnapped. They sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof." ~ Dangerfield. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:39:47 PM | | Giving advice makes me feel wise and helpful. Following my own advice makes me feel stupid for needing it, and distrustful that I know what I am talking about, since if I am so smart why do I need my advice in the first place, and how come the fact that I do confuses me? Wait, I know the answer. But, I'll ignore it. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:42:55 PM | I notice the rather bluntness on advice from this site in comparison to a self help group type environment. Some people are projecting their own garbage when offering advice. Some people do as you say offer advise they don't live up to themselves this called rationalization. I can justify why my advice to you doesn't apply to me.
Lastly, some people offer good advice based on the information of the poster or OP. I am not sure what OP means. I assume if we really care about giving accurate advice then you will ask questions in order to make sure you correctly understand the perspective of the person asking for advice. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 7:52:58 PM | I'm like 80 years old. I have pretty much seen it and done it all...that which I have posted in response to here in POF forums.
I would not give my advice/opinion outside of my willingness to exercise in my own life. | |
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Posted: 6/7/2009 8:27:46 PM | I thought the part about the rodeo clowns was hilarious.
Personally I think the people most qualified to give relationship advice, are those who are in a progressively healthy relationship.
So why do we take advice from people who are divorced and single? While granddad and his wife who have been married for 50 years look on with consternation...
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