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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/8/2009 12:51:28 PM | Ok, I've gotten myself into a really odd situation and I need advice desperately. I began dating a girl off POF back in December. We were getting along great, but a month into it she found out she was pregnant from a man she had been seeing just prior to me. So, our relationship essentially ended. However, I felt bad for her. She is currently unemployed, has twins at home and now another set of twins on the way and is getting no help from the fathers. I began checking on her and talking to her and in the process we basically became best friends. It has gotten to the point where we see each other almost every night. We do everything a dating couple would do except for the intimacy. I've developed strong feeling for her and I've told her this. In fact we've talked about it a few times and her response is "I can see myself being with you eventually but I have too much going on right now to even consider getting into a relationship." I could accept that except that if she so much as thinks I'm talking to other girls she gets really jealous. She has told me flat out to never text another girl in front of her. I'm just really confused. It's like she doesn't want me, but she doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Her actions and what she says seem very contradictory. She says she doesn't want a relationship, but she is extremely posessive of me and she gets paranoid anytime I even mention another girl. What really concerns me is that with her being unemployed I'm the one who pays anytime we go out. I've helped her cover a few bills and have bought her things she needs for the babies, etc. I'm trying to do what any good friend would do, but I'm concerned she's playing with my emotions just to keep me around for emotional and financial support perhaps even subconciously. Part of me says it's too complicated and I should run like the wind, but then another part of me says she really does have a lot going on and I should back off and continue to see how things play out. I enjoy every minute I spend with her, but I'm becoming very impatient. I just know if I sever all ties with her I'll feel guilty because she would be devestated and she doesn't need any more let downs right now, but this has been going on for almost 6 months now and something needs to change very soon.
What do you all think? | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/8/2009 12:54:57 PM |
Part of me says it's too complicated and I should run like the wind, That would be the part I'd listen to.
Her mess is her own doing and you know she' s using you. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/8/2009 1:04:57 PM | She is having her SECOND set of twins. She knew what caused the first set and obviously didn't protect herself from it happening again. She CAN get financial assistance from the fathers by taking them to court. Seems it's easier to latch onto you.
If I were you, I would run like Forrest Gump! Any woman who goes from one man to the next like they were dishes on a buffet line, would worry the hell out of me. Any woman who would even think of having a second set of twins when she cannot financially take care of the two children she already has, would worry the hell out of me.
If you want to get into all this drama, go for it. You would have to have a serious 'caretaker' mentality to want to be a part of this mess. Listen to the part of you that says 'Run like the wind'. It's obviously the only part of you that is sane. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:30:53 AM | I have a bit of a different idea... Why don't you sit her down and talk to her about your concerns... You are growing fond of her, she is in an extremely deep pickle, and being preggers can make any woman nuts.. Well at least that is what I am told, I was really very normal during my pregs, so I can only go by the nuts I have seen... Sorry I digress...
If you are her friend, as a friend you wouldn't be paying for everything, or taking care of bills she can't take care of... You would be telling her how to get assistance, and how to get the support she needs from the fathers... Father two is off the hook until the babies are born, just how it is...
Perhaps she "realistically" knows she is NOT relationship material, however at the same time the two of you seem to be having one, especially with her demands of your exclusive attention...
The hard part is up to you, which means with twins, and more twins or NOT, you need to sit her down and have a serious talk with her... You need to SPELL OUT how you are feeling. The paying bills, outings, and things for the baby is ON YOU, unless she has asked you for these things... Thus it is up to you to stop being a money tree, and realize that a real friend doesn't put themselves that far out on a financial tree for someone else...
You are right, she REALLY DOES have a lot going on in her life, and YOU CAN be an actual friend, and let her know that you like her as a friend, but that it is NOT fair to you as a friend to be expected NOT to date, and or have friendships, and relationships with other women... Remind her, that she has made it clear she is NOT ready, nor can she afford to be in a relationship, so this is just how things are...
She is obviously a big girl, and preggers or not CAN and NEEDS to put on her big girl, with panel front and all pants, and accept the fact she doesn't OWN you, and or has a right to place demands on you like she is...
One other thing is this, you have to ask yourself WHY you feel so compelled to be at her place every evening... Once again that is on you, and something you have to answer for yourself, she doesn't own that...
Remember you can be a friend, or one that is a money tree, YOU have the control over the purse strings, as well as how much time you spend with her... I am sure it is NICE for her to have such an overly devoted friend, but at the same time YOU deserve to have a life, (you're a real handsome guy, doesn't seem like it would be hard to have a sweety that isn't with child of someone elses by your side) and since hers is such a mess of her own doing, you really can't be expected to fix it for free...
There's a lot of things you have stated, however it seems to me you give her to much control over YOUR TIME, WHAT you do, and your purse strings... However if her life is chaotic and stressful now, it isn't going to be improving any time soon after the babies are born... They could be early, which would be a new issue and MORE STRESS and COST. One time, and once again one baby at a time is a LOT of work, two and there is no rest for the weary, let alone having another set of two, which you didn't even say how old they are...
It is a very sad situation, but not one you helped create, nor should be a self prescribed surrogate daddy, and kind of BF... I am all for being a friend, but what you have described IS NOT what actual friends do...
Good luck | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:28:10 AM | Something is going to change real soon.
She'll have four mouths to feed.
The only odd thing about this whole thing is that you are unable to see that you are being played like the fool you are acting like.
If you do eventually get super lucky and this woman finally allows you access to her fertile womb, you're going have an instant family with two sets of twins from two different fathers to support for the rest of your life, not to mention the kids that you'll want with her.
Sounds quaint to me. All that's missing is the white picket fence.
All the best to you. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 2:50:46 AM | WOW! Where do I start...
I think you are a rare/great guy who for even THINKING about staying in that type of situation...don't get me wrong, I truly feel a baby is a gift from God...BUT this woman comes across as the type who forms a pattern...an irresponsible one. There are many women (not all) who think nothing of bringing a child into the world when they are not even independantly stable enough to care for them!
Keep in mind 4 mouths to feed is a HUGE responsibility. And that's not even counting yours and hers, so 6 mouths. Do you wish to be working poor or middle class/comfortable? Do you have the type of career/income where you are confident you can have a lifestyle where you aren't constantly financially struggling in the event you went further...and that's not even counting if you want your own kids!
Another thing to consider...there are 2 sets of fathers that you could eventually have to worry about. No-good men like them who vanish once they get a woman pregnant are totally known to suddenly reappear/cause drama once they know another man has stepped in to do the job they know they should have done in the first place (whether they maintained a romantic relationship with the mom or not).
You should not be paying her bills, I think she's using you. If she's pregnant with twins and already has twins, the government CANNOT turn her away with providing services for her family...I don't know what she's telling you, but for all you know, she's taking your money while she getting benefits doing lord knows what.
I think she's using you as a safeguard...I can't think of many decent men who are going to flock to an unemployed woman with 4 kids by different men who's never been married...even if you were wealthy! Life is too hard! We are currently in one of te worse ecomonic situations since the depression...what intelligent, single woman who already has mouths to feed puts themselves in this situation AGAIN!
I think she's playing the hot/cold game, it would be too blatant to hold on to you for dear life, so she's maybe trying to play the game that she's not sure, so she doesn't come across as wanting you for what she can get out of you. Also, how do you know she actually did not know she was pregnant when she met you?! Did she sleep with her ex and then meet you the next week!?!
BE CAREFUL...and for your sake and her kids that are already born, take a step back...you don't want them or you to become emotionally attached...which would make the situation harder.
Good luck! | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 2:51:15 AM | WOW! Where do I start...
I think you are a rare/great guy who for even THINKING about staying in that type of situation...don't get me wrong, I truly feel a baby is a gift from God...BUT this woman comes across as the type who forms a pattern...an irresponsible one. There are many women (not all) who think nothing of bringing a child into the world when they are not even independantly stable enough to care for them!
Keep in mind 4 mouths to feed is a HUGE responsibility. And that's not even counting yours and hers, so 6 mouths. Do you wish to be working poor or middle class/comfortable? Do you have the type of career/income where you are confident you can have a lifestyle where you aren't constantly financially struggling in the event you went further...and that's not even counting if you want your own kids!
Another thing to consider...there are 2 sets of fathers that you could eventually have to worry about. No-good men like them who vanish once they get a woman pregnant are totally known to suddenly reappear/cause drama once they know another man has stepped in to do the job they know they should have done in the first place (whether they maintained a romantic relationship with the mom or not).
You should not be paying her bills, I think she's using you. If she's pregnant with twins and already has twins, the government CANNOT turn her away with providing services for her family...I don't know what she's telling you, but for all you know, she's taking your money while she getting benefits doing lord knows what.
I think she's using you as a safeguard...I can't think of many decent men who are going to flock to an unemployed woman with 4 kids by different men who's never been married...even if you were wealthy! Life is too hard! We are currently in one of te worse ecomonic situations since the depression...what intelligent, single woman who already has mouths to feed puts themselves in this situation AGAIN!
I think she's playing the hot/cold game, it would be too blatant to hold on to you for dear life, so she's maybe trying to play the game that she's not sure, so she doesn't come across as wanting you for what she can get out of you. Also, how do you know she actually did not know she was pregnant when she met you?! Did she sleep with her ex and then meet you the next week!?!
BE CAREFUL...and for your sake and her kids that are already born, take a step back...you don't want them or you to become emotionally attached...which would make the situation harder.
Good luck! | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:45:05 AM | I think it is admirable that you are good friend to her. But you are being used.
She can get help from the courts to make the absent fathers help her. Why she is not persuing this seems lame to me. You are started to care deeply for her. And if you don't make yourself back away from this situation,my friend you are looking at possibly getting badly hurt.
I would do some serious soul searching. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:52:36 AM | CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BUNDLE OF JOY! TWINS--THAT'S GREAT!!!
Where can we send the baby shower gifts? Oh...what's that you say? You are NOT the baby's daddy? You just play one on TV??? Read my response and understand that I'm not going to give you the "how wonderful a man you are" response because I think you're not that wonderful. You're kinda...dumb right now. And I say that with as much love as I can for someone who doesn't know you.
Look "Mr. Tax Accountant who can be brutally honest." I'm gonna be BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOU. WTF are you doing? Are you a social worker or someone who wants to date?
Your profile says you're seeking a princess right? Well if that's the case, ANY woman who would consider herself a princess is not gonna be loading you down with kids that aren't yours.
She doesn't want SEX with you. She HAS the relationship but she doesn't want to sleep with you. She knows good damn and well you are hooked because you're a responsible, caring man. Well now is the time to stop being all of that and understand that she is USING YOU BECAUSE YOU LET HER. She doesn't want you to text another woman when you're with her? Easy to solve--stop being around her.
She's NOT your problem. You want to help her? Print out a list of social services contacts and give them to her. Tell her that you're more than willing to take her to an appt to see someone about getting help and then give her $20 to get home. Then stop talking to her, stop dealing with her and just stop playing daddy. You're not her man, you're not her husband, you're not the person you want to be with her. Sticking around because you think it might change will only make it worse for you.
You're going to get your heart broken love. She's going to use you as much as she can financially and then when the babies' daddy floats to the surface after the kids are born, she will cut you down and sic him on you.
Baby...you're being used so badly that it will hurt like hell when she tosses you aside. Stop this--you feel SORRY for her--and that's ok. But that feeling shouldn't be the driving factor of this relationship. She has no feelings for you except as a gravy train that she plans to ride until you're broke down.
Do YOU really want to be the guy who comes back out here and tells us how she broke your heart and now won't talk to you because the babies daddy showed up proclaiming his life and that he made a mistake, blah, blah, blah? Do you????
Let it go NOW. She's due anytime now and are you really going to pay for her kids to be brought into the world and they're not yours? You don't have a relationship that's dating with this woman at ALL. You have a woman who knows a soft touch when she touches one...and will do any and everything she can to make sure you don't go away.
Do yourself a favor and let this go. It's so not fair to the rest of the real women who wouldn't put you through this drama--and you'll be scarred for the next one. And then will post a "nice guy" thread and the people will remind you of this whol fiasco. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:56:57 AM | You're being used. She knows the second that you find a girl for yourself, the money train is going to grind to a halt, as well as all the places you take her and pay for.
She already has two kids and two more on the way. For the love of all that is holy, wake up and run like hell. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:06:19 AM | Her actions and what she says seem very contradictory.
Red flag.
....she is extremely posessive of me and she gets paranoid anytime I even mention another girl.
Red flag (assuming your motivation behind mentioning other girls is legit and non-manipulative).
...but I'm concerned she's playing with my emotions just to keep me around for emotional and financial support perhaps even subconciously.
Red flag. Listen to your God given gift of discernment.
Part of me says it's too complicated and I should run like the wind, but then another part of me says she really does have a lot going on.....
Having "a lot going on" is not the best foundation to establish a relationship on.
I just know if I sever all ties with her I'll feel guilty because she would be devestated and she doesn't need any more let downs right now...
Would severing ties once the twins are born be a better option?
IMHO you are quickly digging yourself a hole that will be even more difficult to dig yourself out of later. My suggestion is it's best to get packing and quick. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:34:17 AM | Right OK here's the deal - first of all you do have feelings for her, whether you are playing at being "best friends" or not. She also has feelings for you, some of which may be dependance, given what you've said about your tendency to put your hand in your pocket and help her out, mind you perhaps she cooks for you or helps you out in other ways to make the relationship more mutual - you don't say.
You badly need to sort out your feelings properly. If you love this woman enough to wait out her pregnancy, then take on her and her 4 children by other men (with 4 of this age, she's likely to be unemployed for some time), then you need to take that decision. If you don't, then you need to cut a great many of the strings you have attaching you to this woman. You don't need to abandon her in terms of friendship (and I realise that you would feel this difficult given that 2 men have abandoned her already - but I have to ask the question why is that??), but you do need to take the decision regarding whether you wish to abandon the possibility of a relationship with her in the long term.
You are entitled to have a sex life. If she doesn't want a relationship, then gently explain to her that you are entitled to one with someone else, and if she doesn't want to fulfil that role then she must stop making demands on you and attempting to control what you do.
Friendship is one thing - control is another.
You do sound like a very nice bloke, so good luck to you. For what its worth, as a bit older than yourself, I'd say you're worth a bit more than the situation you are currently in. If you can change it to suit both of you, all the best.
Minx x | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:36:06 AM | Its great that she has you, but OP you've got to start distancing yourself from her.
Look at it this way-- are you taking advantage of her situation so that you have her captive? She's down now and couldn't be lower, and she can't get away, so you're sticking around so you can have her? Yes, she's using you but are you using her?
To be in love, you've got to have a healthy relationship, and yours is not. This thing you have with her could only end badly -- you wait for her and she still dumps you, or worse still, she marries the closest fool to her --you -- and takes all that you have and blames you for all the trouble men got her into.
If anything, start being a phone friend, don't pay any bills--because if you do it once she'll start to expect you to pay more -- and go back to her much later after the babies are born. Does she have any family?
I fell in love with a woman that 'had too much going on', and it was a long slow painful break. If she's telling you that now, then she wouldn't make the choice to be with you if she wasn't having the babies...
You're being so nice, and you'll pay for that! | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:45:35 AM | Let me clarify one thing I should have mentioned in my original post. She had recently become unemployed when I met her, but she was in the process of finishing her degree. She chose to concentrate on school for the last semester as she had enough money in savings to get by for a few months. I never understood that logic given the current economy, but it seemed to be working for her. During those few months she always insisted on paying her own way. We would split everything 50/50 or else I'd pay one night and she the next or whatever. She did not come off as the type of girl who wanted to be taken care of. Well, since she is now pregnant there is no way for her to work and her savings has run out. I guess the point being, I've only been paying for everything for about the past 3-4 months. Prior to that I never felt used by her at all. If me paying for everything for her had been the trend from the start I would have run a long time ago. I really don't think it was her intention to use me, but I'm worried that we've fallen into that pattern which is why she keeps me around.
Also, as far as two sets of twins go, that doesn't really bother me long term. I adore her kids and am somewhat excited about the ones on the way. I am financially able to support them if it ever came to that. I do not want a ready made family and going from single to a family of 6 would be a bit much, but if we ever got to that point I would be open to it.
As far as her getting support, the father of her current twins does pay child support, but it's not much. The father of the current set will have to be taken to court once they are born. Right now he is having nothing to do with her because he insists that he isn't the father. He thinks I'm the father. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:57:50 AM | Well, I think Nexthyme's message to you is worth re-reading -- she brings up some excellent points.
I'm going to focus on this
"I can see myself being with you eventually but I have too much going on right now to even consider getting into a relationship." I would ask her what it would mean to her to be in a relationship: to her it seems that it could mean unprotected sex followed by pregnancy and abandonment -- it's hardly surprising if she's not up for another round of that.
The pregnancies do suggest an irresponsible attitude on her part and someone who behaves irresponsibly and then behaves towards you as she has done could well be trying to minimise her future responsibility -- you are very supportive and helpful and she has no emotional commitment or responsibility towards you so long as she maintains the current non-relationship status.
I would challenge her on how she would define a relationship -- point out that the amount of time you spend together and the way you confide in each other (I assume you d0) is the essence of intimacy and relationship. Ask her what she's afraid of.... Point out that you being around makes her life easier, not harder and that your idea of being in a relationship is to make things happier and easier for both of you, not to demand and expect things of each other.
Maybe she's using you, but that much is up to you -- don't be giving with expectations attached -- give only what you can freely give. Spend time with her if you enjoy it for what it is, not because of what you wish it might be... Talk to her about what is and find out her fears of what it might become. Hopes and fears are so powerful, they can drive us far more than what is, especially when we don't know what they are. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 7:40:47 AM | I really like your post rune3. What you are saying is more or less exactly what I am feeling. I do the things I do for her without expecting anything in return. When I pay to take her out I'm benefiting from it to by being out with her and having a good time. She has never asked me for money or help. I just do it for the sake of her and her children. And we do confide in each other. She knows things about me that no other person knows and I think the same can be said of her. There is definiately a bond there that goes deeper than money be it friendship or whatever.
I am definiately worried though that she is using me....it didn't start out that way but I think right now she is looking out for #1 and that isn't me. She's got someone to keep her entertained, someone she can talk to, someone to help her and she doesn't have to give anything in return. Her statement of "I can see myself with you but I have too much going on right now" use to make sense. Her life is about to change drastically. As far as sex goes I wouldn't even want to sleep with her right now. However, after all this time it just doesn't make sense any more. The way I see it, we ARE in a relationship, she just chooses not to call it that. It all comes down to the original question, should I wait things out and see what happens or is 7 months of a weird relationship constantly in limbo long enough. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:07:32 AM | I think, OP, that you're going to agree with which ever opinions support the rationalization that you've already thought up for yourself. You're going to make excuse after excuse for her.
Was she sleeping with you when you first met before she found out that she was pregnant? Did she want a relationship with you then?
Maybe she did pay her way the first 3-4 months. Isn't the first 3-4 months only a time period to find out what someone is really all about? If she had any inkling in the beginning that she was pregnant, mightn't she have purposely laid the foundation for your current situation? You would be surprised at how far a manipulative person would go to effectively manipulate. That's how intelligent people are conned everyday.
I also think that there is a bit of codependence going on here. Maybe you feel secure in this relationship because you don't think that she can leave you. Maybe you are trying to control her much in the same way as she is controlling you. I don't believe the whole nice guy theory. A truly nice person is able to spread goodwill because he/she has a positive self image. Codependency stems from insecurity.
Maybe the question that we all assumed you were asking ("am I being used? Should I run from this situation?") isn't what you were asking at all. Maybe you just want to know why she won't sleep with you? When this will become a real relationship? Whether you should try to convince her that you're already in a relationship? When will she come around?
I don't know. You'll have to ask her. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:17:25 AM | | Bottom line is this. She is a whore looking for a free ride. If you want to be here friend do it, but that's where it stops! Do not give her a dime! This skank should be with the father of both sets of twins every night. Not with you. Stop acting like a woman, and act like a man, GET THE **** OUT!!! Not your problem! | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:24:40 AM | Dude, what the hell are you doing? She has two sets of twins from different fathers! Wht did this women not use birth-controll? Not very smart, if you ask me. There was a radio show host whos show featured sex and relationships. Tom Lycus was his name. He had some very good rules about women that apply here. Here they are:
1. Always wear a condom.
2. Do not date women that have children from mulitiple partners that have never been
married.
3. Do not get a woman pregnant you do not intend to marry.
4. Do not live with a woman you do not intend to marry.
5. Always wear a condom.
After reading what you are going through they make alot of sense. Why do you want to raise someone elses kids. Why do you want to go through the crap you are with this woman? You have to remove your heart and****from this situation and think about what you are doing. Best to you. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:26:35 AM | Okay, you are an absolute ****ing idiot! Clarify one thing? WHAT? Are you trying to convince the POF population that you are not a complete and total idiot or are you trying to convince yourself.
After reading your second post I want to apologize to all men on your behalf.
Get on your bike and ride into a ****ing tree! You are an idiot and thankfully you are not having kids on your own. 2 twins, 2 baby daddy's and 1 idiot (YOU)
GROW A PAIR!!!!! | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:30:00 AM |
I am definiately worried though that she is using me....it didn't start out that way but I think right now she is looking out for #1 and that isn't me. She's got someone to keep her entertained, someone she can talk to, someone to help her and she doesn't have to give anything in return.
Freaking alarms are going off in your head, and you can't even hear them. On second thought, marry her. You both deserve each other. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:44:24 AM | First of all, listen to yourself and what you have written. You sound like a very kind, compassionate man. Your best instincts have come to the fore and you are feeling sorry for this woman. Let me tell you, you are being played like a fish and you need to cut bait NOW.
As you say..RUN LIKE THE WIND. Those children (and the woman) are not your responsibility. She needs to be collecting support from the fathers, not you.
I can tell you from personal experience that if you attach yourself to a possessive, needy person it can make your life a living hell. I lived with one for 23 years before I finally got the good sense to leave.
Do what you need to do now and move on. Good luck to you. | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:55:29 AM | you know -- whatever happened to abortions? It seems if a woman gets preggers she's having it -- does anyone 'take care of it' anymore?
She seems a good candidate--unless she's after the $ | |
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| I need advice on a weird situation
Posted: 6/9/2009 9:02:34 AM | OMG...I wish this thread was going on in person...we need to knock some sense into you!
What person in their RIGHT mind(unless they are upper-middle class with A LOT of $$$ in the bank, and I mean something more than a few grand, which probably wasn't even the case with this woman) would quit her job to finish up the last little bit of college...hello!?! The economy has been bad for over a year now! And she already had two kids...I don't know of any single parent with two kids who would quit their job, even if they hated it! If she lasted this long going to school and working, why would she do that as hard as times are...the economy isn't going to even start to improve until the end of this year/early next!
You just stated you sense you're being used...you sound like one of those weak women in a bad relationship on one of those ghetto/trailor trash talk shows who complain about the situation and say "but I love him!!"
The more you make comments, the more it makes me feel you have already made your decision, yet you know it's the wrong one. Honestly, I think the people in this thread care about you more than you care about yourself!
You said you had the $$ to take care of her and her kids if you got to that point...so you make enough money/have enough assets and investments to live a SOLID middle class life...so unless you live in the deep south where things are cheaper, you need to make around $100,000 to live a comfortable middle class life...get ready to buy that 5 bedroom/2 bathroom house if you don't already have it!
Hmmm, I'm college educated with 2 degrees...can I get pregnant and will you come take care of me!?! Just saying'! | |
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