| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:20:33 AM | Go get a "real" job
Is all I ever hear
Well let me tell you mister
Things aren't always so clear
Because these bureaucratic **stards
Will not let you get by so easy
You have to jump hoops and roll over
To stay on the roll these days
Because they don't give you enough to make it
Cut you off every other day
Sure it covers the diapers and electricity
But how the **** is my rent supposed to get paid?
Trying to go to school
And keep those ****es satisfied
Who always schedule my appointments during class
Then quarrel at me when I have to change the time
It is hard to find
A job with just the right hours
And Heaven forbid
If you knew my real desires
You'd know I'd rather just stay home
And take care of my little man
Tired of the bullshit daycare
Tired of not being able to take a stand
Against the institutional walls
So high and strong
The freaking game I must play
Just to keep keeping on
And people stare at me funny
When I'm on the corner with a hat
But I sit here worried to death
Keep thinking maybe that
I can pull it off
It's just three months
I'm sure everything will be okay
Despite the fact those impatient****
Are on the verge of dicontinuing for me
The sub-standard health care
And the daycare, which you see
My son cries upon entering
Nearly each and every day
If he won't walk with them
They tug his hand along the way
And I don't want my kid being raised in a herd
And I am sick of coming home so damn grumpy and tired.
This too will pass
Yeah, we both will survive
But, please don't tell me
I'm getting a free ride
Because my family is suffering
Right along side
The hardest barrier to break down
You guessed it: my pride...
So when that big-time so-so tells me
Yes, EVERYONE has to work
I can't help but think to myself
What a stupid freaking jerk
Because our children are suffering
And we are all blind to it
I have to go get my angel out of bed
I'm sure you've heard enough of this shit. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 4:45:21 AM | don't buy into anyone's judgement.....
especially your own
when you know your truth
whether old or in your youth
with another or a single mother.....
remember the days
women could stay at home
and be with others in community...
the whole group would raise
our children lovingly
supporting each other completely
and never question our destiny....
but these days
we have to fight for re-entry
into a system that is empty....
of love
| |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 7:58:25 AM | Sure enough
I'm taking my exam
The phone vibrates:
It's that blessed woman
Telling me on a message
That I have to miss class
To keep her appointment
Now what a dumb azz
---------------------------------------
I remember well the first time I saw
Those orange and yellow papers
My momma's purse
They fell out
How I cried.
We were never "that" poor
Always a little above the line.
We had to come take care of Granny
No solitude could I find
Scraping past the mountains
The clannish mentality so prone to exist
Swallowed in a sea of uncertainty
Craving a taste of acceptance
Receiving more torture
The mountains enclosed my heart
smothering my needs
I chose to embrace the Devil
Invite him into my home
Feed him at my table
provided by orange papers
needed to survive
Common way of life
When the only thing you've got
Is land they're tearing down
So reverse from my "true upbringing"
It's no wonder that I've found
compassion and understanding
through the murky swamp of despair
what kills me most is the head-turning
Politics rule the day
The poor eek out a way
while the kudzu vines overtake the elms
sycamores grow tall and proud
forked prints in paths along the hill
point the way to the silent still
Mountain embraces provide
No need to run and hide
Shame, nakedness, Calvinistic tendencies...
all disappear when it's just the mountain and me...
It had been a hard row
minds forever impacted
by the misery and beauty
within the protective bosom
of time long ago
that has still yet to be
Thank you, sweet Jesus
for my mountain tragedy | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:23:22 AM | Lo! The heart is a wilderness,
seeking refuge from the dark,
from all that is unseen!
Ahhhh...the blindness
of the sighted!
The deafness
of the hearing!
That should the mountains
be my haven, where my tears
hide in the mists,
solitude shall strengthen me,
my path shall be clear!
But....Am I brave enough
to follow it??
Freedom road!
You CAN succeed! Quitters never win!...and winners never quit!
Godbless you Sarah! Never give up! | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:49:21 AM | We all have a song to sing
tasted bitter fruits
shoved down our throats
and told ... be grateful
Sing your song Sarah
and we will sing with you
you are not alone
as you may feel at times
Stay strong for the angel in your arms. Sunshine* | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:15:19 AM | Being a mother
I so understand
What this world tugs at and does demand
Sarah, young mother
You are fighting so
To keep your family from being tossed to and fro
That awareness in itself
Will take you to a place
that is best
So please dear Sarah, let your mind rest
Rest in the knowledge
That you will do what needs to be done
Do take some time for yourself
Laugh and have some fun.
Something I always try to remember
And keep close at hand
Is a time for quiet when life seems to be at command
For me when chaos does hit
I find a quiet place and just sit
Listen to the birds sing
Watch the tree tops sway
Find a quiet moment just to pray
Somehow all that's within
will leave for that moment in the day
Life is never easy
Noone ever made us that guarantee
But I do know
I have a God who watches out for me
Oh yes sometimes I do question
But oh so many times I have begun a new day
Able to face the challenge that comes along the way
Sarah, this is a good place to grow,
with so many people with whom to share
Open your heart,
Their words show they care
Many of them have helped me on my way
Opening a whole slew of words to say
LOL Guess it's time to bring these thoughts to a close
I'll be standing near watching for you to compose.
Have a wonderful day! ~Wind~ | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 3:29:00 PM | There is such a fine line
Between materialism and necessity
For after all
What's the norm to some
Is nothing but hassle to me.
But my joys come
From time wasted
On songs and mysterious lovers
A violin scratching at one a.m.
The beat of my feet to N.I.N.
When you use your body
To mend the infractions
It doesn't take any money
To find the satisfaction
That money can't buy
Yet so many seek
The poet's blessed soul
Unafraid to weep. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:04:13 PM | Wow, what a great thought!
"The poet's blessed soul
Unafraid to weep"
It's taken me to the age I am
To open my soul
And let others see
What it is inside of me
You, however so young at heart
I imagine a lifetime
Of great things from which to impart
Stay open and don't let the walls go up
Continue to weep and feel
Always stay true to your heart
that is what is real | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:16:40 AM | Speaking of real
What is this I see?
Those forty year OLD men
Only 15 years senior of me?
How did that happen
Where have I been?
Can you tell me this?
My new found friend?
How I went from
That wrinkle-free nineteen year old
That made the forty year old's quiver
To this lump of clay before you
Still got what it takes to make them shiver.
But I wonder when it happened
When I suddenly became old enough
To not be jail bait,
fall in love
And all of this other silly stuff...
Because although I am still young
The reality of the situation
Is that I'm too old for most of these boys
And getting "just perfect" for the forty-year old men... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:18:41 AM | Miss Sarah
What a great question
It seems as though
Maybe the forty year olds are free to go
Whichever age direction they want
For this fifty year old has had young forty year olds taunt
You are young and should stay within your range
Cause as you get older you'll find living with an older man strange
Your intellect shows through in your thought
Someone your age will find what you offer
And will soon be love brought | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:55:59 AM | Young men are fine
For lasting relationships
That you can mold and work
And teach to exert
But I've yet to find a younger man
Who didn't need to still his hand
And experience every curvaceous inch
Rather than trying to do it in a cinch
And although we may not "really connect"
And it's probably only a passing thing
Those older guys have finally learned
The art of slow love making...
of course, then they fall asleep  | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:44:12 PM | A system empty of love
Overflowing with drugs
Medicating the "bad kids"
Allowing others to get by with it...
Wondering how much genius we've subdued
Genocide occurs amongst our youth
And the parents do it
It's sad but true...
Even scarier when you start to think
About the check they get
To bring their children to the brink
Of insanity from their trembling minds
You know damn well the studies can't find
Every loophole and side effect
It's no wonder the world is so upset.
And I saw this baby
And couldn't do a thing
I saw this child
With all his suffering.
I knew right then
Things have really got to change
You can't fix every problem
There has to be an acceptable range
Of discipline, meditation
Authority without elimination
Of the quarks and eccentricities
That make the world turn for you and me
So I pray and beg
For society to have mercy...
Let the children play
Just let the children be | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:49:53 PM | Lovin the writes here Sarah, great stuff!
Since I'm over 40's, I'll zip my lip!  | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/11/2009 8:22:25 AM | [/A system empty of love]
In my field of education
The system you describe is easy to see
Way too many kids not drug free
Parents decision when things out of control
Upon the children decisons take a toll
So many times, a child just needs
A parent whose life itself doesn't bleed
One infraction after another
Who's my dad, where's my mother?
I do hang on to a thought as each day I give
Knowing that a parent truly does want
A good life for their child to live
They may not always know how
To make that happen
So it's up to me, to us, to help show the way
So that those kids in a system lost
Don't continue to pay a cost. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:37:01 AM | My momma was a teacher
So I know your story well
Bless the world for those who care
And love the children stirring in Hell...
In fact, that's what I plan to do first
Help the people who need it the worst
From the bottom up,
Is the only way it can be.
How the children became the bottom
Is a mystery to me...
As they shuffle from bad homes to bad schools
They've become the least of our priorities...
I saw them just the other day
Of course, this one is grown now.
But, she's a very bright girl
Just never had a chance in hell.
From the molestation at home
By her dad and her uncle
From the pill-popping momma
How it makes my heart buckle.
To think of how many are lost
And no one even bothers
Just because they're poor
They turn their head and flush it away
Everything's gone with the closing of the door. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:48:53 AM | Entry for May 01, 2009
How can it be love so fast?
How can you really know
if it will truly last?
Does it really freaking matter
When it gets down to it
Whether or not you say
That dreaded four-letter word
How many past loves
Have I loved?
And not really loved at all?
Is this initial lustful need
Not the start of every other
Which came to nothing
Although I said it
I never knew for sure
And still don't
But like I said
Does it really freaking matter?
Is lustful sin
Not the same?
Are sick patterns
Allowed for the untame?
And how can anything be more beautiful
Than the first few moments
Into a long lie
That will unfurl
Recoil
And produce nothing.
But heartache and misery...
So, yes I love him
Why the **** not?
Can't even say his name
Don't know a ****ing thing
About him
or his goals
and needs...
Seeds.
They are all ****ing seeds.
I am the garden that allows them to grow.
Then they are gone.
Always happens
No time for anything different
Makes it easier I suppose
That way I can hate them for leaving
Instead of leaving long before
The very instant they start to bore
Me with their ****ing Nascar
and lazy ways
With their political ideology
Or the passing of the day.
Cause I'm a fast girl
I want someone who runs quicker...
Someone unafraid
To be burned by a flicker
And I will nurse their wounds
And heal their pride
Then they're gone
Another love has died.
So, like I said
I love them all
Who cares if it's real?
Doesn't freaking matter after all! | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:52:29 AM | April 08, 2009
"Bad Poetry Before My Eight-o'clock"
Poetry, passion, violence
Related subjects on uneven planes.
Coffee, sex, fast cars
Totally different: and yet the same game.
I've been playing nearly all my life
Still haven't got the plot quite right.
Tweaking is needed
From here on out
but how to "really" do it
Let's just say I have my doubts.
Because I like poetic coffee
And love passionate sex
But will I kill for a hot car?
Well, yeah, probably
Which kind is it?
1939 Ford Streetrod
Periwinkle w/ opalescent shimmer?
Or the red 64 1/2 Mustang
Cream leather seats
Damn it makes me quiver.
Just thinking of the day
When I am in the position
To have my two dream cars
To take them to car shows
Flaunt the beauties
That I have no idea how to fix
Only to enjoy
Like everything else in my life.
I just enjoy it while it's there
And run to someone else
when it goes wrong.
Not everything of course
I still have my songs...
In the shower, while cooking
Before the baby goes to sleep.
Damn, my poems made much more sense to me when I was a smoker...
Funny how clarification can totally fuzz things over. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:34:16 AM | I am no longer calling it "cleaning"
Surely there is a better word...
Because "clean" implies that there is an end
And let me tell you this my friend.
To the chaos and disaster
One little critter makes
There is no freedom or completion
Might as well forget it, babycakes
Because Lord knows he doesn't mean to
But it happens anyways
Lotion, water, cheerios
Constant mess and disarray
Perhaps the only comfort I receive
Is knowing that he's having a good time
Knowing that as his independence grows
Indeed so will his mind...
A woman once told me something
And from my mind it never parts:
Never wish your children grown
For when they are little,
They step on your toes
When they're grown: they walk on your heart.
And I see him in the middle of the spaghetti
That he just had to get out, oh, most definitely
And those big eyes look up at me,
Praying I don't get mad
I just can't help but sit down with him
His relief makes me glad.
And this too will pass
But "clean?" my ass
It's just rearranging the shit
Until the next time
For cleaning a house
Is nothing but an uphill climb. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:46:33 AM | Cryptic messages grace the bottom
Of the wine bottle
As it slides past my humanity
And into my bosom.
No comfort expressed
In waves of uncertainty
Resolved in the madness
Only chaos brings true peace.
Distractions satisfy
My undying need
To harvest my fruit
And implant the seed
Of humility
Justice
Love for all things...
Isn't it funny
How the slightest little memory
Can somehow induce
such offerings? | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:26:07 PM | I sit here watching my black vein
Roll across taught tendons
I remember watching from the corner
As they mixed and poured
Their destruction into a spoon
"Anybody got a cotton?"
How they could inject
Such a powerful foe
Always amazed me
Indeed, as their eyes rolled back
And artificial ecstasy overtook their hears
I stood in the corner
Afraid to go near
One shattered wench
Would contort her body
And lay flat
As to have it straight in her neck
Jugular vein
Straight to the brain
No other place to shoot
For her body was gone...
And I wonder what ever kept me
Out of such a mess
Whatever was in me
That made me different from the rest...
And I thank Him for that gift
As I watch my veins begin to shift
From a frightened girl
To a strengthened woman
Underneath my very own skin
Tanned from the sun
And grateful to be born again. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:46:38 PM | Sarah....fantastic write sweety. Hope you like this one!
Black death
in a silver spoon,
chariot to the Gods
will make you swoon,
On and on
your story is told,
the devils juice
has made you bold.
You might run,
but you can't hide,
from the demon
that lives inside.
You twist and scream
in agony's bliss,
when the spoon runs dry
and your hit is a miss!
You beg and you steal
for just one more high,
this time, the last time
to live or to die! | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:51:20 PM | sometimes i think in this way....
when wondering about the why's
and lies my life has held for me
and the troubles i've shared with humanity
and what karma has been part of my destiny....
i can see when i'm thinking clearly
that perhaps we each have responsibility
for certain aspects of humanity....
the 'good', the 'bad', and the 'ugly'....
so the things i've been through
that i would not wish upon you
were for me to experience fully
so you wouldn't need to....
and that goes for everyone mutually....
so i have not had to go to prison
nor shoot a gun or inject or smoke heroin
because it's just not things i could do
unless i was forced to to protect my children....
and those in the armed forces and political horses
do these things i wouldn't wish to
and i am grateful for their taking responsibility
for these aspects of humanity....
so between all of us,
maybe each individual
is covering everything residual
so humanity keeps evolving....
and perhaps we do live many lives
so each and every person is revolving
and gets to see experientially
every aspect of the human personality...
or perhaps none of this is true
and we just go through life
always full of mystery
with no purpose or destiny....
for really it just comes down to
what resonates as truth in you....
| |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:31:25 AM | A cotton-topped child
Spins and spins
To her utter madness
There is no end
For you can't stop it
You can't cure it
You have to control it
It will not be controlled.
And I know damn well
Just what to do
But it breaks my heart
Slap in two
I'm afraid that if I push too far
She'll never return
To the love I once knew.
So I watch and cry
Scream to everyone
And no one at all | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:38:42 AM | It is flat out amazing
To look back on where I've been
It's good to remember the innocence
A life free of guilt and sin
Oh, how scared I was
I guess some things never change
I look at the ghost on the video
And it all seems so strange
Those people are gone
Never to return
Granny, Ellie, Helen
How much I did learn
From those old women
Who loved me so
We had good time
Really did you know...
Roach patrol in the middle of the night
We'd sit... in the dark
Then turn on the light...
And run like hell stomping and carrying on
Trying to kill the water bugs
Some four inches long...
And Sugar would help
That fat old cat
For seventeen years I had her
Makes me cry looking back...
But they are tears of promise
And tears of joy
Making me remember
That I don't need some silly boy
To complete me...
Apparently
All I need
Is an animal to film
A script in my mind
A quiet little place
For me to find
The lost innocence I forgot about
And am thankful that I saw
God Bless the home movies...
God Bless us when we're small.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
And, damn us when we're grown
Should we choose not to follow
The path for which we were born
No need to feel shallow
For chasing the dreams
You've had since a little girl
Ought to feel damn lucky
For knowing my place in this world.
And refusing to believe
That the white cowboy hat doesn't win...
Loving all fluffy things
And treating everyone as a friend.
Because you never know
When the moves you make
Are gonna take the next person
To that special place
They always deserved
But just couldn't reach
It's amazing what can happen
When you take the time to teach
Just like those old ladies
Packing me to church
And teaching me how to primp
Showering me with love
Ain't it funny how the simp-
lest things make it all worth while
Now, I'm gonna go out a bit
and try to spread my smile. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:51:17 PM | There is a transformation occurring within the system.
Money is no longer going to be the determinant of happiness. Oh, I know you say its not, however what I mean is is wont have the same weight as it does now. Because when the new system is more fully implemented, what we choose to value instead is going to have the power.
So in other words youre all right to continue. Youre just at odds with the current system, and for good reason. And theyre right to deride you, after all, youre the enemy. And its a good thing.
Were going to win. | |
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