| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:12:40 AM | I have a quick simple thread that I'm looking for a responses on how everyone feels about this thread.
I am 19, about to be 20 and I've always been attracted to older, successful men. Men in their 30's mostly, some 40's. I love dating older men NOT because of the money or wealth, more like the stability and how much they have already been thru. Most men that age that I've met, have been very wise and thoughtful. But on the other hand, I've met some 30 - 40 yr olds that have been very immature and disrespectful.
Even though I am young, I still know what I strive for and what I want out of life. If I happened to find someone in that age range who wanted to get married soon and have kids, I would possibly go with it. But do you think there's a lot of differences between age ranges or can 2 people who were born in 2 different generations be able to have a long-term relationship?
Ive always been told I am way more mature then my age and maybe some childhood experiences made me grow up faster than most 20 yr olds. But I feel like when I tell friends or family how old a guy is I'm possibly dating is, they freak out and act like I'm some sort of repulsive friend/family member because the age difference is so great.
So, overall, what is everyone's opinion on dating different age groups? If the girl is much younger than the guy... :) | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:25:27 AM | Trust me, very few older guys are gonna have a problem with dating you, but here are some of the problems you are going to run into:
Older guys (more so in the 40 range then the 30 range) have already raised families and won't be open to the idea of starting another one.
Your not going to have as much in common with each other, especially when you are around either his friends (where you may feel uncomfortable) or around your friends (where he is almost certain to feel uncomfortable).
You may want to go hang out at bars sometime, and quite often as men get older, they get more sedentary and don't want to go out and have their eardrums blasted for 3-4 hours at a time .. not ALL men, granted, but some of them will be this way.
Older guys have a tendency to be controlling when it comes to a younger girl they are dating, much like a father rather then a lover ... which if you're into that stuff it's cool, but I'm kinda doubting it.
And yeah, you are gonna get a lot of funny looks from friends, family members and even strangers who might see you as "arm candy" for him rather then being in a true relationship.
But hey, have fun with it. Life is too short not too! | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:28:14 AM | I freely admit to having problems dating someone under 30. I reserve the right to contradict myself at any, and indeed all times.
That aside i firmly believe different age group is never an excuse for the right reasons, just not the wrong uns..is all i have to add to this type of post | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:32:16 AM | See, I haven't had much of a problem with an older guy's friends. I get along with them quite well
And Yes, I have looked at the aspect of starting a family but if he is only 30 something, I believe you could still have a child, I'm not looking to start a HUGE family and if he already has kids, it's no big deal. I get along with kids very well and I would definitely incorporate them into our lives by spending time with both his kids and him.
Also, the bar scene means nothing to me. I feel I wanna go to a loud concert or a bar/club I have friends my age to do that with if he doesn't wanna go. If he does, I'd be more than happy to go with him or it be a date for us.
And I guess thats what bothers me about society, people are so judgmental about an older guy dating a younger girl...saying it's just him looking for a younger girl to have sex with or she's just a "gold digger" I've definitely dated guys who have averages jobs with a middle class salary and I didn't expect them to buy me new cars and new gifts.
But immediately society views it as a horrible scenario when they see an older man with a younger woman.
What about an older woman who dates a younger man? Is he just looking for sex with a cougar? or is it true love? You never know til you get to know the person... | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:34:59 AM | Once everyone is over 45 or so, most people are about the same, peer-wise.
It's the younger 20-somethings who want to hook up with a man as old as their dad that don't fit into our group.
I'm 45 and I don't have much in common with a teenage girl, even though you all claim you're " way more mature" than your age. "
Society" is "judgmental" because old men have no business "dating" girls young enough to be their children.
A man in his 40's who needs to date a teenager (or 20 year old) girl has some issues he needs to work out. Rarely is it an equal partnership; it's a parent-child relationship. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:37:19 AM | While I find that I can get along with people of any age, I just don't see a long term relationship with someone 20 years younger as being possible. In the long run, there are just way too many difference to make it possible.
Not to mention the fact that a guy my age would have a constant issue with feeling like I was trying to compete with younger guys for your attention. It just seems inevitable that you'd want to find a guy closer to your own age.
I can understand how you'd be more attracted to guys my age for the maturity, because in general, guys your age are kids. But, if you can find a guy say in his late 20's, he's likely to be more mature than a 22 year old, and more receptive to your needs & desires. And he may be a lot more likely to settle down and quit being kid.
Just my 2 cents.. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:41:02 AM | Older guys have a tendency to be controlling when it comes to a younger girl they are dating,
WTF?! What orifice do you folks pull some of this stuff out of? Like she says, "Most men that age that I've met, have been very wise and thoughtful." People who are "controlling" tend to be that way regardless of their age, though if anything age may mellow them a bit.
Older guys (more so in the 40 range then the 30 range) have already raised families and won't be open to the idea of starting another one.
Another misconception. The ratio of never-married to divorced men at approximately age 40 is roughly 46% to 54%, so there are plenty of men who haven't "already raised families " - even more if you step down a few years in age like the OP is talking about.
you are gonna get a lot of funny looks from friends, family members and even strangers
Given the OP's handle, I'd guess she'd actually get a kick out of that.
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:41:50 AM | Wow are you serious?
Do you think age (which is a number) plays that big of a role in someone's personal life? Just because I haven't lived as long as someone who is in 40's doesn't mean I can't communicate on their "level" . That's ridiculous.
I'm not looking to date someone who is 45 anyway, I'm really talking about someone who is in their 30's I dont think someone who is 12 yrs apart from me can be my dad, by the way.
and I'm not looking to "hook up" with your age group. I'm looking for someone who is more mature and wise then someone who is around my age who all they care about is drugs and partying. If I was just looking to "hook up" (have sex) with someone in "YOUR" age group my post wouldn't pertain to DATING different age groups. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:43:28 AM | There are other threads talking about this and I did not respond on those. Due to the way you worded it I figure I would offer my thoughts on this topic.
I had thought about this and pondered it for many an hour when I discovered several younger ladies that seemed to be interested in me.
Even though I am 36, I have listed that I want to have another child. With so many ladies in my age group listing that they do not want to have anymore children, it would be foolish for me to totally exclude the idea just on age alone.
However I did manage to think about several issues and also did a bit of searching to see what other had for issues that may have already traveled down that path.
Someone 20 has not even entered the stage of life that grants access to bars and clubs. While somone like myself at 36 I have no use for those types of places.
So unless you locate a man that may be going through a mid life crisis trying to revert back to younger days then you may have an issue there.
However, a friend I once had went after older men for similar reasons that you mentioned. She was candid enough to explain to me why she did it. It was so that she could enjoy all the fun and games that she could not afford during a time in her life that she had the most freedom...
The conversation was of the humorous tone in which she explained that she was simply utilizing her um assets to have some good times.
I guess it goes back to what your intentions are for pursuing it. It sounds like you might be looking for a sugar daddy but then at the same time you tossed in the marriage and kids comment.....
If you go that route make sure you understand what it is you will be sacraficing in life. If you pursue an older man for those reasons you may very well be choosing to skip over a chapter in life. To some that is an acceptable loss, to others though they think of it as a mistake later in life and try to relive those days after a divorce, not even realizing that it was that lost chapter and the desires that come with it that likely played a big part of choosing to get divorced to begin with
These are just my opinions.
I have many more things I discovered but I never like typing out too much till it makes it past the peanut gallery clickers that like to troll around deleting threads. If it makes it past delete and you care to I will go ahead and list a few more things that you may want to keep an eye out for when traveling down this path.
It is not always a bad road to travel. It has some bumps and potholes that must be navigated lightly, but if done right happy endings are quite possible. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:45:22 AM | | The problem is experiance more often then not. They have quite a bit of it, some more then others and younger women usually do not. Heck I am only 26 and I find most 21 year olds to be immature and not close to where I am mentally or experiance wise. Now while there is a small chance you may be an exception most guys knowing this are still hesistent to try a relationship because of it. Women 18-21 fall in and out of love so quickly it will make your head spin because usually they really do not know what they need yet or have matured enough to see it. You may think you know what you want but in all honesty most people your age do not have the experiance yet to see how wrong they were. What you want and what you need are two different things and I think this is a clash between them. You may want older men for stability but what you need is someone who can connect with you and most of the time the gap is too much for this. Hey, maybe you will get lucky and I hope you do but thats why ur having problems in case ur wondering. Either way no guy wants to be the "starter marriage" victim because another young girl had no idea what she needed at the point in her life. G/L. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:48:18 AM | ~DREAMS~
Thank you, I appreciate your post and you're completely right about this
If you go that route make sure you understand what it is you will be sacraficing in life. If you pursue an older man for those reasons you may very well be choosing to skip over a chapter in life. To some that is an acceptable loss, to others though they think of it as a mistake later in life and try to relive those days after a divorce, not even realizing that it was that lost chapter and the desires that come with it that likely played a big part of choosing to get divorced to begin with
and I don't understand why I asked a simple question and everyone is just looking to delete ? | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:48:40 AM |
WTF?! What orifice do you folks pull some of this stuff out of?
Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to consult with you before I made a post based on thoughts and observations from knowing several older guys who have dated younger women. I'll try not to forget to come to you for your kind thoughts, witty charm and all-knowing advice from here on out.
And as I usually tell everyone when reading any advice from me ... you get what you pay for! | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:51:04 AM | | when you're 20 and he's 40 you may be cool with it but when you're 40 and he's 60 does it still have the same appeal? | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:57:52 AM | Deciding if a relationship with a man of any age will work or not must first start with knowing what you want in a relationship. You are very young and have not had enough life experience to really know what you want in a relationship.
Maybe you are attracted to older men because you have fears of never knowing what you want, being successful, confident and secure yourself?
It's natural for all of us to seek out role models, mentors, teachers, etc to help us in life. Maybe you need one of these instead of a relationship with an older man? | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 10:58:33 AM | I THINK AGE, COLOR,SEX NOR LOOKS SHOULD MATTER IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS ONE DAY WORTH LOVING. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK GIRL! GO FOR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. IT WOULD BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY IF ONE OF YOU WERENT ATLEAST 18 YRS OLD. AND PROB 75% OF ALL MEN AND WOMEN THE AGE OF 40 TO 50 WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THEIR WORLD ROCKED BY A YOUNGER GENERATION. " NEVER REGRET ANYTHING THAT MADE YOU SMILE" CHIN UP GIRL....DO WHAT YA GOTTA DO TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!  | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:02:10 AM | When you're 20 and he's 40, its no big deal. Now, fast forward and he's 65 and you're only 45, there will be a big difference there. You really think he's going to keep up with you?
You age much faster once you hit your 50's. Any man who tells you this isn't so, is full of crap. I won't date men who are over 60, well maybe 62.
With the divorce rate at 50%, do what you like.  | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:07:46 AM | This is really a very individual thing, based on the people in the situation. There are some May/December marriages that work very well. No one can make a sweeping generalization and not expect there to be some exceptions to it.
If that's what you like, then just keep looking 'til you find someone who is compatible.....it can work out! | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:09:31 AM | | I don't think this is a good idea. Usually when I see a much older gent date a younger lady I view her as being his trophy. To the OP what is it that a 40 year old would see in a 20 year old.. I hate to say but it is not your personality. Now you match may be more "mature" than guys your age but he is still a guy... I prefer women that are older so I can relate to the relatives going ballistic... but I am also in my 30s..When I was in my 20's the last thing I wanted to be in was a long term relationship...most of those that I know that got married back then are now divorced... When there is 15 to 20 year age difference I suspect that the motives for the relationship are not very good or honest...I mean who is going to pay for your school work and college degree once you marry this person in the 30 to 40s age range... I see it all the time..Old guy marries young woman. young woman finishes college has 2 babies then divorces old guy for whatever reason, old guy/woman then has to move in one bedroom condo and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because of debt.... this actually goes for both genders. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:10:05 AM | | I appreciate all the women who have responded and been generous and given your honest opinion and supported what I have posted instead of being rude and bashing someone's likes. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:16:25 AM |
mean who is going to pay for your school work and college degree once you marry this person the 30 to 40s age range
Like I've previously stated. I am NOT looking for a "sugar daddy" by any means.
I PAY for my own school and degree I am pursuing, I have student loans to prove it already. I'm not expecting ANYONE to pay for MY education but myself.
and my motives have always been honest, I've never dated someone just for money regardless for negative you people wanna be on my thread.
And I am pursuing a degree for the fact I wanna be independent and have my own money source and not solely rely on my husband if there was to ever be a divorce etc. and Divorce is inevitable in certain situations so you can't sit there and say the 50% divorce rate has a lot to do with age range groups. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:17:24 AM | No one is bashing the OP.. I am a male.. I know what males think of...and certainly know what older males think of a 20 something year old lady who wants to get married and have their baby...Go ahead and marry the older guy.. But when your daughter or son if you have children turns 21 and decides to go after a 50 year old don't be upset, because that would not be very nice!....yep had a friend brag to me about his "trophy woman" the other day..yeah I hear she has a great "personality."
^^^^as if the older hubby does not take on your debt when you marry him....Oh I see where this is going...sure...Yeah trust me, he will know what he is getting into and will truly love you for your personality...this post was posted by a 30 something year old who sees how relationships like this in the real world actually work... | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:20:37 AM |
I don't think this is a good idea. Usually when I see a much older gent date a younger lady I view her as being his trophy.
This is just meant as humor ...
From what I read in her profile text and see in the pictures as well as guessing on the glimmer of what she may be like it sounds like if someone was to win her as a trophy then it would be a first place one..LMAO...Sorry couldn't resist.
Seriously though.... A trophy wife is one that looks good but has no brains upstairs thus the term that once you have her she is pretty much only good for putting on a shelf and showing off to friends...
If you read her profile it becomes clear that she would NOT be the type of lady that gets stuck on a shelf just to admire and look at.
She has aspirations, desires, and dreams so how can she be thought of as a simple trophy wife?
Sorry OP I didn't mean to be compairing you that way I was just figuring maybe some seem to miss that there is a brain under the beauty at times and that you just might be one that fits within those thoughts. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:21:40 AM | So you know what ALL males think of huh? No one can be different and pursue someone younger? They all just want sex from a younger woman or that a younger woman can't have a great personality?
Wow. is all I can say to your opinion.
PS: I would NEVER EVER be mad if my child wanted to date someone older than him/her when they reach 18 or if they are gay or they want to date someone of a different race. That's their own personal choice and I shouldn't punish them for it. This isn't the 1950
's anymore sweety, this is definitely the 2000's. | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:27:30 AM | | Yep the older guys are going to love what the OP is saying...I mean getting attention is going to be as easy as poop through a goose...No one is bashing the OP. But she seems to have more knowledge than us old folks.. I can set her up with one of my friends... He is an older "nice guy." I promise.. Hey he will even get you a job at the club...LMFAO | |
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| Dating different age groups
Posted: 6/9/2009 11:31:47 AM | This post isn't about getting attention, it's about getting outsider's opinions. If yours is that harsh and negative, that's fine. Can't stop you from posting you but I'd appreciate if you don't judge someone you don't even know.
You could be some sick perverted man on here but no one is judging you so I'd appreciate if you lay off me. Women are also responding to this post so it's NOT just for men to reply.
My job is solid and steady, I don't need a job at any club but thanks for the offer. | |
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