| | Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I am 54 a year old male. I rent four bedrooms of my house and the art studio as an apartment. I often wonder what a woman thinks when I say I live with room mates. I built this home 20 years ago and would not want to sell it in this economy and would not like to ask my room mates to leave as this is a big house. Most room mates are over 45 and usually only one guy here and four women. No, I do not have sex with room mates, first rule for me and the guys who stay here. The question is, does my living situation back women off? Would a woman feel uncomfortable dating or living in this situation? It is usually very quiet except during game night. Pictionary and Guestures get kinda loud! | |
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yna6
| | Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 2 | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:10:32 PM | 5 roommates??? Wow! That is a lot. I wouldn't mind one, or two at the most, but more than that gets to really be a bit much. And with four of them being women, that makes it even more strange.
Yes, I can see where it would bother some women. I would, in fact, say it would probably bother most women, but I could be wrong. I wouldn't be too enthused with my man living with 5 other people. There would just be too little privacy. I live with my son and d-i-l and that infringes on my privacy as it is. I could handle 3 more people. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:15:27 PM | | I understand why you rent out your rooms. In my area that I live in this is rarely ever done so to me it seems strange. But smaller area's are different. I wouldn't want room mates at my age but for someone else it wouldn't bother me....... | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:56:18 PM |
5 roommates??? Wow! That is a lot.
Actually one of the living situations I enjoyed most in my life was one with 5 housemates... We actually took turns fixing dinner for the whole household every night, but had little contact outside of that.
'Course that was, um... lemme think... about 1975.
-- Michelle "Ah, nostalgia" | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:46:25 AM | You know I really don't know how my life partner, though she is about 16000 miles away, would warm to me renting out the other 3 bedrooms in my house to women, oh shit yes I do know she would swim here if she had to and kick em all out, then start on me, oh well I really don't need them she is all I need for as long as I will continue to draw breath  | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:00:12 AM | i have the same concerns-- a 2200 square foot two story home and a huge mortgage which also includes high taxes and home and flood insurance. if i don't take on boarders (housemates, etc) soon, i am limited with any more renovations and have to keep a much tighter budget. here in CA, taxes are based upon purchase price and not the value of the home. so the old timers get to live here scott free and make huge profits when they sell their property! us newcomers get screwed on both ends, but it's a vacation area where i live, so i chose to live here anyways--on a creek and within a short walk to the ocean.
it was manageable when my kids were around and now one is back for a brief period. i also made do with the foreign students, but they stopped the program at the university. so, now needing to look for at least one and preferably two boarders and just haven't found the right fit. i'd probably prefer males, so i can be the dominant female in terms of managing the tone and tune of the household--or find young 'uns who are serious students and not drunk or stoned. i've had women wanting to come and take over my kitchen and men looking up my dress when i procede up the stairs to show them the room! now i wear jeans. but the problem is still a problem as to who i'd be comfortable with. in your instance, you appear comfortable and are just worrying about a female visitor and her assessment.
my house is set up with options for privacy and i am hosting more and more meetups here too. however, there are times when my kid isn't around and my new guy is over and i am very grateful for the privacy. on the other hand, my bedroom has two parts and i can make the one half more of a tv sitting room. he is also moving to a smaller place, but w/o housemates.
i think if a woman were assessing her man, the question would be "between the two of them" is there anyplace for privacy or any time for privacy. also, if things got serious would there be the possibility of being together and w/o the others over the longer haul. my ex SO had some awful boarders, nice people but very dirty. yet, he never would consider living with a woman again. i was slow in catching on. not in a hurry, but would now certainly assess the flexiblity of the man in question as to the feasibility of him being a long term possibility.
ps the terminologly of roomates, housemates, boarders, renters has different legal connotations here with different rights. i can rent out one room and my rights are very protected, if we share common areas. once i rent out two rooms, my rights diminish greatly. that's another area to consider.
as to the sex of the housemate, i see no problem if the relationships are indeed platonic. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:52:27 AM | i'm afraid i wouldn't like it very much.
even, if as you say it is mostly quiet, i still wouldn't be able to relax knowing there are 5 strangers not all that far away under the same roof.
it would be like staying the night at a hotel, but maybe with not the same level of security.
yes, it would be a big turn off for me. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:09:09 AM | I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who was comfortable with the whole situation.
Suppliment your income how you wish, but don't expect women to generally be thrilled with the idea.
Let's turn it around - how would you feel if you meet someone who had 5 room mates? Possibly the lack of private space might go be an issue. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 5:32:20 AM | OP, the answer really depends on the entire situation.
And every situation is different.. just as all people are different.
In general, I don't think it would bother me at all.
See, I wouldn't be 'dating' a man who didn't have fairly decent morals and honesty.
Also, I'm not the jealous type.
As for privacy.. if there really wasn't much to be found there, there's always my place. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:07:54 AM | People have a belief that other people are like them and women tend to think every guy is out for sex, any time, any woman. That is probably proven to them by most of the guys they date or even just get an email from.
If a person has never lived with the opposite sex without jumping their bones or thinking about it, then they do not believe you could either.
It sounds a little like asking what a woman thinks of your friends, your style of clothing, or even the kind of movies you watch. Those things did not matter much when we were 20 but there comes a time when you find yourself spending more time alone with a woman and if you do not have things in common you get more distant instead of closer together.
Now you ask if she can handle sharing a home with other people. I know women who are not sure they want to give up any space in the bathroom let alone share a house.
Game night?? Invite her to join and I'll bet you would find out how well she interacts with people.
Living situations change when people get together. Don't put the cart before the horse.
As for saying you live with room mates, at first I would think you were living in someones back room at 50 (LOOSER). You might mention that you own the home before you mention that you live like a college kid. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:19:54 AM | Find yourself an ex hippie chick that misses her days of living in a commune.
By the way i had a roommate and liked the arrangement. Like you no sex was ever involved. My place was large enough to accommodate two people and still have my space. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:36:32 AM | Sounds like a frat house. And it is a big turn off for me. Maybe you need to sell and down size.
I considered renting a room in my home out, then I thought about it, NO.
I love privacy and value quiet time. Dontget me wrong I have vistiors all the time. I am happy when they leave and I can be alone with my date.
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:44:31 AM | | My difficulty dating a man with roomies is that sooner or later, all home activities happen at my home. This hasn't happened just once, this has happened every time I date a guy with housemates. After awhile, they seem to be at my house more than their own, and then the situation becomes difficult for me. | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:47:12 AM | Hi Star,
Very good question indeed. I am one that really loves my privacy.. A child or two still at home that eventually would be out on their own would not bother me. However a man that has room mates including females ones would.
Sounds like commune over there.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:54:15 AM | living said:I know women who are not sure they want to give up any space in the bathroom let alone share a house.
Waving my hand here.. I have two bathrooms for a reason. One is my private boudoir.. What a nightmare that would be sharing a bathroom with anyone..
I take long long bubble baths and enjoy my garden tub complete with candlelight and oceans sounds along with a neat light show that goes on under the water.. lol
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:00:13 AM | I do have a dream of building a youth camp and having a group of twenty people live there and provide the services along with some pottery, metal art and painting. Oh yea gotta have a big organic garden just like I have now. In some ways I think this is practice for living in a close community with goals of serving others. I guess if a gal does not like the idea of room mates she would not be the type to help build my youth camp and retreat center.
I think you have to like sharing to live here and the reason why I share is because i like to help people. If I was doing it for the money alone then I might resent them being in my space.
Serenity
I rent to friends I have not met yet so i have not looked into the legal thing other than for insurance and taxes but I will check things out a little more on renters rights in Nevada.
As for letting a guy move into your space uninvited, I think that can happen no matter what his living situation. Just have one of those horses of yours sit on him.  | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:08:15 AM | Lets not forget naked cooking cannot do that with a house full of people. Where does the spontinanty come to play with people walking around.
All the camps I ever went to had cabins for the adult counslors. privacy . | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:14:51 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^...............................
I cooked for a living.. not so sure I'd ever wanna do the "naked cooking" thing. ^^^ OUCH!! The kitchen is actually the second most dangerous place in the home. Second to the bathroom.. only because of so much hard porcelain and ceramic tiles that make for slippery surfaces.
I too like and neeeeeeeed my privacy.
Now.. stretched out naked on the living room sofa.. reading the paper or a good book? I can see. But.. just not with a group of "inhouse" neighbors.JMO | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:14:38 PM | One of the local TV stations came out to do an interview with us and ran it on the nightly news. There are a lot more people sharing homes now and they wanted a perspective on privacy, sharing chores and space. I have been doing this for nine years and have it pretty well worked out so everyone has their privacy. the studio has a kitchen and bath and the other rooms are 12 x 20 with balconies one three of them. I do know that it is usually women who hear that I have other people in the house and do not want to share a bathroom. But on the other hand living with five menopausal women last year should have earned me sainthood.       | |
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| Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:42:50 PM | | No, I wouldn't feel comfy with someone having all those women in the same house.I can see if you didn't live there too. But, with you there I am sure that sometimes things can happen like someone walking in on someone when they shouldn't? Or conversations that shouldn't be taking place in mixed company? | |
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