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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only ab      Home login  
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 Latin_Girl09
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 1
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?Page 1 of 1    
Please dont say that is both, Can the sexual atraction make someone fall in love or is something different? Whats the real meaning about love?

please gimme some tips, i dont know about this anymore.

tkx
 thumperitis
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 2
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/9/2009 9:03:54 PM
Ok, you will hear me say this alot...so listen. It takes a very long time to get to know someone. One of the biggest mistakes people make is jumping into a relationship way too fast..You need to know who you are and what you want out of life and a partner to share life with first.
When you first meet someone that you are attracted too and you have the things in common you are looking for in a person...it is all fresh and new, exciting....some time passes, the lust is great! By this time If he or she is the person right for you, if this person "fits", remember...you can't and shouldn't expect to change people....love gives birth and grows and grows and after time....it should all work out if it is meant to be.

Beauty is great! We would all love to be beautiful, right? OK, beauty fades for most when we grow old. Hopefully what you want to call your "soulmate", has a great personality, sweet and kind, a sense of humor, natural communication....all the qualities you would want to be your best friend, for when the lust dies down...you still have that respectfull love still growing so when you are sitting in that rocking chair on the front porch together...or traveling or what ever you may be doing...you are as happy now as you were when you first met.


Physical attraction is great and so is chemestry, but don't forget what is equally as important or more so, what is in ones heart and mind. How they treat and respect you. I can find a man so beautiful and handsome, but if he is an jerk he becomes less beautiful!!!
 BoudaciaSmile
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 3
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/9/2009 9:28:05 PM
There is a thread in Relationships about what you want to know. It is called "Is Love a Choice?"
Give it a read. It will give you some perspective on love and attraction.
Good Luck!
 mannishboy09
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 4
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/9/2009 9:54:39 PM
Check it out.
I have a track record of dating woman who are physically very attractive. My last relationship was a real eye opener though she was literally the girl next door.
When I first saw her I was not really attracted to her physically. Physically she had the body of a woman you would typically see in a renaissance or biblical painting not in someone you would find in a Maxim mag. Once I got to know this woman I was completely in love with her and couldn't help but see her as the most beautiful creature I had ever met. I called her Laddie Beautiful. I think she was the first and so far only woman I was ever really in love with and wanted to marry. She is definitely the closest I have gotten to the soul mate.
I am a very sexual man but she was not a very sexual woman but it didn't matter that much because everything else about this woman had me put into some kind of love spell. We are no longer together partly because I could not promise this woman I would want to have any more children but to this day that woman holds a very special place with me. Im not a good enough writer to be able to put into words what it was about her that made me so attracted to her but it was definitely way beyond being just physical and sexual.
I found that there must be more than just physical attraction in a real relationship because eventually after a while you will all ways end up noticing another woman who who is hotter.
 Latin_Girl09
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 5
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:41:27 PM
if u did not want have kids with her, i dont think u loved her ..think about it
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 6
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:57:05 PM
Just because he didn't want to have kids with her doesn't mean he didn't really love her. That's not fair of you to say that.

Think about this...sometimes we find our soulmates but for one reason or another we're not meant to be with them. I believe that we have more than one soulmate on this planet, but not each one is the perfect one. I have a soulmate I'll never be with...I call him my evil soulmate. LOL
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 7
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:59:48 PM
In my opinion it's the "connection" you feel with the other person that makes you realise they are your soulmate. Don't ask me to explain it because you just know when it happens.
 happy_boy
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 8
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:02:01 PM
definitely chemistry,
there is one person everyone is meant for,we are on this planet to fiind that other half even if it takes a lifetime
 katt_411
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 9
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:08:39 PM
The real thing I felt with people who are currently, or who have been very close to my heart is a sense of having known them a lifetime after just a few minutes of talking. These people include some of my closest female friends as well as the men who have entered my life at some point or another.

I feel safe and happily unstressed about very much when we spend time together.

Sometimes these bonds happened overnight and are still strong today, while others passed their time and expired, as with many things in life. I can say the same results happened with the relationships that took a longer time to grow (it was hard to get together, distance, work, life, responsibilities .. the usual culprits responsible for delaying our social lives)

I believe we are surrounded by many people who we identify with without really being able to pin-point why. I can say that I have been lucky enough to experience such strong bonds with friends and with my two (sadly my first one passed on at an early age) most cherished significant others in this lifetime.

If you feel a sense of peace (not elation ... just simple, quiet, peace....) when you are in the presence of someone you will know you are on the right track.

~k

p.s. it's all that, and so much more: it's the physical, the spiritual, the chemistry.....it's surreal ...
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 10
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Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:12:03 PM
He said anymore childern. Therefore he has some, and is unsure if he wants any more that is a responsible choice. Having childern has nothing and I mean nothing with loving someone. Think about the infertial people, they are most certainly capable of love. Silly remark on your part latin girl.

To the orginal question. Personality has much more about a lasting relationship. You have to have that intial physcial attraction, yet over time all our beauty fades. Think of all the old people that end up looking like each other ;).
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 11
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Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:44:22 PM

Think about this...sometimes we find our soulmates but for one reason or another we're not meant to be with them. I believe that we have more than one soulmate on this planet, but not each one is the perfect one.

Very true, there is not one soulmate. There are people we meet that we click with on a level we cannot explain. Mannish had that but unfortunately, there are also practical issues that require addressing when you are in a relationship. She wanted kids, he wasn't sure about having more, they both had the ability to change their stance, both chose not to.

Ergo, it takes more than love to make a relationship work no matter how deeply that love is felt. You can love someone deeply who has totally different goals and some habits or philosophies you cannot deal with. One of my bad timing fellows would probably never be ideally suited to me because our world views are very different. I am what my daughter likes to call a do-gooder, I get involved in people's lives, this man's circle of important people was so small, there really wasn't any room in his life or heart for other people, doesn't matter how much I liked, loved or cared about him.

Let's say that Mannish acquiesced and said, okay, I get that you want to have a child so I will have one. Did Rubenesque want just one child or like many of us, preferred to have two or three. Assuming he already has two children, does he want to be a father of four or five? Not selfish, not indicative of love or commitment but being smart and responsible.
 thadood38
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 12
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:57:43 PM
You're are asking something philosophers have puzzled over for centuries so there is no real quick answer.

Nobody knows, despite what they might tell you, exactly what love is. Oh they can tell you about hormone levels and the psychology of attraction, you want to replace your father blah blah blah.

All I can tell you is, you'll know it when you feel it. It's when you care more about someone else than yourself, and not in a general way, but a very specific way. You think about them all the time, you get butterflies in your stomach when you see them and all you want to do is make them happy.

Ah, love. I do so miss it sometimes.

~Justin
 Latin_Girl09
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 13
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:04:26 PM
i dunno i just thoutht that he was been egoist, but i still think that, this is not a reason to break up.lol
 danzandsing
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 14
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:09:39 PM
The answer is neither. There's an accumulation of respect and trust. Seizure of an opportunity to change your direct in life, by adding someone else's knowledge, desires, and personality to yours.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 15
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:34:44 PM


Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?

Please dont say that is both, Can the sexual atraction make someone fall in love or is something different?


No problem, it's neither! I feel, well, the same thing I feel when I look myself in the mirror, my first reaction being, "Is that me?"... a feeling of wonder/curiosity.



Whats the real meaning about love?

please gimme some tips, i dont know about this anymore.


Oh, hell no! You are without prejudice, or false notions of love, which means this is the perfect time for you to figure it out for yourself, and to feed you any answers is to rob you of such opportunity.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 16
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Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:52:34 PM
I recommend the following book on this subject:

"The Road Less Traveled"

http://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-25th-Anniversary/dp/0743243153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245192668&sr=8-1
 BoudaciaSmile
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 17
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:21:36 PM

In my opinion it's the "connection" you feel with the other person that makes you realise they are your soulmate.

And that is where you get into trouble....
Recognize what "initial attraction" is. Feel it. Swish it around in your mind like a fine wine. Before it settles...take a long look at the man. Is he worth your possible love?
Because....all you are feeling is something described anthropologically/scientifically as "sexual attraction". It can be euphoric and make you weak and your world turn tipsy-turvy. It is a chemical response to a stimuli that your brain registered as .."ummm..ummm....ummm." Your brain has said I desire to mate with this man.
Now....you have the choice to bestow your love on this creature. Is he worth it? Or...is he a shyte and you know it...
If he is a shyte and you know he is....then you have the choice to fvck him and get on with your life...or you can say..Uh, Uh, mister...and walk away.
If he is not a shyte, then take two steps backward....put the lock on your va jayjay...
and get to know him on a level that takes inital attraction to love. You cannot love a stranger. How can you? Really, what do you know about him?
If he truly is a "soulmate" he will recognize that and take his time with you, too.
Best of luck!
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 18
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:16:47 PM

If he is not a shyte, then take two steps backward....put the lock on your va jayjay...
and get to know him on a level that takes initial attraction to love. You cannot love a stranger. How can you? Really, what do you know about him?
If he truly is a "soulmate" he will recognize that and take his time with you, too.


Nicely said, when you fall in love, it's first,the time well spent, in knowing the person and taking the time, in bonding together...

If we had sex first,I would have to say, it wasn't for love. imo
 Gigglemepink
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 19
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:17:54 PM
I'm not sure I believe in soul mates.
 DemonDingleBerry
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 20
Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate? its only about chemestry or phisical, ?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:28:26 PM

Whats the real thing that u feel when u find a soul mate?

I'm still trying to find my soul. No one will tell me where it is. How about some hints? Is it next to my pancreas? My coccyx?


its only about chemestry or phisical, ?

I would imagine it's neither, as they are the "soul" mate. So you would feel something in your "soul." Which is supposed to transcend the physical and chemical...isn't it?


Can the sexual atraction make someone fall in love or is something different?

If your definition of love is that it is like a disease you catch, or something external that you can "earn" like a prize. Then I guess sexual attraction can make someone fall into a pile of what they think is love. Especially if their sexual need is what is primarily driving them forward. So if love is something external you fall into, and you are being driven forward due to sex, then yes sexual attraction can make someone fall into love.


Whats the real meaning about love?

There isn't one. There's a Websters definition, and then there's one you figure out for yourself based on what everyone tells you and what you experience.
Unless you're a faith based person. Then love is something that god magically bestows upon you from pieces of him/her/it/them (plural) self.

One thing that may help is to figure out what love is to you. Then when you meet someone you ask what they think love is. Then you compare and contrast your definitions and experiences on the highly subjective topic. That whole communication thing.
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