| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:11:42 AM | My sister, love her to death is by my measure, far too old to be hitting bars. Her husband is going bonkers. I am passing judgment by no means, but I think she should stop. She has children. For the most part, as youth, we went to clubs for 1 of 2 reasons.
1. To meet someone and get drunk, and if you did meet someone you guys went to the club together until it got old.
2. Because we were young, and didn't have a place 100% to our own.
But being in our 30's it doesn't seem sensible to go club hopping, when you can invite all of your friends to your home bar, and spend time getting trashed with each other. Some say its the "ambiance" of the bar, yet, the only other relative ambiance is 'other men' offering to buy you drinks in the hopes they can either slip something in you, or your drink. I don't even like my brother in law, but I think she is doing wrong by him, and he is a sniveling spineless, wimp. I told her she needed to better respect him, to which she replies "I am an adult." Am I being hypercritical here? I think ever couple should get out of the house, but speaking in terms of psychology, It seems as if she is attempting to feel her independence within the relationship; and everyone deserves this, but several nights a weeks? I wonder if I am being hypercritical. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:38:40 AM | Interesting, I am over 30 years of age and I still go to the clubs, all my friends that range from 28 to 58 still go to the clubs, heck my parents who have been married for almost 40 years still go out and dance... Now coming home drunk late at night when you have a family is another thing...that is a no no, that would be a concern.. I do think that her husband does need to get a backbone and tell her how he feels about this, but one thing is for certain, many of my female friends do seem to go after the spineless guys because the can control them and give them "I am an adult and I can do what I want speech." on the other hand the female friends that I have who can not stand spineless wimpy types respect their partners very much and it seems that both involved go out together so no one is left alone at home..What I can't figure out about these types of situations is why would someone who wants to declare their independence get married to begin with? Anyways, with the way things are headed and from what I have seen in my life, it seems that more of us males are being considered nothing more than a donor these days.. The attitude of the times and this goes for both genders is that I can do whatever I want as long as it makes me feel good, who cares what my loved ones think....I would not find an often drunk 30 something year old woman with a family very attractive myself....that would not last long in My house... I mean most places have doors and I am an expert at showing folks the way out..... | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:43:57 AM | There's nothing wrong with a girls night out. I'd have to say if it's more frequent than maybe twice a month or so - that I'd find odd. I go to clubs and bars - to hear the music, dance, just get out and laugh. I did that when my kids were little, with my girlfriends. I don't see anything wrong with it at all...if she's coming home with the sun coming up and has hickeys all over her - then I'd worry. If it's twice a week - then I'd worry.
And by the way, I don't think it's very responsible to have some drunken bash at home when you have young children. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:49:00 AM | | Umm I'm in my 30's and still hit the club scene with friends. Hell my own parents still go out and have a good time. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:49:55 AM | | Its one think to have a girls/guys night out, but to come home twice a week drunk when children are in the house is not a healthy situation.. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:19:06 AM | Maybe she likes to dance and spend time with friends. I did plenty of bar hopping and the vast majority of the time I came with and left with friends and often wound up dancing in a group of women rather than with men.
Maybe you should encourage her to tone it down to once or twice a month? Who is she going out with? All of my friends are married and raising children and while we might do that for a birthday once a decade, no one has the time or inclination to go. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:20:40 AM | | I don't think people should be expected to stop going to bars and clubs after they reach a certain age. It seems like some people will generalize people over 30 who still go to bars / clubs as drunk or immature. I still go to some bars and clubs to listen to some music, dance, have a few beers, watch a sporting event, hang out with friends in general. I don't go to these places to get drunk or pick up men. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:29:37 AM | I am over 50 and I am hitting bars with a dancefloor. Really it is nothing to do with age, but status, if I am married to a man who is barhopping to get drunk then I know there is a problem with him..
LaughterReigns thanks. People thinks if a person is over 30 they have to stop living, well at my age my I still can put my legs to the hip of a 6 + ft. guy on the dancefloor. It's because I am not a teenager anymore , I have to sit in a rocking chair, no way Jose !!!! I still have the moves.. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:32:30 AM |
She is probably cheating and doing drugs. Sorry.
You can't be serious??!! If you are, I'm not even going to say what I think of your judgmental arse. I'll just leave it alone.
Now, to the OP, I didn't realize that when you reach a certain age -- 30 in your case -- you stop going out, stop meeting your friends out for a drink (or seven), stop going to see bands, and stop dancing. Wait! I guess we're supposed to stop living (in public anyway) and according to you, stay home, because it's okay to have fun there. I still go out, as do my friends. Why do I go out? Because for some odd reason, bands won't come to my house and play there. (If you can find a band that will play for free at my place, let me know, I'll be more than happy to have them over.)
Also, I happen to LOVE to dance and, silly me, I go to the clubs to do it. I don't cheat, I don't do drugs, and I'm not there to "pick up men," but I do have a couple of drinks (shocking at my age, I know; you must be appalled). My friends and I are not dead. And guess what? Someday you'll be our age also. What are you going to do? Sit home in your rocking chair and learn how to knit? 
People like you make me laugh. I despise small, judgmental minds, and that is exactly what you have. Next you'll be saying that people over 30 should only wear "mom jeans" and sneakers. God forbid you wear something sexy with heels.
Well, I'm going to go take my Metamucil, get my shawl, grab my cane, and slowly hobble out of here. It takes all kinds.... | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:35:14 AM | I'm sure if the OP was describing his brother in-law going out multiple times a week. This thread would already have 5 pages and no sign of slowing down. Of all the women calling CHEATER.......CHEATER.
But being a woman, she can go out and have a good time and no one cares. Well here's one guy caring, I'm calling cheater. She is either cheating with someone or cheating on him with her drinking and/or drug addiction.
When your in your early even mid 20's its different your mingling with friends and having fun. I'm not saying someone in there later ears cannot go out and dance and have fun. But when you have a growing family at home you've got responsibility. If you want to have baby sitters take care of the kids while you and your s/o have a "night out" every so often hell yeah do it. But if the man and/or woman in the relationship is going out every night "clubbin" then we have a problem.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:31:58 AM | OP -- Age isn't really a precursor to stopping or starting anything these days. I'm 36 and I still head to the bar at least once or twice a month.
In the case of your sister...she indeed sounds a little reckless. I mean, several times a WEEK?! That's just a little overboard, even to my eyes. There's definitely something going on there. Whether it's her cheating, or just wanting to get away from her mate, or pretending to live out her glory days while she can still get away with it...hard to say. But there's most surely something going on there.
Aside from the recession, hitting the clubs several times a week just seems out of place unless you are in fact, irresponsible and young and don't have life responsibilities like a mate or a home or whatever. The "I'm an adult" comeback was an indicator that there's way more to this. I'm an adult too, but you don't see me or my people hitting the clubs several times a week. She clearly has no regard for her man either, with a response such as she gave.
I suspect that before too long, she'll be calling you in tears fresh off a breakup, or worse...from the city/county lockup. Her behavior is gonna be destructive before too long. Don't need to be a genius to see that coming. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:46:21 AM | You don't sound hypocritical at all to me. Hanging out getting drunk at bars when you're married with kids is pretty damn lame and a sign their marriage will be over sooner rather than later.
It's like Chris Rock said, "You can get your groove on, or you can get your "mom" on, but you can't do both at the same time." Your sister needs to grow up and be a mom so your niece/nephew don't end up in jail. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:06:22 AM |
I'm sure if the OP was describing his brother in-law going out multiple times a week. This thread would already have 5 pages and no sign of slowing down. Of all the women calling CHEATER.......CHEATER.
Maybe by the paranoid masses.
If either party in a marriage is constantly out and partying without the other, something is wrong. Probably not cheating, but if they don't seem to want to be home at hardly all, there's a reason for that.
I've never been much of a club girl, but I'd go with my pals now and then anyway just to be with them. They'd go to places I preferred as well so we could be together.
I am 38.. will be 39 in the Fall and anyone telling me I'm too old to do anything would be mocked within a inch of their lives.
If you're clubbing madly, without your spouse or to get away from him and your kids, you're probably a crap wife and a crap mother, but that has nothing to do with how old you are. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:44:09 AM | Aside from the girls night out, can you give me another reason as to why she should be going out, as opposed to hitting a bookstore, or a park? Bars exist as meat markets. Which is his argument. So if it isn't a girls night out, and she just wants to get out of the house, why a bar? And with one friend as opposed to her clique.
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:50:05 AM | let me rephrase my post.
I don't see anything wrong with going out with your friends or SO to clubs. I feel that once you hit a certain age, you shouldn't go club hopping alone. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 11:59:31 AM | | I'm over 30 and still go clubbing, i have to admit i don't like the 'meat market' aspect of clubs but i still go occasionally to have fun with friends and dance, i'm single but don't go to meet guys, i rarely drink when out so it's not to get drunk either, it's to have fun!!! nothing sinister in it, if she is just going to have fun with friends there is no harm. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:04:48 PM | What's wrong with that?? My girl and I are hitting the club in AC for our birthday next month!! Cant' wait!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It's about having FUN and NOT having to clean up the mess afterwards and it's an excuse to wear all those cute little outfits in your closet that never see the light of night otherwise. LOL!
of course.. i'm not married.. I think I'd take my husband with me if I was married..but shit.. I'd still be going! | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:06:07 PM | I must be the only one hitting the clubs just to get my drink on.. I mean all the ladies at these clubs always look better at closing time and of course the same could be said about my short self...But, I am single and I do not have a family so there is a diff.. from being married with children and going out while your S.O. stays home...something just does not sound right in this situation...most married folks would not appreciate their S O going out twice a week and leaving them home alone..  | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:14:38 PM |
Aside from the girls night out, can you give me another reason as to why she should be going out, as opposed to hitting a bookstore, or a park?
Last I heard, you couldn't get booze at a park or a bookstore. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:42:30 PM | | it does not matter the age it is the responsibility...when you have young kids and you are married...there is no reason to be clubbing all the time....to think she is coming drunk that is so irresponsible....I agree you are married you should do something with your husband socially...when a female or a male have to go out with thier friends socially I question their priority...family should be first...and for somebody to get drunk come that is so immature... do somethings more fun..and why is she going out clubbing? she like to dance? I think she likes the attention of other men....that is not right...I hope everything works out for them...maybe her husband should teach her own medicine...how would she feel? | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:56:32 PM | OP:
You're asking two different questions:
If you're over 30 do you still hit the clubs
If you're married with kids would you still hit the clubs...
Yes, as a single person I still go to clubs. Love music, love to dance. Have no intention of stopping.
If I were married with kids? Different story. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 12:57:52 PM | | I just think something is not right at home if a married person is hitting the clubs while their S.O. is sitting at home.. | |
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| Over 30 and still hitting the clubs?
Posted: 6/10/2009 1:12:08 PM |
You're asking two different questions:
If you're over 30 do you still hit the clubs
If you're married with kids would you still hit the clubs...
Yes, as a single person I still go to clubs. Love music, love to dance. Have no intention of stopping.
If I were married with kids? Different story.
Good point. This has nothing to do with age. A single 35 yr old person could still go to bars / clubs on a regular basis while a married 25 yr old person with kids shouldn't. | |
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