| Why Me?
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:12:44 PM | Ok so I have been in a relationship/living with a girl for 1.5 years and last month she tells me that she has been sleeping behind my back with her best friend and her boyfriend (Threesom). I'm beginning to think that it's me who is at fault because maybe I just choose the wrong girls to be with. Does anyone have any experience or advise about this situation???  | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 6/10/2009 6:54:25 PM | well, my first reaction would be ...get a video of it....
its not your fault that the woman you chose is premiscuous, we cannot control others, but we can control our choices...move out sweety and count your blessing that you didnt marry her.., find a woman who wants only one man... someone who cherishes monogomy. and dont cry, shes not worth it for sure. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:19:23 PM | The first line of your profile says "kinda open minded"...but I'm not seeing that here. Hey, at least she told you...many wouldn't. I take it you decided to end the relationship based on this news. Was that your choice or hers?
She obviously wanted to engage in something that was a bit risky for your relationship. She failed to inform you BEFORE she went ahead and did it though, which isn't cool. But you ARE open minded...have you ever considered yourself and her in a threesome? If so, did you ever talk about it with her? Maybe this gave her license to think you'd be okay with it?
You chose an open minded girl. Hey, you guys want the freaks...you get everything that goes with them too.
And...why not you!? People disappoint us...part of life.
Hope you find what you're looking for. Maybe a less freaky one this time huh? | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:07:38 AM | | My only advice is to dump her sorry a**. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:04:30 AM | | Women do ****ed up things regardless how you treat them, or how the relationship is going. Dump her worthless ass. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:21:42 AM | | It is important in a relationship to discuss these things before hand and it kills trust in the relationship going behind your back and if at the start of a relationship these things are going on then the new date should know about it in order to consider whether you want to date them. Even if you have discussed threesomes, it is wrong of her to assume anything and should have said that she was planning on it and being open. Don't blame yourself because you can only go on what you know in relationships, now that you do, you can act on it which is what matters. I hope she has at least been engaging in safe sex and not passing any std's on to you. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:36:39 AM |
I have been in a relationship/living with a girl for 1.5 years and last month she tells me that she has been sleeping behind my back with her best friend and her boyfriend (Threesom)..........
Well. all I can say, is at least she told you.........abeit after the fact...........which is a whole lot more than I can say about MY ex.............
I guess my feeling is you need to ask yourself.............
Can you trust her?
Do you think she will do it again?
Only YOU can answer those questions.......... - and I think you know what those answers are........
As far as the "open minded" thing.............- what exactly DOES that mean?????? I see that on many profiles out here - not just yours, OP, about people being "open minded". - Must be part of some new dating lexicon that some Yuppie Hybrid dreamed up out here.............
Open minded can mean many different things.............. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:32:54 AM | | Better that you know now than later. Get her out of your head and move on. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 2:40:28 PM | | Sorry to hear what's happened. I can imagine your world has been turned upside-down by this revelation. I don't think you're at fault but, yes, you did choose the wrong girl to be with. She cheated behind your back. If you're not the kind of person who behaves like that then why would you want a girlfriend who does? I don't see how you could be expected to know, she just misled you. If you can extricate yourself from this relationship, that would probably be the best route for you. Once you've given yourself a little space to get over her, you can look ahead to find a girl who is sincere. I'm sorry you are facing this situation. If you do decide to leave her, then you may find 'no contact' is helpful. Look up Jarbarian's post starting 'So you think you want a second chance'. Good luck. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 2:47:37 PM | | Did you ignore any flags on the field prior to her admission? | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:27:39 PM | Why do you think its you?
Its her. Its the kind of person SHE is. Has nothing to do with you-
you dont possess some kind of mind altering trance capacity that MADE her
do this to you - she did it all by herself. Her actions. Her decision.
Has NOTHING to do with you or the man that you are.
Has EVERYTHING to do with HER character, integrity and
honor, which she did not have for you or your relationship.
So - hmmm...... where does this leave you- it leaves you with
fixing that self esteem of yours and thinking much better of yourself-
never ever get your worth from someone else. YOU are worth what
you think you are and you are worth way more than some chick who
likes threesomes with your friends.
No contact with her- none. Cut her from your life and
all the friends that are going to go back and
tell her what you are up too or tell you what she is up too
- they are not your friends, at least not right now. Maybe later in life.
So - fix your self esteem to reflect what you are and not what others project
on you and find someone who is worthy of you and wants the same things
out of a relationship that you want and honors what that relationship stands
for between the two of you - love and respect for each other.
Good luck. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:37:03 PM | | The only part that is your fault is keeping your head in the sand and not noticing that your girl was rally not into having a normal relationship. Kick her ass to the curb. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:31:31 PM | | There's nothing wrong with sexuality and being open-minded but cheating is what it is. To the curb ... | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:21:52 AM | Wow that is amazing! Well first of all, you have to keep things in perspective..were the signs there. Think to yourself were you actually happy? I know it is a cliche to say time heals all wounds...It doesn't but it does make them better.
Everyone is right, good ridence she is gone if it wasn't what you wanted, but whatever you do don't blame the next girl you meet for the stupidity of the last girl.
That is what makes relationships even harder because situations like this cause bitterness. In the long run she did you a favor... and for the love of all things real do NOT blame yourself! Your not a bad looking man. I'm sure its only a matter of time before you find someone who is looking for what you are looking for.
Good Luck | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:36:26 PM | you're living with a girlfriend on you're on here looking to meet women? are you pissed because your girlfriend didn't invite you to participate in their threesome?
Foot meet mouth  | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:54:24 PM | I think curlygrl has the right attitude on this one. It's all about them, their problems and their insecurities...not you or yours.
But, I think you're smart to start analyzing the women you attract and your role with those that you successfully attract. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but it sounds like this sort of thing (cheating) is not an isolated incident with you.
Maybe there are some aspects of what you offer to a woman as a "package" are lacking in certain areas? Perhaps you seek a certain personality type or prefer "easy" women with zero morality? Possibly you're ignoring red flags early on that indicate the situation will not go well? Perhaps you're seeking the wrong characteristics in a person and these cause you to experience these types of situations?
Only you know your situation best, so self introspection is a must. We can't tell you the intricate dynamics of what went on, the reasons why, or any of this...but in the end it's wrong and you deserve better than that. Take the attitude that you'll take the most from the situation, give a serious look at yourself and change where necessary and you'll be smarter, wiser and better for the next time. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:55:54 PM | dude, damn.
Don't worry, you will find some one here | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:31:21 PM | Well, I don't know what to say. The issue is this, the guy got a threesome and what about you? Seriously though why she would she choose that instead?
Consider this, perhaps you should be as risky and demonstrate you can keep up sexually? Her sexual appetites are developing and why not share in that. Although remember one thing I like to always think of in this situation....
When we focus to much on one part of life we destroy ourselves, because life is a whole and not just one part. | |
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| Why Me?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:02:58 PM | I'd say kick her sorry ass to the curb, and find someone that is worth sharing the bed with or to bang | |
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