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| Why women want guys to come to THEM [CLOSED For Review]
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:55:17 PM | I like to solve mysteries and one major mystery I wanted to solve was, why do women not like to show much interest in a guy, while guy's just come right out and express their feelings: "You're beautiful!" etc etc etc.
I've came up with an answer and we'll see by the responses if it has any credibility; even then, responses don't prove anything, people could always (a) misunderstand what I say (b) feel ego-slapped by an insightful idea from someone other than them, or by the idea itself, so seeking to salvage their intelligence or virtue, they address 'WHY' I wrote it to atleast look deep and insightful enough to discern my character, and look 'virtuous' enough to belittle it.
Yeah, that's 99.99999% of POF posting responses.
So here is what I propose for why women don't like to give too much attention to a man, and just play hard to get:
It's not a problem for a man to let women think she has some form of power over him "God you're hot..." because males, being stronger, know they've lost no power when they give it to the woman just for her looks.
Women, weaker creatures, already feel a loss of power so the last thing she wants is for the male to feel like he has power over her enough to.....GRAB HER ATTENTION AND KEEP IT, SEXUALLY OR OTHERWISE.
Behold, mystery solved.
It's a POWER game.
That's my take on it. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 2:58:52 PM | Would guys stop coming to women in any case?
It sounds to me like you're explaining why the honey makes the bears climb the tree to get it.
Oops, I probably fit into one of your categories of the kinds of idiots who reply. Oh well. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:00:15 PM | It's a holdover from the past when women were supposed to be virtuous and innocent. Women who show interest are perceived as sluts or, worse, desperate lest they become spinsters.
On the flipside, men who don't show interest are perceived as weak or weird/antisocial.
(Also, one man's opinion doesn't solve anything --- you're probably right about the power thing for some people, but I think mostly it's just residual societal mores.) | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:01:40 PM | Women, weaker creatures, already feel a loss of power
<div class="quote">
Why do you think women are weaker creatures, in a lot of ways we are stronger than men.Why does it have to be about power at all.I thought men liked the chase and if a woman gives in too soon, lose interest.Men are saying it here every day.Hmm a paradox. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:03:43 PM | | Was there a question in all of that? You're still fighting the age old battle of the sexes, relax and enjoy the ride. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:04:50 PM | Men can spread more than a million of his seed at any given moment. But women only have one at the time and during her whole life can only hold about 12 eggs a year.
So while a guy is programmed to spread the millions and millions of seed he has. The woman has to save that egg for the one particular guy that fits her emotional criteria that defines it as a better gene pool and the chance to provide for that egg.
So it's not a power game. It is nature.
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:05:35 PM | Diablera
Your question supports my statement.
If men are saying they themselves like the chase, it's to 'save face' and salvage the power she stole from him with the chase ;) So of course he's gonna say "I like the chase, oh yeah." | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:05:55 PM | | because that's how it always has been get used to it. Better make your impression a good first impression or else you'll lose her, that's the dating game my friend. Just like video games, kill or be killed. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:17:39 PM | Because a lot of women don't get it.
They fought so many years for equality yet still want a guy who makes more money than them, holds doors open, pulls out chairs, is taller than them etc. etc. You can't have it both ways.
They would rather say a man is gay who's not interested in them than to just ask the guy out. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:18:05 PM | OP -- I agree with you that it's little more than a power thing...but add to that, the archaic beliefs that some still cling to. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women use the "men like to chase" yarn so often because they also have the same notion that "he asks, so he pays" mentality. Yep, that's what it all comes back to sooner or later.
So think about it - if some chick digs you, she won't say it as much as we men might...she won't ask you on a date because by the implied girly logic, she asked so she pays. Well, we just can't have any of that! So instead, they'll wait...use the old clichés of "men like to pursue" and such and wait for that man to make himself known. She'll go on the date and live in her own land where her mere presence should be more than enough for him...
That fails - then no biggie, 'cause she's got more free dates lined up already. More free dinners, movies, drinks, whatever else. Just a longer free ride.
But yea, power plays a huge role. Men, in their infinite stupidity keep falling for the old "social graces" spiel and lap it up like a hungry crack whore each time...they allow themselves to be played out, and are truly convinced that the more he razzles and dazzles her, and the more elaborate the dates, the quicker he'll be "the one". When in reality, all they're doing is perpetuating archaic rituals that no longer serve any purpose other than supplying the femmes with the free ride. All they're doing is lightening their wallets.
In some age old ritual trying to "court" (see: purchase) the femmes. In this game, let's face it, the one with all the gold gets all the girls. They just like to live in their land of denail and claim it's never about the money, it's about dignity and respect and blah blah blah. Yea okay...this is why so many broke-ass people are out on dates then right? It's laughable at best.
Power. Money. Put them together and this explains why women will still wait for guys to come to them instead of the other way around. There's no real mystery to it. Naturally, there are exceptions to every rule, but they are the exceptions...not the rule.
I've met my share that pursue me...but those are so few and far between it's not even worth mentioning. I think those types just exist to keep the bell curve in a rounded form. They exist so that we can't use expressions like "all women...".
So bear in mind exceptions are still in play. Good luck finding those exceptional few though.
As for the rest...they're easy enough to spot. Just open your eyes.
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recup_
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Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:30:16 PM | The bottom line is, females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX because he doesn't need anything else BEING STRONG AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, so whatever she offers other than sex (caringness, emotional connections, etc) is useless. She instinctively knows this and feels humiliated about it, so seeks to pretend she has something to offer, so if males don't see THAT, but instead get happiness from sex, voila, she's pissed.
This explains ALL her behavior. | |
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ATPase
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Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 13 | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:37:43 PM | If a woman has nothing else to offer a man other than sex why are you looking to date? Cut to the f*ing chase and hire escorts.
All theories need to be tested, keep working on it until you find the one that works for you.While you keep testing remember to keep an open mind and look at all of the alternatives. Keep track of the data and results. Or just go straight to the escorts, way less effort and conversation and they don't care if you are a nice guy or not. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:38:22 PM | The bottom line is, females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX because he doesn't need anything else BEING STRONG AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, so whatever she offers other than sex (caringness, emotional connections, etc) is useless. She instinctively knows this and feels humiliated about it, so seeks to pretend she has something to offer, so if males don't see THAT, but instead get happiness from sex, voila, she's pissed.
This explains ALL her behavior.
that's rich! of course it does, to a hard-assed, bitter cynic such as yourself who apparently is used to being attracted to nothing but women with only the lowest level of consciousness available on the scale of human intelligence and integrity, and who have no compunctions about using their p-y as a bargaining chip in their interactions with you. i mean, you sound so authoritative & shit, you must be speaking from 1st hand experience, right???
and the reason they're SO attracted to you is.......?
VVV edit for below VVV
as a matter of fact, i'm responding so objectively it would burn your retinas if you could only see it. but you have to read between the lines and jump to some logical conclusions. go ahead, give it a go.
or stop yer whining and go homosexual. | |
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ATPase
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Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:40:50 PM | | they guy's just offering his opinion. Just because you don't agree, doesnt make him wrong. I can see some people are not able to respond objectively. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:43:48 PM |
but add to that, the archaic beliefs that some still cling to. I've said it before and I'll say it again, women use the "men like to chase" yarn so often because they also have the same notion that "he asks, so he pays" mentality. Yep, that's what it all comes back to sooner or later.
So we're back to "who pays" LOL...Here is the thing, you guys will complain about the princess complex, you'll whine to your mates that she's a bytch, she's hard to get etc etc...but at the end of the day it's the type of girl that keeps the man wanting more...don't believe me? look around BDJ you know I'm right. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:45:02 PM | Gee you guys are like acid lemon drops.Money, money money is not the criteria by which I judge men or a lot of women or height, or looks.I always look for character.I dont get the height thing.
Power playing is for the game players, its not for rational people.
Women this, women that,ya know you love us.
BJD you want women to pursue you haha I bet plenty do.I guess traditionally men pursue and women looked easy if they did it.Plus you men are always telling us, you find women who give it up and are too interested boring.You like a challenge.Which is it, we want to know.
So girls dont ask out men , so they dont have to pay.Hello either does the man.The cost of dates can be shared.Quit dating goldiggers.it will brighten your perspective.
BTW I am resisting dating someone at the moment , because when I broached the topic of sharing costs etc , he kicked off and said he pays.What am I suppose to do about that.I wish he was like you guys.I cant even go out as friends as he insists on paying.WTF we are not all users you know.
The bottom line is, females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX because he doesn't need anything else BEING STRONG AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, so whatever she offers other than sex (caringness, emotional connections, quote
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HAHAH we have a live one here, popping out from under his bridge to eat the goats. Strong and self sufficient until you get the man flu.Women are self sufficient too and strong.What do men offer that a turbo rampant rabbit does not Mon Cher.It works both ways.
So we are all strong and self sufficient and dont need each other.But what do we want, what makes us happy, for what do we yearn
You know Op men are a choice not a necessity.Us females do not need men to validate us, to make us whole, feel important or live off of.We can validate ourselves, support ourselves, satisfy ourselves, and be happy by ourselves.Why make a power play from what is natural, the sexes attraction to each other.
I think womens independence scares men bit and you feel like you are not needed.But you areloved by us women because we choose it not because we are weak. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:46:08 PM |
Behold, mystery solved
That's really cute, OP....
Well I mean, it *would* be...if women were only looking for a man to arm-wrestle with.  | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 3:51:45 PM |
BTW I am resisting dating someone at the moment , because when I broached the topic of sharing costs etc , he kicked off and said he pays.What am I suppose to do about that.I wish he was like you guys.I cant even go out as friends as he insists on paying.WTF we are not all users you know.
You just let him pay and sit back....why resist? would it make you 'appear' weaker if he paid? Sorry Diablera it's not a direct attack on you, I'm just amazed at how many women want to be treated like a mate rather then a lady... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:15:00 PM | Oh, sorry, I thought this would explain why women want guys to come to them.
Don't get me wrong, I 'm glad you got it figured out, friend.
but, really, this is a very rough draft...and needs more work.
starting with..."All a woman has to offer a man is sex"
that's not a woman..that's a 'Ho'
as you mature, you will get it.....probably, that, if that's all a woman is offering....then...I'll pass.
Kimbo********************************* | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:15:32 PM | Maybe I should start paying that $6. a month for all I've learned here in the last few months. Lets see.
1. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
2. He's just not that into you
And now, lo and behold, the mystery is solved..... It's all about Power!
Let me see if I've got this right. You give the women a false sense of power over you so you can get sex....is that right? Because if you didn't you wouldn't get sex, is that right?
Just trying to understand your theory; So, the rest of your theory is; if they didn't give us sex, we wouldn't want them or need them for anything else because they have nothing else to offer that we need. Is that right?
Lets see, this is my theory. You need to start dating more mature women who don't play "Power" games with you! Sorry, don't mean to slap your ego!
Yep, I guess I just joined the other 99.9999999 percent. Hmmmmm. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:16:03 PM |
The bottom line is, females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX because he doesn't need anything else BEING STRONG AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, so whatever she offers other than sex (caringness, emotional connections, etc) is useless
Got to give 'recup' kudos for stirring up a debate at least! However he forgot the word 'some' - very important. Maybe even 'many' as in:
...MANY females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX...
Now, I'd agree with this. Some do have more to offer though. I've known......well a couple at least. And I did some chasing. It's kind of requisite. Most women - even the most together that you'd actually want to spend some time with - have some level of insecurity and need proof of affection/desire. 'Chasing' is taken as evidence of such proof - though it's debatable what it's actually proof of (e.g. players do a lot of chasing...)
If it gets out of hand though, or if it's done just in the name of 'tradition', then it is a power play and you're on to a loser. Unless, that is, you actually want to be a lap-dog. There are a ton of semi-happy lap-dogs out there who get sex once in a while. When they're good ;) | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/10/2009 4:22:02 PM | What you are questioning is a sociological issue. The phenom begins when girls are put into the pink swaddling and the boys in blue.
The women with whom I choose to associate want to be considered as equals. | |
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