| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/3/2005 1:41:11 PM | Nothing in my mail but spam. Nope, again today as most every day, nothing from PileO'Fish except read deleted or unread deleted. I have read statistically, that the ratio of men to women is five to one respectively. For every one hundred satisfied ladies leaves four hundred gents reading the deleted column of POF. But week after week, month after month, I see the same ladies, many of whom have done me a delete. So what I believe I am seeing here is a game being played by those specifically requesting no games allowed. The game has got to be musical chairs, the mating version. The lady is deluged with potential suitors, but instead of choosing one, she plays “Pop Goes the Weasel” while we dance around her mulberry bush as she takes the chairs away before the music stops. If, in fact, she does go out with a man, she is thinking ahead to another lined up the next day as she is finding as much fault possible with the date in the time it takes to down a cup of coffee, never getting to really know anyone at all.
About., about., that is, almost everyone in this pile, lives in the animation world of fair maidens and handsome princes. That is, that we are that maiden or prince and the other is standing (or sitting) by the pond in the lost forest, next to the castle, on the other side of the flowery meadow that the yellow brick road leads that we are skipping along, and yes Toto is there to, only to find we should have taken the third star to the left and go straight on till morning (that is, those of us that go straight).
Now where is this all leading? Nowhere! Exactly the place most of us have gone with this. The ladies by some confused choice. The men by unsurmountable overwhelming odds against them. What we enter into believing it will be a clear pond with plenty of fish ends up a dry mud hole, and a pile of fish.
What has been promised from these dating sites can not become true just from the nature of them. I have been here almost a year. You'll never hear me complain!
cwc | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/3/2005 8:00:09 PM | | The ratio is at worst 1.8 to 1.... You need look no further then your main picture and the bitter tone of your messages/profile to see why girls don't respond. | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/4/2005 8:57:11 AM | thank you admin for the great advise. I'll get right on it. Fact is, this is evolution. This is where I have evolved to from the time I've been here. I have changed the profile a few times from a profile as suggested and fair pictures (what can one do with old and ugly?), to this, A comedy of errors, or is it errors of comedy. Now I get entertainment from this site through the forums. If this is how and where the cyber dating "GAME" is played, this is where I'll spend my weekend dates with the computer.
cwc .........
and, yes, , this is about the best site for this stuff on the webb ........
I'm getting my moneys worth and you won't hear me complain......... | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/4/2005 9:39:17 AM | If your goal is to meet someone in person many times, why not leave the virtual roundabout and simply talk to people in your neighborhood? Truly such bitterness will only reinforce your belief that women are out there are playing with men....
Good luck though, hope good news finds you. | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:39:42 AM | ayrlyn, constructive criticism, and thank you. The profile tells the story of why I came to be here in the first place. "Truly such bitterness" is infact not what it seems.
I see you ere new to this world. You will play games and have them played on you. Remember what you said and do not become bitter yourself. Learn and adjust when it happens.
cwc | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 7/4/2005 8:37:11 PM | | I really, really hope I never play games with people. That seems soooo horrible to do to people. All the same that is something I must keep in mind to be on guard against. Sage words. | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/6/2006 5:26:10 AM | Interesting... the thread is called reality revisited and the opening post is all fantasy.
I must say that I thought the ratio was higher too but BigFish has spoken and he knows best. 1.8 to 1 at worst...hmmm. I guess it depends where you live and if thats the worst then probably the average is 1 to 1. So that being said, what could possibly be the problem? Methinks the comment about the pic and the profile are valid too. This is a game of sorts too. It's called self sabotage. It is a strange one since the person playing the game doesn't seem to realise they are playing it. | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/6/2006 7:54:04 AM | cwc42,
Sounds like your ready to do yourself in.Don't take things so seriously.Just go with the flow.I have to agree with admin.Just have a look at your profile and your pic and you've got the answer.It is no easier meeting people face to face then it is on dating sites.
It's all in the way you think.Change the way you think and you'll start having success.
Men blame women and women blame men.That's all you hear and read.Stand up tall and believe in yourself!Let's see some positive thinking,confidence....You spent all those words in this thread writing negative stuff which in turn you could have spent writing about all the good things you have to offer.
There's a saying that goes: 'To the world, you may be one person; But to one person, you may be the world.'
Pick yourself up and lets see what you can do with your profile.Have a profile review done in the forums.People will give you some suggestions.
Cheers | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/8/2006 5:11:04 AM | What has been promised from these dating sites can not become true just from the nature of them. I have been here almost a year. You'll never hear me complain!
ummmmm .... isn't that what you were just doing?
Now, HERE'S a reality check.
Finding a mate is HARD. It's DIFFICULT. It's NOT EASY.
Some of us have been looking for what - 20? 30 years? Others have been recently divorced/widowed, and are relativly new to looking.
If you've been single for 30 years, it can mean 1 of 2 things.
1) You smell funny/are socially inept/are a looser/treat the opposite sex like crappola/"your favorite reason for rejection here"
or
2) IT'S NOT FREAKING EASY!
So why, after not being able to find your soul mate after sometimes *decades* of searching, do you think you can come onto POF or any OTHER site, and expect to find said mate in 20 minites or less? It's not like you can order your perfect mate from Amazon. | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/8/2006 5:27:09 AM | cwc42
my friend put up your ......'I am a distinguish gentleman in a suit pic'
as you main pic
you will get more real responses than with a puppy pic
20
go to your local barnes and noble or chapters book store
-scope out a good 'chick book section'
-where your ..... 'I am a distinguish gentleman suit
-say hello and tell them you speak 5 languages...that always works !!!!!!!!
 | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/8/2006 6:07:09 AM | | IT'S THE WOMEN WHO ARE IN CONTROL. BUT ISN'T IT GREAT WHEN YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL? | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/8/2006 6:27:13 AM | negativity seeks negativity....your whole ad is a total RUN AWAY type...you sound angry at the world and also soundlike you ve been burned. WHAT women in her right mind would wannabe next to take the abuses inflicted upon her from you because of how awful soemone before her treated you-sounds like you d be taking it out on the next woman and who would wish to seek this man who sounds like he hates the world has no future good out look on life and pity me feel sorry for me. One shouldsnt write things or ads about himself when in an angered mood or just having been burnt.if you re seeking loser material users and walk all over you types...thats what you ll get ..but written in positive light ...like seeks like REDO your ad if you truely wish to meet someone NICE. I d delete you as well with an ad like that..i want someone who brings a smile ot my face and lights up my day not brings me DOWN with him | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/11/2006 3:32:46 AM | cwc
I thought the ratio was for every man their were something like 5 women?? Hmmm, will have to check out the statistics....
*The game has got to be musical chairs, the mating version. The lady is deluged with potential suitors, but instead of choosing one, she plays “Pop Goes the Weasel” while we dance around her mulberry bush as she takes the chairs away before the music stops.*
Interesting theory, but I have to admit, its works the same on both sides of the fence. When you meet the *Right* person, time will tell....you can analyze all you want but if two people can't make it work, how on earth can it be possible for just one person to make it happen, it's time to keep on fishin.....everything happens for a reason, people cross each other's path for a reason as well.....don't give up, throw your fishin rod back you, you have to have patience and you never know when someone will bite your bait.....
I enjoy reading the forums, I love hearing the success stories of POF's who have found their match, I met someone on here as well, and for whatever reasons right now we can't be together but I am keepin my faith, you never know what the future might hold..you have to stay positive...neg energy will take away the best of us....
Good luck | |
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| Reality revisited
Posted: 8/11/2006 10:57:51 PM | Ha ha ha ha
It's ohhhhh so easy to dump all over the OP about "bitterness" and "no wonder you haven't found at date...."
Ever stop to think that (a) he's changed his profile because he no longer gives a shit, or that (2) he's got a point?
Remember, the vast majority of POF'ers - mainly men - have a near-impossible time even getting past the FIRST STEP of the process - THE FIRST STEP - A REPLY. Think about that.
I, too, have been here about a year or more, went through a couple of "reinventions" (new profile names), had my profile critiqued, pics critiqued, and went in thinking well, meet a couple people maybe, if something happens, fine.
Not sure the women are necessarily playing the game OP says, but the ratio is definitely a factor. And especially where I live, it's next to impossible for certain ethnic groups to even get a fair shot. After literally dozens and dozens of emails, to a VARIETY of women (lest you think I restricted myself to the 1 knockout babe out of every 20) all inidividually written with care and attention, with good pics and a "great" profile (as rated by my POF critiquers), I managed to get EXACTLY TWELVE replies. TWELVE. Nine of those were polite "no thanks", two just myseriously never went past the first 2-3 messages. The one person I did meet was nice, but nothing developed.
POF is great in the fact that it's free, easy to use, and has the forums as a big bonus. But the dating aspect is a joke. If you're a woman, you can expect to get a few bites - lots if you are at all good looking and truthful about your photos....if you're a man, you take your chances, and you get used to "deleted".
BTW, where I am - Calgary - just to make things harder, the women should have big signs up on their profiles reading: "no asians need apply". And I've heard similar things from other asian male POF'ers from various parts of Canada and the US.
So, whatever - I knew long ago there wasn't a hope in he11 of getting a date on here - so concentrated on the fun forums, and sent out the odd line - while at the same time not getting my hopes up. That's the key, really - you can't put too much stake in it!
Ask the BBW's on here - and the men under 5'7" - or the men over 40 - if POF has been a bonanza of dates. There are likely some that have had success - but I'd bet my last dollar that VAST MAJORITY of them have had ZERO luck.
SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - QUIT DISMISSING NEGATIVE TESTIMONIALS AS "BITTER" GUYS WHO HAD LOUSY PROFILES AND BAD ATTITUDES.
There's plenty of people - like me - who have gone through the fishing expedition with all the right tools and attitude......and still came up empty. That's life, and it's all good. But I really object to the immediate dismissal of guys like "cwc" who dare to offer a bit of a reality check.
Cheers, all  | |
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