| why did he....
Posted: 6/10/2009 7:00:05 PM | | I am starting to realize ( I think ) that this POF guy I went out with twice doesn't really like me but I am getting mixed signals and would like feedback. Slept with him on first date..no condom..bad move I know but I thought that showed some level of intimacy between us. Second date, he asks to you-know-what IN me. And he knows I'm not on the pill or anything. Oh also on second date at restaurant he was putting his hand up my skirt and I'm too stupid to stop it. I guess my question is : Why this immediately level of intimacy ?(especially the issue of possible pregnancy) because NOW, he hardly contacts me? Feedback? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:03:40 PM | CHEQUE PLEASE!!
Truth, there's no such thing as a stupid question-TruthinessInc | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:09:19 PM | | It doesn't sound like intimacy to me, it sounds like casual sex. He got want he wanted, and he's moved on to find it somewhere else. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:09:41 PM | Gosh, where to start? You're going to get a number of responses on here. Some nice - some will cut you to the quick. Thought I'd warn you so you'd be prepared. Take the advice that makes sense to you - try to have a thick skin with whatever hurts.
That said...have you not been with anyone in a while? Are you really thinking that having sex with him on the first date - and using no condom, to boot - shows him your trust - in that you have "some level of intimacy between you"? It takes time to develop trust between two people and even couples who have been together their entire lifetimes aren't able to read each others' minds. You were with him - hoping it would show him how serious you are about him - hoping it will bring him closer to you. He had sex. Simple.
On the second date - hand up the skirt. What was the problem with that? You'd already crossed into that level of intimacy, no? Are you not into public displays of affection? Did he go to far? Tell him. A man will respect you much more if you tell him what you really think and feel. And why wouldn't you want to tell him what you really think and feel. Why this immediate level of intimacy? Because you both felt a sexual attraction and you acted on it. Why the possible pregnancy? Because you took that risk. Do you think he respects you MORE because you risked pregnancy and STDs? If so, you have so very much to learn about yourself and you really should think about doing that before you try to enter into a relationship.
Good luck with the responses you get here - even if it hurts, there are some things that will be said here that you have to hear. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:13:15 PM | You are 34 yrs old....... you can't bring yourself to say the word "cum".....
you had unprotected sex on the first date......allowed a man to fondle you in public......
and now you haven't heard from him.
and you really have to question why???
and they really allow you to be a probation officer?
Sorry, but I sincerely hope you practice better judgement w/ the convicts you are responsible for. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:14:39 PM | | Not at all judging you but I do have a question. Why would you think that having unprotected sex with someone on a first date would create a level of intimacy? It is my opinion that if a man or woman is willing to have unprotected sex with a complete stranger then they probably don't value themselves much. Or, they have an agenda to share whatever lovely virus that was given to them with complete disregard. My suggestion would be to visit your local health department and then consider counseling to work on your esteem and self worth. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:15:11 PM |
why did he...
Not throwing stones, but...the better question to ask is....
WHY DID YOU? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:33:46 PM |
It doesn't sound like intimacy to me, it sounds like casual sex. He got want he wanted, and he's moved on to find it somewhere else.
Not for nothing, but I wonder if they day will ever come, where a woman will say "hey I got what I wanted, now its time for me to find someone else"? Or perhaps a man will say, "she got what she wanted, now she's off to find someone else"?
Why is the finger always pointed at the guy when it takes "two to tango"?
Will the day ever come when we all (Men and Women) can face the reality that sex, whether casual or not, is a pleasurable and satisfying experience?
Birds do it, Bees do it, why can we humans do it? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:38:19 PM | I'm sitting here, quite perplexed. There is something about you OP that doesn't seem right. I can't quite place my finger on it, but it's a gut instinct I have with these things.
I am having a difficult time to imagine that you are really this thick. You are a probation officer...obviously educated enough to have obtained your designation and yet you are foolish enough to have sex with a man the first time without a condom to show "intimacy?"
Either this is a joke you are playing, a ruse you conduct in order to gain attention or you are seriously needing some psychological assistance with the "issues" you profess to have on your profile.
I don't know which one it is, pick one, at least you're honest...you DO have issues.
::::walks away baffled:::: | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:40:28 PM | Good God, you behave and write like a sixteen year old. Seriously, how stupid can you be? Having sex with a guy on the first date, no protection and so on? What do you expect of him? He doesn't know you and I think that it is not the sex what makes a man come back and try to get to know you. I think man want to be mentaly stimulated as well. A guy will come back if you have something to offer to him besides sex, he can buy sex but he can't buy a mental connection. He probably thought that you are not the brightest tool in the shed (judging by your actions) and is off to find someone else.
Just my thoughts. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:41:18 PM | | Just checked out your profile....should have figured...a blond LOLOLOL | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:44:47 PM | Wow!...Just...wow!
You are in a postion of public trust? An authority figure of sorts?? No wonder people are so hard on our justice system!
as the post #9 says...you really need to get some help! Step down from your position until you straighten out your own life!! | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:48:52 PM |
I'm sitting here, quite perplexed. There is something about you OP that doesn't seem right. I can't quite place my finger on it, but it's a gut instinct I have with these things.
I am having a difficult time to imagine that you are really this thick. You are a probation officer...obviously educated enough to have obtained your designation and yet you are foolish enough to have sex with a man the first time without a condom to show "intimacy?"
Either this is a joke you are playing, a ruse you conduct in order to gain attention or you are seriously needing some psychological assistance with the "issues" you profess to have on your profile.
I don't know which one it is, pick one, at least you're honest...you DO have issues.
::::walks away baffled::::
I agree with Miss on this. You're a probation officer? Was this guy one of your clients? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:49:52 PM | Surely a disgruntled EX BF made this fictitious profile, posted his EX GF's pictures and made this shyt up to post to the forums.....or even logged on to her account and posted as her. LOL!
If this is a real profile and a legit forum post all I have to say is you're an idiot and I'm hopeful you're not brooding one too.
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:52:44 PM | Ok, so I don't know what it is like in the US, but I've met a few people from here and dated a couple over the years and it hasn't really worked out. But that is beside the point. There are a good portion of guys I know that come on here from time to time and all they want to do is hook up with people and complete the chase.
I'm sure that people have mentioned that some guys like the chase, and I am pretty sure I can vouch for that here. I think he has pushed your limits pretty far right away just to see what was there and it closed off his chase.
I see it a lot with the people I work with, if the chase is over before an emotional bond is built, then the relationship will fail for sure, but if he chases long enough to build up some level of emotional attachment then pushing the limits is fine, and the risks of the resturant would just be a adventurous bonus.
That's my 2 Cents I guess. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 7:59:36 PM |
Slept with him on first date..no condom..bad move I know but I thought that showed some level of intimacy between us.
Ok...
Let's see, No condom... and you don't know his status regarding STD's like HIV etc....
Let me guess, he probably told you he was 'clean' right? Hopefully he was, but usually guys will say ANYTHING to get laid...and some guys mistakenly think that as long as there are no blisters, dripping pus or burning/itching that they are clean... they just don't bother getting tested until something hurts... (and even then, might not - they hope maybe it will go away on it's own....)
Ok... as soon as you can arrange a doctor's visit to get checked... the bad news, to get reliable results may take 3-6 months after exposure.... It can take that long for the STD to incubate, but you're still infectious if you have anything...
Second date, he asks to you-know-what IN me. And he knows I'm not on the pill or anything.
ok... well, now if you're pregnant you have a whole lot more to worry about....
Oh also on second date at restaurant he was putting his hand up my skirt and I'm too stupid to stop it.
you did all of the above, and it takes you until this to realise...
Why this immediately level of intimacy ? Simple, because you had sex on the first date you went from potential relationship to sex toy.
because NOW, he hardly contacts me? Once you had sex on the first date :
1... Either he got what he wanted and he just moved on to the next girl...
2... Decided you weren't long term relationship potential because you were too easy...
3... He thinks that you probably do this with every guy... and he doesn't want to be dating a girl who does....
4... Or ....he is worried he might have caught an STD from you... because he has this blister, and dripping pus or burning/itching.....
5... He's decided you're only for a good time, not a long time... | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 8:11:19 PM | | I really hope this is a joke. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 8:37:56 PM | I'm going to translate the OP's post
I met this go on POF and we went out twice so far. I think I'm getting mixed signals, so please help. We bumped uglies on the first date...I'm so easy to get that I let him do me without a condom. Gosh I'm smart. Btw I wasn't on the pill either, and he knew it.
Anyways, on our 2nd date I was naked again, and he wanted to blow his load inside of me this time. It's right here and then that I wondered to myself why he put his hand up my skirt in public. For some reason I think this means he's committed and I can't seem to realize that the 3 things he likes about me are titty 1, titty 2, and having his snake investigate my holes.
So guys help me out? Does this guy just enjoy cumming his brains out, or does he also get a thrill off the fact that he might get me prego? | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 8:41:46 PM | | I did a ten year study on relationship for an upcoming book. When a guy first meets you he already has plans to either date you long term or dump you. No amount of sex will change the plan his brain set in motion. So when he met you he had already planned to dump you. So next time make the guy wait...and the long term guys will stick around. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 8:45:32 PM |
I am starting to realize ( I think ) that this POF guy I went out with twice doesn't really like me but I am getting mixed signals and would like feedback. Slept with him on first date..no condom
No wonder you've got almost 70 people favoriting you...
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Posted: 6/10/2009 9:27:29 PM | You have no idea what intimacy really is. What you are referring to is someone that got personal with you, physically familiar with you very quickly.
You are not stupid. You are ignorant. That is not an insult, as being ignorant give you a chance to become aware of a lesson. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 9:36:36 PM | should have figured...a blond LOLOLOL
Alright, missdi123, no stereotyping, please! | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 9:42:11 PM | ahahahahahahahahaha...
it's very unfortunate that natural selection, in the case of humans, and more specifically in your case, acts in the opposite manner than the entirety of every remaining creature on this planet...
and you say there may be another one like you on the way??
oh lord. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 9:42:28 PM | | If you came here looking for an answer... you already know. He already got what he wanted from you. I'm sure you'll hear from him when he needs a quick, easy, lay. No offense. If you were looking for a serious relationship with that guy, you should have taken it seriously. You can't create any level of intimacy by giving it all up on the first date. | |
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Posted: 6/10/2009 10:02:02 PM | **walks in and reads posts....Looks around for the camera crew**
Have we just been Punk'd????
Is this serious??
Is she real???
**walks back out shaking head and yelling "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME"** | |
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