| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:42:10 AM | Reason im asking, I have been approached by a woman before who was into this and open about it. I met her a few times, but we just didn't click. But I would have no problem with it myself if she was faithful and the right person for me.
Intresting to know your views on this. Is it a no go, or would you consider it? | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 12:20:56 PM |
Pain has very little to do with it.
*dingdingding* Baldy is right, imo. Pain is but a small portion of what BDSM is all about. It's primarily a mental thing.
There is such a fine line between pleasure and pain... have you never had a woman dig her nails into you just before you climaxed, or spanked her while doing it doggy? I know I like certain things done to me, it just helps me to reach orgasm sooner.
BDSM isn't about hurting someone.. it's about pleasing them. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 12:48:32 PM | I don't think I could bring myself to inflict pain on a woman
It's not about pain.
Please don't fall into the same stereotypical ideas of what BDSM is about.
There's plenty of sites out there where you can do some good research, and really learn what it's about.
As for dating someone in the lifestyle... well, that's tricky.
For most in the lifestyle, someone who's vanilla just doesn't cut it for them. They either need someone to serve, or seek someone who will serve them. They have needs that many vanilla people can't understand. Sometimes they will try to teach others what it is that drives them. But it's not always something that someone can learn.
I know many subs who have tried to help teach their vanilla partner to dominate them. But, it's something that has to come from the heart. It's not just something that's easily picked up.
As for the pain... it's not about inflicting pain... it's about inflicting pleasure.
EDIT:
I'm not that meek or controling.
Again, a HUGE misconception.
Trust me my friend, most submissive people I have known, have been ANYTHING but meek.
Submission is not about being "weak". It's a choice. It's a comfort. It's something they desire deep inside. They don't serve someone because they've been forced to, they serve because they WANT to. The Dom has to be worthy of their respect and submission. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 12:51:34 PM | | Honestly, the deal breaker would be are they into BDSM as a lifestyle (collared, total control in most aspects of every day life), or just in the bedroom. Tried the BDSM life style, and it's not for me. I'm not that meek or controling. In the bedroom, well it's a fun way to spice things up. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 1:03:28 PM |
TI would only consider it if it was something I am into. Which I am not so it would not work out in the long run then.
Hmm albeit a bit selfish I understand the hesitance.I personally enjoy the BDSM thing and have expressed interest with a few women and all and all people are more receptive once you bridge the gap,the gap being the truth and the misconceptions about BDSM.
I don't have any qualms with anyone who wouldn't be into trying it but it is truly a mind blowing experience if under the watchful eye of a good mistress. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 3:39:46 PM | | For those of you who are equating BDSM with darkness and pain, do a little research. Every heard of sensual sadism? There is a softer side.. it's not all about whips and chains and blood.... mmmmm... chains... whips... *shakes head*.. um.. yeah. Anyway.. BDSM is what YOU want it to be for YOU and your partner. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:33:26 PM | Maybe i didn't go into enough detail. As someone has said, its about pleasing each other. Pain doesn't have to be involved. Tickeling, foot whorship, body whorship or temptations is another way.
It's an agreement between you and your partner, but it's not for everyone.
What im asking is, for those of you who have never had expecience in it, if you had a guy/woman intrested in this, would you try it out, or would you end it there and then, or even compromise? | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:27:34 PM | God, YES.  (I don't care for the S&M part, I prefer the B&D part.)
But it only works if you're both into it. It doesn't have to be a 24/7 lifestyle, but it can be a fun way to "spice things up" every once in awhile. It just depends on what your personal boundaries are sexually and what type of things you think you might enjoy. But if you feel you're just doing it to please your partner, and you're not really into it, then things can start to sour in the bedroom. It really only works if you're both into it. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:50:54 PM |
Reason im asking, I have been approached by a woman before who was into this and open about it. I met her a few times, but we just didn't click. But I would have no problem with it myself if she was faithful and the right person for me.
Intresting to know your views on this. Is it a no go, or would you consider it?
I think by labeling things you somehow cordon them off and make them sound scarier than they actually are.
I know that the whole pain thing has been repeated many times but I'd be open to at least hearing about things and then considering doing them if they appealed to me and again, if it wasn't painful.
I'm not really sure what it's all about but I've had more than one person tell me I'd make a good dominatrix...
I've never been really sure how to take that!
Why would you bring up faithfulness in relation to this particular subject matter? | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:52:45 PM |
What im asking is, for those of you who have never had expecience in it, if you had a guy/woman intrested in this, would you try it out, or would you end it there and then, or even compromise?
How do you think anyone got started in this? There had to be a first step, an introduction at some point... I've had a lot of men approach me looking for something that I'm not comfortable giving them because what they are asking for goes against my moral fiber.
(I don't care for the S&M part, I prefer the B&D part.)
I'm kind of partial to the D/s aspect myself.
Why would you bring up faithfulness in relation to this particular subject matter?
Because many go on the assumption that because someone is sexually open, that it means they are out screwing anything they can get their hands on. There are as many permutations to this as stars in the sky. Some are strongly monogamous, some are poly, some are swingers, some are in open relationships, some cuckold, some abstain, some are gay/lesbian, some are straight, some bi, some blah blah blah.. you get the idea? Faithfulness has no bearing on the type of sexuality one engages in.. it's a character trait. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:22:12 PM | | Yes. My preferences may match some of those people. But my preferences are just that, preferences, not dealbreakers. No need to freak out a potentially great guy who may be opposed to anything but vanilla. There are too many other factors that have to be right that are dealbreakers for any of this to be anything other than just any other preferences. I wouldn't insist on other things so not this either. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:13:35 AM | BDSM is the most interesting lifestyle I have come across, as of now.
I went to a "dungeon" a few times, with the hopes of finding compatibility with my lifestyle (Simillar to BD minus the SM). While I was there I met many awesome people, I had to fend off a few Doms (Which was really hard, guess I am a 'wimp' and a 'sub'.) :-P
Regardless, they are some of the most interesting people I have run into. The inventions they come up with to 'express' the lifestyle WOW! I am not one for pain, but noticing creative thinking, that is always a fun experience!
Topicwise, I could do the BD of the BDSM, the SM part is a very big complicated thing though. So depending just how SM it was (IE Spankings, Paddles, Whips, Cat-O-Nine (Yikes!)) I could do it. Can I make the safe-word(s), "Wait", "Ouch", and "Hsssss" (Hissing sound)? | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:26:59 AM | | I think being open with different stuff is healthy but if you're not into something then you're not into it. My only issue with stuff like bdsm is if a person ONLY enjoys that kind of sexual activity, same thing with lets say missionary style, no reason to just confide yourself to one kind of sex | |
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