| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/11/2009 2:54:36 PM | | What is it with people, Wife in particular. That cheat on there husband and think it is right. Wedding vows aparently dont mean anything anymore. I would have gone to the ends of the world for this woman but she had other plans after I made a move for her to be close to her parents in NC. Deep inside my heart I still love this woman but at the same time I hate what she did to me and to ruin my marage with her. So anyway. Why do we say the vows if we are not going to live by them ??? I would have . I found out about her and my heart BROKE !!!!! | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:05:50 PM | Well I remember in my wedding vows something about "forsaking all others". My wife's priorities were our daughters...her grandkids...then her parents. Once our daughters college was payed for and the weddings were payed for....I was thrown under the bus and kicked to the curb. I realized that for 28 years I was nothing more than a sperm donor and a paycheck. Mine didn't cheat on me but she screwed me, and didn't even give me the courtesy of a reach around as the saying goes! | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/11/2009 5:46:50 PM | You have to learn to let it go, we will never really know what made our spouses cheat. Well partially I do know why mine did because I asked him point blank, his answer..... I thought no matter what I did you'd never leave because you had no place to go here in the states. And since he had it made, he had no reason to leave he just went and got sumsum on the side........ Boy did I prove him wrong 
Remember the best revenge is a happy life without them. | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:54:45 AM | There are still some around who know what those vows mean and will honor those vows. It just appears that those "some" are a bit difficult to find. There is no rhyme or reason to human behavior.
When I married my ex, I meant every word of the vows. I took them literally. He survived 5 head injuries during our marriage and our middle daughter survived 4 head injuries in the last 6 years of her life. I gave up any hope of a life of my own to be a full-time caregiver. I raised our 3 daughters alone and was solely responsible for my ex recovering enough to once again be a productive member of society. I was miserable from the day of his first head injury, but my wants and needs came last. I married him for better or worse, not better and no head injury. I fully intended to honor my vows to the end.
No matter how bad things got (and each head injury worsened the already terrible symptoms), I would not have even entertained the idea of possibly cheating on him. Unfortunately, his mental and emotional problems from the head injuries were what did us in. He used our middle daughter's death in 06 as an excuse to abandon me for a younger woman. We never once discussed our daughter's death. There were no fights, no discussions, no confrontations. He simply didn't come home one day.
No matter how badly I got burned (and I lost everything I worked my entire life for), I would still get married again and would still take my vows seriously. So there are those out there who still believe.
Edited to add: His first head injury occurred 6 years after we got married. He abandoned me 17 years after that first injury. I was miserable for 17 years, but I intended to keep the vow I made. | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:07:55 AM | | I truly would like to believe that all women are not this way. However, I have been in the same position you are in. I swore I would never marry again. My best advice is that time will heal you, and you will be able to give yourself again. | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:45:33 PM | | Well, not only wives in particular. My ex did the same, you sound just like I sound. I also believe, why say the vows, if they really don't matter? Why get married anymore? But, I guess as everyone tells me, when I meet the "actual" one, I will feel differently, that this last guy was just for practice!! | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:46:39 PM | | Funny, I asked mine why he cheated...he told me "I don't know, its just something that I do". What kind of answer is that? | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:01:37 PM | People either have or do not have moral standards of any kind. When they don't, it ALL goes out the window. Men point it out in women, women point it out in men.
You can't control people, but you can influence them to be better. Friends should hold friends accountable. Husbands and wives should keep vows. That is my belief. It is the way it was meant to be.
I have defended people's freedom so they can have the right to make a right choice. It's their fault they don't make them. It isn't your fault either what someone else does either. But sometimes we have to sit back and look at ourselves as well, and humble ourselves. | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:15:57 AM | I know! I've got a young woman right now who is being very friendly with me-! While I'm flattered that she likes me (she's beautiful), SHE'S MARRIED! I don't think I wanna put myself in a situation alone with her, lest I'm not gonna be strong enough to fight off her advances.
I'm thinking about talking with her husband (who I also know) about this. He was right there last night when she said "It's so nice to see you!" and gave me a big, full hug. I accepted the hug, but was a bit taken aback. Maybe he WANTS to dump her on me! As far as her, I'm thinking of saying "while I appreciate this attention, YOU'RE MARRIED, and, if you're not happy with your husband, go see a marriage counselor to see if you can work things out, and, if that doesn't work, get a divorce and then I'd love to be with you".
"Foresaking all others..." | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:19:54 AM | | I am in the same boat as a lot of you. I caught my husband of almost 3 years cheating on me through sex sites online and I intend to leave him after I have our 2nd child I am now carrying. I am hurt and betrayed by this and don't feel that marriage could be an option again in the future for me. cause how can I trust that the vows I make will matter to the next guy? I would love to believe that they would, however after what I've been through I don't know that this is possible. maybe someday I will marry again. but it will be very hard to get over this. I am still trying to get the strength to leave my husband who has done this to me. I feel I have devoted to much to this marriage to just let it go like that. but I deserve better. and I intend to move on with my life. | |
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| Broken heart and wedding vows
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:33:39 PM | I guess when you think the whole aspect of why people cheat? there are as many reason's as there are days in the month. Truly, I made the mistake of thinking that if I worshiped the ground my son's mother walked upon, it would secure my place in her heart and soul?
I worked two jobs like many to provide a secure life style. participated in the raising of our child, diapers and all. Made her hot tea and toast when she requested some, and my hands were always providing a soothing massage at the end of the long day.
When I attempted to become affectionate I was told not too, when I attempted to create some intimacy in the bedroom I was told to leave her alone? WoW, Much to my surprise did I find out she had been carrying on an extra marital affair with another married man 24 years my senior?
She didn't need me for the functions of her husband, she relished the security I provided. The affections that I nearly pleaded for were given willingly to a father type figure who she had pursued since she was 18.
Her own father cared for me as a son vs. a son-n-law. He was devastated to find out that she had betrayed our marriage and blamed him for re-marrying a second time to a woman who lived 2 hours drive from his daughter at a young age. | |
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