| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:18:35 AM | I didn't know how to search for this exact idea so sorry if it is been done before. I have been reading the forums today and there is so much hating of women by men and of men by women that it made me stop to wonder. Do you think most of us are single becasuse we hate the opposite sex???
For example today there is a thread about a women who thinks all men aren't creative enough and another one where a man thinks that all women want from him is to pay for there dinner. These are pretty hateful things to say if you think about it. And these are people who want a date???
Any way like I said maybe this has been talked about alot but I would be interested to here what every body thinks if we are to hateful to the opposite sex. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:23:29 AM | I don't think it is about hating the opposite sex. I think that some people just have specific "non negotiables" that they apply to people and if someone they are interested in has a characteristic that falls into that catergory, they become bitter about it, they do the "why does he/she do this, or that?" instead of stepping back to realize that THEY may be the problem.
I think people who are meeting people who are continually not meeting thier standards need to take a step back and realize that thier standards may not be realistic. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:15:09 PM | No, however I have seen evidence that there are quite a few people that have some pretty unrealistic ideas about certain things. There seems to be a "catalogue" mentality with some, some are here for ego boosts, some are here to get some on the down low, some are here to find someone, some are here for the forums.
I think there are "haters", but they are pretty evident after a while, I do however feel compassion for those people that are here to find someone to connect with, and they have to put up with all the garbage that some people feel entitiled to dish out, men and women alike... | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:28:37 PM | I agree insofar as there sometimes seems to be a laundry-list mentality.
I mean, yeah, wouldn't life be grand if you could check off the cool options on a mate like you could on a new car?
Tall
Fabulous hair
Toned abs
Model-esque face
Power windows
Heated seats
15 year drivetrain warranty
...
uh, well, you get the idea. I think some people really have this mentality. Yeah, I'm sure some things are reasonable to have as must-haves, but when the must-have list gets really long, well, obviously there's some serious problems with unrealistic expectations.
There's also the almost cliched bunch of expressions that too many people use, and that, well, maybe somebody knows what they mean, but I certainly don't - but that'd be a separate thread entirely. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:16:49 PM | What you're seeing is how the few haters can invite the many frustrated into a group tirade. You can also find the same kind of dog pile when someone starts up with how much they love the opposite sex. The reason negativity is easier to provoke and also stands out more, is that people tend to take it personally. If you post something negative about a woman or some woman let alone all women, then any woman who identifies as a woman who has been put down gets triggered to stand up for herself, or on behalf of womankind, or because she feels good when she hammers on a bad man. Same if a woman talks bad about a man. When it's positive, people are not so quick to react, not feeling threatened and angry. They are more likely in that case to smile quietly and savor the moment, no typing needed.
In many cases there was a good amount of hatred involved in relationships ending, so, people turn out to be human. Love and hate have some kind of relationship in the world of emotions. You can be loving, hateful, or ambivalent, or excuse yourself altogether.
Just be glad it's online or else there would be knife fights, and a lot of near drownings from all the drinks being poured on people's heads. Then again, I expect there would be some under-the-table action and an epidemic of hickeys, as well. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:18:22 PM | | If they all hate the opposite sex, would that mean they're here to look for something/someone they don't hate, that means same sex. If a person who likes the same sex hates their same sex, meaning they're looking for the opposite sex? So you're saying, these people are here to look for people they aren't looking for? | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:30:42 PM |
Tall
Fabulous hair
Toned abs
Model-esque face
Power windows
Heated seats
15 year drivetrain warranty
I think anyone over 5'7 is tall. I like fabulous hair. Can't I have just a couple things off the list? By the way, your hair is fabulous.
I don't hate the men at all. Not even a drop. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:26:09 PM | I looooooooooooove men :) Even when they're being pig-headed, arrogant, egotisical, and idiotic, I still love 'em, as there are far more things I like about them than I dislike.
I do think people are sometimes too picky ... but I've always thought that in finding your partner you should be as picky as you want to be, after all, you're the one who has to spend all your time with them, they should be exactly what you want or pretty damned close to it anyways. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:59:22 PM | Sometimes the negatives in the forums bowls me over, and never more so than when I first poked my nose out here. I've been reminded of that in the last few weeks as my sweetie started to read the forums rather than just lurk my posts (I suppose I have to take some responsibility for that as I have read him so many posts I found thought-provoking or insightful that it's rather natural that he began to read them for himself). He was dismayed by much of what he reads here "Do women really feel men are this bad?" "Are there that many people who are so damaged/have an axe to grind/whatever"
What pushes our buttons does so, or so it seems to me, because the subject resonates within us positively or negatively. I use much of what I read to examine myself and ideas; often the negative has taught me more about myself - or another - than the positive has. And I suppose that is also a factor in the type of posts as well: you tend to post on the subjects that grab you and a proportion of them are going to be subjects you're examining or working through/out for yourself.
I've been in some really huge and often really negative threads here and have watched the transformation that sometimes happens as we all hang in with each other and try to present our side and understand the others. If we slog it out - and the thread doesn't get deleted - many of us come out the other side touched, changed, transformed in some way large or small from the experience and the new understanding.
People who have been here awhile - some of them anyway - do evolve their positions and grow. I've seen it with myself and with others. Actually it's kinda cool. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:11:32 PM |
So you're saying, these people are here to look for people they aren't looking for?
Its not exactly what I was meaning. It just seems like alot of people at least on the forums get really angry about the opposite sex but they are also here to date some body from the opposite sex. It is strange to me to!!! But what I was really meaning is I am wondering if most of us are singles because some place deep insidde us we for some reason hate the opposite sex. I don't think this is true for me but I wonder if it is a issue with some peopole. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:28:06 PM | | Well sure there are most likely some people that are how you mention. I'd say not the majority though. I refuse to let others make me angry, I am a mature woman and behave as one. Some people just have to vent...about anything. I have never "hated" the opposite sex. I have never been treated bad by men in general nor will I allow the opposite sex to treat me in such a way. Ancient history tells us that men need a woman and a woman needs a man, its still the same now in current times, albeit we all need each other for one reason or another. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:49:03 PM | I'm on POF because sometimes I enjoy the cat fights. Oh, and the generalizations about weight, sex, and money, you wouldn't believe some of the "Experts" that contribute to these forums. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:23:24 PM | *I am wondering if most of us are singles because some place deep insidde us we for some reason hate the opposite sex.*
What about all the people both here and out in the real world who are not "single" by choice? I'm referring to those who are widowed or divorced who would relish being back in a long-term relationship again because they....believe it or not! ...like the opposite sex.
SARL | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:54:55 PM | First, what are "bedrumeyes"? Are those eyes made red by drinking too much rum while lying in bed?
I am not here because I hate men--I might be crazy, but I ain't stoopid. If that is the opinion that you have formed of both men and women, you need to read ALL the postings on forums before making asking such a question. There are many kind and courteous people of both sexes on POF. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:09:18 PM | I have a friend who posts in the forums. Just reading his posts, you would believe this guy is the biggest misogynist in the world. In face to face, he is one of the sweetest, thoughtful, most generous guys I know. He has two lovely daughters and 6 granddaughters who absolutely adore him. I asked him why he posts the things he does about women, and his reply was "The devil made me do it" and then chuckled.
I often think that a lot of people who appear to be over the top, write outragious things just to stir the pot. | |
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:10:20 PM | Fi Fi Foncho wrote:
I think anyone over 5'7 is tall. I like fabulous hair. Can't I have just a couple things off the list? By the way, your hair is fabulous.
Well, so far, anyway - as a guy who is obsessed with his own hair, I know that it used to be even more fabulous!
I wonder, though, whether or not I'll wind up looking like Larry Fine (minus the violin skills) in a few years. Of course, I've been worrying about that since the early 1990s. So far, so good.
So, as someone I know was wont to say "Flattery will get you everywhere!"
Thankfully nobody's ever demanded a 15-year powertrain warranty, as I don't come with that.... in the past, my mom had told all-comers that my warranty had LONG since expired, and I come strictly "as-is"
Tall . . interesting - the extremes I've heard, at the shortest, one woman once said anything over 5'3" is tall. On the other end, one woman put it at "over 6 feet"
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| are we all here because we hate the opposite sex???
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:26:59 PM | That's easy to see with some, but we still wuv em. Personally I don't hate anyone.
It takes time for some to really be grateful for life and learn how to enjoy it, and be wary of those who "hate" you because you're happy!
Believe me, when they find love that animosity/bitterness will evaporate (One would hope)
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