| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:44:21 AM | My profile used to say I was here for "dating" and I got up to 25 emails every day. 2 weeks ago, the latest a-hole proved to be the straw that broke this camel's back, and i changed it to say "long term."
Since then, I've gotten 2 e-mails, both of which sounded relatively skeptical. The one man I found on here who seemed to be legitimate (he was gorgeous, smart and "looking to settle down"--his also said "long term") turned out to be a gay guy who just really wanted to marry a woman and have a family.
what the hell is this world coming to, anyway? is that saying true, that all good men are either taken or gay?
i'm starting to really believe that it is. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:53:16 AM | Hmmm... I'm not taken so thanks for helping me out of the closet, sweetie!
Everything makes so much sense now! As soon as I'm finished crocheting, I'm going to change my profile to reflect my new sexuality.
Headline: Hello Sailor! | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:55:22 AM |  I think you and I must have been talking to the same guy. I had one who said the exact same thing plus he wanted to save face with his family per his inheritance...
I think most men think your only out for marriage and looking for a quick fix when you post "long term".. Just post in your profile what your looking for and what you exspect right off so there is no questions....
And ya, I too am looking for an honest man who isn't gay, or married, or have five other girlfreinds like the last one... I'll stay celebate if that's the case....  | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:12:26 AM | One of the women at church who is gorgeous inside and out said she went through around 300 guys before she met her husband whom she has now been married to for around 40 years.
Her daughter, equally gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, finally married at 29 because she knew that there was enough wrong with the other sorta suitable guys to wait around for the right one.
You keep seeing yourself with the right guy, he will show up. This downe attitude at 23, probably not helping you.
Nope, we just move to the Seattle area!
Would be smarter to move to Texas where one only occasionally needs an umbrella. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:22:21 AM |
what the hell is this world coming to, anyway?
It's not really coming to anything (IMO) it just keeps going. Keep up or get off..hehehe double entendre and puns intended.
is that saying true, that all good men are either taken or gay?
No. But it is much easier to look at a bunch of people you aren't in a meaningful relationship with, take certain attributes and behavior, then start looking solely for those thinking they can all coexist in the same personality. Then get disappointed that it doesn't exist, and start blaming everyone else for not making available that which you think you want.
My profile used to say I was here for "dating" and I got up to 25 emails every day.
So you are being passive on the dating site? Waiting for people to contact you? So in essence you are sitting on a street corner waving a big "I'm single and ready to mingle!" sign and getting mad that the people pulling over aren't the embodiment of what you believe is good?
turned out to be a gay guy who just really wanted to marry a woman and have a family.
At this moment there are over 10,000 signed onto this one dating site...and you've already come to the conclusion they are all either bad or gay? (Because the "good" ones are taken, so aren't on here). And you based this on a few emails, and only one in the case of differentiating into a gay group?
Hmmm...could it be possible the problem isn't the guys? | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:25:18 AM | I hope not! 
I wouldn't have joined PoF if I believed that! It's just "challenging" to meet decent men who aren't already taken, and they are here (in PoF). | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:38:21 AM | In my opinion, decent men INCLUDE men we'd like to sleep with. So I guess I'm talking beyond decent. David Beckham decent. Maybe my standards are too high and that's my problem. But SweetBabe, I totally agree--if I have to remain celibate, I think I've reached a point in my life where I most definitely will.
I'm surprised to hear that there's more than one gay guy on here who's "seeking a woman." The one I talked to just had a very unsatisfying childhood because his parents died when he was little, and he wanted to find a woman so that he could have kids that were really his own and live the part of the so-called American Dream that he missed out on.
All the STRAIGHT guys these days, at least in my experience, expect women to spend a good 5-6 months waiting around while they decide whether or not it's going to be an "official relationship." (Just so you know. I'm primarily talking about men closer to my age. I know that there ARE a lot of older guys, seeking women older than me, who DO have a good head on their shoulders and good intentions.)
As for me personally, I like to keep things simple. If we're attracted enough to each other to sleep together, meet all of each other's friends and family and spend all of our free time together for weeks on end, that IS a relationship. Sometimes, relationships don't last; in that case, we break up, and the relationship ends there. Nowdays, people (or at least men) tend to view "starting a relationship" as if it were becoming engaged.
I'm assuming technology is the main reason for this, because we have relationship statuses on sites like facebook and myspace. "Changing one's status" seems the modern-day equivalent of marriage proposal (for GUYS, that is).
Maybe I am just self-conscious in this respect, but I have an issue with someone who, after we have been seeing each other every other day for a month, and we've gone away for a weekend together, still has "single and looking" on his facebook and myspace, for everyone to see it . It makes me feel used and as though I am not being taken seriously. I don't expect him to marry me; I don't even expect him to remain with me for any set amount of time. But I do expect him to acknowledge me as his OFFICIAL, EXCLUSIVE GIRLFRIEND until one of us decides it's just not working anymore. You have no idea how many guys have told me, when I finally bring the issue up: "Hey, y'know, I really like ya, baby! But I'm totally open to the idea of meeting somebody else an i just don' wanna rule it out, y'know?"
FOR CHRISSAKE, SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID! BE in a relationship with me, put effort into it, and if you meet someone else, like I said before, THAT'S THAT. We go our separate ways.
Why is it that NO GUYS seem capable of understanding/doing that? | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:47:17 AM | | Don't change your standards...that will only lead you to someone that you can no longer be with. You are young and the guys around your age really don't want to be so exclusive, so there is plenty of time for you to find that person. Enjoy your singlehood! | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:54:43 AM |
And once again "I" moved to the Seattle area!
Men I'd sleep with are not only attractive, but local. I'm lazy. If it ain't convenient, it ain't for me.
In my opinion, decent men INCLUDE men we'd like to sleep with. So I guess I'm talking beyond decent. David Beckham decent. Maybe my standards are too high and that's my problem.
Ok..thought so...was just checkin'.
All the STRAIGHT guys these days, at least in my experience, expect women to spend a good 5-6 months waiting around while they decide whether or not it's going to be an "official relationship." (Just so you know. I'm primarily talking about men closer to my age. I know that there ARE a lot of older guys, seeking women older than me, who DO have a good head on their shoulders and good intentions.)
That's interesting. All the straight guys I meet in my experience want to become exclusive in under three dates. Talk about extremes...six months is a bit long, six days is a bit soon...some moderation and common sense with a discussion would be refreshing. And the key is (romantic or not) a full blown discussion about what exactly you're doing - it's far too easy to assume exclusivity with a lot of time spent and sexual activity - truth is not everyone looks at it that way. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:56:35 AM | Nah, they're not all taken OP.
They just live in different locations.
Or under rocks.
Listen OP, you will come across a myriad of men in your life, some decent, some not so decent. Whether in the real world or on here, which at times seems surreal.
It takes time.
Don't think that your "soul mate" (for lack of a better term) is just gonna fall outta the sky and onto your lap. Just ignore the idiots.
Decent men are everywhere, they just don't shout it all day long from the rooftops.
Don't judge one against the other. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:57:59 AM | coolchick, guys your age are NOT looking to settle down. I'm not saying that's right or wrong, I'm just stating a fact. Guys in their 20's just wanna party. I think there are guys who would take on the responsibility of a family if it turned out that way adn I think there are women who take advantage of that and set the "trap". I suppose you could go that route if you want to but you might not get a very committed relationship out of it.
My advice is that you either try to slow down and enjoy being young for awhile, or you look for a guy a few years older than you with an established career. Some guy around 30 would be your best bet.
Good luck!
~Justin | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:02:18 AM | | I remember a very long time ago, a female co worker was fairly frustrated to find that a guy she had been attracted to was gay. In her words, "It makes me so mad that nice girls like me, are looking for nice guys like him, and he has to be gay!" LOL Might be that they are "in touch with their feminine side" enough to just not gross us out with all the scratching and such LOL Also nice to be able to hold a conversation with someone who looks you in the eye, instead of the chest. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:11:40 AM | | I'm sure there are plenty of decent guys out there. But I'm willing to bet you passed a lot of them by because you were not attracted to them so now your being negative on all men because of it. | |
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