| Is she really happy
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:44:46 AM | | My former wife asked for a divorce in sept 2008 ,obtained a lawyer in oct,moved into her own apartment in nov.We were ablended family of 6. married 12 years together 15.I am a very active person.I told her i wanted her to engage in all my activities with me when we were newly married. She told me to do those things(camp, fish, ski ,ride my motorcycle,etc.)with the kids and my friends and she will take care of the house and the children. In may of 2008 her 21 yr. old son came home from college while I was at our camping trailer alone getting it ready for the season,he told her he was gay.She was devestated,all her aspirations of him were gone.I rushed home and comforted her told her we will deal with all the issues as they come,but I did not want any of his parners coming around ,as we have a 13year old son who Idid not want exposed to this.We made a deal not to let this affect our marriage.We went on a nice vacation in july,all seemed well.Then in august I took my son to little leauge world series and came home to the divorce request,out of nowhere!Took her ring off and told me she could not do this any more.Iasked "do what" she told me"live seperate lives".Our divorce was not even final and she had a boyfriend move into her apartment in march.He is still married,been seperated for two years.he rides a motorcycle has a campsite ,fishes.Many things that I do.My question is this ,Can she really be happy this soon after our divorce.With a man who has many of the same intersts as I do,Or is she just filling a void in her self?he was a40 year old man living with his mom. | |
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| Is she really happy
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:47:29 AM | | There is only 1 person who can truly answer if your ex wife is happy and that is her. If you really need to know the answer......go ask her yourself. | |
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| Is she really happy
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:38:23 AM | | It's not always about what hobbies you like to work on,Things you enjoy doing on days off. It's about doing things together with someone you truly like. Some think you have to do things with others and pretend just so they will like you. It fades after awhile and you are the same miserable person. | |
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| Is she really happy
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:52:06 PM | Women can only take being neglected for so long. If you don't take care of what is at home, someone else will. Remember that. Relationships are meant to grow, and 2 become closer, 'as one'. Sound familiar?
The bad thing is people say what they don't mean. She may have meant to say that she supported you in you doing your thing, but what she didn't probably say is that I need you too, and maybe you should have noticed that you were spending more time with others and other things than her. No one wants to constantly feel left out.
It sounds to me she was trying to fill that gap. Of course, it's not the smart decision. Relationships must have clear and common communication to survive. When you lose that at any point, expect issues and drama. She has needs, you have needs. But both of your eyes (you and her) need to be open. People give up before trying to find a resolution to a problem.
I have met a few people across the fields of life, and have found a few interesting things. I met (including a relative) who have divorced each other, and actually remarried each other again after time. Sometimes people do the right thing and resolve bothersome issues from the past and in the process mend old wounds and restore relationships that should have never been lost.
Maybe it's time to clear up on some issues and at least get some things off your chest (both) so you at least have the peace of mind and can either mentally move on or have it restored. | |
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| Is she really happy
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:39:35 PM | They're still in the honeymoon phase of their relations.
They're both definitely happy - really happy.
Everything is still new and exciting. Like teenagers getting away from their parents in their own little love nest. Laughing about all the times they'd almost gotten caught.
Sounds like the deception and cheating that was going on unknown to you got to be too much for her. She tired of living the lie.
Maybe her sons confiding about his shame brought her shame to light.
She wasn't devastated as you foolishly write - she was enlightened and put to shame. Imagine, living life being true to ones self... hard to do, eh?
She just replaced you with a new you - probably long ago and you didn't even know it.
When the shine wears off, she'll learn all that glitters isn't gold.
That won't be of any benefit to you, though... you're still spinning wondering about her! | |
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