| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:53:58 AM | Have you ever used a line that you came to regret? My most regrettable one was at passport control at Sydney airport about 4 years ago. Upon being asked by a customs official, "do you have a criminal conviction in the UK", I replied " I'm sorry, I didn't realise I still needed one". BIG mistake.....Homeward bound 5 hours later. Humourless git.
What have you said in jest that you later came to regret? | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:58:00 AM |
What have you said in jest that you later came to regret?
"Will you marry me" | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:58:23 AM | " I do"
Unfortunately for me the marriage was somewhat longer than the one liner I am not allowed to post, due to its brevity.  
This was supposed to be post number 2 but with the time delay will be on page 2 and d2d by the time it's long enough, sorry  | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:30:24 PM | Phone me or dump me but don't piss me around.........I was very young......... | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:33:19 PM | | As Cleverkitten says, the worst one liner I have said is 'I Do' others however do include 'ok, my number is..... and yes, I have msn' | |
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Travan
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Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:36:07 PM | This girl once said to me "fcuk me or get off me. " We had a hell of a night after that.
So years later I was messing round with this girl, she was laid there and I goes "fcuk me or get off me."
She got off me and said "fcuk you? fcuk you!" and left.
TUT I should know better than to try using chicks lines lol | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:27:02 PM | | ha ha ,class one liner mate,similar happened to me at narita airport in japan,on walking up to customs,the first thing he asked me was' do you speak Japanese' i burst out laughing n said 'do i look like i can speak fcuking Japanese' i was pulled in for drugs n guns of all things | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/20/2009 1:15:36 PM | "I do!"
What a shame the priest didn't tell me that messages this short could not be uttered  | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:52:49 PM | 'What would you like for your breakfast' ?
To a particulary gopping Doris of rather large proportions i met in Weatherby on my first night out after OpTelic 1....She stuck to me like sh*t to a blanket for the rest of the night while my mates took the pi$$....Good old beer goggles eh
I was not amused...at all.. | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:08:06 PM | Q: Why did you do that? (includes stuff like getting married)
A: It seemed like a good idea at the time  I've lost count of the amount of times I've uttered this line  | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:47:44 PM | during a job interveiw i was asked what i thought i had done in life to help me get the job i said I killed a bunch of people once and started laughing.
i told my ex i did not want to get back together because i would have to lock her in a wardrobe at night when i got home because she was so ****ing ugly she would make me throw up. in fact she was really pretty and i still liked her she killed her self a few weeks later | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:08:31 AM | Young lad in pub "How do you chat up a bird these days, I can not work women out?"
Me " Well am not interested in lines I just like being in a person's company and if they've got a bit of honest but interesting and funny banter then am interested"
Young lad cracks with myself and ma mate for a bit, walks back to her house with us for another drink. (She is seeing one of his mates so I thought it was just about their crack)
Three hours and quite a few wines later ma mates away to bed and he turns into a bloody octopus
Me "what I said earlier doesn't mean that because we had a bit of banter that your gonna get your leg over"
young lad not listening and getting frisky muttering utter sh**
Me "no really mate I don't want to stop now please!"
young lad, totally deaf and keeps trying!
Me "Seriously take your F*****g hands off me now or I will have to resort to violence"
Young lad eventually gets the message and leaves
Never again will I answer a man's question about how to pull a bird! | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:41:22 AM | I remember walking into a pub and approaching two girls. The pub was dead quiet so I thought it would be funny to comment on the atmosphere, I asked the first girl "ok I can't take the suspense anymore, who died?". The other girl replied "My mother" and started crying.
My one liner went down like the titanic filled with lead balloons. Aparently they'd just got back from the hospital, I decided against buying a drink and left! | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:52:26 AM | Lol. I probably should know better than to post this but I'm going to, because remembering it made me laugh!..
The one that comes to mind was;
"I want you... NOW!"
.... nothing wrong with that you might say, except it had to be followed witha rather weak and pathetic line that went something like...
"Aargh! Not LITERALLY now, not here anyway.....!"
lol. How sad was that!
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:22:41 AM | Here's another one, it's actually a mean joke I played on my mate.
We were in a pub and the table opposite is full of Polish girls caked upto their eyeballs in mud (sorry.. make up).
My friend says to me "You've been to Poland, you know some chatup lines don't you"
So I tell him, "look, in Poland all the girls have got a thing about princesses, they dream about it, all you have to do is tell them you look like a princess, they will all start laughing with embarrasement and you will be well and truely in there. Plus your a foreigner, they'll be dead impressed a Jamaican has tried to learn some Polish"
So we practise and I teach him his line with spot on clarity, he even put on a really convincing Polish accent.
He went over and said his line, sure enough all the girls burst out laughing. He came back over "Look! I'm in there! They're absolutely loving it".
He went back over to the table and the girls all got up together grabbed their drinks and ran to the other side of the bar.
He came back over, he said to me "I don't get it, I was doing so well"
I said " you was doing great, until you announced that you had just farted and it's going to stink to high heaven"
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:35:05 AM | | Mine is similar to the OP's. Many years ago, on an outward bound flight from from SA, I was asked if I had any firearms in my hand luggage. I thought I was being really smart when I replied that I had hand grenades, dismantled machine guns etc etc. I didn't feel too smart when they made me unpack every item of tightly packed luggage... Never felt so stupid in my life, which of cause I was! | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:36:05 AM |
One liners you regret
"Dave, I'm leaving my mobile in your kitchen for a bit!"
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:07:54 AM | My ex husband had been having a bit of a go, and the conversation descended into one of those "what have you done for me lately" conversations...
He stated - "I walked all the way into town [4 miles] and back to get you that birthday present when we were skint"..... I do regret my rejoinder ...."was it raining??" Sigh. He never did get my sense of humour.
LOL | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:07:23 AM | "I love you"
Messages this dangerous should not be posted/stated nor otherwise delineated. | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:50:53 AM | Is it mine?
Messages this face slapped may not be posted | |
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| One liners you regret
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:35:03 AM |
during a job interveiw i was asked what i thought i had done in life to help me get the job i said I killed a bunch of people once and started laughing.
i told my ex i did not want to get back together because i would have to lock her in a wardrobe at night when i got home because she was so ****ing ugly she would make me throw up. in fact she was really pretty and i still liked her she killed her self a few weeks later
Wow funny guy eh!  | |
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