| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:39:24 PM | | well just a short rant about my broken heart....I started seeing a guy and seven months into the relationship confides he has a gambling addiction. Almost a year into the relationship he breaks up with me. He is divorced lives on base, he's army and has not alot in the material world to offer....me self employed running my own business which does and did take alot of our time together as he was very helpful....I loved him for his kindness and the way he used to treat me... calls me in the morning to say I love you and I call him five hours later to see when he is coming to see me as we lived an hour apart and he dumps me. I miss him and the kids and dog, its like me life has been stolen by this stranger who says he has been thinking of this for awhile. does any of this make sense. He sufferes from post traumatic stress and his family has all called me and told me to wait it out. I am not sure as I see he is back online looking for the high we get from a new relationship to get him thru this slump. so lesson learned people don't love someone if they have no respect for themselves..... | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:30:40 PM | | I am also a 2x combat vet. Post traumatic stress is a serious thing, and it can be overcome quickly or it can take a long while. Give him some space, and offer your support regardless of the relationship. There are a lot of variables when it comes to this condition, and that includes depression, anxiety, low self esteem, bad memories, guilt, insecurity. Combat and high-stress environments are not for everyone. Including men. You would be surprised at what I saw...But anyway, time is what he needs, and you and the family need to support him in getting help and making sure that he knows regardless that everyone he cares about is there to help him see through this. Remember, mental health is priority. | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:30:08 PM | | I am trying to be supportive but it is hard as he pushes me away..... but I am staying in contact with him as I still do believe he is a great guy....he just has issues. I will at least try to be a friend for him as I think he needs all the support he can get as his family is far away. Thanks! | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:30:52 PM | | take it from an old goat who's not only been around the block a time or two, but knows a few others that have too. Never sit and mope and wait for someone who dumps you for any reason. Get some people on that favorites list, make some friends, get busy going and doing the things you like (and not alone), one or more of three things will happen, you'll stay busy and take your mind off him, you'll meet someone new and he'll just fade away, or he'll go "oh my g-d, she's about to forget about me!!!!" | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:30:30 PM | it has nothing to do with respect for themselves; it's addiction;
This guy has kids, a broken relationship, post traumatic stress, and a gambling problem.
I think what you should be more worried about is your man choosing skills. I think you should be more aware of the situation, and not into the phone calls and the I love you's. Many addicts kill people with kindness so they can be enabled by them.
Choose more wisely I think; good luck. | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:54:44 PM | Thanks for your replies....it is true I am aware of these issues and have done some self exploration and I am not so much into the I love you's as it may have seemed, I guess I am worried about someone I care for as I was raised to believe addiction and mental illnesses are a form of sickness such as cancer. I should also let you all know that he had hid it from me and when it all came out he had been gambling free for over two years..... also this raises another issue how does one find someone without issues at my age. I feel as if I am an odd ball on here as I have never been married and I have no kids and I have a great business....hmmmm | |
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| wow was I shocked
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:57:28 PM | | Plenty of people out here that never had kids, some have been married and some not, but be sure that an addict can take away everything you've worked for, and some cancers aren't cureable | |
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