| | i dont understand at allPage 1 of 1 | | he found me about 6 mths ago on here, and over that time we have become close, sharing things with each other that at times has driven us apart now we are up to out third time , each tim eit has been his decision to finish it and each time he comes back , now tells me he loves me and really wants to be with me, so we orgainse to meet i am ratehr excited and as it gets closer the day before i get an excuse as to why it wwont be tomorrow but wil be sunday , all this stuff, well on sat still chatting and camming and he sits there right in front o f me telling me how much i mean to him ,then he has to go get ready and never shows no explanantion, just heartbroken on my end when earllier he said didnt want ot do that to me and i amhis gorgeous gal, i ant make sense why this happens is it nerves or just liars and users, very confused please help | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:32:04 PM | | You've been playing along for 6 months. How long you gonna keep the game going? | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:44:46 PM | | 3 times in 6 months.whether or not he has a wife or is stringing you along or doesn't know what he wants are a few reasons but if you keep takin him back you're askin for it in my eyes.3 chances is two too many | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:48:05 PM | | move on ... he's got issues .. no matter what they are .. he will devour you if you let him. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:14:44 PM | He only comes back because YOU let him......
Clearly the man is wishy washy and unstable emotionally........ and clearly...why would you desire to become involved with a man so flakey ?
Peace | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:21:14 PM | Whatever his agenda is ....
Do you like to get jerked around consistently by this man? ~tilts head~
His words don't match his actions, you do the math.
This happens because there are people in this world who are out for whatever they can get.
And they prey on the people who don't see them coming.
You have to learn sometimes when people are talking out of both sides of their mouths.
Sometimes you recognize it, sometimes you get fooled. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:08:17 PM | Let’s take a look at the facts shall we?
You seem to get along with him, you like him, you make plans and he cancels with no explanation. He “says” words you want to hear and you believe it then, get fooled in the same story again and again.
I’m not saying that he’s lying or trying to deceive you but, if what you said is actually what happened then, it is what it is. Based on that, how would you react to those facts?
Don’t forget, right now you only know the illusion of who you have made him out to be but, you still don’t know who he TRULY is… even after getting married some people do not know.
I would tell you, keep on seeing him and try to remember that you are still getting to know him for who he is and not the illusion that you made him out to be. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:11:16 PM | Perhaps I am naive in not assuming that all of us guys are jerks, but I still have to agree that good intentions or not the guy doesnt have his act together. At this point you are simply enabling his bad behaivior and it has become a boundries issue. You allow him to treat you this way, so he has learned he can treat you this way. The result is now when its time to face his fear, he knows he can just bailout without loosing you.
The golden rule isnt treat others how you want to be treated, its don't allow others to treat you worse than you treat them. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:54:45 PM | I don't understand how you think you have a real relationship.
6 months and you've never met face to face. Just wrote email and IM stories to each other and "cammed." Filling in all the little gaps with your own imagination.
So basically you use each other as a fantasy to escape to when reality gets to be too much.
Then when the fantasy threatens to become part of the reality he bails, and then comes back to keep the fantasy going. And you take him back because you like it.
i ant make sense why this happens is it nerves or just liars and users, very confused
I don't think you are confused. I think you are frustrated. You don't want to let go because you've committed to the fantasy, get something out of it, want to remain consistent, and you don't want to feel as though you've wasted 6 months of your life.
Kind of like playing the claw machine at a restaurant. You keep feeding quarters, because a quarter isn't that much...but keep failing. Only now you are beginning to realize all the quarters are adding up and you are no more near to winning the bunny doll even though you've fantasized about all the things you and the bunny are going to be to each other if you could just get it out of the machine.
IMO he is not a liar, you are both users, and the whole thing was doomed to fail after more than a month and no meet. Especially after the first no show and you still talk to him. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:45:57 PM | | Do you like being treated like that? If no - tell him what exactly is not working out. It seems like his other engagements come before you, whatever they may be. And he probably feels like giving you an explanation to spare your feelings would take away a piece of his freedom... It even feels like he has another woman, which may or may t be the case, but the point is - he is not making himself available to you. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:19:41 AM | Hey batter batter batter....Hey batter batter batter...Hey batter batter batter...
*umpire* Strike 3. 3 Strikes and your out!
Seriously though...come on Miracles...you are a grown woman....you can do MUCH better than this baffoon! I know it hurts when you want something (relationship) so bad that you can taste it...but to what extent? Your sanity?
A great definition is~Insanity...doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. He has done this to you 3 times. My thoughts are to dump him...get into therapy and figure out why you want to waste your sweet precious time on loosers like this guy. Get to know yourself and love yourself and you won't attract ding a lings like this looser.
Hang in there girl! | |
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WackMC
| | Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 14 | |
| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:49:36 AM | I am shocked, shocked that you gamble with your love life in this manner!!
Play it, Sam. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:52:37 AM | Hey allthanks have read everything and yes being stubborn and stupid i guess and really i know this myself, i would say the same thing to someone else to ,so thanks and all taken on board needed the good slap today to get back to reality , have fun everyone.
thanks | |
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Mahhn
| | Joined: 5/21/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:58:22 AM | 6 months and never met, maybe he's using another persons picture or isn't even a guy.
Ditch who ever it is. And take note of the writing style in case it pretends to be another person later. | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 2:47:32 AM | | He's married or just messing with you or afraid you might get along too well and is embarrassed by the size of his manhood… either way no good will come from this flakiness | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:14:34 AM | | What is there to understand? You are allowing this behavior. He's actions have told you exactly how he feels about you (which by the way are loud and clear). The real question here would be "How much torture are you willing to put up with?" | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:12:10 AM | Hmmm, I've been in this situation and for 8 months, only I was the 'flaker'.....and no, it wasnt because I was married or had some other guy on the scene, or didnt really like him enough or that I had issues, lol...quite simply I got cold feet and was real nervous of meeting when the time would arrive.
Luckily the guy in my situation understood and YES!!!...I overcame my nerves and did eventually meet. Think I bailed out twice before we did meet, but I would explain to him as to why...I didnt just not show up and leave him stranded.
But even though I flaked, I dont think I would have the patience with a 'flaker'....lol | |
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| i dont understand at all
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:15:45 AM | " The real question here would be "How much torture are you willing to put up with?""
I agree with this.
Now when you imagine what the man in your life should be like- did you imagine he'd be someone like that? Is this what you are looking for? | |
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