| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:54:43 AM | I was walking out of a store the other day and a little girl about 4 years old was ahead of me with her mother - the little girl turned to her mother and asked, "Mommy how do you stop crying?" The mother really didn't have a spontanious answer to give her daughter. I would have responded by telling her the reason we cry is because we are sad - when we become happy again we no longer cry.
How would you have answered this little girls very important question? | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:40:57 AM | I,d say darling we stop crying when we feel a litttel better about some thing, it some thing that just happens to us but its important that if you feel you need to cry you should.
The reason I would tell her that is we dont want her thinking she cant stop so then wont allow her self to.Wonder what others think? | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:48:32 AM | | Distract yourself or entertain your self with some other thoughts different than what ever you are crying about. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:18:22 AM |
How would you have answered this little girls very important question? The same way as you stop eating. You just stop being hungry, and you don't continue to eat. You stop being sad, and your tears stop by themselves.
Or, you stop yourself eating, even though you are still hungry. You stop yourself crying, even though you are still sad. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:26:08 AM | It's actually quite simple, but it involves becoming a psychopath, and I mean a true psychopath by definition. When's the last time you saw a psychopath cry? It doesn't happen because they feel nothing under normal circumstances.
Since being a psychopath is undesirable for most of us, we are forced to live with our emotions. You stop crying, when you are not able to cry anymore. Or...when the wedding is over ;) | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:27:53 AM | Personally, I stop thinking about my love life and distract myself with something else.
But that's just me, other people with have different techniques.
Q.E.D. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:56:06 AM | When my daughter was 4/5/6 there was a lot of change going on in her life.
She would cry, it might be triggered by an internal thought or by a film (often Disney- what did Disney have against Mothers?), or by a situation she had witness...
I did not know what to do, so I would sit and let her climb on my lap, and rock her until the tears stopped. I did not distract her, I would say it is ok to cry until the tears are gone. I let her know with my words and my attention that she was safe and loved.
They were her feelings and those feelings were overwhelming her.
Sometimes that is all she needed was the permission to cry and the knowledge that she was loved. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 11:49:46 AM | | I guess I'd want to know what brought on the question in the first place. That said, I would have assured her there's nothing wrong with crying. It's how we get those feelings out. When we're ready, we stop. What's important is to always remember to think of things that make us happy, too. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:28:41 PM | Since the little girl was 4, I would have put my arm around her and said, "That is a good question. Well, some people stop crying after they get a hug, pretty girl..."  | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 1:49:15 PM | | Considering that she is 4 and coming out of a store, I'd say there was something she wanted that she didn't get.... and her Mother told her to stop crying about it.... so not sure the Mother owed her an explanation at that point if that's the case.. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 2:24:32 PM | I can recall many times when my once young children saw a child in a tantrum and a parent saying "stop crying!" Since the girl was calm, this seems the scenario that she may have witnessed. at four, critical thinking begins, so this is the time for a question like that.
Kids need comfort resources. A blanket, a pacifier, a doll, mommy, daddy. The simple answer to how, is that you seek comfort. Regardless of how old you are, you stop crying, or the extreme state of sadness finding something that comforts you. For some this is a pill,a ciggarette, food, alcohol, nsa sex, for others it is exercise, dance, love making, a nap, cozy pj's, a fire, a long bath. For still others it is excess work, vacations, adrenaline sports and fast cars. Some may seek violence on others, rape, vandalism, theft and just being a general jerk as their comfort.
The bottom line is that we WILL seek SOMETHING to give us comfort. What a child under four sees their parents/family and those on TV using is what will influence that child's comfort choices in the future.
What ever you do for comfort now, open your eyes, a child is watching. Whatever your friends and family and TV people do for comfort, open your eyes to it, your child is watching.
I did not smoke, but many of my friends did. When my boys became teens and curious, who gave them their first ciggarettes? My friends. I rarely drank, but had a couple of heavy drinking friends. Who gave my sons their first drinks? My friends. I'm very very picky now. Perhaps in time for my daughter.
How does she stop crying? She writes, she reads, she draws and paints, she calls a friend and she talks to her mom. Just like I do.
At least my sons call me, but while smoking and drinking their tears away. I'm sad for them. My error. Their lives. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:19:57 PM | I would say
when the last tear that needs to come out has fallen, then it stops by itself.
A beautiful saying I read once said 'tears are words the heart cannot express'
I would have added that tears can be of joy, pain, sorrow, anger, laughter, immense beauty or love - tears are not always from bad feelings, they are a natural overflowing of emotions.
with my daughter we understand and will say 'don't mind me, I'm just leaking'.
Grief expert Dr Elisabeth Kubler Ross said the one tear you hold inside is the one that will trip you up next time. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:15:44 PM | | Breath deeply in and out continuously .. it stops the tears.. at least it works for me. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:34:17 AM | Reassurance - permission to cry - acknowledging feelings - comfort/cuddling - these are all very wonderful ways to support and help a child understand and deal with crying and the emotions behind crying.
How do you as an adult handle situations where you are crying? Especially when some of us may not have others to do all those things for us. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:16:39 AM | I do not know if a 4 year old can understand this. YOU CHANGE THE PATTERN IN THE BRAIN you can explain to her.
IT IS CALLED NAC...By Anthony Robbins.
Neuro Associative Conditioning.
Interrupt the OLD PATTERN CRYING. Tell your daughter at that moment when she is crying...Would you like to play ball in the park? AT THAT VERY MOMENT, your daughter will STOP CRYING due to her brain is in a NAC STAGE, and she will have a different outcome. You explain to a 4 year old just THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE AT THAT VERY MOMENT TUULA and you will stop crying.
(I forgot to mention, if I had a daughter her name would be Tuula and I would tell her it is okay to cry, I would explain to her it is okay to feel what is bothering you and to let it out if you need to and just CRY... (I love crying, it heals me)
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:54:19 AM | Wow you people make things complex.
You don't even know what you're crying about.
Ask the girl what are you crying about?
If you haven't caught on yet, I'll explain further, haven't you ever been so happy you cried? | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:39:44 PM | Pinkribbonsinthe sky - I do that with the kids I work with to distract them from worrying about when Mommy is coming to pick them up - or when they are really crying way too long over something little! It really works!
ilikepets - the little girl was not crying - she was simply asking the question out of curiosity - the Mom and she were shopping! .... and yes I have cried when I was happy - it's actually a wonderful feeling! | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:27:58 PM | I don't cry very much actually. When I do cry I find it's a relief ... so I allow the tears to fall. I used to be so sensitive and still am with movies etc... I was taught to allow myself 10 mins to cry and be sad then find a solution to the tears or if there is none then let them flow and distract yourself onto something else...
If a child is genuinely sad and crying then distraction is the way to go or just holding them. But if they are throwing a tantrum then I'm not rewarding that... I think a general question to crying is a loaded question. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:41:38 PM | Crying is a neuro-chemical response to a perception of a thought based on an associative memory pattern created in the brain from previous experiences. OUCH!
Crying is the emotional result of a programmed neuro-pattern in the brain.
The simple answer as pinkribbon stated
YOU CHANGE THE PATTERN IN THE BRAIN
We do this throughout our lives. As we evolve we change the way we feel about experiences and with some things we no longer feel emotionally as strong as we once did, Therefore we don't cry over them. We have changed the patterns in our brains.
We can be conditioned to not show our emotions and in fact, most men are. As little boys we have been conditioned not to cry. That is a different can of worms, but basically that is the gist of it. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:00:14 PM | To a four-year-old I'd say that we cry because something hurts. Our knees hurt after we scrape them. Our heart aches when we are called names. That hurts too. The knee gets better, and the hurt goes away. The name-calling stops, and we forget it happened. We need not cry any more. -- (if it's a five-year-old, she has longer attention, and I'd add,) You see, crying helps us to bear the pain. When the pain stops, the crying stops, because we need it no longer.
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To and adult I'd say the same thing, except I'd add that it has a largely biochemical explanation, which involves toxins and useless triggering chemicals and compounds to be eliminated from our system, which feels good and eases the pain. The toxic and triggering compounds are removed in the tear.
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Same thing, basically. No diff. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:40:32 PM | If you find the answer, send me an email. I can't get over the tragic loss of many I have loved. The tears stop, when my mind is diverted; but return anytime I consider the loss of others.
Yes, I have happy tears when I realize that parting is sweet sorrow, and that afterwards there is an everlasting existence; but the loss of the precious temporal magic of life is dear, and the cost is great to resume in the hereafter. Is it magic to turn sorrow into joy? Yes, bring in a magician. | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:35:58 AM | First I'd quote this -
A League of Their Own:
Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
And then tell her to join a baseball team, then she won't have to worry about.
Later,
Bob | |
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| How do you stop crying?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:28:46 AM | The link between the mind and the emotions is the breath. When we cry we hold our breath. It is physically impossible to have a calm regular breath and cry. In through the nose out through the mouth... eventually when calmer out through the nose.
Same with anger and passion, the breath, this time the breath would be shallow and rapid, making it longer and deeper would halt the emotion. | |
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