| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:04:38 AM | | I just ended another relationship. Basically what happened is that found myself involved with a girl who had a drinking problem, and who felt it was ok to hang out with her ex (whom she broke up with 5 months ago) instead of me. This has been a very common occurrance in one form or another since I got divorced 12 years ago. I'm thankful that I jumped out of it very quickly, and the important realization of "I'm the common denominator" in these situations. The thing that bothers me the most though is that these are the woman I feel the most chemistry for. So my question is, how do I reprogram my basic internal wiring to stop this bologna | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:43:15 AM | | You need to stop the chivalry. Read "The Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr.Laura Schlessinger. | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:27:07 AM | OP I think the first step in breaking the cycle is recognizing that it exists. 
I am in the process of breaking a cycle as well; being attracted to emotionally unavailable men. I realize that lots of this has to do with ego as well. My ego gets boosted every time an emotionally unavailable man desires me. How mixed up is that? Honestly, if I did drink I would perhaps live inside of a bottle right now. Cheers anyway  | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 5:17:07 PM | Smile,
Sounds like your self esteem could use a boost. Low self esteem = low expectations. Take a break from the dating scene and work on yourself for a bit.
Search the forums...I'm sure you will find lots of recommendations for good books and good living practices to address this.
Paul ;) | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:30:30 PM | | thanks Paul, sounds like pretty good advice | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:32:47 PM | | That IS a good suggestion for a book. Another good author is Debbie Ford. She discusses "spiritual law – that the universe always guides us back to embracing the totality of ourselves. We attract whomever and whatever we need to mirror back the aspects of ourselves that we’ve forgotten." | |
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| Breaking patterns
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:43:26 AM | I also have a pattern too. I think you just need to be alone, go to therapy.
Biggest thing is go TRAVEL alone somewhere, write a journal. And find yourself first. | |
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