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Posted: 6/14/2009 8:20:50 AM | | Today is my birthday.Alot of things happened to me leading up to my birthday.I had surgery a minor female thing then the break up of my boyfriend of two years and a half.He was abusive selfish and to busy in his life for us.He had called me the night and morning of surgery but he never came to see me he was busy.He had his daughter over that he did not see in some time.He told me she means more to him then I do to him.I have been looking again and I hope it is for the last time.I have been getting alot of e mails from this other site but this site I am getting e mails but not like the other site which is alot everyday.I am not finding what I want in a man so far.I am trying other things like going to church my doctor said that he met his wife in church.My doctor said to look for someone in church.I am thinking of my ex boy friend it hurts.He was getting better then he got worse when he son got his own home.I wanted to go to a movie it was memorial weekend and he was playing tennis for two days sat and sun but he said we will go on monday but a family member said he would not take me so I said to him you are not going to take me and he then said that I am pulling him one way his son is pulling him another way .He works tennis has a sick adult child living with him cleaning his house errands to do mow lawn work on his house inside and out side .Then his son got a house that he is fixing up and is calling my ex to help him fix it or he is asking his father for money.We use to go out to eat it stopped.All I did was sit on his couch watch tv with his huge dog that is over a hundred pounds or when his sick son was home he kept me company while his father was busy with his life.He was in his basement for hours doing things with his shop he has down there.It had to end. He has had a number of women that it did not work out and he was married two times.The second wife walked out on him.I am looking again and I leave it in gods hands that I find what I am looking for.I will miss the dog I love that dog he was great company .That dog was loveable.That was a great dog.I was coming from being alone a long time after my divorce and was new to the dating world which had changed alot since I last dated before my husband so I was naive when I meet my boyfriend.I now know to listen to my gut and when I see the red flags I should run.Looking back there was red flags with my ex.I will now take my time in getting to know someone and not rush into anything.I had rushed with my ex boyfriend. | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 9:15:11 AM | | Happy Birthday... It is sad that your so sad.. but you need to concentrate on the good things in your life ...I find when we look at everything that went wrong we put ourselves in a state that is sometimes hard to come out of ..maybe you need to take a break from these dating sites...a break from men.. and find things to do that you enjoy.. learn to love you. and spending time with you..realize that people have other things to do.. other people in there lives. and if they don't have or make the time for you.. then you need to walk away for your own insanity....people can't make us happy.. it has to come from within.. and once we are happy. then it makes a difference on what we are willing to except ..how we feel about ourselves sometimes makes a difference about the type of people we attract...Church may be the place to find someone nice... but it is definitely not a good thing to assume that every man who goes to church is a good man .....if you end up in a relationship where someone does not want to spend the time or make the time to spend time.. definitely a red flag to get out ... | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 2:37:53 PM | | sweet lips thank you.I was alone a long time after my husband.I went back to dating and met this guy.I wil not let my ex boyfriend stop me from dating.I did regret the time I lost being alone after my ex husband.I will not sit around and lick my wounds.I am happy I have a full life.I have family and friends that care and love me.I am not happy that I ended up with two bad man one my ex husband and two my ex boyfriend.And I do love me enough to end it with my boyfriend because I know I deserve better.I know that there can be bad man in church but I know someone that goes to my church my family doctor and he knows the people in this church.My doctor met his wife in church he is a very good man .I spend alot of time alone doing the things I love to do.I cooked for my family the other day that alone brings me so much joy.But I thank my ex husband and ex boyfriend because I learned alot .I do not deserve to be miss treated and not respected.My ex husband never was abusive to me.We had may be one or two fights but he did something very bad so I had to end it.But with my boyfriend there where fights all the time and he was abusive.I know that I will now listen to my gut and to look out for red flags I did not do that with my boyfriend or husband and there where red flags now that I look back and reflect .I will not rush into anything and I will take my time in getting to know someone I rushed with my husband and boyfriend and did not take the time to know them.I am trying to be strong and get past this I will one step at a time with gods help.It is hard and it hurts.This will be a new year of good things to come for me.I am a good person a nice sweet women and I will be ok. | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 3:50:13 PM | First, Let me sing Happy Birthday to you...ready? OK, here goes.... Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to You...Happy Birthday Dear Rose, Happy Birthday to you.
OK ,all get in line to do the birthday spanks...How many Rose? lol
OK my attempt to be funny and maybe put a smile on your face. I know the pain you feel Rose. I was there myself. Some very similar things. I had to always be there for her, But she never gave my needs much thought at all. But under the ether of love, I did a great job of fooling myself into believing it will get better. In four years, she dumped me to the curb on the average of every 6-8 weeks.
If there was not real issue, she'd be sure to make me angry or hurt to cause me to question her and her feelings. That would make me lash out in hurtful words and her excuse to end it again. A man can only take so much. Like your relationship, it was very one way. This last time, she used some made up lame excuse to yell into the phone that she has had it. She will never admit that most all breakups were her fault and now looking back, The first one should have been the last one. Self absorbed selfish people with deeply seated issues that don't have anything to do with you, can't even face their own faults. Always have to blame someone else.
Rose, I knew it was coming. In fact when I think about it, I knew it was coming 3 years ago! Knew it was over a year ago, but did not want to admit it and kept trying. But it ended on February 28th for good.
I let my love for her blind me and accept the mental torture and cruelty she dealt out. Always thought my love for her would somehow help her and win her over, then we'd live happy ever after. Yeah right! Now I just feel very sorry and sad for her.
Yes, I still care about her...worry about her and will ever wonder about her. Now that I am no longer in love with her, I see her very differently. I thought I knew her. Only to discover I knew a lot "about" her, but never really knew her and what makes her tick.
But I also still care about my ex-wife too. Big difference in that and being "in love"
Now I am hopeful to find someone capable of giving and not just taking as she did. And I may have already found her. Only time will tell. So I am happy and hopeful. You will be soon enough too.
Nassau County huh? I grew up there until age 12 when the family moved to Florida. I lived in the Five Towns...Inwood, Hewlett, Woodmere, Cedarhurst. I was born in Far Rockaway. Only been back once about 15 years ago.
Sorry, I don't agree with your doctor about finding someone in church. In fact your profile says "non-religious" So I wonder what you think a church will do that other places won't ...including here on POF.
Again...Happy Birthday. I wish you well.
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Posted: 6/14/2009 5:29:41 PM | gentlemaNJM4ONE Thank you.You made me laugh with the birthday spanks.You put a smile on my face.Thank you for singing to me.How many spanks I am not telling It just a hard day.I thought I would a least get a happy birthday and I am sorry from him closure.It is another failure for him.I do not have a history like him.I can last in relationships.The problem is I pick men that do not know how to be with a women or last in a relationships.I am just to good hearted and to forgiving and to flexable.I am a fixer and willing to work and make things work.I do not give up easy.But the problem is they are stubborn and say it is not me it is you.They are not willing to make a effort to change things and make it work.I was always willing.I would of done more for my boyfriend but I did not because he was not willing to make things better. | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 7:15:45 PM | | If you believe it.. you can achieve it.. good for you.. for recognizing that your a good person.. who deserves better...and your right..everything we go through in life is a learning tool. which helps us to be stronger and wiser the next time around .. god bless you.. and with the help of god may your life be filled with good and wonderful things... | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 7:21:23 PM | HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Things will get better. | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 8:19:14 PM | | Happy Birthday ... I think you should get a dog as a gift to yourself! | |
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Posted: 6/14/2009 10:22:29 PM | | Thank you everybody and I do have animals. sweet lips you are a special lady a doll thank you for your kind words and caring and helping me you do not know me and your where there for me.I love the forums.I wish you the best sweetlips god bless you.oh Gentlemanjim thanks for the laughs and putting a smile on my face and thank you and sweet lips for the support... | |
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