| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:59:46 AM | I've been with my Fiance for about 5 years now.
Lately we haven't been having much sex, (and usually only when he wants to)
But hes been leaving me high and dry nearly everytime.
Is it wrong to ask that he takes care of my needs and finish me?
I have spoken with him about how this makes me feel... but to no avail...
Would it be wrong of me to retailiate by getting mine and then getting up and walking away with no worry about how it affects him?
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:17:11 AM | But hes been leaving me high and dry nearly everytime.
If he is this uncaring about you then you need to cut him off completely.
I would never keep having sex with someone who did this especially after I told
him about it.
Why keep doing it with someone who does't care about you to this extent?
In fact it wouldn't be wrong of you at this point to find someone else who DOES care about you and dump the selfish douche bag of a fiance. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:18:26 AM | Opened a new account on a dating site a month ago.
Listed as single and looking to date.
Seems like your concept of retaliation and "getting yours" is different then most.
Color me blue and call me Fido, but you and him seem to have some serious issues. Other then your obvious need for attention and lack of commitment. Your a cheat, and who in the world wants to marry a cheat?  | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:19:57 AM | First off, seems to me that ya profile suggest you want to do more than hangout, Ashley.
Is it wrong to ask that he takes care of my needs and finish me
Of course it isnt wrong, you need gratification also.
Would it be wrong of me to retaliate by getting mine and then getting up and walking away with no worry about how it affects him
That's just what I was about to suggest.
However, Im not sure if marriage is the way to go on this one. If he doesn't care now, how ya feel, think about a year from now, if you two make it that far. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:23:33 AM | | I tend to think.. TELL HIM NOT US!! I work with 2-3 year olds and the catch cry in my room is... use your words!! Don't play his game either... no cumming annnnnnnd going on your part- makes you as bad as him. I'd say if sex is this bad before marriage?? It isn't gonna get better hun! | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:39:34 AM | I didn't realize it defaulted to "single" It has been changed. It was originally at living together. But is now married.
He knows I am on this site, he has my user name and password, and does log in. Furthermore, I am using his computer.
We do communicate, and I decided to post a question hoping to get answers to help me solve/ adjust my current problem. ( We have discussed how this makes me feel, and he looks at me nods and walks away, and I'm left with nothing. )
There are certain things that even communication doesn't help. I came here to find out how to make a point, and if I was right in doing so.
I don't understand how my asking for millions of peoples help, is considered trolling. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:48:33 AM | | I don't think you are trolling myself but I don't think any advice will stop your man from being a jack***! If you've told him then it's all on him and from what you've wrote he doesn't care! Like I said I'm very slow so bare with me for asking again! Why are you with him again? Low self esteem, self hatred, etc. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:49:51 AM | Then allow me to answer to him directly...
DUDE take her out first. Spend the beginning time warming her senses up with your touch. Use your breath, your lips etc.. and if you have toys, a vibrator is a plus...get her off before you ever START!! I cannot fathom why a man would not WANT to hear that music of pure feminine release...I digress. SHE IS FRUSTRATED man that means you are not on your J-O-B rectify it.
~Skin~ | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:51:36 AM | I've been with him for so long, I'd be nervous to be done with him..
In the bedroom is the only place that he doesn't satisfy me... and I realize thats a lot of a relationship... | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:55:17 AM | "I've been with him for so long, I'd be nervous to be done with him..
In the bedroom is the only place that he doesn't satisfy me... and I realize thats a lot of a relationship..."
It just seems that especially from the first version of this post you made that he has an attitude about it like he doesn't owe you anything. I can't see how that attitude doesn't blend into other areas. If he was just a bad lover that was trying to improve it would be different but not if he's just a p**** about it! Peace! | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:04:49 AM | | First try counseling, if that fails then give him an ultimatum, either get me off or get cut off. Last option, exit stage left. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life giving him orgasms but not getting your own? I had an ex girlfriend that would make me stop after she had her orgasm. Now you see why she's an "ex". NEXT | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:19:47 AM | You ask....is it wrong for you to want your needs satisfied - I'm sure you already know this answer and are making a statement. Then you follow on from this statement by asking - should you do the same thing in return? If the guy is not hearing you then aye he may recognise your returned selfish actions, then again he may not link it to how you are feeling and it could create another problem.
You set your boundaries and how you should be treated! If you are not getting anything from the sex lately and are left feeling high n dry and I'm presuming hurt that he is not thinking of your needs. My answer would be dont have sex, no action will be louder than retaliation and maybe then he will open his ears rather than his pants! Although i wonder what has made him want sex so often and also not giving a damn as to whether your satisfied or not?? This could be something which has absolutely nothing to do with sex.....you's need to communicate and find out what is going on, you know him better than any of us lot in here on how best to talk with him. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:36:09 AM | I forgot one the simplest and no cost options, girl on top. When a woman is on top she gets to control speed, depth and angle of penetration. Guy also enjoy this position because he can lay back and concentrate on maintaining his erection and watching you enjoy yourself. Ride em' Cowgirl  | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:22:00 AM | | Do you just lie back and let him do all the work? Why don't you take the initiative and control the pace? Most guys do like the woman to be aggressive every so often.... | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:33:44 AM | Firstly
How many places do you think you need to post this sweetie? POF has rules about this and they'll cut you off quicker than shizz if you post the same thing in several areas ok?
Secondly. WE don't have to do a single thing. If he does, as you say, have access to all of this, he'll see what you're planning (I hope the lightbulb comes on) and either talk to you or leave you.
I honestly don't know how smart it was to join or even post here. There are places to meet women to hang out with--meetup.com is a great site to meet others with like interests. I encourage you to seek it out as well as talk to your friends about this.
I noticed in your profile you say shot gun wedding? Are you pregnant on top of all of this? Sigh...regardless.
To the OP's fiance:
I don't know who taught you about sex, but if a woman is asking you to be more intimate with her so that she too, can experience some kind of release, you will only look like a very selfish man for not even considering her request. If she isn't participating like you think she should and you feel you can tell/show her what would make you BOTH happy. Otherwise you're going to go off to war/duty/whatever and she will find someone who can and will. Which is the preference???
To the OP:
I say this with as much kindness as I can muster: get the H off a dating site. You're extremely vulnerable and are setting yourself up for disaster. Why? Because you have put your bad sex life out here on display--it's tantamount to BEGGING someone other than your fiance to come and help you with your problem. That's how *some* men think. If you don't believe me, don't be surprised when it happens. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:34:11 AM | It sounds like you're scared to be alone. That is the crux of the matter right there. You are not comfortable in this relationship yet you convince yourself that you are. It is time to make a change. It is time to be on your own for awhile. If you accept that this man treats you like your needs are nothing, then you are breaking promises to yourself. If you break promises to yourself then how in the heck will you be able to promise fidelity or whatnot. Think about it. Peace.  | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:46:48 AM | Hmmm..."I've been with him for so long, I'd be nervous to be done with him..
In the bedroom is the only place that he doesn't satisfy me... and I realize thats a lot of a relationship... "
There is your post.
I realize that at your age and maturity level, that sex rates high on your list for maintaining a relationship. I was that age myself once, and know where you are coming from. But, many a relationship has gone on for years and years with other things replacing "sex" as one of the main factors.
Communications is the key. Perhaps if HE doesn't want to satisfy you, the sex life needs a bit of change-up. Not the "same old, same old".
Professional coucelling? Maybe.
In these trying economic times, stress levels peak easily. It not that easy to keep your job, forget make a decent living off it. This can affect sex lives easily. Perhaps he is using sex as a form of stress relief...understandable...but you need it too.
Maybe a small "game" could be in order...every time he "uses" you for "stress relief" he can PAY for it. I've heard of some couples using this technique to add to their savings, and it makes the qwuality of their lives improve. At least he's not going "paying for it" elsewheres, and getting what he wants.
Tough to decide exactly what to do. Often guys don't open up...they can't express themselves well, and it frustrates them. This leads to arguements. But, communications is the MOST important thing in a relationship. Not namecalling or shouting. But, getting the facts out there, no matter how harsh they may seem, is important.
Good luck! | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:59:10 AM | Dear Ashleyg, do you mean that you two are actually now married, or you simply chose married on profile to indicate you are attached?
Having said this
I didn't realize it defaulted to "single" It has been changed. It was originally at living together. But is now married.
He knows I am on this site, he has my user name and password, and does log in. Furthermore, I am using his computer.
We do communicate, and I decided to post a question hoping to get answers to help me solve/ adjust my current problem. ( We have discussed how this makes me feel, and he looks at me nods and walks away, and I'm left with nothing. )
There are certain things that even communication doesn't help. I came here to find out how to make a point, and if I was right in doing so. I don't understand why you are with a man who is so upset/resentful in the relationship, that he isn't the smallest bit interested in your sexual fullfillment.
You two need counseling, and a serious reconsideration of being engaged. Other than that, I would find alternative ways of attaining mine, until he decides to sit down and discuss the problem. Why are you staying in this relationship anyway? M | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:45:31 AM | I've been with my Fiance for about 5 years now.
Lately we haven't been having much sex, (and usually only when he wants to)
But hes been leaving me high and dry nearly everytime.
Is it wrong to ask that he takes care of my needs and finish me?
I have spoken with him about how this makes me feel... but to no avail...
Would it be wrong of me to retaliate by getting mine and then getting up and walking away with no worry about how it affects him?
1. He is still your fiancée WHY?
2. You're engaged and you're on a dating site? *tilt* :/
3. And your profile says you're MARRIED? Now this is absolutely FUNNY!
You're a polygraph examiner's wet dream!
Oh but statements such as these never cease to amuse and never disappoint! | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:02:51 AM | Engaged for 5 years? FIVE? OK, this would only be acceptable if you are saving for some big wedding. If not, it sounds like someone uses the term 'fiance' to keep someone around.
Your sexual happiness is joint venture. It's partly his responsibility to get your rocks off and also yours.
Retaliation is childish. Take a good look at what this person is and what they stand for. Are you really settling so you can have someone, be engaged and other sorts? Something tells me there's more to this story than you are stating. | |
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