| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:16:09 PM | Put on your armor and grab your favorite weapon, cuz here it comes!
Let's face facts, part of hooking up is sex, and part of sex is reproduction. If we get a lifemate, it stands to reason this topic is going to be pretty important.
I was raised to be pro-life. My mother was a nurse and very interested in reproduction. She would often show me books on developing fetus' and talk about what a wonderful gift having children is. So she sort of instilled this belief in life at conception and that if the girl doesn't want to raise teh child she should have it adopted.
Now I dissagree with my mother about a lot of things as an adult. I sort of split the difference with her on this particular issue. I do respect all life and believe life starts at conception....because it does. All that stuff about how the fetus couldn't live outside the womb is silly. Your brain couldn't exist outside your skull, does that mean it isn't alive? Does that mean it has no value? It's nonsense.
However, I believe that a woman has to make the choice for what she will do with her body. In my ideal world the father would get a say as well, but that's not going to happen. Men just have to accept the way it works right now and not have sex with women that don't believe in pro-life if they feel that strongly about it.
My perspective is based more on philosphy. Taoism is probably closest to what I'm referring to. It says that there is life in all things and value in all things and we should work in harmony with nature. Think of The Living Force in the Star Wars movies if it's not clear to you because Lucas based the Jedi Order on Taoism.
But I recognize that not everyone is going to subscribe to that type of thinking and I have no right to make life decisions for someone else. Those who have been convinced, or convince themselves that abortion is murder are likely not going to be happy with that conclusion for themselves.
Can you date a pro-life advocate if you are pro-choice, and vice versa? Is there a way to find a happy medium with them? Or are you just better off sticking with partners who believe as you do?
~Justin | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:20:37 PM |
Put on your armor and grab your favorite weapon, cuz here it comes!
^^^hysterical! note: probably the only true levity this thread is likely to engender...you really are sh^t disturber!
This is the kind of thing where relationship success will likely hinge on tolerance, understanding and being open to acknowledging a perspective that you don't share.
I tend to believe that people should sort of feel each other out on some of the extremely sensitive and polarized subject areas before becoming involved with each other.
Most people with strong views on subjects like these, don't typically want to be in a relationship with people who believe as staunchly in the polar opposite, much less share a bed with them.
jmo. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:22:54 PM |
Can you date a pro-life advocate if you are pro-choice, and vice versa? Is there a way to find a happy medium with them? Or are you just better off sticking with partners who believe as you do?
People can, and do, respect each other's right to an opinion, while disagreeing with the other's pov. It all depends on how passionate one is about his/her beliefs. I don't think someone who spends every weekend protesting at abortion clinics and a woman who belongs to NOW and thinks the best conclusion to every pregnancy is abortion, could get past the issue. Most people, though, can have a reasonable discussion without disrespecting all who disagree. Most people know what topics to avoid.
Mary Mattalin and James Carville have been happily married for a number of years, and have at least 2 children, yet she's a Republican activist, who served in the Bush1 administration, and he's a democrat advisor, who worked for Bill Clinton. I know she's pro life, and he tends to spout the "party line" of the democrats, which is pro choice. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:26:25 PM | | I find it partly amusing yet truly sad that if a man said something like he wouldn't date a girl that had an abortion (if it wasn't because of medical issues or sexual assault) that a lot of women would think he's a jerk for thinking that way, yet if a woman didn't want to date a guy who works at mcdonalds or some menial job, that's ok... | |
|
| I can date...
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:28:00 PM | Can you date a pro-life advocate if you are pro-choice, and vice versa? Is there a way to find a happy medium with them? Or are you just better off sticking with partners who believe as you do?
...anyone who I think is intelligent, interesting, attractive and respectful, so long as they feel the same about me and we are sexually compatible.
However, my experience is that this is not the case for the VAST majority of people.
And it is also my experience that I face less tolerance from the "left / liberals" than I do from the "right / conservatives, even though I think myself something of a liberal.
I personally can practice tolerance, and don't care an awful lots about a persons religion or politics. But most people seem to think that these thing define who we are...
You want to get some real perspective on the absurdity of this? Try living in another country. In the U.S., I'm a liberal. In Canada, I'm a conservative. Mind you, my position on various issues hasn't changed...but damn if people don't find away to demonize me on both sides of the border, while failing to see the irony and absurdness of it all.
Labels and judgments....labels and judgments... | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:29:57 PM | I'm all for respecting another's opinion, but I could never have sex with a woman who I thought capable of aborting my kid. I don't try and change other people's beliefs and I'm not out to get into arguments over it.
People are going to do and believe what they want. I can't change that.
However, I can not have sex with someone that could potentially abort my kid. So, before I have sex, I make sure I know where she stands on the issue. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:33:07 PM | Now hang on a minute here... when you say scary music, do you mean scary as in John William's plodding "doo DOO.... doo DOO... doo DOO" score for Jaws or scary as in Bernard Hermann's frantic "ree! ree! ree!" in Psycho?
Because if we don't agree on what's really scary music-wise, we're probably gonna have problems agreeing on the other stuff. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:42:01 PM | Ummm...not sure how the "pro-life" vs. "pro-choice" would be a factor in most dating situations.
Since most dates aren't intimate and since after you can get a grasp of somebody's politics BEFORE you go out w/ them if you talk on the phone....there's no need,IMHO,for this even to be a factor.
A woman tells me she's "pro-life" and there are usually so many other things that we'd disagree about that dating wouldn't be an issue. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:48:44 PM | Abortion should be a PRIVATE and INDIVIDUAL Choice.
I am not pro-life or pro-choice. I am pro-privacy and the two individuals who created the child should make the decision.
It is not the state's business or the church's business or anyone else's business.
I do believe, the woman should consult the man who is the father.
And in cases of rape and incest to should be left soley to the discretion of the woman.
That's all. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:52:38 PM | | I would consider dating a non-militant pro-life believer - IF I'd had a vasectomy. I wouldn't want to leave anything to chance, since men have no rights in reproductive choices, and with a pro-life believer, no influence, either. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:55:45 PM | | I could never date a man who doesn't respect me as a person who has the right to control her own body, and instead thinks that the government should be allowed to make personal medical decisions for me, against my will. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:04:07 PM | i'd be interested in why she believes what she believes. if a god book is her textbook for living life, sayonara anyway. if she's a bit more comtemplative, i could see accepting an anti-abortion stance (screw 'pro-life' and 'pro-choice,' totally weighted weasel words).
as for me, much of the debate hinges on the idea of morality vs. legality. i oppose abortion in principle but support it in practice because criminalization doesn't reduce suffering. it's the flip side of capital punishment, which i support in principle but oppose in practice. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 1:27:35 PM | Well, personally, in my life, the issue is a non-issue. I can't have anymore kids so the issue of a possible pregnancy is...well....a non-issue.
However. Overall, I have respect for another's beliefs whether or not they are different from my own. I've dated people who were right winged (I'm left winged), I've dated people who were somewhat religious (I'm agnostic) and I've dated people who were pro-life (I'm pro-choice). It never bothered me. It was just things we agreed to disagree on and not discuss. I accepted them for who they were and vice versa and it never created an issue. The only time I see it as an issue is if one doesn't respect the others' beliefs and tries to impose their beliefs as being the only right ones. THEN it's an issue and a big one at that! | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:56:08 PM | | As long as you do as you say, in allowing a woman to make her own choice what she does with her reproductive system then there is no issue. These are decisions that should only be made between a doctor and a patient. In the case of whether to abort or not abort, it is therefore a woman who is the patient. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 2:59:41 PM | I am assuming one solution for a pro-choice woman romantically entagled witha pro-life man is to have an abortion and never tell him she was pregnant.
And if she's pro-life and he's pro-choice he theoretically shouldn't have a problem with her decision either way. That's assuming he's pro-CHOICE and not pro-"I ain't payin' for no dang baby".
~Justin | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:05:42 PM | I feel a major part of the general population should be sterilized so they can't reproduce. Is that pro life or pro choice? 
VVV Nah, I'd just appreciate if all the eggs and sperm Darwin experiments having children, would just stop. Octomom, anyone? Why bring innocent children into it? They didn't get a say in having idiots for parents.
| |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:08:01 PM |
I feel a major part of the general population should be sterilized so they can't reproduce. Is that pro life or pro choice?
That's being a fatalist, but you're sexy so you get a pass.
~Justin | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:13:13 PM | Thus far in my life experience I have yet to meet another person with the same views as I have. No friends, no family, no mates.
I have very strong and controversial views on the topic.
It hasn't prevented me from having a relationship with someone I really wanted to have one with even though not one of them shared my view. Respect and tolerance was something we had in common. If one can't respect the other, with or without differing views, then they aren't a good fit anyway.
I have had men discontinue getting to know me in the early stages of dating because of it. Which I tend to find amusing. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:49:24 PM | | The entire debate over abortion is fundamentally misguided. It should be over the definition of a person. Once a person is defined legally, the rest is clear. The medical community is best equipped to provide that definition. Unfortunately, both sides prefer to obfuscate everything to try and gain an advantage by arguing about ``abortion.'' | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:10:10 PM | | Justin - I'd say keep the pants up! Yes, dating and mating with a partner that has OPPOSITE beliefs of what you may have is possible. It really is politically correct to agree to disagree. One needs to be civil and respectful when the discussions get lively. Both sides of the fence have valid viewpoints. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:11:01 PM |
Can you date a pro-life advocate if you are pro-choice, and vice versa?
I don't date pro-life people!
Pro-life people don't know what they are talking about. Pro-life is anti-choice by definition. And without a choice, in certain circumstances, like pregnancy complications, dead of the mother is the outcome. Which means the pro-life people are pro-death. Pro-life implies that women can't be trusted with life, or life decisions, or even decisions and therefore pro-life is also anti-women.
Pro-choice advocates that a woman has the choice of abortion, not that she has an abortion. I can't possibly understand why anyone would be against pro-choice. The majority of women value life, and aren't killing their babies for fun. And if such a day ever came, no law is going to make them act right.
Is there a way to find a happy medium with them?
Is there a happy medium between intelligence and stupidity?
Or are you just better off sticking with partners who believe as you do?
Yes. | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:16:41 PM | On a moral stance, I could not "date" a woman who takes a pro-abortion position. Whether she ever had an abortion is immaterial to me. The ability to willingly take another's innocent life or to encourage it use is anathema to my world view. As a society, abortion has reduced us to little more than animals with no measure of another's worth. To approve, as a society, the permissible killing of an innocent person is beyond my ken.
In the case of rape, incest, I would counsel the woman to give the innocent life the right to live. And then I would put the miserable **stard who caused the harm away for life. period.
It is because I believe actions have consequences I have such a strict view about sex. Because sex has the ability to create life, and obviously life to me is important if not sacred, I don't go around having sex willy nilly. Because sex has this special ability to create life I take the stand of celibacy outside of marriage.
While I do have this near militant stand on abortion I don't protest abortuaries. I do respect another's ability to make a legal choice. But don't expect me to see a pro-abortion person with anything other than death colored glasses.
TK
{life, and society, is too fragile already} | |
|
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:21:30 PM |
Can you date a pro-life advocate if you are pro-choice, and vice versa? Is there a way to find a happy medium with them? Or are you just better off sticking with partners who believe as you do?
Sure you can... right up to the point that someone gets pregnant...
Now for me... I'm pro-choice in the sense that people should have the freedom of choice in society.
But if that is my baby in a girl's belly, I'd encourage, but not require, the girl to have the baby.... but then I like kids. I have two already. Having another one wouldn't be the end of the world in my view. | |
|
| |
| Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating *scary music swells*
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:35:23 PM |
I tend to believe that people should sort of feel each other out on some of the extremely sensitive and polarized subject areas before becoming involved with each other.
Most people with strong views on subjects like these, don't typically want to be in a relationship with people who believe as staunchly in the polar opposite, much less share a bed with them.
 What this poster said. If people in this "hook up/gotta have it now" culture would take the time to get to know each other on many levels and utilized condoms and responsible birth control options before jumping in to bed, there would be less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel a major part of the general population should be sterilized so they can't reproduce. Is that pro life or pro choice?
This is true. There are a lot of people out there who really shouldn't. | |
|
Home
login 
