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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:06:01 PM | I really didn't know how to title this thread, so I'm leaving it as vague as possible. What brings me to write this was my experiences on the weekend, my brother-in-law's girlfriend gave birth to a healthy baby girl last week so we drove three hours to see them, spoil them with a big present and stay in town that weekend to relax.
What raised my eyebrows was the moment when they were allowed to take her home, we followed them into their house and was confronted with vast amounts of 'stuff' lying about the house, no doubt some litter in there amongst it. It was everywhere, lounge, kitchen, hallway... and in most of the bedrooms! We couldn't even find a chair to even sit down, some shifting of stuff soon made that possible. I told them we would supply lunch for everyone, but due to waiting for so long we all ate it cold.... a later asked my wife how come they don't have a microwave in the kitchen, she said they do.... it's just covered under the piles of rubbish!
We found it interesting in how they didn't seem to care how the house looked, made no effort at all in presenting it nicely for us.... lord only knows what the health nurses will be thinking when they do their home visits, perhaps I'm too insular from such things as just described, I just simply find it all perplexing.
Do you guys try to maintain some amount of order in your home by cleaning it regularly, when the need arises.... or fret when people want to visit unexpectedly? | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:24:35 PM | I get the sense that this baby may be Premature. If that's the case, then the mom and dad most likely have been going through a lot just trying to have a healthy baby. Maybe their house is like that because they are going through the ringer and have no helP? If that's the case, then I'm sure they were embarrassed, and tried to keeP their feelings low key so as not to make them worse.
Could be other reasons. But the above is my inference.
Seeing how I am a mother who had extremely Premature twins, I know exactly how difficult raising sick babies is. Might I suggest you give them a gift of a housekeePer once week? How about helPing to give them a date night once a week.
If their situation is what I think it is, they NEED DESPERATELY to have a great deal of helP. I'm certain that anything you can do to helP will make so much difference in their lives... even Prevent divorce. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:30:46 PM | Just recovering from a few major crisis's (usually I'll have one major crisis plus a few minor ones) and moving into a new house with my twenty-something housemates so it's not quite how I would like it.
I'm usually quite good with communal areas and will clean regularly without being asked or praised, although private property is usually messy, and although it's just surface clutter and can be cleaned quite easily I only clean it as necessary. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:34:12 PM | hmm...judging books by their covers.
She has been pregnant, the last two months are interesting and hell. Constantly tired (just like first trimester) sitting up is impossible...rolling over to get out of bed the only option. Getting shoes on is a laugh some days and humiliating on others. Negotiating most things is a lesson in patience and compromise. And housework....seems to me that if there was some order before it was probably all her doing and if it is messy now prepare yourself because at first it will get even worse, especially if breastfeeding as well. How about telling partner to get off arse and pitch in with what he can do. Other than that, tis their place, deal with it.
Sorry but have huge bugbear about people who judge you by how shiny your front doorstep is. Nevvagin is right, a too tidy OCD house is just as scarey from a psychological point of view as a complete dump. I used to have a blackboard on the front veranda and one day I wrote....I will find the carpet when the last kid leaves home...I think it is blue.
Another favourite was ...I am currently working on a new order of chaos, when it finally settles down to mayhem, if I can find it I might answer the door.
I have over the years traded with gfriends housework duties...ie. we do both houses together. There have been times when others have done minebecause it was all just too much and I always when have time do one friends washing up because she SOOOO hates it with a depressive vengeance and no one else in her family helps her just judges. However admit I would rather paint, read, socialise than do my own and with five other slobs it seems pointless. The toilet, bathroom are generally clean (though the toilet was regularly like a pubs' when the three boys were younger, man it could stink in just one day especially if other little boys came over), the kitchen is differently chaotic but so far no food poisoning and healthy food,.. the laundry..ARGHHHHHHHH. I call it Mount Washmore, oxygen mask derigour.
Have several OCD friends and I love visiting their houses because they take such great care but knowing them all well, I know they hide a lot of anxiety and lack of self worth and heartache. Give me a casual well lived-in house anyday. One OCD Gfriend whom I love to bits gave me a card that hangs on my wall.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Here's a great prezzie, instead of a nappy service, why not get them a cleaner once a week for a couple of months? And practice not doing the washing up for a couple of days, tis quite liberating and the world does not stop to frown. Yes sometimes I have been mortified when official people wish to enter my house but in general I really couldn't give a damn, my house is not where my spirit lives, just my body and like my body, it will never be perfect but functional.
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:40:46 PM |
I get the sense that this baby may be Premature. If that's the case, then the mom and dad most likely have been going through a lot just trying to have a healthy baby. Maybe their house is like that because they are going through the ringer and have no helP? If that's the case, then I'm sure they were embarrassed, and tried to keeP their feelings low key so as not to make them worse.
Could be other reasons. But the above is my inference.
They have been in this house for a few months, and the baby was one week overdue! In all honesty, they are simply lazy people.... to see it for my own eyes in how the dishes weren't washed, rubbish everywhere, and hardly room to move. What I did note was how clean and tidy the cabinet was.... where my brother-in-law keeps his liquor and car collection, problem was it was kind of hard to get close to admire that.
If it was my house I'd be busy all night burning the crap in the backyard, but I'm sure in a few months there wont be room out there either. For two unemployed people they seem to accumulate an extraordinary amount of waste. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:53:19 PM |
hmm...judging books by their covers.
She has been pregnant,......
Not at all, I'm a father of four and I'm quite able to maintain some order in the house, sure I have lazy days.... today was one of them!
If I'm judging them too harshly then so be it, if they suffer from low self esteem for the years on unemployment benefits and duping the social security system for extra payments then I must be silly in my attack on their lack of encouragement to even clean a house.
Sorry, but my brother-in-law is no stranger, and always welcomed in my home... I just find it sad he doesn't share any sense of well being like I do, it isn't healthy for his three kids either when they have fast food every night and have to walk with rubbish everywhere.
Funny how the smokes and booze is always well stocked...... | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:55:15 PM | {quote]where my brother-in-law keeps his liquor and car collection,
As I suspected...demarkation of duties in accordance to his preferences. Your brother-in-law is one lazy git. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:39:42 AM | Homes are for free expression NOT good impressions..(taken from a movie and I'm not sure which one).
I like an orderly home but, what orderly is for me may be another mans chaos. Hygiene is important but, "hospital clean" is anal. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:01:27 AM | I don't like to judge people on their houses, but this sounds like laziness to me.
Funny, alot of women I know who are due to give birth get that 'nesting' zest within them and scrub the house from top to bottom, wanting the house to be spick and span for the new arrival. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:24:06 AM | my house is as claen as i want it to be.. sometimes i get a pile of newspapers and junk mail on the table , when i find i havent ready them from lack of time , they go in the bin.. i have a timber floored house , on a busy road with no guttering , so its very dusty.. if i wanted to keep on top of it , i'd have to sweep almost every day , but it gets the once over once a week ( i should clean more often , but im only impressing myself.. )
I have a lot of collectable car parts in my house , as if they were in the shed they'd be stolen..
on a cleanliness scale.. i'd be a 6/10 , 10 being eat off the floor clean, 1 being eat off the paper plates and leave them where i was eating!!! | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:12:59 AM | Used to share house with a girl who I thought had OCD...following me around with a rag and a bottle of Jif...and I thought I was orderly. One day I snapped and warned her if she kept going the way she was, I would have to electronically refund her bond and deposit in two minutes. 
I like living in a lived-in home...sunken leather couch and seats, books and records about, some doggie hair and smell (hey I am a fan of dogs), but records must be on its sleeve...not left on the turntable gathering dust....unless its Engelbert Humperdinck or something...I do keep my immediate area neat and tidy...that is my bedroom, my bed...what can I say, I am institutionalised....it only takes a perfectly made bed and mattress to be thrown out the window on inspection four or five times in a row to commit that to memory and to stay on from then on. I have boxes for my bits...a watch box, cuff link box, tie box, razor and sharps box, smoking box, tobacco in apothecary jars, pipes in its leather sleeves...so the rest of the house can be messy but my quarters is always clean and ready for inspection...and my body....I am just a water conservationist's worst nightmare...I have two or three showers in a day....three women from this site can confirm this....hey nothing wrong with keeping my body, my temple clean.
I do not judge a messy home as a reflection of one's personality....except the bathroom. A dirty bathroom is a good indication of a slob...c'mon, seriously is it not? If there's any room in the house that can be cleaned, let this be the one...I don't inspect the living room or the kitchen or even the bedroom, but I'd be damned if I don't run my fingers on the bathroom sink and the bath tub... | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:17:52 AM | suggest as therapy cum penance for excessively unPC water usage, Pedro must practice two National Stink days per month and one National Stink Weekend bi weekly. A true celebration of National Stink Days involves getting up, making breakfast ( cheeses, smoked fish, real bread etc, taking it to bed with newspaper, book, art stuff, music, whatever scrolls your nerd and only get up for pee stops and more vitals. No teethcleaning, hairbrushing,changing of nightgarb if any, no contact with the outside world, if friends have to see you let them break in and then force them to bring more vitals before they bugger orf again, alternatively invite them to hop in but only if they chill with you. Had an armchair in bedroom specifically put there for less bohemian friends to sit during my not getting outa bed days. Did it for my fortieth and was reminded of how much as a teenager I liked to read a whole book or a detailed drawing in one day and doing absolutely nothing else. The occasional National Stink Weekend does take some planning but can be highly productive. I think you could save just enough water to cover the rest of the month and who knows after lesson one, lesson two about occasional sofa sleeping may help your kamikaze messy bed fears.
Have to say, there are times when I seriously have wanted to throw my kids' things out the window but ^^^ that was an unnessarily harsh form of discipline not surprised you are anal, fear is an effective weapon and leave a multitude of quirky scars.
Sounds a bit sick but I usually wait until I am having quite bad breathing problems before I dust etc....can last about a week, two at a push with noticeable uppage of drugs cos on busy road, two cats and lotsa human slough ....tis sooooo unfair but perversely an extremely funny form of harsh internal discipline with regards to housework. Think I would like to swap mine for a kamikaze bed fear, I'll throw in a lifetime supply of ventolin and a very small picture of a full beer glass 
Sorry OP and thanks for not taking offense at terse view of brother-in-law.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> Slightly cringed after I posted it. I am blaming peri menopause and pinched nerve in neck for any further things I say until I see the physio. On the up side tis a valid reason for not doing housework but considering I did it having an asthma attack. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:51:05 PM | DO you serve dinner, or sandwiches to the renovating men in your bathtub | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:49:18 PM | As a single guy I dust when the light comes in through the back window and I realise that the table is looking dusty... at which point I make a mental note to use the damp tea-towel after doing the dishes (every second day) and give everything a quick wipe over. Once there is no light coming the back window I realise the windows need a clean, but I've only been in this house for 10 weeks so we're not there just yet. Loo and bathroom are always very clean, as is the room my grand-daughter sleeps in when she stays over. I make a point to wash my bedding every six months, whether it needs it or not. (That last one was a joke people)
There's spotless, untidy, then squalor. My choice is untidy. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:32:20 AM | ^^^ 
My house is a brothel (not literally as in full of hookers though!)
I do keep my house clean, not so much tidy. I would hate my kids to be scared to leave something lying around for fear of mum blowing up. I do like clean kitchens, bathrooms and toilets though. The rest....meh...not so fussy.
Maybe I need to find me a nice anal man to keep house for me! | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:29:55 AM | | I do find it odd how some people(I'm puting my own hand up too) seem to be able to keep their work place and desk spotless, yet at home it's almost the complete opposite. I try to clean as much as possible around the house, yet my own bedroom seems to become a sanctuary for the more cluttered side of my personality. My wife is just as bad for this, her work station is impeccable, yet she's unorganized and loses things at home.... it's certainly amusing to see the contrasts in both of us. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:32:16 PM | The contrasts of what some deem clean and others filthy. I have a friend whose house is always clean and tidy, yet her tea/coffee mugs are always heavily stained with tannin..I know it is clean but ugh...which is so funny cos my whole house can occasionally look a lot worse and she always goes Ugh when visiting (she must really love me to master her shudders ) I am ridiculously pedantic about the outside of my saucepans being as shiny and clean as the inside. I have professional cookware over 20 years old now and still sparkly clean on the outside, even the roasting trays and frying pan.
And yes when I was working as a PA many moons ago, I had a very organised desk and was pedantic (can't use anal cos tis Hilly's copyright lol) about the filing. My filing thing got noticed and arghhhh I got asked to redo the whole department with no extra pay (typical MP rorting everyone he could). Filing at home consists of shoving everything including empty envelopes into plastic bags and then shoving them under the bed. Couldn't even find kids birth certificates recently...took several days and some concentrated lateral thinking.....ah ha of course I put them under the sheets in the linen cupboard. But mostly I know the general location of things in my home.
Cars are where I notice glaring anomalies. I prefer mine clean as is possible despite kids dumping whatever, so it gets cleaned once a weekish. I have a few friends where their car is their messy side, in fact a nightmare of take away rubbish, newspapers and things that time forgot, it's a wonder anyone can fit in the front seat with some. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:21:25 PM | If I was to comment on the house described in the OP I'd probably say, yeah it sounds messy, but it was described in the OP and in subsequent posts specifically to elicit that response. My initial thought was that when you go to visit someone you know and love, isn't it to see them, not their house? I know it's hard not to notice if they are at either end of the really neat or really messy scale, but it's just part of who they are and if you like them enough to be visiting in the first place, then that wouldn’t be your focus. So you tell them they're a right pig (or an anal neatfreak) but you love 'em for who they are, clear some junk off the couch (or remove plastic protector from couch), and enjoy their company.
Everything in life seems to have cycles. My teenage bedroom demonstrated a genuine attitude of ahh fukc it...which evolved into years of houseproud ...and then evolved back into ahhh fukc it. Excuses abound: I work, as well as look after the ‘farm’, and don’t want to spend free time cleaning things...it’s an old house and never looks clean even when it is....blah blah blah. Oh and this one: of all the regrets you might hear lamented on a death bed, guaranteed you’ll never hear “I wish I’d kept the house cleaner” (maybe excepting those who are dying of bubonic plague). So I accept my lack of housekeeping skills as a tolerable fault...although I don't remember ever apologising for my mess as a teenager, whereas I find myself doing that now. Some sort of learned response that grown up women are meant to keep a clean house attached to me through the years I guess.
I do the basics once a week, and I will try to clean up if someone is coming over...but I love my equally messy friends coming over the best... especially once they are trained to help themselves to tea, coffee and food because I am a genuine contender for worst hostess ever, and I really don’t want to mess up my chances. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:50:29 PM | | Maybe I should have titled it better, but what do you call a house where you cannot sit down..... a cave? | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:25:15 AM | but what do you call a house where you cannot sit down..... a cave?
OP, you call it what it is... a tip, a dump, a pig sty (no offence to little piggys), a feral and disgusting hovel. I know this kind of place too well (no, not my house!). I've seen houses worse, much worse, than the one you describe in your OP. As far as children living in a house like that... DoCS will do nothing about it. People have the right to live in filth up to a certain point. The 'point' at which the great toothless tiger (DoCS) intervenes is usually poo related, but even then it'd have to smeared over just about every surface in the house before they'd step in. 'Mustn't be judgemental' is their motto. | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:12:49 AM | I had bought a tin of dark brown paint..a cheap mistint they call Donkey. The idea being to paint the hallway so little hand prints etc did not show up so easily. I found out it was too dark and painted a few choice words about the colour donkey.
Ex was being his usual antagonistic self and to cut a long story short I got a knock on the door late at night from the police.....I was piddled on wine, the sitting room and hallway were a shambles because I was decorating. I was non too polite to them because they were idiots and told them to go away and wouldn't let them in the house. Well DCD or DoCS came over a few days later, I opened the door telling them I was expecting them....they looked a bit surprised but even they had to laugh when I explained the stupidity of the police and my ex and the mess in my house and the words on the hallway in large two foot letters, which were no longer there cos I had finished decorating......F^CK SH*T COLOURED DONKEY  | |
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:37:29 AM | Some people are just born to live as 'pigs'.
My neighbour for example has an overcrowed house.....her lounge is a pile of clothes in which she lies back in watching television, whilst her clothes covered sofa looms in the background.
She walks into my home then tells me 'she really should clean her house'...but can't be bothered.
It takes me two hours to clean my home from top to bottom...I do this on a Saturday as I work during the week.
I would be looking into a possible 'drug' scenerio.....this is the usual lifestyle a druggie would take.
My neighbour doesn't have a car to run .....yet she is ALWAYS broke.....You do the math.
How I would love to sit and smoke and talk on my mobile phone.....all day.....No thank you!
My sympathy is with the new born.
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| How clean is your house?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:56:39 AM | Yes, my house is both tidy and clean. When my boys are over for the week it becomes somewhat less tidy which drives me mad! I recently purchased a wireless router which has allowed me to banish the eldest one to his room when he wants to use his laptop. No more of his crap on my dining table. Bliss. Of course he had a problem with it - I am banished he said! No hon I replied – now you will live longer because I will no longer see the mess you make and be tempted to throttle you. See, mothers know best.
they do say that if you are obssessive about cleanliness , then you are worried that people might think you yourself have some dirtiness you care to hide
a too tidy OCD house is just as scarey from a psychological point of view as a complete dump
it's an anal retentive thing . Poor sods , the real them is quivering inside in case some body thinks they're less than perfect .
Oh dear, the judgements! It seems that I have a dirtiness to hide (heh, heh…..grubby smile…….oh, not that sort of dirty???), I am anal retentive, and quivering inside in case someone thinks I am less than perfect.
Or perhaps…..I just like my home to be clean and tidy???? | |
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