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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do guys lie about having a gf?      Home login  
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 born2dance7
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 1
why do guys lie about having a gf?Page 1 of 1    
I've been talking to a guy for a while now and we get along really well. He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend a while back an didn't have a gf. We finally decided to hang out and when we did it was nice. We hung out at his house watched movies, cuddled, held hands and kissed, he kept telling me how pretty I was. he didn't try anything sexual which I found nice because I felt like he really liked me. The next day he asked if I like him and I said yes and he told me he liked me too. Just recently I found he had a facebook after he told me he didn't and it said he was in a relationship with some girl. when I asked him about it he said that it was old and hadn't changed it. I then went to his myspace and it changed from single to in a relationship. I checked out the girls page and her status says she can't wait to see her bf. Why would he lie? Its not like he just wants sex he's never forced himself on me and we've never slept with each other. He always talks about how he wants to go dancing with me and talks about future dates. Does he really like me? why would he keep lying about having a girlfriend? ohh and apparently they have been dating for like 3 months. I had even told him before that I was looking for a relationship(a bf) and that I don't do hook ups or friends with benefits. and he told me he wasn't like that and he also wanted a relationship but he wanted to "have fun and take things step by step first" I don't know what that means. When I found out he had a girlfriend I told him I had a boyfriend just to see what he did or said( I don't have a bf) he then got kind of upset, I told him I was joking and that I didn't . I asked him what would he do if I did? and he said he'd stop talking to me. I'm confused is that why he's lied about having a girlfriend because he's afraid id stop talking to him?
 cultured
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 2
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:13:22 AM
Honestly... you both sound like you two have some growing up to do.

Take offense to that if you want.


You found out he had a girlfriend... so why even play the game of "hey, i got a man too", just to see if he gets mad/upset, then say "I'm just joking..."

Girl, thats a game.

You're a pretty girl, appreciate and respect yourself... I'm sure you can meet a great guy who is SINGLE, and will treat you like a queen.

....

But to answer your question, "why do guys lie".... the same reason you lied to him, and why anybody really lies in the first place. They are immature and playing games.

They fear the real truth.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 3
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:41:29 AM
Are you retarded? Seriously.
 OKRob
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 4
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:52:31 AM
It's a sad fact that many people come online for an ego boost and to feel secure in the knowlege that they still have what it takes to get a womam even though he already has one. It's a sign of an unhealthy relationship if one person is coming online instead of giving his attention to the woman in his life. It isn't just men who do this sort of thing though. Some people are good, some people are bad. I don't think it's gender specific.

In your case though. It sounds like he was looking for fun as suggested, one step at a time was probably to let you think there might have been a future.

Some of us really are single and don't want to be. Sorry that you have been let down. It's embarrassing for honest men when they see this sort of thing going on.
 LD44
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 5
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:53:26 AM
He figured you were really cute and just wanted to bang you. you look dumb enough so he figured it was worth a try hoping if you found out he had a girlfriend you wouldnt tell her.
 justinx
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 6
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:53:00 AM
I'd definetly stop with the mind games. It just wastes time and convolutes everything.

It sounds to me like he has respected your wishes for the most part. He cared enough to not attempt anything sexual as per your request. So imo thats a big point for him.

His status on the other social networking sites, could have been pushed onto him by some overbearing insecure person. Eitherway i dont put much stock into them, someone else could have even made them for him (unlikely though). Im sure one of mine probably says married, even though ive been seperated for 2 years.

Its possible, in my opinion, he is dating and not in a commited relationship. You'd have to ask him, " Be honest with me, i snooped into your personal affairs and im curiouse as to the status on your myspace page."

Personaly, i would drop it, have fun while it lasts. He seems to be searching for something and its not just a quick hookup, as he has respected your wishes. I wouldnt put too much of myself into the relationship till i saw how it developed. So take it light and enjoy your good evenings together. If he is just after sex, you will find out soon enough.

Good Luck and have fun!
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 7
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:13:35 AM
At your age folks change partners pretty frequently --- on average about every six months or so. So, lots of people get caught in these transition glitches. For some reason, he might not want to be telling you every detail of his breakup with this other woman ...

Or ... maybe he lied. It doesn't sound like an open and shut case to me. But, I read the thread fairly quickly.

Good luck. Sounds like you have to sort through this a bit.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 8
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:27:59 AM
Wow... immaturity ABOUNDS! Both of you need to grow up. OP, if you sincerely haven't figured this out, it sounds like you aren't ready to be out in the dating world.



un-freakin-believable
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 9
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:48:57 AM
Well, initially I thought the other posters were being a bit hostile in calling you immature, born2dance7. I still think that, but I must admit that given as your profile states you are 20, I'm sort of retroactively surprised to see this kind of question being asked.

1. This guy is lying about having a GF because he wants to date both you and her at once, and possibly sleep with both of you. He assumes that either you or her will not find that acceptable, which is why he is resorting to lying. He knows he is being dishonest and this business about not talking to you any more is basically one more lie aimed at convincing you that he's really seeing just you and not someone else.

2. This is guy is also not that bright. He's a complete idiot to be posting his true relationship status online and lying to you about it. He also thinks you are a complete idiot, that he can lie to you and you will not check and find out that he's lying.

3. I would stop seeing this guy. Maybe he "likes" you but that's not the issue, he's being deliberately dishonest with you and he thinks that you are stupid. If he lies to you about this, he'll lie to you about anything else.

Look, it is one thing if he's open and honest and says "I'm seeing other people also". This is what mature adult people do all the time. You're never going to have a decent relationship with someone that starts with deception.
 chidan78
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 10
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:23:43 AM
First off, why do you care? If you want a relationship, and this guy is already lying to you about having a gf, does he really sound like someone you should be involved with? Cut him out of your life and move on.

As for why guys lie...all sorts of reasons. My guess is, when it comes to this guy, is that he is in a new relationship, isn't totally sure about her, so he's trying to keep you around as a backup. If things with his gf work out, you'll be gone, if they don't work out, then he can tell you that he really cares about you and wants to give a relationship a try (but keep in mind he'll probably have a back up for you as well).
 lightningwatcher2
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 11
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:44:12 AM

why do guys lie about having a gf?

Two reasons:
1. They want to have sex with you and don't think you will cheat with them, or are afraid you will tell people about him.
2. They like to keep their options open by having other women lined up or at least interviewed so they can keep "trading up".

If you get into a relationship with a guy like this, just remember that he will not change. But if his reason is #2, and you know he can't find anyone better than you since you look way better than him, then you don't have to worry as much about reason #2. Even then, he will still have his fall back options if you ever dump him.
 UCSBSUPERMAN
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 12
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:48:20 AM
Cuz they wanna bone, can't really put it in any other words. They saw you, were attracted to you, maybe even noticed some attraction on the other end, and now wanna nail ya!
 lightningwatcher2
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 13
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:50:50 AM
I just read your whole post. You did nothing wrong. It seems like he lied. There is a small chance someone else made up a fake myspace profile for him. Though if it has many friends on it, and an long history of wall posts, and lots of pictures, it is unlikely.

Since "she is not his girlfriend", maybe you could email her. Or maybe he is dating her and she is rushing things and saying it is further than it is. I think you should really confront him on the myspace thing and have him send her some emails just to show you what the status really is. If he can't do that, he is taken and you should find someone who is single. Too many women are willing to share guys and won't give slightly less good looking guys a chance.
 Moosho
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 14
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:14:41 AM
The simple truth is hes a t**t, your young and attractive and you will find your man soon, he was playing a game and you caught him out. I've read some of the other posts and thought some were harsh, at the end of the day you learn from your mistakes, don't worry about it we all make mistakes and learn from them, thats life.


Keep
 captain wolfe
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 15
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:32:32 AM
well this guy is a player do not waste your time just move on. life to short to deal with lame stuff like that.
 hughbaugher
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 16
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:20:27 AM
Wow, talk about high school drama.

I think you need to spend a year or two being single and learn to enjoy life without a bf before you get a bf.
 slapshot682
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 17
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:21:29 PM
This is why I don't have a myspace or a facebook. It's an invitation to drama because lots of women will nit pick at each and every statement.

You aren't exclusive so you aren't in a relationship. He's got the right to play the field. It happens to everybody. I can't count how many times it has happened to me. You're young so frankly all people in your age group don't know the "rules" yet.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 18
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why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:36:45 PM
Why do women play games?

Sounds to me like you THINK he's lying.

But you're not convinced.
 road_toad_ala_mode
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 19
why do guys lie about having a gf?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:45:21 PM
Well...though most of what I was going to say has been said, (and rather harshly) my main question is why did you lie to him? I completely understand your frustrationn BUT, you need to be the bigger person here. Obviously, he wasn't willing to confide in you the fact he was still dating someone else. However, perhaps that particular woman wasn't filfilling his wants ort desires as you did.

With that being said, if you were his ideal woman, he wouldn't still be dating the other woman.

Not to be all Dr. (idiot) Phil on you, but why do you care? If he isnakt man enough to say, "listen, I want to date you , but I'm also dating/hanging with/**ckin'/whatever this other woman...do you have a problem with that?"; then you need to move onto the next guy.

It's not like you don't have anything going for you. I'm positive you will meet a great guy who will treat you the way a man should treat a woman of your calibur. Quit with the little boy's and their antic's...BUT, brfore this will happen, you cannot alow for this crap to even start. At the fisrt hint of a cheat or liar, kindly ask or confront him. If he denies, show him the evidence. If he still denies, get the heck out of Dodge; you don't a liar.
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