| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:38:51 AM | | Ok this is my story i have had a string of bad relationships where i have always been treated like s..t im a twenty five year old man i hold down a good job and i think i try to treat women with respect i met a girl on plenty of fish she lives near where i work we got talking online then one day i was on my way home from work she noticed my car dont know how cause i barely described it to her she texted me and asked me was it me and told her it was so we met up for a few seconds i could not get over it it was love at first sight that evening i texted her and asked her did she want to come out to my mates housefor a few drinks and id drop her home after as i was not going to drink turned out we slept together that night and we spent all night making love it was fantastic an instant connection well three months later i started to have doubts because of my past relationships been cheated on constantly andi got very insecure we used to fight over it and id break up with her but she would cry and assure me and we would get back together other than that we had a brilliant relationship she sent me messages saying she would never leave me and how much she loved me and i done the same we made fantastic love every time we could i loved her so much she was perfect but every so often id get insecure and break it off with her and then we would get back stronger than ever then last friday it came to a stand still we had a big fight and i dropped her home she tried to talk to me but i was angry and told her to get out of the car and i drove off i got home and calmed down i had realised what i had done istarted by saying i was sorry for what happened and told her my true feelings for her that i love her and care bout her and how perfect she is in my eyes now she keeps telling me its over but she needs time and to stop contacting her im out of my head here in worry its all my fault i have lost the love of my life what can i do i need advice please if anyone has had a simular experiance or has an idea please post it i would be gratefull and shannon if you come across this please realise i love you and all i want is you if i had another chance id change my ways you are my world baby girl ps thanks everyone this is my first post so please excuse | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:56:18 AM | | i know what it is to love someone and know how it is to lose them too..after 22 years i lost my love not to death but to something else.. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:59:09 AM | | This is easy. Your insecurity is ruining this relationship. The best thing you can do if you really want to salvage this is to offer to seek counseling for yourself and then do it! If a girl kept picking fights with you, wouldn't talk about it and broke up with you every time, think of the emotional toll it would take on you and who needs that? You want to have a healthy, happy relationship. You sound like you want that with Shannon, but are just terrified of being hurt or made a fool of. You owe her the consideration of trusting her unless and until she proves unworthy of it (and not just in your mind - real proof). Stop sabotaging this thing - it sounds like it could be great! Good luck and I wish I could solve my own relationship problems so easily. Maybe if you find my advice helpful you could give my problems a shot. I could use a guy's advice. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:24:55 AM | Well Shannon has had more than enough of your insecurities it would appear, and the painful drama it has caused between you. She doesn't feel safe emotionally because you're playing emotional tug of war with her heart.
Address and heal your past issues with all of your ex's infidelity and quit transferring your rage onto new love interests. How is this productive in any way in maintaining a healthy realtionship with anyone? I suspect this has been part of the reason you have had many failed relationships. You're in a downward vicious cycle and you've hopefully hit bottom.
You can't expect to keep doing the same things and get different results. The problem is you. You're unstable and you need to get some professional help if you ever want to develop a stable relationship.
Hitting the bottom is good because the only alternative is up from here if you truly want to work on yourself to have a happier life. We all go through tough times at times in our lives being human and often the solution is that we need to learn to acquire new skills that we lack.
Perhaps if you show Shannon that you truly do love her by actively doing something about your destructive tendancies, rather just staying stuck, she may eventually trust that you are sincere and truly committed to resolving your insecurties, not just for her, but more importantly, for yourself.
All the best to you.
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:33:04 AM | | Yes, what RR said, only she said it better. Sorry if I sounded condescending and "preachy." Again, good luck and if you promise Shannon that you will change - DO IT!!! Sorry, the preachy thing again. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:31:29 AM | Block of text...so annoying to try to read that. Btw periods are veeeeeeeeeery cool.
What do you want us to tell you? You were insecure and ruined a relationship. If she doesn't take you back then that's your fault.
Did you have a right to be skeptical? Yeah you did, but it sounds like you went overboard.
You have to decide if you're ready to start trusting her. If you're not, then don't try to get back together, you're only going to make it worse. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:21:08 PM | To be brutally honest. You need serious professional help and I am relieved that at the end of your story, she left you. Good for her. She doesn't need to be with a person like that.
Maybe she has dated nut jobs like you her whole life and I'm glad she is breaking the pattern and gets help for herself because if I was her, I would've left your ass after the 1st time or 2nd time.
If you really love and care for her, leave her the hell alone, which you haven't because you're selfish and insecure. You've already broken her trust many times with your fake promises. MAN UP to what you did and don't use her to fill your own insecurities.
You need to be alone for awhile dude, and figure yourself out. And she needs to stop picking losers like you. Seriously. Stop playing the victim, cause you're not. You're an ass. You kicked her outta your car, wtf dude and then cry cause you love her so much you booted her outta your car. I could see the scenario playing out
"Baby, I booted you outta my car cause you mean da world to me baby girl, cough, here's a bus ticket..next bus is at 4:30pm, see I'm thoughtful babe."
"Baby, I cursed you out, cause you know I love you sooo much you.... bitch!"
"Baby, please take me back, I promise to be a better ahole to you".
The even sadder part is conner-18 who is only 18!!! is giving you sage advice as he even knows you're an idiot for ruining what was a great thing.
The even more sadder part is you haven't even given us any steps on what you are going to do to change...and make yourself right for her which leads me to believe you're not going to change. Be a man and grow some balls and stop using your past to treat her like shit. It's just a pussy move to do. I suspect this girl has low self-esteem and thanks to you, probably will continue to.
Truth hurts but I don't sugarcoat otherwise people don't learn.
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:30:15 PM | Well...that was fast. Looks like johnny closed or blocked his account.
Everyone else pretty much covered it. If you're still reading this johnny, please leave the woman alone and get some help man. Going to counseling to get her back is a hollow effort. You cannot change for her...you can only change for yourself.
Paul ;) | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:35:44 PM | oh and the ladies here that sympathetic to him, your hearts are in the right place, but you're way too nice. =\
Kick this fool to the curb. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:53:05 PM | I agree u r the one hurting Shannon by not trusting her, u first need to get over whatever the heck yr ex girls did to u, otherwise u will never me able to move on and may eventually push Shannon away soooo far that she may hate u, now think if she is so great for u why do u keep hurting her without reason, get over yr past already or risk losing the love of yr life.
If Shannon say she need time, give her that but text her every now n then telling her that u truly love her, so she will include this in her thoughts while shes thinking about everything.
Dont call her just let her know u love her more than anything n will not hurt her again, she obviously loves u too but its too much for her thats why she needs a break. Text or email her n dont rush her. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:16:02 PM | | well here goes. i have a girl i loved very much & i let her slip away b/c of silly things that she wanted me to change...i guess i let my pride get in my way & didn't change now its been 2 years & i still regret that decision.. so before this slips away you must try to get her to give you another chance & that can be by sending her a card, flowers, letter telling her how much you need her & how wonderful she is. or use what ever brought u 2 together. u can not be pushy it may drive her away so just settle reminders of the love you have for her. if shes truly loves you ...you will get that chance but you must treat it as your last chance, you should never accused her of cheating unless you have proof. if she does it you will find out soon enough. all i can say is my heart was broken when i lost her & i deal with that pain but i would not trade my time with her for nothing because she truly made happy & if i knew it would turn out the same way for me i would still have been with b/c to be happy for a little while is better that not happy at all. so my advice is dive in trust with all your heart give you & her a chance for happiness. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:02:49 PM | I seriously don't understand why people here are saying he should try to contact her. The girl doesn't need crap like that and shouldn't have taken it for so long.
He f*cked up many times and he hasn't even changed, he just wants her back and then what?
This is why people need to be alone by themselves first and fix whatever problems they have before they even attempt to screw another person's life with their baggage. | |
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| confused broken heart need serious advice
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:24:45 PM | Can we get the cliff-notes version, please-? Or divey that paragraph up into bullets-?
You had sex. It was fantastic. You got lovey-dovey and sappy. She just wanted sex. I know it got hot, and the dopamine (a natural high released in your brain through sexual ecstacy) withdrawals can be brutal, but you've got to learn the art of connect/disconnect. | |
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