|
|
|
|
|
| | The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | I am pretty sure that most of you were raised with this poem by Robert Frost, learned it in school, etc. etc. Came across it while I was organizing my computer documents. Started to think about the roads "I" had not taken. I've led a very interesting life, but not without it's risks, failures and very often lack of the security that some of my friends have held dear. I could not say, I am sorry about anything I've chosen-- in that even after bad times, I've learned quite a bit and they've led me to other experiences. However, there are some things I wish I could have experienced.
Any of you able to put your wistfulness into words or care to share? Which "unique" roads are you exceptionally happy about having taken? What choices were made very very wrongly or w/o a clear head (for want of a better way to put it)? What do you wish you could have or should have done? Do you still have time or circumstances to do it? Will you? Are you looking for someone to share that ride?
"THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
By Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "
Namaste, serenitycw | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:36:33 AM | | If you took some other forks in the road you might still be regretting the things you have done that you wouldn't have done on the other road, unless you made some huge mistakes it's probably better not to sit around dwelling on what might have been, better to be thankful for what experiences you had | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:04:19 PM | Yes, OP, there are many, but as was mentioned, if I had taken those other roads, perhaps I would be regretting something else.
How many of us haven't wished to roll back history, in some kind of SciFi fantasy time machine and warned a loved on who would have died, stopped a disaster, loved differently......
Robert Frost has always been one of my favorite poets. He took the simplest, most basic parts of life to their essence, made them pure and fine.
  | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:05:00 PM | In my late 20s I found myself unhappy with and regretful about everything -- myself, my choices and where they had led, my kids, my job, my spouse, my house, etc. Everything!
I had an allergic reaction to some medication the doc gave me for my "depression," wound up in a psychiatric lockdown facility, stared down death by my own hand, and finally learned to stop trying to be what everyone else thought I should be... especially when THEY couldn't even agree.
So I committed a grevious sin, got a divorce, told everyone to bite my big ol' belligerent butt, left my miserable job for one that paid half as much, relocated, and went back to find the path I missed so long ago. It wasn't perfect either. Sometimes it was boggy and inclined. But I'd walk thru the fires of hell a million times to travel it all over again. You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming back to the other one.
That doesn't mean that there aren't still things I've considered but never seriously pursued. Nor does it mean that I won't eventually get around to them. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:21:47 PM | One hot summer desert day my cousins and I were playing in the Big Field, and were telling stories we were making up as we went along. My cousin Sharon had a beautiful horse named Black Beauty; Sandra, White Beauty. . . . When asked what I was going to name *my* "horse," I could see that Red Beauty or Brown Beauty weren't going to make me happy. . . . so I "picked" a pinto, and named him Paintbrush.
And that's pretty much been the story of my life since. And as another fine poet said: Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention. ...
 | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:40:55 PM | i am soooooooooooo thankful that i took risks in attending a mostly male grad program, starting my own firm, adopting my kids at age 50 and even moving around a lot, as well as speaking out when no one else "dared" on many things. i 've also done some really great things in my field that are still standing and i'm very proud of, but often was not the one who took the credit or the glory-- but rather left that to my clients. we all knew who got the thing to happen, but the pride is a silent one.
BUT if possible, knowing what i know now about relationships and my role in them, i'd redo my forties in the personal department. i really had no clue. those are the years, we women are ruled by our little head! mine was not thinking.  but, it all lead me to my ex ultimately (what was i thinking?), my children and now, i live here and far away from what used to be "home". because of my kids, i believe it was divine purpose, as the ex was there to also carry out a mission, i had created in my mind as a commitment, since i was five years old--that was to adopt older children.
i DO miss home and the longstanding friends, or perhaps the interrupted memories of daily living in their midst. it's hard to move around and resituate. but, when i seriously considered going home, some had retired and moved, some just moved for other work and the 14 years that had gone by, left me being more home here than there. i'm an only child with little family. but, i do envy the roots and continuity that some people have, while they envy my "chutzpah".
my friend back east and i used to "share" our experiences and what we learned. she was a housewife who had given up her career dreams and married her high school sweetheart. she yearned for what she could have done and i yearned for her family security and a husband who loved her silly. she loved him, but wished she had dated (just to know). she made me part of her family and i took her on professional assignments as my "assistant". when i worked out of my house, i watched her kids if they were sick and she was at her part time job. she walked my dogs, if a client demanded a very full day and my car ride home was several hours and no housemates were available to assist.
my only regret is not having that sort of relationship with a man that she had. so i'm prioritizing that now. whether i will, remains to be seen. but, i'm giving it my "all". i told my son, he had forty more years to worry about dating, if he used me as an example! he finds that hilarious. before, he was worried that all "old people" die at 60. now, he thinks "i'm hot" for an old lady!
i also think if i didn't have the lymes disablity, i'd travel more. but, then again, i'd be working too much to travel! where i live, is viewed as a vacation area, so that's a good thing. also, i 've entertained foreign students and meet as many people as i can. i'm not the camera type, although i appreciate a good picture by others. personally, i need to sit and talk and "know" the people. did that on an out island once and was dragged by my new friends into the bushes literally-- to dance outside in the stars, in front of the litttle shacks where they all lived. the band was set up with full electric to the main post that fed the houses. others dined in the fancy hotel restaurant, not me. not many have talked and entertained kids from iraq or japan. i sponsor three kids from around the world. still, i wish i could travel africa. that is another dream i had since age five. not sure my immune system could handle it today though.
so, the solution for me: it's good to share what we all experience and learn. i have the endless thirst to know more about people and what they experience. not sure why. but my mom said my first word was "why" and not "mommy". she missed out, i must have been a handful!
those are my examples. what are yours? in the endless quest of why? | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:58:26 PM | So many times in my life I have taken a leap/risk, and had the time of my life (at that moment). It's those unexpected paths that are the most satisfying to me, so if opportunity presents itself, I will most often leap into it.
I had dorm space at UW-Madison (1979), all set to go, when my dad suggested I apply to CU-Boulder. I got accepted at the last minute, and have been here since. I OFTEN wonder how different a person I would be had I gone to Wisconsin.
I dreamed of going to Ireland (1998), and once was looking at a rugby site where the U Illinois needed women for their trip. I signed up--never met any of them. Had a GREAT time with all of them. My friend ALSO leaped into that one, and went from a small-town girl in SDakota to a small-town girl in other parts of the world (she moved to Ireland, then England, then France, now Canada--she's now a WOOFer!) All because she took the leap with me to Ireland to play a little rugby.
I did RAGBRAI in 2005 on a last-minute whim--never had been to Iowa, never had ridden a road bike at all. Had to borrow an ill-fitting used bike from the 1980s. Went from never riding to riding a minimum of 50 miles (up to 83) in one day (for one week).
I can't regret what I don't know--I don't know what would have happened had I NOT done these things, I only know what HAS happened, and for the most part, it has turned out well. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:12:09 PM |
Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention. ...
Or, in the words of the equally immortal, Edith Piaf:
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien....
I wouldn't be who I am today. It's wasted energy if you let yourself focus on what might have been.
SARL | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:26:32 PM | | I regret none of the roads I've traveled throughout my life, for they have brought me to this time and place and special person in my life. Had I made one turn differently, I would not be where I am today, nor who I am today. Everything I've endured, both good and bad, happy and sad, was all a foundation for the rest and best of my life. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:29:40 PM | | Yes there are many choices I made in the past that I wish I would have made differently, but the past is past and can not be changed. It is possible to change the road we are now on and perhaps it may intersect a road that we rejected in the past, so never, say never, but most times we do not get a second chance. I wish I could say that I have learned from my past but I do seem to keep making the same mistakes. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:59:52 PM | The journey through life takes us to many forks in the road. Some will decide right away which direction they should go...while other may be a bit more cautious before making a decision, and then there will be the ones who will stop and never decide. Either way the decision will be made, life and time as we know, doesn't stand still for anyone.
All decision will carry with it a certain amount of risk. But to live one must take risk. So whichever decisions you had made in relation to your own fork in the road be content in the knowledge that though you might harbor some regrets...be on the look out for that next fork in the road. Life is a journey strap in and enjoy the ride! | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:39:58 PM | No major regrets for me, for I know all the roads I took gave me many opportunities and great lessons in life....
just like the seasons..there are reasons..for the path we take..there are no mistakes..just lessons to be learned From Barbra Streisand's song "Lessons To Be Learned" | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:43:52 PM | ah streisand, waitressed in my mom's friend's restaurant in brooklyn.
to be clear, i don't sit in my regrets and weep,but i have a number of younger friends in their 40's. i am glad some of the women are listening to what i view as my mistakes, or what i could have done better. i try to learn from what i view as missed opportunities. not many, but i think worthy of my attention while i shape my present and also with emphasis upon a relationship with a man--not career, not kids, just "us". i don't buy into the notion that some of it, still cannot be recaptured. i think some of it can. just not all. also perhaps in a slight different way and perhaps even better know that we've learned some lessons.
as to the seasons, acknowledging them and accepting them as "seasons" is part of what was recently taught to me, by a minister from africa who was travelling here a few weeks ago via the agape and inner light ministries. yes, i'm a brooklyn jew f rom an ethnic perspective, but this was part of my upbringing nonetheless. i spoke about him in another thread. very grounded in nature and accepting of the seasons.
thanks for reminding me killene-- rememberng the love that has come and gone that was in my heart and can be rekindled, as "i" am it's source. okay, i know it sounds mushy. so be it. i've contributed to the logical world more than my share!
interesting life cassago. wooby, as usual you pave a way for many to follow--often i am sure with a machete in the underbrush! mjseek, what an unbelievably beautiful picture. their road paved the way for yours. as to strapping in, i do miss the nyc subways and holding on to one as well. often lurching. but midst the swell of life and movement. but then, there is a time for the creek and the ocean. that is my time now. | |
|
| |
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:20:59 PM | Ahhhh CW...how I remember that poem! So nice of you to post it, thank you. Yes, I had to study it, as well as commit it to memory! But I still love it.
Now, if I allow hindsight, to be the designated driver of my life, then I could say I have regrets for this and that. But for every thing that I would change, come circumstances unforseen! Remember...anything we change, changes everything!
Different times I have been angry with my ex.[for whatever reason], I say I wish I had never met her!....but then? I would not have the two beautiful daughters I have today! Without my daughters, I would not have two beautiful grandkids!
So, regardless of what might have been had I chosen differently, what losses would I have because of those choices. As the saying goes......be careful what you pray for!
thank you for the fond memories. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:49:31 PM | There's a road I travelled in my twenties that taught me much about life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I decided to up and leave... go to either Montreal or Vancouver (whichever place offered me the best job first) and live there for minimum 3 years maximum forever. The impetus arose when I got passed over for a major promotion (a role I had been doing exceptionally for 6 months) because they realized, WHEN we were signing the contract, how ridiculously young I was and felt they couldn't make someone so young a manager. "Hell with that" I thought (I wanted to be President before I was 25 in those days, lol) "I'll go do something else, somewhere else and wait it out until I reached an "acceptable" age".
I wanted to go somewhere where I didn't know anyone at all; where I wouldn't be someone's daughter or sister or friend.... just ME. I wanted, more than anything, a blank slate to work with, to write my life large upon, and have it all belong to ME without anyone else's influence or contribution. A 'coming of age' movie in my own life, lol.
It was a very good plan, except for the fact that I moved me with me. So the "baggage" I was attributing to being my parent's daughter or my sibling's sister largely came with me. (I hasten to add here, that it was nothing bad, really just being the youngest child where it seemed everything had already been done by someone else before I had a chance to get there... including big sis making Sr. VP before 30).
I learned pretty quickly that it was my own perspective on life that was getting in my way. I learned equally as quickly that there were some things that were a lot more effortless when you have a "known track record" from your family or a recommendation from a friend or colleague. I learned it took a ridiculous amount of effort to find a good dry-cleaner or a reliable car mechanic or insurance broker.... the whole host of infastructure in our lives that we don't notice until we have to recreate it on our own - and don't know someone to ask who/where to go/what to use. I learned that my life didn't miraculously change because I had a particular job title or hit a certain income target or live somewhere else. (My career advanced in the smaller market faster than it would have in Toronto). I learned that when I'd set out those goals I had written them on paper, not carved them in stone. And, anyway, it was ME who was driving my expectations, not anyone else. And the only comparative that made any sense was whether it was working for me and was I enjoying my life.
Not a bad thing to figure out in my twenties.
A bit like Dorothy in the Wiz of Oz, I learned to appreciate my family and friends and that there really is no place like home after all. | |
|
| |
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:27:14 AM | hmm, isn't there an expression "my way or the highway"? so, at least you are groping for it, stray cat, philosophically speaking that is. just close your eyes and listen to "the voices leading you". 
so far not hearing that any regrets or roads not taken may still be taken. wanted to adopt kids at age 5 and finally did it at age 50. so, i do believe that "some" things will happen "eventually". if you really had regrets for passing them up or not getting to them.
thanks margot, i hope my kid learns that lesson as we speak. but, it's hers to learn. she's not 40 yet, just 19, so doesn't want to hear from me! i certainly would have hired you. but, then again, i was young too. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:33:10 AM | Oh sure J I could come up with a dozen roads that led to strange ends. However most of the strange paths I have traveled. The road of addiction. The road of alienation have made me into who I am. Had I not made every single choice I made I would not be me. For example I have always wanted to get out of Indiana. Way back in 1986 I had the option of moving to Orlando Florida, right where I wanted to be. The choice was this. Divorce my then ex wife and move (hopefully getting custody of my son ) or stay with her and my family in a place I did not want to be. We got divorced a few years later, I'm still here. But if I would have taken the choice I wanted at the time, followed my heart, I would never have had my daughter. So, sometimes following the choice of the heart can have consequences that we do not foresee at the time adn may never know. like bilbo baggins said in lord of the rings its a dangerous business, frodo, steping on the road outside your house.  | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:52:34 PM | | Lately, the "roads" I'm being offered are from much younger women, I guess, because I'm still young, carefree and in good shape for my age. I think I'm going to take one of them up on it. If it's a disaster, and it doesn't kill me, I will have learned my lesson. If not, maybe we'll be good for awhile...until I get so old that she realizes "eww, you're old!". | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:55:30 PM | very heartening, folks describing how they are okay or even better with rough paths in the past because they are where they are now, and who they are now.
i wonder if people who aren't who and where they want to be feel the same? do the folks happy with now remember times when they were full of regret, regret that later changed to okayness through getting past things and learning from them?
i hope so. i never used to regret decisions and choices because i believed that i had done everything i could to figure things out, and the choice was the best one i could make at the time. later, ie now, i am completely doubting that that was true (about a few important things).
for various reasons, certain aspects of work and social life, getting a graduate degree, and writing novels are still on my plate. i'm regretting not having done them. maybe that's wasted energy, though. maybe i should just get on them and tackle it all.
yes, perhaps the road to not having regrets is taking that energy into hope, and just beginning to try to attain those things and clear up whatever is holding one back.
hmm. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:04:45 PM | | I don't have any regrets about the roads not taken, but I have from time to time wondered where they would have taken me. I did my best not to make rash decisions, even though I was called upon to make choices in haste sometimes. I chose to stay and take the safer road in life instead of running off wildly. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been if I took those tempting offers. Knowing what happened to the people who made them, I could have had a very different and interesting life, but I'm very content with my life as it is. | |
|
| |
Selima
| | Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/17/2009 11:56:44 PM | Any of you able to put your wistfulness into words or care to share? Which "unique" roads are you exceptionally happy about having taken? What choices were made very very wrongly or w/o a clear head (for want of a better way to put it)? What do you wish you could have or should have done? Do you still have time or circumstances to do it? Will you? Are you looking for someone to share that ride? In some ways all of the roads I have taken have been, if not unique, not the standard, normal routes that most have taken. It wasn't always intentional, it just seems to be the way I am. I have done many of the thing things I wished to do with my life, although it usually took me longer to get there than it could have. There are still things I want to do with my life, and I have hope that time will allow me to find the way to get those things done. I do have regrets, can't imagine a life without them as we all make mistakes. One or two are quite serious regrets and were life changing situations. But, it's done now, and I can't go back, so I don't regret to the point of worrying about what might have been. And, yes, I am looking for someone to share the ride. And at this point in life, it is quite a glorious ride. | |
|
| The Road not Taken: Any Regrets? Still a Possibility or Some Lost Dream?
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:28:29 AM | I don't have any regrets, but occasionally a curiousity.
My life has been pretty good as it was,
but there were a few times along the way that choices were made.
What would have happened if I had taken that other job 30 yrs ago?
What if an old flame hadn't extinguished many yrs ago?
Can't change any of it,
don't regret any of it,
but occasionally wonder. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
