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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?      Home login  
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 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 1
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
My woman friend was dating someone who she felt she was falling in love with.
He said he loved her too and they were talking about a future together.

She was puzzled about why he was spending so many nights up late on the computer.
So she did some checking on his computer--she actually installed a keylogger on his computer--and found out that he was going to a certain live porn site every night for hours. She was able to tell he had some fantasies he was acting out with cam strippers, one of which was a fantasy that he is the stripper's "son", a little kid, and she-the cam stripper- pretends to be the mother, strips nude and wiggles around and masturbates in front of him, and he does the same with the stripper on cam.

She told him she knew all about what he was doing with cam strippers, named them, and told him exactly what he did with them. He denied doing it or knowing any of them and said that he never did any of it. With the keylogger on his computer she could see exactly what he had been doing since it sent a screenshot of his computer once a minute to her email complete with website address. She could even see his cam in the screenshots and what he was doing on cam with them.

She wonders if she should end it with him. She says the lying about it is as bad as the actual porn. I told her to end it.
 The1AndOnlyGaz
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 2
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:06:48 PM
I agree with you there ok some guys are going to be into porn but to not just be honest and upfront about what he was doing was just was wrong if he lied once he is more than likely to do so again like you said get rid.
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 3
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:22:41 PM
OP,
Let me get this straight. She installed a keylogger without his knowledge to gather keystroke and screenshot information. She got what she was looking for, he lied about it, and she questions if she should stay with him?

Both of them are messed up, in my opinion. Him for the endless porn...her for questioning if she should stay with this guy after she got the information she was looking for.

The answer is no.
And, I'm thinking there were enough red flags available that she didn't have to install invasive software on the computer.

Paul ;)
 icsvortex
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 4
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:55:32 PM
I would dump her for installing a keylogger in my computer. She might as well have gotten access to bank account details and the like while he was surfing the internet.
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 5
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:13:45 PM
Ok she install a keylogger on his comp? Without his knowledge? Isn't that a federal offense of some form?

she has to WONDER if she should break up with him?

And who is she to say he is a pervert, to each his own a long as everyone is over 18. Just because she didn't like it, doesn't make it wrong. but what she did was very wrong.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 6
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:49:27 PM
It's legal if she has authorized access to his computer which she did.

She needed to know what he was doing on the computer for hours every night.
She was thinking about sharing her life with this person. If it was ok why did
he hide it and lie about it?

If he had a drug addiction would it have been wrong to hire a private detective
to follow him around and find out about it?

Anyone can install a keylogger on any computer they have authorized access to, such as a parent installing one on a teenager's computer. She was allowed to use his computer any way she wanted.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 7
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:53:41 PM

When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?

Two words: buh-bye
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 8
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:55:09 PM
Were they living together?

And I still say she skirted the legal issues, how does one have authorization to install a keylogger? Unless the comp in question is for a company you work for, and or if you are the IT gurus that fix them.

That still does not explain why she though she had right to know whatthe hell he does on his comp in his own home on his off time, late at night, or dead noon for that matter.

She is trying to justify her actions by blaming his actions. 2 left turns make a U turn not a right turn.

She had doubts, that is when if she didn't get her answer she should have just walked instead of playing the justification clause.
 southbabe
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 9
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:00:30 PM
yeah really if she had to go through all that what the hell was she doing with him in the first place...
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 10
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:03:32 PM

why she though she had right to know whatthe hell he does on his comp in his own home

What if he was into child pornography? What if he was distributing porn himself, of himself, on the internet? Is he allowed to keep that a secret from her?

She felt she needed to know before she became further involved with him.
People have a right to find out what is going on with their significant other
when that person is hiding something.
 southbabe
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 11
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:25:42 PM
wow, this reminds me of a friend I had that use to check her mans boxers when he came home at night after being out with his friends.. its just crazy..

I really don't think she had the right to do that .. and if she had that much doubt about him and what he was doing she should have just walked away.. geese

Not that I like to promote violence in any way but, if some dude did that to me I would so kick his a*s .. then I would go back to watching my porn.. ffs
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 12
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:50:51 PM


why she though she had right to know whatthe hell he does on his comp in his own home


What if he was into child pornography? What if he was distributing porn himself, of himself, on the internet? Is he allowed to keep that a secret from her?

She felt she needed to know before she became further involved with him.
People have a right to find out what is going on with their significant other
when that person is hiding something.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, darlin'.
If'n the little filly had enough red flag type thoughts runnin' 'round inside her pretty lil' ol' head, she should have just skeedaddled. But that does not in any manner give her any rights to wiretap his personal computer. Yeah, I said wiretap. Personally, I think he has grounds to take her to court on some kind of tort (invasion of privacy, ID theft, etc) and have the county DA prosecute on similar grounds.

What I think of the wanna be stallion is immaterial - she had no legal relation with the fool in question, the computer was not hers, nor was the domicile in which the computer resided.

Now do I think either of these two imbeciles are relationship material -- uh, NO!

Now, hop up on that $50 saddle you're sportin' and think over the rights and wrongs of this lil' ol' case.

TK
{$50 saddle, I believe that would be from the same folks who gave us the now classic Yugo}
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 13
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:51:21 PM

I really don't think she had the right to do that .. and if she had that much doubt about him and what he was doing she should have just walked away.. geese

That says it all right there.

Paul ;)
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 14
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:45:21 PM
When someone gives another person full use of his computer,
he is giving up all rights to privacy on that computer.
What she did is legal. He gave her the right to do what she wanted with it.

It's no different than if he allows her full access to his financial information
and she discovers things about his finances that he didn't tell her.
 Trazzie
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 15
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:12:01 PM
HOPE THIS MAKES YOU FEEL LESS ALONE: Ok, first of all I have had experience in this area twice, God help me. The first was my husband of 27 years on a computer that was mostly used by him, but also by myself and our 16 yr old daughter. I knew he was acting weird and suspected it had to do with the computer. I warned him to stop because our child got on there sometimes and whatever it was, it had to stop. A year later, my daughter found pictures of her father on the computer doing disgusting sexual acts with farm animals (which God knows why is actually legal in the state where we live). To make it worse, there were classified ads asking people to video tape him doing these things. I broke up with him immediately. So trust me when I tell you :YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW SOMEONE! To ad insult to injury, I meet a nice man, we date for about 11 months, I move into his place and have access to his computer, pass codes etc. He leaves the laptop on one night logged in and I find he has his own porn addiction and had been looking for other women to fulfill his creepy fantasies the whole entire time we were dating. How many times must I go through this? We all have our sexual fantasies, but in our significant relationships, it is important to be honest about your wants, needs and level of satisfaction. DUMP HIM & WISE UP BEFORE YOU WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 16
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:41:36 PM
I'm so sorry this happened to you and your daughter. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for her in particular to find those pictures of her own father having sex with farm animals.

And to think, you were probably having sex sometimes right after he did it with them.
Too bad you didn't do what my friend did and find out what he was up to.
You could have saved your daughter from that traumatic sight.
 Trazzie
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 17
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:11:34 AM
Just glad I found out he was that much of a head case before wasting any more of my time and money on him. He told his family we broke up because he is gay and now he is living with a man to cover up his pack of lies - what a jerk. It is embarrassing too though knowing I was married to THAT whatever he is...
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 18
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:12:35 AM
WWTW26, you can attempt to justify what your 'friend' did all you want but its wrong...plain and simple, perhaps your attitude would change if your SO did the same thing to your computer/phone/whatever.




'She told him she knew all about what he was doing with cam strippers, named them, and told him exactly what he did with them.'

I think she truly must have been filled with understanding and empathy while she revealed her knowledge about his PRIVATE affairs, did she also tell him how she found out about it or was that one small and inconvenient truth?


Its what he's into, so what? You know your friend pretty well and since she isn't entirely turned off by this guy(as evidenced by her wondering what to do) has it crossed your mind that maybe there is a degree of 'kink' in your pal? Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 19
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:48:51 AM

Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)




Best,

ACP
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 20
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:23:08 AM

You know your friend pretty well and since she isn't entirely turned off by this guy(as evidenced by her wondering what to do) has it crossed your mind that maybe there is a degree of 'kink' in your pal? Maybe she should set up a web cam in the next room and play along ;-)

Kudos to 776877 for framing this properly. Setting aside the keylogger issue...She got whatever evidence she was looking for and she STILL questions if she should be with the man or not?

OP...if it really is your 'friend' we're talking about, I think she's as messed up in the head as the guy she's so horrified about.

Paul ;)
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 21
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:31:46 AM
Is everyone who hires a private detective to catch a cheating spouse
messed up in the head too?
 fortygeek
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 22
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:38:25 AM

Why is someone messed up in the head for finding out what's going on?

You're kidding, right? Yes...I caught the edit...the message is the same.

If she was SO worried about his affairs that she had to install a keylogger (or hire a private detective) to find the truth, then she should have no issues making a decision about where to go after that. Instead, she questions if she should stay with him or not?

That, my dear, is someone who has some issues of her own.

I'm done with this thread.

Paul ;)
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 23
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:56:44 AM
Yeah she should have just said "hmm I wonder why he is on the computer
all night every night and he won't tell me why. I will just leave him."
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 24
When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:44:44 AM
They are a good match. He is dishonest and so is she. He has stuff to hide and she is a sneaky snoop. They could play cops and robbers happily for years to come. Both agree that the ends justifies the means, and neither trusts the other. Two peas in a pod, they are.
 andyaa
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 25
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When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:54:55 AM
It’s not exactly my cup of tea but why are you referring to this guy as a pervert.

He acts out/role plays sex scenes. Maybe if there was more communication within the relationship SHE wouldn’t have to spy on him. If I thought my girlfriend was going through my stuff…phone, diary, private mail, pockets…I would be VERY upset. Why didn’t she just confront him? Maybe then the relationship could have moved on. She could have fulfilled his fantasies, or if she thought as you do it’s perverted, got him help.

Now I would suspect as there is zero trust and thinks he’s a perv, the relationship is finished.
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