| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:10:11 PM | "Chivalry" is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. With the tradition of the chivalric "knight in shining armor" traced back to the Arabs, with notable pre-Islamic figures like the Bedouin knight Antar The Lion.
I, myself am one of the last dying breed that have not forgotten the true meaning of chivalry. In the old days it meant the knight was to be gracious and gentle to all noble ladies. Today, it is interpreted as a courteous behavior, especially towards all women.
Do you still believe in the ideals of chivalry in an relationship? Or, do you think chivalry is demeaning and condescending? | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 6:23:37 PM | | Yes, I definitely believe in the ideals of chivalry in a relationship. I want my man to treat me with consideration, respect and love and I will do the same for him. I love having the door opened, my seat pulled out, helped on and off with my coat, him walking on the streetside of the sidewalk and standing up when I approach. My man is a complete gentleman and I love him even more for the gracious (excellent word for it, btw) way he treats me. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:32:55 PM |
Chivalry is dead, and women killed it
Chivalry is NOT dead, I'll always hold open doors, pull out chairs, send flowers just coz it's tuesday, and defend a womans honor. Even if I'm the one that winds up with a busted nose in the end.
V! | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:38:24 PM |
Do you still believe in the ideals of chivalry in an relationship? Or, do you think chivalry is demeaning and condescending?
I believe in it 100% but only if it's sincere. It's demeaning and condescending when it's done with resentment or indifference. I think many women have experienced both. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:39:09 PM | Can anyone take a frigging literature course around here and discern that the modern views of chivalry had little to do with what it was; nor does the chivalric code that we read about have much to do with the way life really was during this era. Women were chattel, they were regularly beaten or at the very least not noticed at all, the women on the losing side were raped by those fabulous knights, and if men fought for women's honor it had less to do with honoring women and more to do with another reason to go to war, whoohoo, than anything else.
Homer? A bunch of people got killed over a chick because two powerful men were playing tit for tat and using her as a pawn. Gawain, again, the knight is how honorable by going after his host's wife? Then we have the King Arthur debacle? None of this behavior would I wish to be modeled by any of the men I know.
Chivalry is not important to me at all. Someone who behaves as a gentleman and is kind and courteous and treats me with respect, that is something I value. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:41:32 PM | Chivalry is a nice concept that I truly wished more men practiced these days.
Not so much in the opening of doors, but in the idea that a man"s word is his bond.
So that when they say something they mean it and follow through on what they say.
Chivalry goes hand in hand with intregrity. Mean what you say say what you mean.
It is nice though to be treated with respect and consideration.
But in all fairness the concept of saying what you mean and mean what you say can be applied to woman too. As the are those who play games and lack intregrity by doing so!
AWR | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:46:15 PM | | I don't mind being treated like a lady by the men I date. Actually, I kind of like it. On the other hand, I don't like it if he gets all pi$$y because I happened to open a door for myself (my last short [thankfully] termed relationship had one of those critters). I do like walking hand in hand or with the guys hand on the small of my back. I do like it if he opens the passenger side door of the car for me, etc. If it's true (and I think she may be right) that it was celebate, then I'm not for that at all! | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:08:50 PM |
Can anyone take a frigging literature course around here and discern that the modern views of chivalry had little to do with what it was; nor does the chivalric code that we read about have much to do with the way life really was during this era. Women were chattel, they were regularly beaten or at the very least not noticed at all, the women on the losing side were raped by those fabulous knights, and if men fought for women's honor it had less to do with honoring women and more to do with another reason to go to war, whoohoo, than anything else.
Ive brought that up several times before. The way people view the Hollywood romanticized version today verses how life actually was for mid-evil women back then. They might show chivalry when appropriate, but then again are expected to beat them if they misbehave in public.
So if you want to talk about chivalry, you need to talk about the bad that came along with it.
I think its more important to be well mannered and treat people well. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:09:15 PM | | Right cnoellf, if it's not taken to the extreme. That wouldn't feel sincere or realistic. I can't help opening my own car door when we get home, and things like that, I won't sit there waiting for the man to open it. (although I've had men who ordered me to and I wasn't offended). I can't live my life worrying about stuff like that. But if someone's a gentleman it's noticed as well. I think also, in the beginning, when first getting to know someone, little acts of chivalry, so to speak, speak volumes, because they just make a positive impression. They may or may not be acts that are expected to last forever, but there's nothing wrong with them per se if done out of sincerity and good intention. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:14:16 PM | Good manners, treating others with kindness, holding and opening doors, offering your seat to a person who needs it more than you, smiling at people...that's what's important to me.
Personally, I hear the word chivalry and I can't help but cringe - the very concept that anyone should treat or be treated differently because of their gender is offensive to me.
Both my children (both girls) were raised to hold and open doors for everyone and they would automatically offer their seats to any adult if there was no more seating available on the bus or at a doctor's office ....that's just plain good manners (and common sense) in my opinion.
And it has nothing to do with the old (and very tired) let's blame everything on feminism nor did I personally (help) kill something that to me was dead a long time ago.
My parents are in their late eighties (believe me - no feminist "agenda" there) and they raised us to treat everyone, man or woman, equally. There was none (and I mean NONE) of that man/woman/girl/boy/feminism/chivalry/blah blah blah bullshyte at our house...you were a human being and you were taught (and expected) to act like one. Period.
Or, do you think chivalry is demeaning and condescending?
Well, yeah...it's both, and to both genders (in my opinion)...I'm not special, delicate, or helpless - I just want to be treated as your fellow man, with respect and dignity, nothing more, nothing less.
JMO
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:19:10 PM | Since it seems that some are getting quite technical with what the term 'chivalry' actually means....
I think the standard viewpoint is that it means showing respect, manners and consideration.
Personally, I could care less about the historical perspective, as that is not the idea that comes to mind when most people hear the word. It's all in the context....
To answer the question, yes, I value chivalry in a relationship. I want to be treated special and I love the attention--I'll admit it. Any man knows that if he makes his lady happy--he will reap the benefits too. Win-win situation  | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:19:55 PM | | I'm not sure what the difference is between courtesy, manners and chivalry. If chivalry has anything to do with believing anyone is inferior of course I don't subscribe to that. I do believe in some old-fashioned manners and courtesies, I think throughout my 10-year marriage my husband managed to do that at least when we were on a date night out, if not at home, most of the time. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:26:23 PM | | I absolutely expect to be treated with honor and respect, exactly as I would treat anyone I would meet....and it has never been a problem with anyone I HAVE met, so to those who proclaim that men's manners have become extinct....you've just met the wrong ones :) | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:29:54 PM | Actually what others have said about Knights of old is true. They were Knights because they were merciless warriors, not because they pushed ladies chairs in.
They were essentially raping, murderous heathens in point of fact. Many of them were actually mercenaries with no sense of moral conduct at all.
By all accounts, King Arthur never even existed, nor did his famous Knights.
But I like the idealized depiction of Knights, and I certainly cleave to chivalry as we have come to know it today.
~Justin | |
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