| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:17:40 AM | | I'm just wondering because I just got an account here and was talking to a women who finally responded to my first message. Everything was going great and she finally asked me if I wanted to me. We exchanged phone numbers and were talking for a bit on the phone because I wanted to get know her just a little bit more before actually meeting her face to face. I just got a message today from telling me she met some other guy on here and they were talking while we were at the same time. Is it worth having an account here ? I'm tired of games and if I'm talking to someone here it's only them who I'm messaging no one else. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:24:55 AM | Some people, including me, only date one person at a time.
Some people date several people at once. I don't really like dating people who are dating others, because I'm not much for playing the sorts of games you have to play to come out ahead most of the time. Nothing wrong with it, it's just not my bag.
However, she should have told you, at least, that she was seeing other people if it had at least gotten to the phone stage. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:25:56 AM | That's not games dude. better get used to it. You'd better believe girls on here are talking to LOTS of different guys at the same time. It's up to you to outshine the rest. If you can't deal with that, then yeah, delete your account.
Don't blame her. A couple of emails and a phone call don't equate to shackles. She was couteous enough to email you letting you know what was going on. Just thank her for her time and move on.
~Justin | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:31:08 AM | | how was she playing a game with you did she say i will not message anyone else or i will not talk to someone else get a grip you were not in a committed relationship with the said female ya'll were talking. is there rule some where that says if talking to you can not speak to anyone else if you that great all the women on pof should get in line to talk to you | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:37:48 AM | Since when do messages on pof equal dating??? Until you have met face to face and decide to date exclusively (both parties in agreement) it is not a relationship is it? I am a one man woman however conversations in pof does not mean dating anyone else. One could have friends that they talk to in here.
There is an important factor here and that is trust. This is a HUGE thing that has to be in any relationship. My question to you is were you going to meet her face to face and if so what was you waiting for? Perhaps if you meet her face to face and all is good she would not be talking to anyone else as in relationship or dating. Just a thought | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:40:58 AM | Hmm... I don't think it's realistic to expect to be in an exclusive type of relationship until things get pretty serious, and certainly not before you've even met...
As in the 'real' world, I'd say it's the norm for people to socialise with others until they meet the 'right' person.
I don't consider chatting to someone on the internet or on the phone "dating." That comes when you've met. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:50:18 AM | | I'm not here to play games or nothing but thanks for the positive responses. At least she told me she met someone before things got to the next level. It was respectful for her telling me but I would of liked at a chance for us to meet because she's not really dating the guy who she just met. I like to take my time with women. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:52:45 AM | Well, OP, the thing with moving slowly... is someone else may move faster.
I wouldn't sweat an email exchange as if you were going steady, but if you ARE interested and want to meet someone make that suggestion as early as you can. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:57:27 AM | How many messages do POF women get a day ?
contrary to what "Some" say - Most of us don't get numerous messages a day. In fact .. somedays .. nadda.. Most messages I ever got in one day was 18 .. only 1 was from a guy .. and all he said was "Hey babe .. wanna chat?" ..
I answered 17 messages that day..
patience is a virtue
confidence is attractive
worrying about some chick who's Not Into You = waste of time.. better to put your energies on those who 'suit you' .. and vice versa..
Beauty of a day! Hope you're enjoying it!
VVV seeing women texting guys when there are 'other' guys "all over the place" .. OP!! Cut it out! .. You're gonna assume yourself right into self destruction!! lol .. First for all you know these women are texting each other, their mom or maybe some are just pretending to text cuz they think it looks cool .. then there are those who are genuinely addicted to texting .. bottom line - DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!! .. The one who is right for you won't trigger all that insecurity .. unless you nurture your insecurity .. then it won't matter who is right in front of you .. you won't see them..
the garden you water is the one that grows.. you gotta pay more attention to the people and things that please you .. k ..
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:00:29 PM | | Ya snooze, ya lose OP. Its not game playing. I only date one man at a time, but while it is just in the talking stages or just a date or two.....I still will be in contact with others. I usually can tell after the first or second date if I am interested. If I am, then I don't keep in contact with others. Its just the way dating is. Step up your pace! | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:06:25 PM | I think you have to realize that pursuing the possibility of a future date and/or relationship online does not imply that you are the only game in town. You could very well be, but not necessarily. And if you take your time - as another poster said, someone else may very well move in quicker.
I think it's important to remember that often you are corresponding and then poof - nothing, they are gone...people learn not to "put their eggs in one basket" if you will...
Dating is just that (and IMing, emailing and talking on the phone doesn't even reach that level)...a relationship is another thing altogether.
No games at all, just keeping your options open, until you at least meet and see if there's even the possibility of something developing. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:12:01 PM | I rarely have real great chemistry when I actually meet guys, even if we've hit it off by email or on the phone. There's just something that's not tangible, that's either there or not and that you can only tell in person.
So, if you didn't want to go ahead and see if that something was there, then you can't blame her for meeting others.
Now, if you had gone ahead and met her and found out that , yes, you both really clicked, then it'd been a different story possibly. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:12:25 PM | | duh I wasn't sweating over this girl. I'm not use to this whole text and e-mail thing I'm just doing it because women like it. Even when I'm at the bar I see all these girls texting men when there are guys right infront of their faces lol | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:15:57 PM | | At least she told you. Chatting in e mails does not constitute a relationship. Meeting and "clicking" is what it means. For me, I get a lot of emails...10 to 30 or so...do I pay attention to them? Not all. Half the time they are lame and stupid like "how are you" or "what are you doing". It takes a lot to get into my space. I can somewhat tell who will interest me or not. Not many do. But if one does, I will get to know him, meet and I am honest with anyone else I may be speaking too at the time. You will need thick skin and patience on here. Trust me, it gets worse. Wait until you meet half these people and they are like 80 pounds heavier than they look (old pics), are married, or are flat out liars...lmfao Just meet as soon as possible and do not take too much time. To me that is time wasted. Not everyone is looking for e mail buddies. I know I am not. However I have made really good friends here, that I DO e mail back and forth with all the time. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:17:32 PM | | Bad luck...she chose someone else and not you. Maybe you didn't impress her enough to keep her attention. So stop whinning and keep fishing, plenty more fish in the pond. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:19:31 PM | It is not uncommon for both women AND men to communicate with multiple persons. Before I became seriously involved with my man, I was chatting and speaking on the phone with 5 or 6 wonderful men. I wasn't dating them, just getting to know them online and on the phone. Paul was the one who captured my attention and my heart, and when it started becoming serious, I let all the other men know. They were all very gracious and wished us the best. I'm still in contact with some of them as friends.
Emailing and phoning someone doesn't restrict them from meeting others. That's a choice each person has to make for themselves. She was honest and upfront with you that she had met someone who interested her. She sounds like a class act to me. This man was smart enough to realize that if he let grass grow under his feet, someone else may beat him to her, so he made his move. Too bad you didn't realize the same thing. Unless there is a very special connection between the two of you that has formed while emailing and phoning, you run the risk of losing out.
She didn't play you. She wanted to meet someone who was serious and the other man didn't hesitate. For all she knew, you could be one of those 'online only' guys who never actually intend to meet a woman in person. There are many of them out there (as well as women who do the same thing) unfortunately.
I would suggest that you write her back, wish her the very best of luck and tell her that if things don't work out with this other man, you would love to schedule a meet with her. That way you are still in the running. Good luck! | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:19:39 PM | OP this is the technology era where nothing goes slow anymore including online dating. As others have said, there was no games played and she didn't mislead you in any way. You simply have different beliefs and there is nothing wrong with that... just understand that just because someone is talking to someone doesn't necessarily mean they automatically quit talking to anyone else. Talk is just that... talk. No commitments, no nothing. It's no different than standing in a room full of people and talking to a small group of folks. Obviously the other fellow grabbed her attention more... it happens. Why limit yourself to talking to only one person? Unless you start dating and have that "exclusive relationship" talk, it's all free game, ya know?
Better luck next time and don't be surprised if your next contact is talking to others as well. It's all part of today's dating world. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:24:02 PM | | Many people will talk to more than 1 person at the same time. Having some email / phone conversations ( or even going out on a few dates ) doesn't equal an exclusive relationship. At least she had courtesy to tell you that instead of doing the infamous "disappearing act". | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:28:07 PM | | If they get your email and someone else's, you lose. It's hopeless and nothing can be done about it. Your only chance is to wait for all the other men to get a woman and then if one is left over, try her. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:29:41 PM | When its just online chats and meets I don't consider anything exclusive yet. And of course, I wouldn't expect a guy to be chatting w/ me exclusively either when we hardly have anything established yet. It'd be kinda silly IMHO to put your eggs all in one basket when nothing is even concrete.
Like many have already pointed out -- at least she was honest w/ you about it. I don't think that's misleading. Its being straight up and upfront. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:35:59 PM |
I just got a message today from telling me she met some other guy on here and they were talking while we were at the same time/
You snooze, you lose. Either get used to yakking online less or get used to other guys yanking the carpet out from under you. Be decisive. Is it going to kill you to meet a woman in person who isn't ``the one?''
Is it worth having an account here ?
Only if you don't twiddle your thumbs. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:36:05 PM | | Once again I really hope you read my post responses we didn't have a connection off the bat but I did want to at least get to know her after she told me if she wanted to meet. Yeah the dude beat me to her and I respect her for telling me. I did message her back telling her I was glad she met someone nice blah blah blah. I was also glad she was classy about it so no feelings were hurt. I'm just not sure if I want to message another person and the same thing might happen over and over again. I don't judge on a persons looks as well. My friend is in a 7 year relationship and his girlfriend is only attracted to him but their personalities are beginning to derail their relationship. So I'm just being a little cautious and don't want to jump into anything to soon. | |
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| How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:42:17 PM | If you take only one thing out of this whole thread OP, is this .... strike while the iron is hot (or a million and a half other cliches that are appropriate).
What happened to you happens all the time, online and in real life. If you are interested in meeting someone, meet as soon as you can. Don't come across as desperate, but let the other person know that it is hard to develope a repore with someone over emails. Simply ask to set up a very low key, in a public place face to face. Oh, and there is nothing saying YOU can't talk to more than one person either. All you are doing is talking. :)
Good luck OP !
So I'm just being a little cautious and don't want to jump into anything to soon.
Dude, your only meeting them, it's not like your asking for their hand in marriage. Most times meeting a person will help sort out your doubts. | |
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