The Six Million Dollar Man... and the economy Free Dating, Singles and Personals

The Six Million Dollar Man... and the economy Posted: 6/18/2009 3:57:24 PM
Sometimes my mind wanders.... and I was just wondering... does anyone here remember the show The Six Million Dollar Man? I do. I was just wondering... what would have happened to the six million dollar man if his department were to have experienced budget cuts due to the recession... right before they ordered all the parts needed for his bionic limbs. Well first... I think he would have turned into the four million dollar man... simply because since the economy is down by about 1/3... so it's logical to assume that there would have been a 1/3 cut to his budget.... hence... six million turns into FOUR million. Now can you imagine if Steve Austin's Department had their budget cut right before ordering all the bionic parts? Now why does a former astronaut need to do crime fighting anyway? Can't we lower expectations and instead have him take a job as a security guard or a desk clerk in a condo? And do all the replacement parts need to be so realistic? For example... his new right eye... can't we just use a $60 Webcam instead? As for his legs and arm... surely some surplus equipment from a closed car factory could do the trick. It might him look a bit 'Terminator'... but that's alright as long as we come in under budget... Better than having him walk around, half-assembled, waiting until next year for parts because they ran out of budget... And remember how he lost his legs, right arm, and his eye in a really nasty crash? I saw the crash at the beginning of every episode. Now if he lost his legs, then certainly with it dangling out there, wouldn't he lost his P3nis too? They never mentioned if his Penis survived... Would a replacement have survived the budget cuts? Oh and another thing... remember how Steve Austin could run really really fast? That was due to the advanced robotics. But I don't think that he'd be able to run fast with the cheaper leftovers. But the consequence of that would be that some bad guys got away because he couldn't run fast enough with the cheap metal rods and U-Joints they had to use after the budget cuts. So how to get more speed at next to no cost? So a solution would have to be found that fit the budget... A transmission... like what you'd find in a car. That would result in more gears... giving good low speed acceleration but a higher top speed. Unfortunately there wouldn't be much budget left, so a USED transmission from a junkyard would have to be used... something like a GM TurboHydramatic 400. And of course it would have to be attached to his ass... after all, where else is it gonna go? And from there, Steve Austin's life would go down hill because it would be all about how he can't pick up chicks anymore since he got the transmission stuck on his ass... which caused him to lose his 'game'... which got him fired from his job. And at that point, his only options were to either join the Circus or become a Carnie...