| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:47:34 PM | Going thru alot of crap right now and so tired of being lonely. I want so badly for a man to hold me. Ive been divorced for 7 years and still struggling with loving him and wishing things could be different between us. Ive dated several men but tend to attract the ones who dont have jobs or a car, or just want sex. Why??
My qualifications are not that difficult....gotta like kids. have a job,car and live on his own and honest. Why cant I find him???????
Im always the nice chic who goes outta my way for men and then end up hurt. Ive been on every online dating and no luck......when will this change? | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/18/2009 9:00:03 PM | | I'm here, Cindy! What do you look like (let's see a picture) and where are you from? | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/18/2009 10:28:14 PM | | You probably attract the wrong kind of guy because you sound like you don't have a lot of self-esteem and you don't think you're worthy. Also, you are still hung up on your ex. I don't understand that one at all. I am so over my ex, but I don't date either. Actually I almost think it's too much work now at my age. I think I'm destined to be single. Things will change when you finally get over your ex. Maybe these guys pick up on the fact that you aren't over him? Anyways, there's more to life than dating, believe me. I was walking my dog the other day and my neighbor was screaming at the the top of his lungs at his wife, it sounded abusive. He wasn't speaking English but I could tell he was angry. It brought back horrible memories for me when I was being abused. All I could think of at that moment was that I was glad that I was single and didn't have to live in fear anymore. Good luck honey. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:11:30 PM | | because you ask for the wrong things, your putting icing where the cake should be. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:17:15 PM | msg 3 hit the nail on the head.
No man with any self-esteem is going to deal with someone who haven't gotten over her ex. In fact that's one my "requirements" - if you're not over your past / ex don't message me, I want no part of it.
You need to get over your past and learn to be happy with yourself first and foremost. Once you're at that point - then worry about meeting someone. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:49:54 AM | Cindy, you said you go out of your way for the guy. Why don't you let him go out their way for you?.. You settle, you feel sorry for every loser that comes along and gives you a sob story. You can't fix them and they are just going to bring you down. STOP IT NOW!!!! stop feeling sorry for youself and do something about your life... demand more for yourself.. don't you think you are worth it?...... get up off your knees and hold your head up high and go after the kind of man you want.. stop looking in the gutter. All you find in there are rats!!! Cindy, if you are going to do bad..do it by yourself.....There are worse things then being alone.......I know what lonely is. It is crying yourself to sleep everynight and smiling at your family and friends to make them think you are alright. You would die for someone to hold you in their arms and mean it. To have someone walk thu the door and kiss you. to have him hold you in the middle of the night and to know when tomorrow comes, you won't be alone. You will have someone to pick you up when you fall, to wipe the tears out of your eyes or just hold your hand when you walk down a road...someone you can tell a secret to..someone to tell jokes with..someone to wash your back, have him slip the gown off your shoulders and kiss your bare skin..just to smell him..yes lonely hurts..willit ever go away..I pray so...... My husband was killed...am I looking?... yes...do I know how> I am not sure......so hang in there Cindy..you are not alone
God Bless you
PAT | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:14:08 AM | well!you need to practice the secret and your life will change for ever..go to youtube
robert | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:15:44 AM | | so you are saying a man not having much is being in the gutter, well maybe his body but not always his heart. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/19/2009 5:39:32 AM | | i have tryed many times to listen to a ladys problems about her ex, but you know after a while i get the feeling i'am not getting anywhere with her and move on. ladies men donot want to hear about your exs, just as women don't want to hear about mens exs. not trying to be mean or anything, but it's the truth. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:47:16 AM | WAHHHHHH 
 I know honey it's lonely and cold out there... | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:04:09 AM | | I understand everyone's pain. does anyone understand mine as well?? | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:22:52 PM | | Thanks everyone for your support.... For the record, i do not talk about my ex to anyone I date. I have a descent life, a great job and wonderful kids, I just want someone special to share it with... | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:36:42 PM | | Stop dating. You are relying on men to make you happy. This is, with all due respect, a stupid thing to do. If you rely on other people for happiness then you will be forever disappointed. Sure, you will have happy times but they won't last. You need to figure out how to enjoy your life and be happy while you are single. That way you won't be miserable whenever there's not a guy around. And if you do end up in a good relationship then you will be happier and your relationship will be more successful because you will not be relying on the guy to keep you happy all the time. Another thing, don't be too nice to guys, it won't get you anywhere. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:56:34 PM | My qualifications are not that difficult....gotta like kids. have a job,car and live on his own and honest. Why cant I find him???????
Im always the nice chic who goes outta my way for men and then end up hurt. Ive been on every online dating and no luck......when will this change?
When you find out what you really want/need by looking within yourself.
You will only attract what you are giving out, and right now, with respect, it seems to be loneliness, need and lack of self-esteem. You can change all this, but it starts with you and your evaluation of what's going on in your life, what your goals are etc and making the necessary adjustments.
Good luck! | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:54:31 PM | attraction is never a choice....but relationships happen sometimes without realizing it,thru common interests ,hobbies,workplace etc. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:44:24 AM | | Message 3 has got it so right. Forget your ex , and move on . | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:52:34 AM | I'm not lonely, but I don't want to be alone forever. Neither do I want to be with the wrong person again forever either. I've started working on my self-esteem and communication issues because those are what have messed me up in relationships past. I never seem to get what I want in the relationship, so eventually I give it up because I don't want to "change" anyone and so they go on to the next woman and give her everything. Why? Because she probably wouldn't settle for less than she wanted. I don't know, but I spent so many years in a miserable marriage that I won't do that again.
You'll find some good advice in these forums and references to some great self-help books. Try to keep yourself busy working on you. I know it's not easy. Keeping communication to a minimum with your ex is a helpful way to get over him (that's if you have kids). If you don't have kids with him, don't communicate with/see him at all. | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:24:03 AM | | hi im tired of being lonley too, maybe your a gold digger , all you want is a mans money , why do we have to have a job or a car , why cant we just be us, plus you still love him and it would only be a rebound on your part, patrick | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 2:12:44 PM | Message #13 is spot on. Who you attract is a reflection of who you are. You are lonely, desperate, suffering from low self-esteem and distracted by the ghosts of past loves. You are attracting men who are similarly desperate (don't have jobs or cars) and low in self-esteem (just want sex). You need to get right with yourself and love the life you have before you can add someone else into it.
That being said, I also feel incredibly lonely at times. But so far not enough to fill that "missing" feeling with just any ol' body. I can admit that I haven't been mentally ready for the "right man" to appear in my life, and therefore, he hasn't. When he does, I'll be ready.
And Lonelytillloved, I am not suggesting that men who don't have jobs or cars are losers, but the OP is apparently encountering some who are. :) | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 2:40:15 PM | Cindy,
Keep your head up high. It sounds like you are still hung up over your ex and in order for you to move on .. that means you have to let him go. I just got out of a 6 year relationship and we were friends for a while beacuse that was the only way i would have had comfort with the breakup. I noticed it would hurt me more talking to him everyday and with me dating again.. comparing them to my ex.. things will never be like you and your ex had it.. i learned that.. clear your mind and let someone in who deserves the real you..
I have not met anyone on this site yet.. but am praying someday i would find someone to make me happy again.. but in the mean time i am finding myself everyday.. and maybe your should do the same..
True love is blind.. you never know when or how you are going to meet the person of your dreams.. Good luck! | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:11:45 PM | CindyLPTA44: Let me say first that I can't stand being lonely myself. Many people here are giving you good advice, but let me tell you something, you have to spend some time and try to figure out what it is you really want. Someone earlier mentioned "The Secret" or books on the "Law of Attraction". Its a GREAT way to start! Make a list of all the things you don't want in a man and then make a list replacing with what you don't want with what you DO WANT.
Its also important for you to spend time with people. The antidote to loneliness is being with people. Forget about all the crappola regarding self-esteem. You are a very worthy woman. You deserve to be held by a man and for a man to show you love. Focus on those aspects. Don't listen to the crappola about being desperate either. Guess what? Everyone here on POF is desperate in one way or the other, or they wouldn't be here. We are all vulnerable and we are all mortal. Life is short. Start today by treating yourself better. Maybe join a GYM, hire a Personal Trainer, thats what I did. Wear a smile at all times! I have a good feeling about you! Please sweetheart....as someone else mentioned.."KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!" I am looking forward to you coming back on here in the near future and letting us know of your new Beau! He's out there! Make him find you! Or you go find him! As Mariah Carey sings "Make it Happen"
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:40:07 PM | Cindy, I can totally relate. You have to be strong. I always tell my friends... I'd rather be alone and lonely but Happy then with someone and miserable. Ofcourse, it would be wonderful to meet the right person to be with and have it all! Look at where you are meeting these guys.... Maybe online isn't the place to meet them for you. Maybe you need to be volunteering for the kids school. Go online to meetup dot com and see if there are any groups that interest you and any of your single friends. Find a different way to attract men that you will know you're going to be closer to meeting the ones that meet your criteria.
You also need to figure out how to let your ex go..... You won't have room in your heart for someone new until you do! | |
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| tired of being lonely
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:43:27 PM | | Well in this economy it's tough to find a man with a good job... And if he does have a good job, he thinks himself to be worth more than gold and takes advantage of women. Actually, what you're doing wrong is being honest in your profile. Put something like, just want wild sex... The men with the good jobs will jump all over it. More than likely, he'll be some timid accountant that hasn't had good sex in decades and he'll fall in love with you and your problem will be solved. A nickel's worth of free advice. Tell them what they want to hear and then do whatever you want. That's how you land a good man. They love liars. | |
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