| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/18/2009 9:10:18 PM | I know some ladies say they get tons of emails but, it just seems rude to me when a lady to whom I have sent a message and have taken the time to read her profile does not respond.
I am not foolish enough to think that all the ladies I contacted would find me compatible with them. There are differnt body types and personalities types for everyone....all I ask is a quick note saying that she is not interested...it only seems fair??
Am I off base here or what? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:52:23 PM | well if you had done a thread search you would have found your answer
this question has been asked so many times
and i wont be surprised if it gets deleted
cheers  and happy  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:31:59 AM | Well telemonster, your probably correct, but in my opinion there are never enough times in a day for people to ask about politeness.
If we don't ask for the new opinions of the world and just keep listening to the old thread people of the worlds opinions we will never educate ourselves on what is the NEW politically polite. Change cannot be made in this dating world, if you only listen to Old Thread People.
As a somewhat Old but New Thread Person, (NTP) my humble but soon to be deleted opinion, is that it is rude to not respond to an email that has been thoughtfully and compassionately composed by a suitable suitor of your particular brand or make.
Anything other than this arriving in your mailbox can be considered as Spam and a response is not necessary and you would not be considered to be a rude person.
NTP | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 5:11:00 AM |
it is rude to not respond to an email that has been thoughtfully and compassionately composed by a suitable suitor of your particular brand or make.
unfortunately, those are as rare as snowflakes in July on a beach in Texas!
99% of the oh so copious emails that women supposedly received (*snork*) are along the variety of:
wanna chat?
what's up?
in other words, spam, as my fellow member of the bovine persuasion pointed out!
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:08:00 AM |
unfortunately, those are as rare as snowflakes in July on a beach in Texas
Do you think the women on this site are better quality than the men ? I am picturing you with your nose up in the air.
If a guy said something similer, he would be called names and thought of as a jerk. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:38:04 AM | In defense of my Bovine friend.....I concur that the majority of supposed 'emails' we women receive are along the variety of:
Wanna Chat?
What's up?
What are you looking for?
Are you open to a f*ck Buddy?
Wanna meet?
So, not to be rude, but how does one respond "politley" to that?
Wanna Chat?........ Sorry there is no chat function on this site anymore and no, you are not getting my msn!
What's up?........I am sure you will say my nose is up in the air if I say I am not interested in persuing that line of opening conversation.
What are you looking for? ........... Thought that was what a profile was for??????????
Are you open to a f*ck buddy? ............ again, see above /\/\/\
Wanna meet? ................. Ah, who are you? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:19:00 PM | The other thing (particularly women) get when they respond with a "Thanks but no thanks," no matter how polite, is either begging or b1tching. Why am I not good enough? Do you think you're too good for me?
Momma taught me that if you have nothing nice to say then shut the hell up. Telling someone you're not interested, no matter how politely you phrase it, is not particularly nice. So I usually don't bother unless the mail obviously had some thought put into it. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:29:23 PM | | hey i totally can relate to the poster of this forum cause it happens to me all the time.. i somethink why the hell am i even on the site....... i only respond to someone who is the around the same age to me and if i dont think we would click i message them and tell them.. i thinks it rude.. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:04:35 PM | I respond to everything - even the crazy people!  It is rude not to answer any and all mail! I have been taught to be polite!  It never hurts to be nice!  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:46:13 PM | I find this topic is not as simple as it seems to be for some. It may be considered rude not responding to a message for some people. On the other hand, there are many, many complaints about those who didn't take the responses too well.
In other words, how well are the people behaved if they don't get the response they were expecting, or wanting? There are many threads indicating that some people don't behave well when being rejected. So, in truth, it's a catch-22.
I would rather not hear from a person if they are not interested in chatting. Afterall, what are you going to reply when recieving a, "Not interested" response? I think you're being a desperate gfool to respond to a "Not interested" message. Check your sent mail and if it reads "Unread/Deleted" or "Read Deleted" leave it alone... unless you're starved for negative (or any kind of) attention. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/19/2009 5:22:56 PM | I did not respond to an email......he said I was pretty, but I don't have a pic on this site yet...made me kind of wonder how sincere this fella was. I suppose I could have played along and thanked him for his compliment...in advance of seeing what I looked like.
I do not take offense to anything, when it comes to email on a dating site. I either respond or delete....and I feel no pangs of guilt after the fact. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:14:36 AM | First off thanks for everyones response,
secondly I was unaware of the thread search...this was my first fourm post.
In regards to the topic at hand I have never sent a "how you doin''" note to anyone lol, but I can see how that can get some ladies backs up, however we are all individuals and should be treated as such.
If and person can not take a simple thanks but no thanks then they fit into the "unfit to date" section. Treating each other with respect on here should be the same as when we interact in person, just becasue we have a buffer called a computer screen doesnt make it OK to treat others poorly | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:56:48 AM |
If and person can not take a simple thanks but no thanks then they fit into the "unfit to date" section.
people who make judgments like this also fall into the "unfit to date section".
VainH hit the nail on the head for the reason why *I* don't respond to every email i get.
and tell me WHY in the name of all that's holy should i give a nano-second of consideration to some guy who's opening gambit is
hey, baby, wanna ****????
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:08:11 AM | ^^^^^
Why do you have 2 of these angry emoticons showing ? You get angry over a response here ?? Don't blame men on this site for the kind of mail you get. You get what you deserve. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:27:45 PM | This is a free dating site..what do people expect, I mean really, yes I think it is rude to not respond to an email, but then again, who cares?!
Welcome to the World Wide Web, where we can be who ever we want to be and if rude it is, so be it!
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:15:03 PM | well devine I'm not sure it makes me unfit to date if I think thoose who aren't mature enought to deal with a polite rejection are unfit to date.
you do however seem to have a high level of hostility....when you give out a postive vibe it returns to you , and sadly negative feelings sent out are also returned
now about the message I send that are not reponded to, none of them are as thoughtless as "hey babe wanna #%^*" or any other rude mail...as said above rudenss is met with neagtive feelings from the person who received the note, emails like that dont deserve a response | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:19:44 PM | | At the end of the day there is nothing you can do. Some people are jerks and don't want to give you even a moment of your time. Every message I write is particularly well written, pointing out obvious similarities in interests between myself and whoever I message and just generally being polite. I am not some prick who thinks with the head between his legs, I actually have a brain and a little thing called respect for the opposite gender. I know a lot of women on here complain about guys being jerks/***holes/dicks/whatever yet when a genuinely honest guy comes along and says hello, he gets kicked in the nuts and is completely ignored. If women want me to be a jerk to them, then they will have to look elsewhere, I am not a jerk to those of the opposite gender and I don't treat them like garbage. | |
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RMH_84
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Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 21 | |
| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:05:46 AM | | i think it is rude - but you've got to do your part! Make your message at least 2 sentences long. I allways reply, and have never once gotten a nasty reply to me "not interested, good luck" message. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:36:54 PM | Hi all,
I agree with all of you who said that it is rude. I have sent out very nice letters to some of the people on POF and found that they didn't respond. I always respond and think it is a nice thing to do even if it is a thanks but no thanks.
When this happens I just shrug my shoulders and keep looking. for me the glass is always half full not half empty.
The right person may be on this site or maybe just round the next aisle in the supermarket. You never know, it is like pasta, if you throw enough against the wall sooner or later something will stick.
Keep smiling everyone, because smiles ARE contagious.  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:36:38 PM | Well come on here, let's just be practical for one quick second. Never at any point does someone telling you;
"Hey there fellow POF'er, despite your good qualities, polite interest, appropriate pictures, and bravery for emailing me first, I do not find you worthy, as a person, for me to consider, all the best" feel SUPER AWESOME, helpful, educational, or useful, at all people.
I'm a very blunt and practical person, and despite being super verbose on the forums, I NEVER say anything that isn't helpful, if I don't have to.
If I get an email from a person I'm not interested in (90% of my emails are of the "hey what's up" or "wanna screw?" variety, so yea, those) I just leave it "read". I don't feel the need to point out our incompatibility as I don't think they're sitting there wondering about it either. Personally, I'm pretty sensitive, and if I put out an email and it was met with a "thanks but no thanks" I'd feel it needlessly hurtful and would have rather had no response at all.
SO that means at the end of the day, some people want any response, negative or not, and some people don't. That's not manners people, that is preference. The people who don't want a response, probably much like myself, wonder why the rest of you need it so clearly spelled out for you.
When I get an email from the a-typical nice guy, though it may be longer, better written and conveying some sincere sort of interest, I've found from experience, those folks don't really enjoy rejection either! Imagine! Also, in my experience, I find the people preoccupied with a response on every email, negative or not, to be they type to further email you if you reject them, with the dreaded nasty reaction to your rejection, or begging for more consideration, further confirming why you ignored their email in the first place.
So let's just review here....NOBODY ENJOYS BEING REJECTED.
I think if you read a profile on here and really want to make an impression on that person, you're going to put a lot of effort to convey a match between the two of you in your email, a reason to move forward, for them to reach back, and if you're unsuccessful, assume it by their silence.
Waiting around for a "thanks but no thanks" response seems like a waste of time, and to spend the time to think it rude means you've already decided that persons manners don't match your own and therefore, you're not so hot for them now are you?
Alright then, so on the 50 millionth go on this topic, are we clear now? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:32:26 AM | No.
Other posters have stated you get what you give, and I agree.
If a guy sends me a horribly mashed out attempt, that obviously hasn't read my profile or is using filler to get to the minimum message requirements, the only response will be read/deleted. I do not owe him the effort of a reply, no more than a guy that's screaming something rude from a passing car.
If they have taken the time to read my effort, and have put forth an effort, I will reply in kind.
Remember people... you can't make them live up to your standards | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:00:04 AM | I reply to everyone of my emails and I would definitely appreciate if someone responded to mine even if it was only to say that she wasn't interested. I always read the other persons profile and take the time to write something to break the ice, so I feel that I have put an effort into meeting this person.Problem is that, even if I always try to write something decent, I really don't think that the first message is something that is important enough to make or break a possible relationship. If you can't be overcome something as trivial as a bad first message(who's only real intent should be to show that person you are interest in them), how can you expect that person to be able to deal with any other trivial differences you might have with them.
Obviously I can't really expect anything from this person, but a little bit of common courtesy would be nice. Her time isn't any more valuable than mine and I don't like feeling as if I am not even important enough to merit a response. I wouldn't just shun and ignore a stranger who tried to approach me in real life either.
My biggest issue I think is with people who expect way too much out of their icebreaker email. It's very annoying when you have people who expect to be completely taken off of their feet from an exceptional first message but then also take no effort in writing their profiles.
To me, the important part of the message is the person on the other end. If she interests me than I will reply no matter what she writes, if she doesn't interest me than I feel that I should at least let her know in a humane fashion. No one has ever gotten mad over a sensible "no thank you" message, they only get mad about being rejected. | |
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