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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?      Home login  
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 1 who cares
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 1
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
When a guy looks at your pic & they think you are sexy or pretty...The first thing that want is to have sex with you...I really don't think that they read your profile..They look at your pic and all that comes to mind is SEX..They want to do you & not get to know you....And they will ask you out for dinner or for a drink...Then i guess you are suppose to drop your panties after dinner..When you read their profile the are saying they are looking for that special someone & when you talk to them you find out all they want from you is a ( KUT BUDDY)..( sex partner) in other words.....I would like to know (**** ARE THERE ANY GUYS OUT THERE THAT WANTS TO GET TO KNOW ME*** BEFORE YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY FAVORITE POSITION IS IN BED**** ) ..I welcome your input on this matter..
 LonelytillLoved
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 2
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:08:31 PM
biology plain and simple. all men want sex and as soon as possible, but some of us want MORE. I want it all sex, love, conversation etc etc......
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:27:26 PM
Fundu68, no offense, but your pics are very hot and steamy....Thus any man with a desire for sex, will think sexy, on bed, hot hot legs, short dress, this hottie is advertising sumptin and it isn't her intellect...

I have NO ISSUES with your pics, however I have been on the forums for two years, and this question has been posed many times, with the same answer... Which is if a gal posts sexy pics, it is baiting the hook with bait for men that think they are gonna get laid...

Perhaps you might want to try pics that don't draw attention to your sexy, and see if you have better luck with finding guys who will at least try and be a bit more respectful... AND sometimes even doing that, all a gal has to do is show up, be female, and the over sexed will still try and take a nibble just to see if you are willing...

From personal experience and many years of being of and on dating sites men can find sexy with any pic, but anything that really stirs the heat down south, and then they loss most blood flow to the brain...

Good luck
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 4
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:34:58 PM
Yep, so true.

Reminds me of the office worker who wears a tight mini skirt with a low cut blouse to work then complains about being staired at.

The fact is EVERYONE thinks of sex at some point during the dinner date. Yes, you women do it too, so please don't act like you don't. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to "checking out" my date - albeit casually - and thinking about it at some point - doesn't mean I dwell on it all night. However, like myself, there are a lot of men out there who don't expect it on the first date. Hell, I don't even expect a kiss on the first date. I expect nothing other than time getting to know her better. But, that doesn't mean I'm turning her down should she initiate anything either!

Yes, I know sex has some emotional value attached to it, but it's a biological function not some dirty little secret that has to be tucked away in a dark closet never to be spoken of.
 telemonster
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 5
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:39:11 PM
I agree with her nexthyme ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^about the pics .




cheers and happy
and good luck in your search
 LonelytillLoved
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 6
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:42:27 PM
please she could be wearing a nun's habit and some guys will want sex, and if he does not, then he will come out of the closet in a few years.
 chewy21winks
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 7
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:58:29 PM
I agree w/ nexthyme your pix and the captions for them, scream that you are looking for sex. Might want to change them to just shots of your face. Hopefully that will work.
Best of luck trying to your Mr. Right.
 JstAnthrLonelyGirl
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 8
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:03:00 AM
I put a good subject line in my profile and tell them if they want me to read their mail, they need to read my profile. If they read it they know to use a specific subject line, if they don't then chances are I won't read it.
 telemonster
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 9
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:09:03 AM
One more thing, I looked at your profile and I think you should remove this
"& make my man happy..( If you know what i mean "
That's just my opinion and I dont mean to offend you in anyway
cheers
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 10
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:15:04 AM
LonelytillLoved I hear ya
please she could be wearing a nun's habit and some guys will want sex, and if he does not, then he will come out of the closet in a few years


I did note in the last part of my post that for some men it doesn't matter... As a woman that has been on these sites for as long as I have, like I said, they will find sexy in any thing, even if you are wearing an Eskimo Suit...

However, the reality is that MORE men will get the impression she is open and willing with the pics she has posted... I am told, and have read, that men are visual (vs women being what I don't know) but since this question has been asked many times by women, the first thing a person has to do is look at her pics, then see what she has said in her profile...

That doesn't mean she will not STILL get men who want sex on a first date, BUT it does cut the number way down...
 LonelytillLoved
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 11
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:24:47 AM
sex is not as bad as you female questers make it out to be, I challange any of you to name one experience that is better the a night of passion. seeking love on top of that passion is bliss.
 1 who cares
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 12
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:47:49 AM
Thanks to all who gave their views...I've done some of the things that you guys have suggested..But i will have to do a little more to touch it up a lil more...AGAIN THANKS!!
 pittbull29
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 13
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:52:26 AM
" Reminds me of the office worker who wears a tight mini skirt with a low cut blouse to work then complains about being stared at."

Good Lord, I hear you there my man. The particular move that you've mentioned is also referred to as attention-whoring.

Don't get me wrong... If a girl is modestly dressed, and NOT posing in some provocative fashion, then yes. She has a legitimate gripe here.

*TANGENT*
I have lost track of just how many times some female gets an attitude over being simply NOTICED, never mind being ogled at-drooled over-hit on-ext. No, no... Just glanced over for a second. And after she has proven to everybody in the work place as to just how much of a jerk she is, she then proceeds to complain bitterly about how nobody doesn't check her out. And then she has the audacity wonder why none of the guys will get to know her...
" Well honey... You DO remember that guy that you had taken to H.R. the other month. I believe the phrase that you used was harassment. Uh... Yeah. The rest of us were around when the 'HARASSMENT' happened. He spoke to you on a couple of occasions. He was both polite and nice to you. He even offered you his knuckles, to tap. It doesn't get any more buddy-buddy than that. And your reaction was to have him written up. Well, he's learned from his mistake... As well as the rest of us. Now if you will excuse me. There are deadlines to meet, and I've spent enough time away from my desk. So, I better hurry back before I have to have a 'sit-down' with the director of Human Resources next. Good day."

Yeah. I've actually HAD this conversation.

*BACK-ON-POINT*

This is a dating site, right? And ideally what does dating progress to? Hell, y'all ladies already turned it into a four letter word... Um... "d-a-t-e" Yeah. Skip that. I meant figuratively speaking of course.

Now for us guys, we look at as the following. A designated day, time, location, and activity. The only caveat that we have, is the simple hope that things will progress as rapidly as possible. And that whatever happens between two consenting adults is their business. Sure we hope, but we certainly aren't the ones giving consent here.
So masculine sense of the word date: Sex please. I can wait, but the sooner the better.

But for the average female's definition of the word "date". Let's assume that one girl is discussing her upcoming evening out with one of her girlfriends. And if said girlfriend asks," So, is he going to get lucky?" And the one going on the date replies," Oh, no. It's not a 'DATE'... It's just dinner."
Feminine sense of the word: I have my mind made up about this guy already... If it's a date? Then oh yeah. It's going down tonight. Otherwise I'm just in it for a free dinner.

Not to worry then momma. You see, this is a Dating Site," In the masculine sense of the word." not a 'Dating Site' *nudge-nudge wink-wink*. You get it?

Now if it seems that us guys aren't taking the time to read you profile, then you're probably right. I've lost count of all the profiles that I've taken the time to read, write to, and comment on the highlights that I liked. And low and behold?! Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Oh yeah, wait... They took the time to poke at my profile. The End. Now that was awfully anticlimactic, don't you think?
So yes... There's a very good chance that they didn't even bother. All of that work, and hours wasted, in an effort to impress someone of interest for nothing. Chances are you're not going to get much more than a " You're hot!". And that could fit in the subject line.*chuckle*
Sorry. But if the rest of other, ahem, "ladies" on this site would ever bother to write back... Well then chances are we would probably take the time to read up on you.

And finally... YES. We do want sex. Don't you? If not, then why are you here?

Best of luck.
 LonelytillLoved
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 14
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:10:37 AM
great post. humor walks with you.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 15
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:22:43 AM
Ok Lonely and pitbull, perhaps ya need to take a trip from the opposite side of the fence...


sex is not as bad as you female questers make it out to be, I challange any of you to name one experience that is better the a night of passion. seeking love on top of that passion is bliss.


Hmmmmm, it isn't that we think SEX is all that bad, however we don't want to be boinked, and then not hear from ya, and get some lame a$$ excuse that we should of kept are legs closed, after all don't we know that is the only thing a guy wants??? Besides if we had any respect for our selves we wouldn't be give it up so easy giving the impression we are nothing more than the "town bike".

I had a few to many years of LEARNING how NOT to treat SEX as just a natural part of life... WHY, I am/was a medical professional, and when you are a medical professional, all things human function are up for chats, laughs, jokes, and serious discussion...

My younger years were spent being beaten over the head with strict religious dogma how sex was NOT something you had until your wedding night, and that any good girl knows better, and would rather be killed than get raped...

So now wearing the big girl pants... It starts out as this...

(him)Hi, I like your profile... (me)Hello, yours is pretty good too, blah blah blah, the weather, what I do, what I like as hobbies (because they didn't bother to read my profile).

(him) we should go out some time, get to know each other better... (me) sure, what would ya like to do?

(him) So what are your thoughts on sex? (Me) in my mind wtf, I thought we were talking about going out to get to know each other... To him.. Uhhh ummmm What do you mean???
(him) well it has been such a long time since I have been with anyone (yeah like the night before last) and I can tell if we meet I won't be able to keep my hands off of you, what kind of sexual things do you like to do???

(me) still in a fog wonder where the hell we got from meet, to what kind of position I like.. Saying... Ya know, I don't know you, and so I am not feeling all that comfortable about discussing that... (him) ohhhh I can see in your pics you are really hot, and I bet you_____ and ______ and probably even ________. So what are you wearing now???

(Me) Look I am not even going there... I am not the right person for you...
(him) you up tight prudish b*&^h, you just wanted a free meal (me) yeah what ever...

Lonely, we women probably would be MORE OPEN, if we didn't feel like being that way would be taken as we want to have sex with you on the first date... As nice as it is to THINK that every guy is equal in providing pleasure, that IS far from the truth... NOT SAYING YOU, but there is a reason that some of us want to actually have some emotional feelings about the person first...

We gals want that because some men aren't that great the first trek around (AND DON'T THROW the well women blah blah blah... Don't date women, and women don't usually demand sex on the first date..) However that doesn't mean that after a few go arounds that they can't get the hang of handling and knowing how to "drive" us women...

The other thing is this, some people post el fako, or old old pics, and when we meet in person, boy that initial hmmm aren't you hot, fades to, those weren't your pics were they???

Now if we have spent this time chatting a guy up about sex, he is gonna be PO'd, and once again call us a couple choice names...

Example, met this one guy I made the mistake of writing... We met, I had a Soda, he ate this disgusting fungus filled burger, and it dripped and ran down his mouth... Then he leans in breathing this disgusting alcohol fungus mixed breath, and says your shy... You know we want each other, so am I going home with you tonight...

WTF!!!!! Ummmm NO!!!!... I got to go... I get up, and head out to my truck as fast as I can... He was right behind me, went to the passenger side of the truck, and like some idiot, because I was so shocked, I unlocked the door...

He jumps in and says gosh I can't believe I said that, what a jerk I am... Then he starts in about how great it would be, and bagging me to go home.. AS FREAKING IF...

Night of blissful passion??? FOR WHO???

Now, can any of ya see WHY we women have to be VERY CAREFUL about the impression we put out??? We may very well want to boink some guy that we have a mutual attraction to, and do it the first date... HOWEVER, we don't want to boink every single guy we meet, and for sure would gladly eat over the kitchen sink a TV dinner, then have a meal with someone that we are totally not attracted to...

 pittbull29
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 16
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:29:30 AM
...
WOW!

I would have to admit, that even if a runway-model-caliber woman were to pull that kind of stunt on myself? The first thing to come to mind would be.* OK-OK-OK Kevin... You're just having an erotic dream. Wake up before you have a nocturnal emission next.*
Second thing I would wonder would be.* Alright honey. What is your deal?! It's universally understood that the first date is simply like the interview for a job. What is the REAL agenda here? Got some man that you're trying to get even with? I'm clean, and I intent to stay that way. I have no desire for an emergency trip to the physician, in a couple days, to find out that I just received that special gift that just-keeps-on-giving.*

THEN paranoia would kick in. Right along with the age-old fight-or-flight instinct would be running at full bore.

Next you would see a bull of a guy get really nervous, really fast. I'm the type of guy that never backs down. And win, lose, or draw I'm going to get my pound of flesh out of my adversary no matter the cost. My will, courage, and stubbornness, all fit hand-in-glove when it comes to myself. But yet, they still have their limits in certain regards. THIS would be one of them.

I do like your example of initiating conversation. It's really good. But like all theories, or Engineering designs, looks great on paper... But theory collides with reality when the rubber meets the pavement. That's why you will never see a revision-free prototype of any kind. Um. Starting to Nerd out now. Moving on.

I did have a similar experience some time ago. I'll try to give you just the Reader's Digest version.
Older woman... Heck, they know what they want, right? It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. I asked her for her number. We both had places to be, and literally had just shared a glance in passing. We were texting each other later that day. I was content to keep it casual, you know? Just let it ride, and whatever will be will be. She obviously had VERY different plans. First day of texts took a turn for the naughtier side of things. I was going to keep things cools, but I was willing to follow her lead.
Day two: Things became down right pornographic. We're talking phone sex, nude photos... TOYS included! The works. I particularly liked the one she sent to me of her topless with a leash and collar. I found it to be beyond flattering that she was seemingly in such heat for me. This all went on for several days. And then abruptly everything came to a halt. I sent a friendly text to say," Hi. How are you doing?" *Insert sound effect of crickets here* Uuuuuummmm.... OK. I waited a few days. Nothing. Did she die in a tragic car wreck? Is she alright? I can understand busy..." Hm. Give it some time dude. That was an awful lot in a short time. Hell, even YOU feel the need to cool off a bit." I gave it a week and called... Got the voice mail... Left a message...*crickets* Nothing." OK. Time to evaluate bro. What did you do wrong? Was it anything you said, or didn't say?" "Um nope. Not that I'm aware of. I matched her step for step." *scratches head* "Then what the hell happened?!" "Dunno man. Giver er some time." Three weeks later I sent the same friendly text. What a surprise!!... Nothing.
She finally replied after I sent a not-so-nice message later the same day. Oh, this one was definitely one of those " Bridge, meet my friends matches and gasoline!" kind of messages.

I believe that it was definitely richly earned on this occasion.

But you all be the judge.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 17
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:57:41 AM
lol OK Kevin AKA Pitbull, you are pretty funny, you should add comic relief as one of your hobbies...

LOL "crickets"....Yep write a book of yuk yuks....

Yeah in my mid to late thirties life had its fun side...

As for your older lady friend, guess the husband came back into town, so she had to be the sweet little wife she pretends to be when he's around.... LOL who knows...

LOL, OP now ya get the picture here guys have this knack of thinking what's the matter with the build up, kind of like getting ready for Christmas with some of these guys...

You set out the decoration IE sexy pics... Add a bit of holiday party IE: sexy chatter, Get the build up for the main event of Christmas day a first date, and the Look I bought you an expensive meal, if I don't get any, then I will say you just wanted a free meal. So there is the main opening presents IE: event, sex...

Then late at Christmas nite, the let down..... What ya didn't get, and would of liked, IE: knowing it was more than just a roll in the hay... Then it starts all over again...
 pittbull29
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 18
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:13:34 AM
Oh so close, but hone your sites just two clicks to the right and you got a bullseye momma.

Now I don't speak on behalf of every guy out there.
Now as for me? I want it all. From start to finish. It doesn't have to come at me all at once, but ladies please don't shut me down before we have a chance to talk about things that really matter. What are you looking for? Um... Favorite color? Anything.

But all that I've learned thus far is that the more aggressive a woman is up front, the more she's just like a bottle rocket. There's a flash, a lot of noise, but so brief. And then *POP!*..... Show's over folks.
You know if you listen closely you can almost hear the disappointed sigh from the audience.
 msskarly
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 19
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:01:38 AM
Im only 20 but I have learned this... there will always be men who want nothing more than a good time! They usually give off warning signs that they want nothing more than sex but if you are surprised by their advances at the end of the date... turn em down, enjoy your free meal, movie, drink, etc... and go right back to searching! No man with any kind of respect for you would move so quickly (unless of course you were both up for it) and there are definitely good men out there who will treat you right! Its just the waiting around for that guy that sucks!
 computerguy1983
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 20
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:48:04 AM
I won't do it on the first night, some things aren't meant to be rushed.
 jarbarian2
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:12:47 AM
I always get a huge chuckle out of seeing a post that says "All men want is sex" and then seeing a profile of the same person who has nothing but "sexy" photos of themselves online.

DUH! What did you think would happen?!

If you sell sex on your profile then sex is what you will find. If you feel you need to toss up sexy photos to attract a man then I have to wonder if you have anything else going for you. I mean, not to be a jerk here but let's be honest. People who bring a lot to the table as far as relationships go do not need to put up sexy pictures.

Guys with six pack abs.
Girls with boobs hanging out everywhere or in bikinis.

I would rather be pleasantly surprised at how "hot" my date looks than to have it all hanging out for the public to gawk over.

In the end, it's your life to do as you please. Just don't expect guys to want anything BUT sex if that is all your profile is selling....
 MajinGodchild
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 22
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:18:24 AM
Not all men just want sex but unfortunently it is to do with Biology, blokes are inherently evil this way as they just wanna consumate as much as possible. But like i said there is always a minority that isn't a part of the norm unfortunently this minority has prolly been hurt in the past making it difficult for them.
 allibaybee47
Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 23
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:34:29 AM
......simply because they can
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 24
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Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:44:05 AM
Just say no..............


 river4711
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 25
Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:19:05 AM
For guys I've found that the three date method is far more productive with a much lower strike out rate. Spend the 1st three dates with physical contact, no kissing, holding hand etc. and then by the end of the 3rd date you make your move and they are so relieved that your not homosexual that they can't get their clothes off fast enough.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Is It That Guys Want Sex On The First Night?