| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:12:15 AM | I am wondering if anyone has experienced the same thing as myself. I have been on POF for a month and half and have already run into 2 men who have misrepresented themselves saying they were available and then find out later they are married.
Who am I to say what is right for another, I do however think its not right to misrepresent yourself. What do others think?
Kate | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:20:39 AM | I just posted this morning in the lying thread about seeing a guy I recognize from POF at the gym last night. In his profile he says he's divorced, but he sure was wearing a wedding band when I saw him last night. I'm pretty sure he recognized me too because he did a double take. It is 100% wrong to represent yourself as single/divorced if you're still married. There's no shortage of women out there who won't let a little thing like a wedding band stop them. Give those of us that this matters to a chance to say, "I'm not that kind of person. This is not what I want."
Between the married slime balls and recognizing ex-convicts (some of which are sex offenders) and convicted wife beaters on here, I'm about ready to call it quits. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:23:33 AM | I agree. POF has an option for married people, I wish they would use it - there are a lot of others looking for casual just like the married people, so its not as if they need to hide it.
There are lots of clues though - only emails or phones from work or mobile, won't give a home phone number, can't see you of a weekend all the time or their time is limited when they don't appear to have obligations, often cancels dates at short notice without a proper reason, often uncontactable by mobile of an evening or weekend (plenty of other clues too). While none of these by themselves would signify someone was married, the more that are present the more it is likely. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:25:50 AM | I don't know if it which I feel the most on this subject; anger, depression or annoyance.
People are here, usually to socialize or look for someone to have in their life that's more important than just a friend. Usually. And these blowhards are cheating on the person that's there for them. A twisted world we live in... | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:31:21 AM | I figure as long as there are places for people who want to date, there will be married men (and women) infiltrating the group. Why they don't search for other married people directly is beyond me - they'd be more accepted, and no one would assume it was going anywhere serious.
Instead they bother single people. *shrug* | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:40:25 AM | | how did you find out they were married? i've run across two kinds of men. some will openly admit it and the other kind will hide it for a while until you get suspicious and figure it out on your own. i've even told off some of the married ones and then they insult me!! wow, imagine that, i'm such a horrible woman because i actually want to date a single man, lol. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:44:19 AM |
Between the married slime balls and recognizing ex-convicts (some of which are sex offenders) and convicted wife beaters on here, I'm about ready to call it quits.
Can't say I blame you. The POF doors are wide open to all of us, therefore, literally anything can slime it's way in - and has.
I've posted it often here and will repeat it - if I find out any guy has misrepresented himself to me and he's actually married, I WILL find his wife and tell her. And then I hope she nails his balls to the rec room wall - right next to their velvet painting of Jesus. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:55:15 AM | Yeah, I hear ya girl. I get so tired of getting hit on by married men on here all the time ...
... oh wait, nevermind! | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:58:43 AM | | One guy after about a week admitted he was married but just looking for kinky sex, on his profile it says Separated which he is not. The other guy, he mistakenly set his privacy settings low on his MSN and the wife and I met online, wondering who each other was. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:00:58 AM | Must be the wrinkles around your eyes, I and the other guys think they are sexy | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:33:54 AM | Hate to break it you ladies but as long as there women who sleep with married men knowing full well that they are married there's not much to do but improve your screening process.
I have also seen the other side where there are plenty of married ladies looking for a little (or a lot) on the side too.
Whatya gonna do????? | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:52:16 AM | | I'm married and misrepresent myself. I'm actually much more handsome than I pretend to be. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:54:09 AM | The ones who want to rush...the ones who don't want to get to know each other first before meeting or getting up close and personal = RUN! (to me)
I heard a report on internet dating sites stating that 30% of all people on them are married.
Guys don't like how I go about dating and my cautiousness, then  | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:27:28 AM | so i deff have had this happen to me TWICE i went out with a guy umm about a week ago off here ended up being married and looking for a 3rd person..deff not my thing  | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:10:56 PM | | What about the ones that look like they just snatched their wedding ring off right before they meet you in person. I met someone like that once. He claimed to be separated for a year, but when I saw his ring finger it was a dead give away. That's why I don't date men who are supposedly "separated." Now for the ones who are genuinely separated AND living separately, those slime balls have you given you a bad rep. Just my opinion. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:25:34 PM | | I decided that if we have any interest in someone who claims to be separated, that we should have dinner or drinks with the husband/wife alone before going ahead with any dating. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:29:35 PM | recognizing ex-convicts
You might need to crawl out from under that rock you are under, if you think all ex-convicts are a problem. Some of this self-righteous BS makes me sick to my stomach. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:38:48 PM |
on his profile it says Separated which he is not. Umm.. separated IS married. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:58:59 PM | Passionate Gent - Like I said I've recognized ex-convicts I knew while working in a maximum security prison and a fair number of them are sex offenders. I think a sex offender trolling a dating site is a BIG problem, and no - for a sex offender I don't believe there should be any second chances. They should do the world a favor and remove themselves from it. For the non-pervert ex-convicts, it would depend on what they did, how long they'd been out, and what kind of life they'd been living since they'd been out.
One of my best friends from college landed his butt in prison right after he turned 18. As I once told my boss who was hassling me for hanging out with him - I didn't know him then. I didn't know him when he was an inmate. He'd already been out about a year when I met him, and in the now almost 20 years that I've known him he's been one of the most morally upstanding men I've ever known. But, he's the exception not the rule. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:09:59 PM |
I have been on POF for a month and half and have already run into 2 men who have misrepresented themselves saying they were available and then find out later they are married.
Unfortunately you're going to get this on social websites anywhere you look.
Common sense here, if you suspect he's not telling you the truth, do your due dilligence to find out if he's lying or not.
As for me myself, I will even tell a woman who doubts my status "Hey look, I'll bring a photocopy of my divorce decree and custody papers if it will set your mind at ease."
I have no problem with that, especially if it makes her relax and enjoy herself more. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:15:58 PM |
I have been on POF for a month and half and have already run into 2 men who have misrepresented themselves saying they were available and then find out later they are married.
Whoa......Reality...what a concept!
I take it you've never met guys in real life who lie about their marital status?
 | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:51:38 PM | | It doesn't make it right, but being married doesn't stop someone from pursuing a relationship. I've been asked out by married men, who have told me straight out they are married...gross. So married men pursuing other women online and offline is no different. What's sad is that some have no shame, especially the ones who aren't discreet. But it's a sad reality and some women are no better. It's like 'come on people, grow up already.' | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:56:55 PM | MissaInVA
Your friend is not alone, and one should never frame the basis of their experience as the norm for all ex-convicts.
Summary report from the Bureau of Justice Statistics would indicate your experience is far from rare.
Recidivism study estimated that within 3 years, 51.8% of prisoners released during the year were back in prison either because of a new crime for which they received another prison sentence, or because of a technical violation of their parole.
Therefore 48.2% became productive citizens without the need to recommit crime.
48.2% imagine that.
Within 3 years, 2.5% of released rapists were arrested for another rape. Which means 97.5 failed to recommit the crime of rape.
Lady the above data signifies your assumptions are based on ill conceived perceptions and not reality
Realize also that there are different degrees of sex offender crimes, in some States indecent exposure is consider a sex offender crime!
Even Jesus was arrested for a crime..imagine that. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:57:20 PM | | I remember reading decades ago that 1/3 of newspaper singles ads were from married people. So it is not a new thing. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:42:14 PM | | Recidivism statistics are usually higher. For males in the United States who have been in prison, about 60-70 percent are arrested again witin three years. So, I'd say caution around people just released from prison is warranted, altoug obviously you shouldn't paint all ex-cons with the same brush. | |
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