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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail "HELP PLS"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 1
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail "HELP PLS"Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
OKAY~~~~~
I was together with this man last night. He stayed over. We talk every day for at least an hour . He called me that afternoon and told me how tired he is and is going to take a nap. When he wakes up he will call me . When he woke up he checked his POF mail. Never called me.
I told him to loose my number . I was very upest that he can get online but not call back. He said that he doesn't want to jump into a relationship and does not like jealously. He actually calls thatis jealousy!!!! I don't like inconsidersate and inconsistant people. I believe that if he woke up and checked his POF mail then why didn't he call me? That is just respect and caring on some level. "I did not ask him to call me." He called me to tell me that he wanted to call me later and chose not to, leaving me feeling bad. Advice please?
I would like honest opinions.
 llRoninll
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 2
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:21:11 AM
(Disclaimer) Honest opinion, because you asked for it, I will be as respectful and tactful as I can (End Disclaimer)

First of all, if you were waiting by the phone, and losing your whole day waiting for this guy to call, then you are probably not going in the right direction, and should not depend on anyone but yourself.. take him or leave him, but don't hang your days on a guys movements and actions, you will be disappointed every time.

If he checked his mail but didn't call you, It would have been better to give him a day or so before you Got onto him.. only because that way you can say you didn't get a call in two days.. not 'I saw you check your POF mail online, and you didn't call me'.. .that screams stage 5 Clinger, Control freak, and kind of creepy.. like you were monitoring his every move.. (he SHOULD have called you, I am saying that plainly, this is just observation based on your story.)

If you two talked all the time, and last night was your first night *together* overnight.. if you were intimate, and he didn't call you back.. well.. I guess he got what he wanted out of you, and you know what category he falls in.

I"m of the beliefe it's the last one if he 'chose' not to call you.. Sadly.

be careful who you give yourself to.. and like all the other women here, put it plain and up front that you are not casual, and if you're looking for casual, look somewhere else..
 llRoninll
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 3
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:25:57 AM
Eh.. scratch that last.. I just read your profile.. I think you pretty much laid it all out there with a a howitzer, and I think you made your point.... So yeah.. Happy Hunting..
 kjacks31
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 4
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:29:17 AM
I think you're pushing it.

When you first meet someone, don't expect calls right away. Even if they say they will call. Telling him to lose your number makes you look clingy (I've been in your shoes, grew out of it), which is a turn-off to pretty much anyone with self-esteem.

This isn't intended to be as harsh as it probably is, but you need to chill out. If you meet someone, don't expect to hear anything for a few days. Call if you don't hear from them in a few days, or email them, depending on if you have their number, but only do it once or twice so they know you're interested. Any more than that is creepy/stalker-ish/clingy.

If you hear nothing, they aren't interested.
 learnthehardway
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 5
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:41:48 AM
Jeez woman lol...your profile SCREAMS 'i have been hurt and i hate u guys!!'
You want a longterm boyfriend, yet ya pics make u look easy.
I must admit, i have done exactly what u have...my boyfriend used to muck me about all the time, telling me he was at the pub when he had been online etc...because they lie once it fuels the fire and i was forever trying to catch him out after that. I realised that alot of it was my prob because of my insecurities and i got out cos i was just not ready for the relationship.
Reacting the way u did just gave him the excuse he needed to get out.
 kelaiel27
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 6
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History
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:56:49 AM
Honest opinion: Until you rethink your entire approach, this will happen again and again. They'll get sex, you'll get upset and fly off the handle the next day, they'll have their way out of it. It's a vicious cycle that only you can control.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 7
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:09:04 AM
You were with the man 'last night' but it was yesterday afternoon that you got mad at him?? WTF? I'm assuming you got mad at him the day AFTER you slept with him. Is that right? You got mad because he said he'd call and he didn't, but he did check in on POF. Is that the story?

How long have you been communicating with this man? You say you talk every day for at least an hour. How long has this been going on? Was the night he stayed over the first time you met in person? How long did you wait for the guy to call before you went off on him? I'm assuming you were the one who called him when you told him to lose your number.

The man isn't as into a relationship as you are. Period. Yes, you were acting jealous. Not to mention, childish. 'Waawaa!! You didn't call me when you woke up!! I don't want to play with you anymore!' Grow up! You're 40 years old. Stop acting like a teenager. Give a man a chance to miss you. Don't sleep with him right off the bat. Get to know the man first. Make sure he is the kind who wants what you want... a home and a family. Not just an easy lay. This man told you he doesn't want to jump into a relationship. Didn't you discuss that during those hour-long talks? That seems like it would be at the top of your list of things to ask men. "Are you looking for a serious relationship that could develop into marriage?" If the answer is no, move on.

You want Prince Charming and you want him 'right now'. That isn't going to happen. You are going to meet a lot of men who are going to say they are looking for a relationship just so they can get in your pants. You have to be discriminating. Don't fall for every line. Take time to get to know the men and weed out the ones who aren't suitable. When reading your profile, I was immediately hit with how desperately you want to find Mr. Right. Some men will take advantage of that. If you refuse to go to bed with them, then the ones who are in it just for sex will fall away, and the ones who are serious about a relationship will remain.

Take care of your heart. Don't let anyone get too close until you really know he's worth it. And that takes more than some phone calls and one sleepover.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:25:26 AM
To quote your own profile:
"I don't respond, please don't don't it personally"
After a night with you, he didn't respond.
Don't take it personally
 Forum Junkie09
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 9
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:10:54 AM
OP your profile screams psycho and I say the man was darn lucky for escaping your clutches! The fact that he got a piece before running I find absolutely hilarious!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 10
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:12:59 PM
well, at least i got a piece of ar se
time to find someone calls when he says that he will
maybe a man that cares
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:42:24 PM
First of all, welcome back ma'am, long time no see. Sorry to see you back posting here in broken hearts.
I wish I had some decent advice for ya
 sleeplessingibsons
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 12
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:09:56 PM
umm...he didnt call you back? lmfao..what a moron. No advice here i just cant believe it.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 13
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:19:27 PM
actually, i found out that i annoyed him for finding out that he was on pof
WHAM
BAM
THANKYOU MA'M
Yes, I was a casual fuchk by a player who wants a LONG TERM relationship
he even said that he cared
total BS, any man knows that if he cared, he would have called, apologized, and taken responsibility for not calling me back the night after we slept together. No instead HE
was looking for more a ss on POF

What a piece of schit!!!!!!
 repair-guy
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 14
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:28:28 PM
Thin skin. Toughen up. How come y0u can't take your own medicine?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:01:16 PM
You can't have it both ways. Casual sex and long time commitment do not usually go hand in hand. You don't advertise for a husband and father for your kids because it DOES make you sound desperate to hook up with anyone. If you develop a relationship before spending the night together a man might be more inclined to be faithful and loving to you and call you the next day.
Tone down your profile, it is one of the most blatant 'use me' profiles I have ever read. The sexy poses and outfits will attract the lowest common denominator first and any decent man that looks at your profile is going to see red flags everywhere.
You deserve better treatment, but to get better you have to insist upon it and be selective. Judging from your previous posts I think you are making the same mistakes with the same type of men all over again. First date, then get become exclusive, then become intimate and then see what happens.
 repair-guy
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 16
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:26:49 PM
People don't get what they deserve - they get what they settle for.
Contrary to what the OP thinks she got (a piece of arse), I think she got shat on!
There's a hole lot of difference - that's why she's fuming. Stinks, I bet...
Nothing beats getting screwed on all levels - physically, emotionally, psychologically!
First being called a diaper - then being treated like one! Yikes!
 StillUnraveling
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 17
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 5:19:21 PM
Omg what a nutjob. You stalk POF mail to see if he read your message and expect him to drop everything and pick up and talk to you that instance. If he took a nap then maybe he got behind in some things. You do not make the world go round. I question why he wanted to go home and take a nap and not a nap with you.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 18
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:41:15 PM
Wow. I think I will change my name to "ImNOTSuchAMessAfterAll" after seeing this.
 Kristyn02
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 19
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:51:52 PM
^ Hahahaa, awesome.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 20
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:56:43 PM
OMG still unraveling are you a drama mama or what??? I mean, people like make jokes in here, but you need a serious drama "teacher" for your theatrics keep unraveling
you got a way to go
pls don't make up stories about me that i never wrote in the forum. you are dillusional.
yes, people get what they settle for...............
the diaper comment is sad but true
now , carolann stop character assasin on me because i am alot better looking then you. you have been attacking me for a year now. i am sick of it!!!! you do not know my relationship with this man either. i never told you. there was a level of trust and he admits to having issues and problems. i just didn't expect him to run he knows that he is scared of failure in a relationship and divorce. but i can go on forever about his problems believe me!
BUT>>>I was willing to deal with them and work with him as long as he trated me with respect. which is not the case, when a man tells you that he likes you alot and is calling you soon doesn't and is checking out other a ss.....................THAT SUCKS
I call a spade a spade
AND THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL & shows me that he doesn't care!!!

For psychdrama mama up there KOO KOO LADY~~~~He has me on favorites and viceversa and the first thing that popped up on my screen was HIS FACE ONLINE NOW!!
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 21
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:42:43 PM
In all seriousness, it does not matter WHAT the OP is wearing in her profile. Hell, I could be wearing a BURKA and still get lied too. What matters here, is the guy lied to her ...and we were not there to hear the whole conversation. I know how it feels, as many of us on this very website, to be lied too and taken advantage of. I look at is another lesson learned for her. And it could happen to any of us. Is sucks. Lying is lying no matter what we are wearing. I wear a bikini, and show some leg. Does that make me cheap? No. Hell, I can count on ONE HAND how many men I have been intimate with. Should I stop wearing certain things? Hell no. I work out 4 to 6 days a week like a MOFO and eat right...dammit I am wearing cute clothes...lol AND I CAN!!!
Anyway, without being there and hearing HIS/HER side, it is hard to say. All I can say for the OP is just be careful from now on.
 Passionate Gent
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 22
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:58:05 PM
All due respect, you might need to grow up. Has the thought occurred to you his every minute does not have to be about you?

You overreacted, what was wrong with simply having a tad bit of patience?
Woman until you learn not to wear your emotions on your shoulder and give a man the benefit of the doubt you'll continue on this merry-go-round of mistrust.

I seriously don't think your mature enough for a relationship, if you allow something as mundane as checking email cause emotional distress. 40 years old and you still have not learned patience? I suppose you are under the impression he should run like a bat out of hell as soon as he woke up to call you?

Freakin hilarious..
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 23
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:20:17 PM
no,
he fuchked me then looked for more a ss and was not going to call
that is what pissed me off BABE
i was used
 Forum Junkie09
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 24
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:39:14 PM
The only person who can use you is the one you ALLOW to use you

Stop trying to act like such a martyr in all of this. You spread them for a man you didn't know. Maybe instead of being mad at him, take responsibility for your actions and learn from them. Maybe next time you will be more selective.
 kristala
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 25
Promised to call. Didn't But checked POF mail HELP PLS
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:55:48 PM
i do hate it when someone says that they will call u and it never happens. and he never called u back after being with him. what a dog. hes so not ready for a relationship!
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