| Hard time getting into dating
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:56:18 PM | I'm probably not alone in this, but I'm certain I may be rare. I'm 22 years old and I've never really been in any sort of a relationship and had just about as little experience with intimacy.
My years growing up often found me to be a bit of an outcast. Part of that may have been my hobbies, my appearance, or events at home, but I'll leave the messy details out of this post.
Finally I have found a comfortable place to live with a good roommate, I have a good job and I have a car. I am in a relatively content place.
Lately however, I've been trying to get into the dating game for the first time, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult. I feel somewhat awkward, being this age and having the social skills of a teenager. It's growing rather frustrating.
What I want is any advice; what is it that's keeping girls from being interested? Is it my poor social skills, the way I look, or something else? | |
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| Hard time getting into dating
Posted: 6/20/2009 1:40:23 PM | Social skills definatly. Perhaps there are girls interested, but your very limited experience is keeping you from being able to catch on when they are. So then they assume you aren't interested and lose interest. First thing to do is find and keep your confidence no matter what the situation. Social skills will improve over time, but only if you keep trying to be social and learn these skills. Try putting yourself in as many social situations as possible and surround yourself with friends that have great social skills. You'd be surprised how much you'll pick up through association!
Best of luck to you man! Just keep at it and be confident in yourself! | |
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Ep1ca
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Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 3 | |
| Hard time getting into dating
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:31:41 PM | | your def. not a bad looking dude;(no homo) Although I am right there with you with the lack of social skills. I was told by someone to come on POF to try and build my social skills! haha Im just messaging random girls starting up convos. | |
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| Hard time getting into dating
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:31:46 PM | Honestly, I was the same way! I was a total outcast in HS and when I got to college I lost 60 pounds and my looks improved a lot! I had no idea how to start dating but I found it much easier online (since Im shy)! & honestly its not your looks! You look fine! What you may be doing is overthinking things too much! When you start talking to someone or go out on a date just treat them mostly like you would a friend and maybe throw in a compliment or two! After a while of talking to people it will just come naturally (I promise!)
Good luck!
~ Karly | |
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| Hard time getting into dating
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:22:50 PM | This post is a bit long, but these kinds of questions are much deeper than just a sentence for an answer.
You really haven't provided anything to go off on. BUT...what is obvious from your post is your confidence. I just think people are too focused on appearing to be something rather than working towards actually becoming what they are appearing to be. Ha...that was a bit of a run on...but what I mean is; work on yourself before trying to gain someone elses interest. It's great you have the tools to be independent, now continue. Go out and have a good time and don't worry about impressing anyone.
Be comfortable with yourself. Go buy nice clothes, look and smell good. Be interesting, have fun stories to share (real ones), be respectful...demand respect by not being a pushover...most importantly, work on your confidence. You WOULD NOT BELIEVE what happens once you believe in yourself and have confidence. It is like a magnet, it will draw everyone towards you. When it comes to your social skills just put yourself out there. I know it sounds easier said then done, but just talk to random people. Talk to random girls, who cares if they turn you down.
I have a friend who about two years ago literally told me, "Jaysen..**** this..I am going up to every girl I like, I dont care anymore" and HE DID!! I am still amazed at the balls this guy has..he will literally just walk up to any girl that he likes and because he is now so confident and takes care of himself, he is getting girls he thought he would never get. I kid you not, this guy is pulling some gorgeous women that I know he wouldn't 4 years ago!!! I am so proud of him because he use to be a heavy kid, and he dedicated himself to losing the weight, taking care of himself and just being a freaking stud! lol And the few that do turn him down, he walks way with a smile on his face, it's like he's a whole new person and no one can knock him down. Thats the attitude you need to take on.
You have to like yourself for others to like you; this is especially true with girls.
Goodluck. | |
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